"Hope is the last thing ever lost."
~Italian Proverb
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Spencer

Elsa swiftly placed herself in the kitchen alongside Finn and Rey the second Anna hung up on our siblings. I shared a concerned look with my brother and my wife's twin. What had Elsa's reaction been about? Judging by the tears in their eyes and relief in their voices, Caleb, Hunter, and Josie didn't hate Elsa like she thought they did, so why act that way towards them?

"Should you talk to her, or should I?" Anna asked quietly.

"I'll do it. Can you help me get her out of the kitchen?"

"Say no more." Anna moved into the kitchen and promptly removed the cooking utensils from her sister's hands. She said, "Out. You cooked the last few days. Take a break."

"So?" Elsa grabbed another spatula from a drawer and pointed it at her twin. "We're a pack. We take care of each other."

Rey, from behind Elsa, swiped the tool from her alpha's hands. "Nope, I'm with Anna on this one. You've cooked multiple times this week and did the dishes. Take a break."

Elsa grimaced. "Et tu, bruté? Fine. If you need anything, I'll be in the office."

My wife strolled through the busy kitchen and up the stairs. Shooting Anna and Rey a look of gratitude, I followed Elsa. By the time I reached the office, she had seated herself in the desk chair and typed madly away. I grabbed a chair and pulled it up alongside her as I asked, "What are you doing?"

"Helping the Kids determine who is who, distinguishing personality and fashion features between Dean and Sam since they're identical, and then the best strategy to get the substance into them without them freaking out. So far, the best we've been able to come up with is knocking each person out and then injecting them with it, but I'm not comfortable with the idea. There are too many risks for both sides."

"Let me guess: Brayden came up with that one?"

Elsa chuckled. "How did you guess?"

"What are the other options?"

"Slipping into their drinks, but there's no guarantee they'll drink it all, or worse, they'll be able to taste the substance and won't finish the drink because of it. Then we've thought about lining up snipers to shoot the vials into them with rapid-acting injectors, but again, if we don't get them all at around the same time, our packs will go on lockdown, and we won't be able to touch them."

"That is definitely a conundrum," I agreed, finding my opening into the true reason I'd come to talk to her. "What if Lily, Hunter, Caleb, and Josie could help?"

My wife hesitated before answering, "I don't feel comfortable using them. I'm not sure I entirely trust them."

"Is that why you acted the way you did to them earlier?"

"Maybe..." Elsa sighed and placed her elbow on the desk, bracing her head in her palm.

I scooted closer to her and rested my hand on her knee. "Talk to me, Elsa. What's going on?"

"It's a couple things, but you already know I don't trust them. I mean, they showed up on those church steps with the rest of our old packs, who were intending to kill us. They sent us no warning despite having a method of contacting us either. I just- maybe they do miss us, but they're more loyal to our families than they are to us, and I don't blame them for that, but it makes me hesitant to trust them. Then there's the rest of our old packs who hate us. They showed up at the church to kill us, my dad nearly beat the life out of you, your parents did nothing but stand and watch, and while I begged and pleaded for someone to help us, everyone simply stood and stared. The only reason you're alive is because my mom stopped my dad, but that was a one-time thing. She wouldn't do it again, and Dad has never been one to hold back on his threats. If he sees you again, he will attempt to kill you, and if he did that... I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive him."

"I understand," I said sincerely, my heart aching at the pain in my wife's voice. "What's the other thing?"

"It's a stupid thought," she confessed, a humorless chuckle escaping her lips, "but I'd started to believe this war would never come. We've had a year-and-a-half of peace, and I know it was fake and wouldn't last forever, but part of me hoped it would, and that was my mistake. I should've known better than to get my hopes up for something like that because it would only hurt in the end, and lo and behold, I was right about that happening."

"It's okay to have hope, Elsa."

She shook her head. "I had hoped they would accept us when they circled us the night we escaped. I had hoped they would save me when I'd been kidnapped by the Shadows. I had hoped that time would've lessened their grievances with us when we invited them to our wedding. Each time I tried to believe in the best outcome, I was always left disappointed, and after the torture by the Shadows, every disappointment became so much more agonizing and intense, and I can't put myself through that again. I can't let myself be emotionally compromised during this battle if I'm going to survive it. I just can't. Not after what I went through with the Shadows. I know it's been almost four years since I was freed from them, and I know Melinda helped me overcome the PTSD, but there are still lingering effects, and it destroyed a lot of my ability to hope for things. I'd rather have no hope at all and be right all the time or pleasantly surprised than to hope for something and have my heart broken when it doesn't happen. I can't do it. I can't-"

"Hey, hey, hey," I consoled, kneeling directly in front of her and taking her free hand in mine. "That's okay. We're not judging you for it. Elsa, as much as we can help you with what you're going through, we will never truly know what it was you went through and the trauma it may have caused you. It's okay if you don't want to hold out hope for things. I'll hold it for both of us."

"But it shouldn't all fall on you."

"It's not. I know some of the others are hoping the same as I am that we'll reconcile with our families once this shitshow ends. Elsa, listen to me: you do whatever is best for you. None of us will judge you for it, I promise, and I'll put anyone in their place who does."

My wife massaged the side of her head. "I feel like I'm being stupid about all of this. Having Caleb and Hunter support me in all this is what I wanted for so long, but now that it's here, I find myself barely trusting them, and all I can think about is that we're about to fight again."

"If you're not up to it-"

"If you think I'm letting all of you go fight this without me, you're stupider than Brayden when he thought he could beat Killian in an arm-wrestling contest."

"I was going to give you the option even though I knew you wouldn't consider it."

"No, I started this. I'm finishing it, too."

"We started this," I corrected firmly. "You didn't do this all by yourself. And whatever comes our way, we will face together, okay?"

Elsa nodded, wiping a stray tear off her face. "Sorry for all this. Seeing my old packmates, it- it reminded me I do miss them. I miss them a lot."

"It's just seeing them means our peace is gone," I said understandingly, kissing the back of her hand. "But it will be back. We will get our peace back, whether that's with our old packs in our lives or not."

"How do you know that?"

"Because it's us. We've come this far already, and I have faith that we'll survive this, too," I said, standing up. Elsa followed suit, wrapping her arms around my neck. "What do you say we enjoy as much of this peace as we can before the war gets here?"

Elsa smiled and gave me a chaste kiss. "I like the sound of that."

Neither of us moved, enjoying the quiet and each other's presence before the inevitable chaos ensued. I had no doubt it would be soon.