We're hurt and lost,
and we'll do it again
Because admitting defeat will only,
bring more pain.

And round and round we'll go
till the world does end,
and the light we saw
will be a dead end.

What Daniel had scribbled out were only his thoughts. Daniel Montaque didn't choose to write. Writing chose him. It was merely him projecting his inner and darkest thoughts onto paper without realising it. And the light we saw will be a dead end.

Daniel looked up from his journal, eyes flicking towards a dark-haired boy who was pretending to be annoyed at the green-eyed boy sitting opposite to him. They bickered for a few seconds, while their friends watched on in amusement. Julian was nudging Wynter's foot under the table, trying to get his attention. When he failed, he leaned forward and stole food off the other boy's plate. Wynter sat back and pushed the plate towards Julian, letting him finish the last of it.

Julian smiled sweetly and attempted to steal a quick kiss on the other boy's cheek and was rewarded with a fond smile. Wynter extended his hand over the table to hold Julian's. Julian's cheeks darkened into a light shade of scarlet as he finally went over to sit by the dark haired boy's side.

It was disgustingly cute to watch. Daniel smiled involuntary when Wynter laid his head on Julian's shoulder while staring into his green eyes with a small smile. They talked to each other in low whispers, fingers brushing against each other's slightly, knees bumping and arms grazing. Daniel wanted that one day.

" Fuck you Daniel! Why won't you go out with me?" Sammy dropped down in front of him, pouting.

" Sammy.... do you think I'm blind? I don't wanna get in between you and Aaron. I'm sorry." Daniel answered calmly, ignoring Aaron's curios gazes in their direction. Somehow Sammy was the only one who would never notices these glances.

Sammy whined while tugging at his arm " Daniel please? I'll help you buy that new PlayStation that's out"

"No offence," Daniel said shooting her a flat look, " But you're broke as hell"

" I know right? God! It's super unfair. How can the Dexter twins have everything?" she grumbled, biting into her sandwich. Mayonnaise oozed out of the edges and dripped down onto her plate. Daniel stiffened, grabbing at his water bottle to take a sip and try to divert his attention. How long had it been since he had eaten anything with mayonnaise in it? How long had it been since he had eaten anything?

" I—Sammy I have to go....I have something to—" Daniel started, without knowing how he would end the sentence.

Sammy bit her lip " I'm too annoying right? Don't lie. Maybe that's why Aaron doesn't like me back. I'm so insecure and I hate it. Shit...Daniel...what do I do? I feel like I'm seeking attention all the time. Oh god! Am I becoming like those cheerleaders? Oh wait—I am one. Dan what do I do? I feel horrible and—"

As much as Daniel liked to pretend and act that he wasn't interested, he couldn't lie to himself. He had a crush on Sammy and it was going to get larger and larger by the second. And he couldn't do anything about it. Out of pure impulse he stood up and leaned over the table, his bony and long fingers taking Sammy's face in his hands. He only had the time to register the confusion on her face before his lips slammed down onto her's. The kiss was short and rough and lasted only for a second, but it was enough. Enough to forever imprint the feel of her into his mind.

And when Sammy opened her eyes, Daniel was already racing past the tables towards the exit door. She watched him leave, running a hand down his face as he slid past people with ease, his backpack thumping against his back with each step.

" That wasn't a surprise. Half of us called it. Dammy has sailed" Julian sat down beside her, milkshake in hand.

She stared at him for a second " That ship name is horrible"

" We both know that's not your greatest concern" he said quietly, waving at Wynter as the other boy walked off to class.

" You're right. My greatest concern is global warming. I should really stop using plastic things"

" Sammy—"

" Where were you Julian? When Aaron went out with Eliza and I needed you?"

" Sammy you forget that I'm only one person. You have to realise that I'm a teenager with problems like every other student in this building" Julian's tone was soft but disappointed.

Sammy felt the feeling of guilt explode in her stomach " I'm sorry. I guess I'm too caught in my world to realise that others have problems too"

" Everyone is caught up in their own world. It's just how the world works....come here" Julian whispered, pulling her into a tight hug. She hugged him back with twice as much force, face pressed into the boy's shoulder as she tried to make her tears stay inside her eyes.

" Sammy," Aaron called from across the hall, " We've got Art. You coming?"

His tone was as cheerful as always and it made Sammy want to punch him in the face. Julian patted her back once and mumbled into her ear " Aaron's in a dark place. He doesn't want you to be there with him. Respect his wishes and choices."

" It's not easy" she sniffled in protest.

" It isn't supposed to be easy" he replied.

A few hours later Sammy was in the library, looking for Daniel. She loved Aaron and liked Daniel. Her feelings were a mess that she couldn't untangle. She couldn't have Aaron but she could have Daniel. She was tired of waiting for a boy who would never stop making her wait.

" I'm sorry....are you lost? Why are you in the library?" Aaron's voice whispered lowly, making Sammy jump a little and swivel around. In the process her hair whipped against his face making him hiss in pain.

" Gosh Sam! Try putting your hair up in a bun for once." He pouted, rubbing his cheek to chase away the sting.

" What do you want?" she whispered.

" Nothing. Why are you here?" he asked, putting down his pile of books on a nearby table.

" I'm looking for Daniel. Have you seen him?"

Aaron nodded with a wide smile " Yeah he's near the mystery thriller section. Dude is obsessed with spy stories"

Sammy snorted " I know. He's watched all the secret spy related movies in existence. Stupid idiot thought he could hide from me after kissing me like that...."

She walked off mumbling to herself, leaving behind a heartbroken boy. Aaron wiped a stray tear off with the sleeve of his shirt and forced a smile onto his face, hoping she'd find happiness.

" Daniel who the hell do you think you are? Kissing me like that and running away?" Sammy hissed sitting opposite to the boy with reading glasses perched on his nose.

" I gave you what you want. You made Aaron jealous. Mission accomplished. Go kiss him now and see how he reacts. I bet he'll start making out with you every time I'm around" Daniel answered in a low voice, very much aware of Aaron who was pretending to be searching for a book in the geography section. Aaron hated geography and he had always made it very clear to everyone by putting on headphones and sleeping in class.

" This isn't about Aaron. Everything isn't about him you know?"

" It is for you. Everything in the world is about Aaron freaking Dexter. You're in love with him and you're in so deep that you don't care about anyone else around you. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't deny it and he doesn't confirm it. It's like a friggin game and he wants you to read his mind. Now I don't know what shit he's going through but I can see he's hurting you without even knowing it and for some stupid reason every time you cry my heart feels like it's breaking into pieces. And I think I might be in love with you but I don't want to be because you're going to break my heart. So leave."

Sammy smiled a little and leaned over the table, holding Daniel's face between her hands "You talk a lot you know?"

" Don't kiss me if you don't really want me" he whispered, closing his eyes when her lips brushed against the corner of his mouth.

She pulled off his glasses and pressed her lips to his, imitating their kiss from before. Short and rough but enough.

She didn't see Aaron Dexter walk off, with tears streaming down his face. She didn't hear him blasting rock music in his car while driving off to the lake. And she wasn't there to rub his back while he let out a scream of pain at the horizon. Sammy wasn't there when he stared up at the sky, shoulders shaking and sobs rattling out of his body.

Aiden was there. His twin sat at his side, staring at the sun sinking into the water. Aaron's whole world had just evaporated. Sammy had been his whole world and she had finally realised he was no good for her. He wanted to be happy for her but he couldn't stop the tears that were still rolling down his cheeks.

When the sun had already disappeared beneath the horizon, Julian and Wynter were sitting on the hood of Julian's car, staring into the depths of the lake. Julian took a gulp of the Coke before handing it to Wynter who did the same. The silence was not comfortable. It was filled with tension. Each of the boys wanted to get lost in each other but neither of them knew if the other wanted it. But with Hayden shouting out lyrics to her latest favourite song, they had enough self control. Neither of them wanted to hear the Eww that kids let out when they saw people kissing, although Julian was about seventy percent sure that Hayden would be the kind of person to just shrug it off and go back to singing Taylor Swift songs.

But just to be sure that she wouldn't mind, he leaned over and pressed his lips to Wynter's. The other boy dropped the can in his hand automatically and shifted around to pull Julian closer by his shirt.

" Da-da? Why are you kissing Julian? Are you both boyfriends now?"

The little girl had been hunched over, watching the ants. Now she was blinking in her brother's direction, waiting for a proper answer. Wynter nodded slowly " Yeah. How do you feel about it?"

Hayden pulled her eyebrows together in confusion " Why would I have to feel anything about it? He's your boyfriend. You like him and that's okay. Also he brings ice cream. Da-da...marry him! It'll be awesome!"

Julian's grin was so wide that Wynter was afraid for the other boy's face muscles. The green eyed boy lifted Hayden into his arms and twirled her around. She giggled in delight, legs flapping in the air as she pretended to fly. Wynter only watched them with a quiet smile on his lips. He could imagine it. Coming home to Julian and Hayden watching one of their favourite zombie movies. Cooking in the kitchen while Julian unsuccessfully tried to help him. And he kept on imagining, even though the knowledge that none of it would come true was safely hidden in the back of his mind.

" Julian?" Wynter whispered. They were back home and it was well past nine o'clock in the night.

" Yeah?" The other boy whispered back, shifting to straddle Wynter around his hips. Julian placed his chin on the other boy's shoulder and closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of burnt sugar. Julian didn't know what he was doing. They were going too fast and he wasn't bothered by it. All he could think about was snuggling into Wynter, holding him and basking in his warmth, kissing him until his lips were tired.

" We should go on a date" Wynter muttered, pressing kisses onto the green-eyed boy's shoulder.

" We really should. Your backyard looks good enough. We can do stargazing and other shit. It'll be romantic" Julian smiled into Wynter's hair, fingers trailing up and down his spine.

" I hate stargazing..." Wynter started and when he caught the look on Julian's face the dark-haired boy scowled, " You knew that already didn't you? Ass"

" It's yours" Julian smiled suggestively and raised his eyebrows in question.

" You're impossible" Wynter laughed, pressing a quick kiss to Julian's lips. The green-eyed boy grinned, catching Wynter's lips between his own as he fell back onto the couch. Wynter leaned down, sliding a hand over his cheek and then kissing him again.

Julian let his eyes fall shut, hands rising to fist into the other boy's dark hair, pulling him downwards and closer as their lips moved together slowly. Julian lifted a leg, slinging it over the dark haired boy's hips and rising up to meet the force of Wynter's lips with his own.

" About your backyard....do you mind if I hang up fairy lights?" Julian asked breathily, gasping when they pulled away for air.

" I'll kill you slowly and painfully" Wynter warned jokingly.

" Okay. No fairy lights" Julian shrugged. When chapped lips crashed down on his again, he smiled and tightened his legs around Wynter's hips.

" Why my backyard?" Wynter mumbled a second later, busily pressing kisses up the skin of Julian's throat.

Julian ran his fingers through Wynter's dark hair, lips parting slightly when he felt teeth run over his Adam's apple. He breathed in deeply " I'm low-maintenance. I get impressed easily. You're lucky to have me, you know?"

" I know" Wynter replied, looking down at the boy who he would cherish for the rest of his life. Julian Sanders made him feel things that he hadn't ever felt in his life. And he had no intention of letting go of those feelings.

A/N:

Yes...poem in the start is written by me. And no ppl are not allowed to use it wherever they want unless they have my permission.

Alsooo long timmeeee. I'm almost done with my exams so I took out a bit time to publish this chapter. You're most welcome :)

Keep on livingxx