Prompt: Yoongi + "We should probably talk." + from Undo series

Word count: 2,041 words

Character: Yoongi x reader / Yoongi's POV

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One year.

It was one year ago when she opened the door to let me back into her life. It was one year ago when I opened my mask and revealed to her my deepest secret, when I showed her my vulnerability and my broken soul.

For one year I watched her struggle. I watched her collect every fragments of her broken heart starting from the first night she took me back home with her. I watched her open her arms and giving me a chance to help her collect the remaining fragments of her shattered soul, and a chance to help mend them together piece by piece. I've watched her fallen in and out of love, and I had to live in fear of having to see her give up everything, yet she kept showing me how she would always come back stronger, unwavered despite her many fears, showing me how she was willing to fight all of the haunting pain and face everything together with me.

For one year I had to struggle, facing my own personal battle every time regrets started creeping in and finding their way back into my heart. And among those moments she would always be there, guiding me and teaching me how to forgive myself while she fought her way to be able to forgive me completely.

Every time I felt myself wavering, having the ghosts of my guilt and my past pushing me into running away, I would think about how I had to go through life without her by my side, and remember how far I was driven into the dark without her as my anchor.

For one year we have been sleeping on our bed side by side, holding each other tight to be able to feel each other's presence and warmth, to show each other that everything is real, that we are real, that we do belong with each other. For one year there was never a night where I fall asleep worrying that one day she might regret everything, that one day I would see her pack up and leave because the pain which I had inflicted on her was too unbearable to face and fight against, or because I was dragging her too far deep into the darkness of my despair. But every day I would always wake up to find her lying next to me, holding me tight and leading me to believe that she will stay, and we can actually move forward together.

During that one year I constantly reminded myself of how much pain I have given her only to promise myself to never do it again - not to her - because the thought of her living in such pain only breaks me apart even more, and I will fight against all odds to be able to hand her a life where she would no longer feel unwanted.

Sometimes I would look at her and remember how she would look into my eyes, and I could see her questioning me with her stare - "Why?"

Why did I leave her?

Why did I leave her in shreds when she had given me everything?

And I have spent every night unfolding each layers of my mask to answer them without ever waiting for her to speak out those questions to me. I spent all of those nights revealing to her my dark past. How I felt so low and undeserving of her love and care. How I was afraid of having her find out the truth about my insecurities and my darkest demons, about how fragile I actually was because of her and for her, that rather than having to watch her walk away from my life, I had chosen to push her away and turn my back from her as I shattered her heart into pieces. I kept telling her how much I regretted on losing her, how I felt my life turned into hell since the moment I lost her.

I kept unfolding every dark secret and every pain in my soul, every wound, until I am left bare in front of her so she can see deep into my soul, so she can lay out all of her own wounds for me to heal, until the look in her eyes starts showing me new questions.

What's next?

Sometimes I would look at her and wonder what good deed have I done to deserve such kind of love.

Why me?

Why did she choose me?

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She has been pacing in the apartment for hours. She has been showing me her good mood ever since we got back home, but there were times when she thought I wasn't paying attention, when I could see the look in her eyes flickering, showing hints of doubts which she would erase with a shake of her head or an exaggerated smile.

She keeps forgetting how much I can read her so well.

"Baby?" I called out to her. "Aren't you tired? What are you doing- why do you keep going back and forth like that?"

"Uh- no, I'm okay," she shrugged at me, before she purses her lips and turns to walk towards the kitchen. "You know, I should probably prepare for dinner."

I let out a sigh. "We should probably talk."

She turns around to look at me, and my heart skips a beat the moment my eyes met hers. I can't understand how she can still look at me with fondness, after so long and after everything we've been through. She gives me a smile as she answers me with, "Yes? What is it?"

I keep my hands on my side as I walk closer to her, until she welcomes me with both her arms raised, and I can't help but do the same so we can join each other in a hug in the middle of the room. She looks up to me and waits for what I'm about to say, and I do have a lot of things that I have been planning to say to her. But I'm too overwhelmed at the thought of having to say something which she might be uncomfortable with, that I immediately lost my ability to speak them out. I open my mouth and I just stop myself since I can't find the words I was planning to say.

So all I can do is to lean down to give her a chaste kiss right on her unsuspecting lips, earning her to giggle and give me a little push on my chest. "How are you feeling?" I asked her finally, a smile is formed on my lips to mirror hers.

"I'm okay- great, actually," she said, swaying a little as we enjoy being wrapped up on each other's arms.

"So did you have a good time earlier today?"

She lifts her eyebrows and sighs. "Hmmm? Oh- I have been having a splendid time, and not just today, the whole week even," she giggles at the end. "I feel like I have been spoiled because I get to spend time with you all week."

I return her smile before giving her another quick peck at her lips, asking her after I pull back. "Then what is bothering you?"

I watch her gnawing on her lips as she ponders about the question, before looking straight into my eyes once again. I should probably be worried, but the look in her eyes only lets me know otherwise, so I just wait until she can express whatever is in her mind.

"Does it really show?" She looks at me with a crease appearing on her forehead, sighing at the fact that I can see through her too many times already, and I give her a nod to answer. "I'm sorry, I just- have a lot of things in my mind, it's nothing, really-"

"Just tell me what it is."

Deep inside I can already guess what she might be thinking. I have been spending all week with her, taking her to places which hold so many memories of us together. I took her to the places we used to go to on our dates, the old places and the recent ones. I took her to the parks which we always our small picnics when we were younger. To the coffee shops, movies, amusement parks, and even the small alleyways - every corner that held pieces of our stories. Old and new.

"Why? I mean- I love going to these places with you because I have a lot of fun this week, and I love to reminisce our days, but- why? Why do you take me to these places?"

I give out a sigh, licking my lips as I prepare myself to continue speaking. "Everywhere we went- There is always something left behind at that place, always something written in it which holds our memories. I'm sure you can feel it, can't you?"

She nods her head. "Yes- I just-"

"How does it make you feel, going back to those places with me?"

She looks up to me, sighing and pursing her lips while she tries to read me. But I only stand there in silence, waiting for her to let me know how she feels. "I have to admit-" she starts answering, nibbling her lips as she says, "I have mixed feelings. All of those places- I can remember back when we always go there. The parks, the little cafes, and even that restaurant when you took me on our first date. They made me feel and remember everything, how we started dating, how I fell in love with you- but-"

I hold her tight in a hug, my lips ghosting over her temple, and I wait for her to control her breath before she continues, "But every time the memories of how we used to be appears in my mind, the thought of how I- how we- how I lost you keeps coming back. I always feel better after because you make it up by taking me to a new place, but- I know I shouldn't keep thinking about what has passed, but I just- I don't know, I get sad when I think that- when I remember that there were the times when I didn't have you in my life and I had to avoid going to those places because of that. Because they made me feel hurt."

I lift her chin with my fingers. I kiss her gently before I speak, "I know. I know how it feels, because I did that too. I avoid those places because even if I still went there, my mind would only be filled with the thought of you."

I release the hug and hold both of her hands in mine. "That's actually why I took you to walk down on that memory lane. I want you to see everything, all of the good memories and the bad, with me." I smile at her, and she returns them immediately. A sigh slips through her lips and the light in her eyes appear once more, encouraging me to continue. "Because we might not be going to be able to do that again."

"Why?" Her smile falters, while I keep mine.

I reach into my pocket and retrieve something from it to place into her hand. My skin feels warm the minute the cold metal leaves my palm and moves into hers. She only looks at the object with wonders.

"Keys? What- what are these for?"

"Our new place."

Her eyes lights up, filled with questions and doubts until I speak again, "We've built this place, filled this apartment with memories, the beautiful ones and the painful ones. And we've filled this city with the same memories. Let's move away and start new, let's make new memories."

She opens her lips, with only gasps leaving slipping through them as she is now lost for words. I chuckles the minute I see her eyes brimming with tears - the kind of tears that I always love to see.

And I let her embrace that feeling, giving her a chance to let everything sink in.

Before I retrieve another object from my other pocket. One that will change our fate forever.

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