It was almost nearing a month since Wynter had last been to the lake. He didn't miss it. He was actually happy. It felt nice to not have the voices in his head constantly. There were a few times he had let the voices in but they would always get interrupted. Most of the times the reason for these interruptions was Julian. He never let Wynter sit down and overthink. Whenever Julian was bored, he showed up on Wynter's doorstep at the most random hour. He either hung out and helped him around the house, played with Hayden and if Hayden wasn't home then he'd drag Wynter to a random diner he wanted to eat at.

Wynter had been to more diners in that whole month than in his whole life. But he liked it. He liked talking to someone and sharing his weird thoughts with them. He liked listening to their weird theories in return and ridiculing them for fun. He liked fighting over the most random things and making up over ice cream. The voices were barely there now and Wynter wondered if they wouldn't have been there in the first place if he had let someone help him before.

Now as he sat across Julian and Hayden in his kitchen, nibbling on the cookies both of them had tried to bake he didn't even think about the voices. Both of them were looking at him with expectant faces, waiting for his feedback. He had watched them for about an hour as they messed up the whole kitchen, searching for flour, eggs and sugar. It had been Julian's idea and as always Hayden had enthusiastically agreed and become his partner in crime.

" I think you put in salt instead of sugar but surprisingly it still tastes good" Wynter lied. It tasted horrible. Julian knew he was lying but it just amused him because he had let Hayden do most of the things, just occasionally helping her so that the kitchen wouldn't turn into a bomb blast site.

" Yay!" Hayden cheered, trying to reach for one of the cookies.

Catching Wynter's alarmed face, Julian realised it must have tasted much more horrible than he had expected and swung her up into his arms before she could pick up one " Let's get you cleaned up first okay?"
" But—"

" It's what everyone does. They wash their faces after cooking. Come on!"

Wynter watched as Julian let Hayden climb onto his shoulders before he took her up the stairs. She was rambling to him about how much she liked cookies but hated the Cookie Monster. It was kind of funny to watch Julian turn into a kid whenever he was around Hayden.

" Do you need help?" Julian asked walking into the kitchen a few minutes later.

Hayden was on the couch, searching for a movie to watch. She was leaning a lot towards action-thrillers which had surprised Julian for a second before he remembered that she lived with Wynter.

" Get outta my kitchen" Wynter mumbled, smiling when Julian bit into a cookie and then rushed to spit it out into the dustbin. He grabbed the nearest water bottle and gulped it down before letting himself look at the dark-haired boy.

" You were right. These are horrible. Hayden is going to suck at cooking. Like me" Julian predicted, leaning against the kitchen counter and watching Wynter move around in the kitchen.

" I'll have to teach you. If you cook for yourself, you'll probably die of food poisoning"

" Maybe. Yeah" Julian agreed, imagining himself die after eating French toast.

Wynter shook his head at the other boy and picked up the popcorns bowls " Come on"

Julian followed Wynter into the living room and plopped down next to Hayden.

" This is a zombie movie" she announced proudly, stuffing a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

Julian grinned widely " You're the best! Wynter you suck!" he said pointing a finger at the boy beside him, before grabbing a popcorn bowl.

Wynter snorted and nudged the green-eyed boy aside so that he could sit more comfortably " You wish I would"

When Julian's mind processed the other boy's words, his chewing slowed down and his eyes widened into the size of saucers. He felt blood rush up his cheeks and shoved the popcorn bowl into the other boy's hands and pressed his palms to his face.

" Da-da! You look like that in the morning when you wake up" Hayden grinned widely, pointing at a zombie on the screen making Julian burst out into loud laughter, immediately forgetting the awkwardness in the air.

Wynter thanked Hayden mentally for distracting Julian from the slip of his tongue. He hadn't meant to say it but he did. And he hadn't expected that reaction from the green eyed boy. Wynter had expected Julian to laugh it off or just shoot back another retort.

All three of them watched the movie in silence and comfort. Hayden was snuggled up in Julian's side and Wynter's legs were spread out towards the front, resting on the armchair. Eventually Hayden fell asleep and it was just Julian and Wynter. The movie played aimlessly in the background as they chatted away about the most unnecessary things in the world.

" Wynter, do you think I can survive a zombie apocalypse?" Julian asked randomly, reaching over to place the empty popcorn bowl on the table and picking up the one Wynter had abandoned about a minute back while arguing with Julian about whether sausages taste good if dipped in cheese.

" Yes definitely. They'd mistake you as one of their own" Wynter answered, attempting to rile up Julian to the point where his cheeks would be blood red and lips would be jutted out in an angry pout. Wynter liked watching Julian trying to prove a point. His expressions changed like they were reels in a film. It was beautiful to watch. Also there was this other thing that Julian did. He always clenched his jaw tightly and for some reason Wynter found that this particular action always made him smile.

" Did you forget the part where you look like a zombie in the morning?" Julian bit back, a ton of snarky-ness laced with his words.

" It's called being sleepy" Wynter informed him, snatching back the popcorn bowl as if it was a kind of payback for Julian's roast.

" I feel you," Julian whined, "I hate waking up in the morning. Like, I want to let my poor body rest for a bit more. It's too tired after portraying the definition of amazing, you know?"

" Narcissist" Wynter accused, playfully throwing a handful of popcorn at him, and then rolling his eyes when the green-eyed boy managed to catch a few in his mouth.

" This narcissist has many people pining after him. And I might even show pity and go out with one of them" Julian patted himself on the chest proudly, leaning back to stretch out an arm towards the TV remote that was lying beside Hayden so that he could switch it off.

" Oh yeah. Who?" Wynter demanded, his voice showing that he didn't believe one word Julian was spouting.

Julian wasn't lying but he suddenly realised that this was unnecessary. Talking about people who had a crush on him was unnecessary. So why was he talking about this to Wynter of all people? This was pointless.

Julian replied anyway " Alex Wells"

" Why him? He's such a dork" The dark-haired boy said, stretching his arms forward to free his muscles.

" Duh. That's why I'm okay with going out with him"

" Why don't you go out with...I don't know...Brendan? Or Frederic?" Wynter suggested, turning his head lazily to look at Julian.

Julian was frowning up at the ceiling " Do you want the short version of my answer or the long one?"

" The short one. I'm too sleepy to hear the long one" Wynter grunted, blinking rapidly to keep himself awake.

" Ok," Julian smiled, "Jingle Bells! Ryan Smells! Brendan talks a lot! Fred's a jerk but Al is a dork. So Alex all the way! Hey!"

Wynter stared at Julian for a minute, disbelief on his face too evident. So evident that Julian could understand his expression without having to search his face. But Wynter was already lost. His eyes traced over Julian's thick eyelashes and puddle of green eyes. He then looked away when he felt his palms starting to sweat. Wynter looked down at his wet palms for a second and then inhaled sharply. He regretted it immediately when the scent of Julian's cologne wafted into his nostrils.

" You're impossible"

These words became regular over the next few days. Everytime Julian managed to render the dark-haired boy speechless he'd be rewarded with three words accompanied by a slight smile " You are impossible"

And Julian would reply with a large grin " I know right?"

It was a fine Friday morning that things didn't go as planned. Julian was standing at Wynter's locker, waiting for the boy to arrive so that he could rant about how Ren had cheated him in Monopoly the night before and stole all his properties.

But even when the first bell had finished ringing, Wynter still hadn't showed up. And so Julian reluctantly walked off to class, pulling out his phone and texting the dark-haired boy on his way.

Julian: Hey...everything alright?
Julian: Ur not at school. So yea...
Julian: Jus checkin in :)
Julian: Aight. I'm headin to class.
Julian: Txt me back wen u can :(
Julian:Byeeeee T~T

About fifteen minutes of a drive away, Wynter was sitting huddled on his couch. Hayden's school bus had left about five minutes ago and he could now peacefully sleep and rest. He had woken up this morning with the worst headache ever. That might have had something to do with his dream but he didn't care. It was just his head making up things like always. He tried to convince himself that his head was just playing with him but the the fact that he kept on getting rewinds of his dream didn't exactly help.

The cold house, a drawer in the living room left open with things strewn around on the floor. Little Hayden crying loudly, the sound piercing through Wynter's soul like a pin through a sheet of paper. His hurried footsteps down the hallway, voice rising from the depths of his tight, suffocating chest and calling out for his mother. White light spilling through the half open bathroom door and then the sight of long dark hair sprawled out on the milk white tiles, hanging from the scalp of a pale woman who's eyelids were half pulled over dark-grey lifeless eyes.

All the warmth that was ever on her features was gone. The gentle rise and fall of her chest that would've indicated that she was alive was now absent. Wynter had stumbled back, his mind was shutting down. He remembered feeling like he couldn't breathe.

Pure madness had overtaken his instinct as he knelt next to his mother and shook her by her thin shoulders. He ignored the rational part of his mind, taking shaky breaths he continued to try and wake her up " Ma...why are you sleeping here? Stand up, I'll help you get to the couch. Hayden is crying. I think she's hungry. What do I do? Ma! Stop playing around. This isn't funny!"

Then he broke down. Tears streaming down his face, pattering like raindrops onto the face of Everly Black. But it wouldn't wake her up. She was going to sleep forever and nothing could bring her back to life.

Wynter vaguely remembers staggering towards the living room, his eyes blurred underneath tears. So much blurred that he had to hold onto the wall to walk straight. With trembling fingers he had picked up his mother's phone on the couch and dialled the emergency number. And then he remembered nothing.

He didn't remember crying and sobbing, while talking to the operator. He didn't remember watching the coroners come in. He didn't remember them lifting up his mother and putting her on the stretcher, checking for pulse or heartbeat. He didn't remember one of the officials patting his back sympathetically. He didn't remember screaming until his throat was sore.

But he remembered holding Hayden in his arms, waiting for his father to come home from the hospital. Hoping that by some miracle, his mom would come home with him. That she would be smiling that wide and happy smile and reach out to hug him. The smell of her talcum powder engulfing him.

Wynter snapped out of his memories when he felt his phone buzz against his thigh. He slid it out of his pocket gently and turned it on.

Julian: Hey...everything alright?
Julian: Ur not at school. So yea...
Julian: Jus checkin in :)
Julian: Aight. I'm headin to class.
Julian: Txt me back wen u can :(
Julian:Byeeeee T~T

Wynter's fingers hovered over the keyboard. What would he tell Julian? That he was sick? That the sickness was contagious so he shouldn't come over to care of him? Knowing him, the green-eyed boy would come over anyway. So Wynter settled for a simple text that wouldn't arouse any unnecessary questions.

Wynter: Hi

Julian texted back immediately.
Julian: Why aren't you at school?

Wynter: I just didn't feel like it 2day
Wynter:Aren't u in class? U shudnt b txting.

Julian: Dw. I've perfected the art of texting in class.
Julian: K maybe not. Listen...I got caught. Gtg.

Wynter was still smiling a minute later when he was pouring orange juice for himself. And he hated orange juice. The fact that they had run out of apple juice didn't bother him either. Although he didn't dwell too much about why his mood had lifted up abruptly, the answer was stored at the back of his mind, waiting for it to be filed under the category of denials.

Denial is the first step to acceptance they say......

Julian on the other hand was miserable. He couldn't text Wynter anymore and he was bored in class because he already knew all the theorems and Wynter wasn't there to pass notes to. He leaned back with crossed arms and a pout when someone behind him poked his shoulder " Hey"

Julian leaned back so that the person could whisper into his ear.
" I'm Reagan. You're Julian?"
" Yes and that's Jessica" Julian nodded, pointing at the girl sitting in front of him.

Reagan flicked the back of his head immediately " I know you're pissed because you can't text your boyfriend but if you act sassy with me I'll flick you real hard"

Julian turned around with a grin " I like you. Let's be besties"

Reagan shrugged " Okay...also can you set me up with Wynter Black? He's super cute!"

Julian stared at her with his eyebrows raised " That is who I was texting. I've already got my eyes in him. Sorry. Pick another and I'll help"

Reagan raised an eyebrow in return " Are you sure Wynter swings your way?"

" I'm not. I can only hope"

Reagan smiled " Good luck. I'll step back. But...he's already hurting enough. You know...the shit that went down with his mom and then his dad. Don't leave him with more baggage"

" About that besties offer?" Julian repeated, smiling at her in gratitude.

" Let's hit the diner down the road. I heard they have the best burgers in the world" Reagan suggested, sticking her pencil between her teeth.

" The continent actually...not the world" Julian corrected with a grin, suddenly remembering sitting in the diner across Wynter, munching on the burgers. Wynter looking at him with a slight smile while he dipped his French fries into his milkshake, letting out a laugh when Julian had made a disgusted face at him.

He was definitely not screwed. He was royally screwed and he didn't mind it. He wouldn't mind a heartbreak at the hands of Wynter Black. Julian shouldn't have let himself fall. And even if he wanted to stop, he couldn't. He was afraid it would only make him fall faster. And if he fell faster it would all be over faster but then he would break with the force. And if he broke, so would all the people who had ever trusted him with their baggage.

And so Julian decided to just let it be. Whatever was going to happen, he would accept it. Because if he fought then he'll be lost. And he'll never come back from the edge. He'll always stay there, balancing himself from toppling over the edge to the other side. And he didn't even know what awaited him there. He wasn't ready to face it and he won't ever be. That much he knew.

Wynter Black has been to the edge. Almost toppled over too. He managed to save himself with a little help. But Julian didn't want help. He hadn't wanted help even when he had been eight years old and had fallen off a monkey bar and hurt his knee. It had been bleeding and yet he had cycled home stubbornly, refusing help from other kids. And now at seventeen, he was more stubborn than before.

When someone helps you...you owe them. Julian hated it when he owed someone something. He had  stopped accepting help from people long ago. Although they had good intentions while helping him, their intentions always turned a little crooked when they asked him to return a favour. It is human nature after all and it is why they say: The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

And Julian thought....if trying to have good intentions and having bad intentions, both pave the way to hell then what paves the path to heaven?

Maybe Heaven doesn't have a pavement...Julian thought to himself with an amused laugh.

A/N:

It's a long chapter ain't it? Yep. It's an apology for the last one being so short. Please forgive me TwT

If you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to leave a vote behind! I love you all!

Now let me go cry over Destiel becoming Canon for the third time....and also I'm going to read some fix-it fanfics on AO3. Don't mind me...I woke up super early today and I feel energetic and I hate it.

On the bright side I got my new sweatshirts delivered by amazon this morning. I'm super happy cuz I don't have to wear them shirts without hoods. Like...ewww.

Keep on living xx