Julian's conscience was his best friend, advisor, everything. And when it told him not to have high hopes about the supposed conversation with his parents...he shoved it away and decided not to believe in it. That was his largest mistake. He chose to hope that his parents would finally accept him. That they would stop treating him differently. That everything would become normal.

He had walked into his house, head filled up with various scenarios of what his mom and dad would say. They had been sitting in the kitchen, talking to each other in low whispers. It seemed to be an argument of some sort.

" You don't understand," his mom was saying, " There are other children in his school who believe they are gay. I think this is what influenced him. And the internet. The internet promotes such abnormal things and labels it as normal"

His father had snorted in answer " If only he was manly enough, he wouldn't have been influenced by such freaks"

" And...what is your definition of manly ?" Julian had asked loudly, announcing his arrival

" Julian. Baby—" his mother had started but he was already out of the house.

Julian's fists were clenched, nails digging numbingly into his palms as he stomped down the driveway. If he had pressed any harder he would've drawn out blood. He flung open the door to his car and revved the engine to life. His hand automatically went to the radio to turn it up. And when a song he hated with passion started playing...he let it play.

Julian drove around the whole town aimlessly for about two hours. He considered going over to Ren's but Ren would ask him what happened and Julian would have to explain everything and he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to barge in and ruin the peaceful atmosphere in Ren's house. He had done that countless times and it made him feel guilty. It was only when he passed by an ice cream parlour did he remember that he had promised to buy some for Hayden. And when he thought about Hayden, he thought about Wynter. And so he spent all the money in his wallet on about five tubs of ice cream.

When he arrived at Wynter's house he was surprised that he wasn't greeted by the little girl with dark brown eyes. She would usually greet him with a squeal and a large hug to his knees. And then she would wrap her tiny body around Julian's leg and he'd walk inside, simultaneously carrying her too.

According to Wynter she was tired because she had been practising her dance for the play. And she fell asleep as soon as she finished eating a whole bowl of pomegranate seeds.

And now he was sitting next to the dark-haired boy, done with his story. Julian had expected Wynter look at him with pity-filled eyes but he had on a calm expression which the green eyed boy was thankful for. Wynter sniffed a little and cleared his throat " You ever gone star-gazing?"

" Nah...Is it fun?" Julian asked lying down on the couch and throwing his legs onto Wynter's lap.

Wynter glared at him half-heartedly before shaking his head " Not really. It's shit unless you've learnt everything about constellations and all. Plus with all the pollution you can hardly see any stars. I always hated the stars anyway"

Julian frowned, scratching the inside of his elbow while looking at the dark-haired boy " Why? Stars are beautiful..."

Wynter laughed. The kind of laugh that people let out when they find someone or something very naive. He inhaled deeply and looked towards the window " Stars are like life problems. The pollution that blocks out their shine is like your...daily busy life. When you don't have time to sit and think... you just see a fraction of the problems. They look so bright...so difficult and dangerous. But when there's no pollution you realise that you have more problems waiting for their turn to be displayed in the sky"

Julian remained silent. He could feel Wynter's pain rolling off in waves. The dark-haired boy was strong but his resilience wouldn't last long. Soon all his pillars would crumble and his dreams would get crushed under them. Julian sat up, setting his feet on the ground "I'll help you burn all your stars"

" Da-da? Julian?" a high-pitched voice demanded suddenly.

Julian smiled and turned to look back. Hayden stood on the stairs, pouting sleepily. She walked down slowly and climbed into Julian's lap. Her head resting on his chest, she snuggled into him " I'm sleepy. But I can't sleep"

" Why not?" Julian asked, brushing back hair from her cheek and kissing her head. He frowned when she didn't answer and instead snuggled closer. Julian looked to Wynter for answers. The other boy just shook his head as if to say- Not now.

" Hayden...do you want me to take you back to your room? I'll tell you a bedtime story too. Okay?"

Hayden shook her head " No. The mean man will climb in through my window and steal me from Da-da and you"

Julian swallowed and closed his eyes, kissing her head once again. He put his arms around the little girl and cradled her for a bit until he was sure she was asleep. Over the past weeks, Hayden had become important to him. The stubborn and strong girl with iron will. The little girl who had convinced Julian Sanders to sit and watch Peppa Pig with her. Julian Sanders who had stopped watching cartoons at the age of seven and had always despised them had made an exception and agreed to watch Peppa Pig with her. And if it wasn't for Hayden, Julian would have never seen Wynter with a tiara on his head.

" Wynter...what's going on? Who's this mean man? Why would he steal Hayden?" Julian asked, arranging a few pillows on the couch for Hayden to rest her head on.

" My dad" Wynter whispered, desperately hoping that Julian wouldn't ask him anything else. He wasn't ready to talk about it.

Julian was tempted to ask Wynter what he meant, but one look at the other boy's face and Julian dropped the idea. Wynter had suddenly gone pale. His breaths were going shaky and his hands were rising up to clamp down on his ears.

" Wynter?" Julian called in a low voice making the other boy's head snap towards him.

" Yeah?" Wynter asked, running a hand through his hair and trying to pretend that he hadn't just been on the edge of having a panic attack. Tears brimmed in his eyes and overflowed, sliding down his eyelashes and onto his cheeks.

" Hey...you'll be okay. You're alright" Julian whispered, shifting towards him and holding Wynter's face between his hands. He ran his thumbs on the skin beneath Wynter's eyes, wiping away the tears.

" Wynter..." Julian started, hoping to distract the dark haired boy, "Did you know there's a fruit that looks like a white strawberry and tastes like pineapples? So they call it pine berry. Also—"

" —you're an idiot? Yes I figured that out long ago" Wynter interrupted sagging against Julian's shoulder suddenly. Julian bit his lip trying to calm down his lungs that were suddenly in the need for more oxygen. He was so screwed.

All his life Julian wondered what it would feel like to have a crush on someone. Now that he knew...he would describe it in two words. Fucking Scary. Julian was scared that he'd do something impulsive or rash...like randomly blurting out his feelings or kissing him abruptly. But more than that, he was scared of how Wynter would react. Wynter had accepted him into his life without showing any importance to what gender Julian preferred. And now Julian was going to mess up the one friendship that was actually true.

" Julian...you ever feel like dissolving into nothing? No pain...no tears...."

" All the time" Julian answered honestly, leaning back on the couch, making Wynter sit upright.

" Is it crazy that I want you to live? Because you deserve so much more than what you have...."

" I could say the same for you" Julian mumbled with a small smile when Wynter flung his legs over Julian's lap, imitating the green eyed boy's actions from a few minutes back.

" We're so pathetic" Wynter whispered, staring up at the chipped paint on the ceiling that was peeling off. It looked like a snowman.

" Who isn't?" Julian said, a kind of humourless amusement in his voice.

An hour later when Wynter was asleep, Julian was still awake. He sat still for a while...letting his mind wander to unimportant and random things. Who decided that the Earth should be named Earth? Why do some foolish people still think that people speak Indian in India when no language called Indian exists? What was wrong with the education system of the world? Do people still believe that we get chocolate milk from brown cows?

Julian looked over at Wynter. An arm was thrown over his face to shield his eyes from any form of brightness. His chest rose up and down in rhythm with his breathing. Reluctantly, Julian lifted Wynter's legs off his lap and stood up before placing them back on the couch. He rested his hands on his hips and turned around in a circle. When his eyes fell on a stack of sticky notes, he picked them up and hunted for something to write with until he found a sharpie half-stuffed into a ball of clay.

  Don't freak out & luk 4 me like a crazy person.
I know that u wanna see my beautiful face in the morning
but unfortunately I have a coupla things 2 do.
I'm goin home. I'll see u 2mrw.
— Julian

" You're disgusting. Corrupting other boys with your perverted ways" Mrs Kipling hissed when Julian walked out of the house, having successfully stuck the note to Wynter's cheek without waking him up.

" Sorry for the inconvenience. " Julian just smiled politely in reply. Over the years he discovered that being polite and kind is the best way to infuriate people who hate you. Others who witness these conversations would automatically take your side, admiring the fact that you haven't allowed yourself to explode in anger at the other person and preferred to be respectful towards them.

"Just stay away!" the woman with the ginger hair screeched.

" I mean I always do...You're the one who spends so much precious time in holding conversations with me. Anyway I'll see you later Mrs Kipling." Julian waved, getting into his car.

" Don't come back here again!"
" I'm sorry. I wish I could listen to you. But see unfortunately, it's a free country" he replied, sticking his head out of the window.

And then he drove off, leaving behind an angry woman who was still yelling profanities after he was gone.

Julian would try to make things right with his parents. He would tell them how he was feeling and why they should accept him for who he is. That he was still their son. The same Julian they had bought up with so much care.

And when his mom opened the front door for him, he smiled slightly, hopeful and wishful " Can we please talk?"

A/N:

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