Boss: *out cold on the ground*
Eugene: Oh my god, do you think they’re okay?!
River, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! *dumps all of the water on Boss’s face*

Eugene: It’s Pride Month, you know what that means!
River: I get to eat as many Skittles as I want?
Eugene: What? No! What has Boss been telling you?
Boss, walking in, pouring Skittles into their mouth: Taste the rainbow, bitch.

River: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
Boss: They do.
Eugene: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

Eugene: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.

Boss, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.
River, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please.
Boss: Coming right up.

Boss, to Eugene: If you see River, give them this message *makes a neutral face*
Boss: They'll know what it means.
*later*
Eugene: oh, and Boss said to give you a message.
Eugene: *makes a neutral face*
River: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.