A/N:
Hey yall!!!

I know....I know you wanna know why Julian was crying. And you will...
Patience grasshoppers!

Also I have been receiving tremendous support from my readers. Your votes help me gain confidence to write more. And to everyone who has added this book to their reading lists, thankyou for liking and appreciating this story. I will eternally be grateful to you all for making me feel like my writing is worth something.

Feel free to point out plot mistakes or grammatical errors. Constructive criticism helps a lot.

Love you guys!!!
Keep on living xx

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Wynter didn't trust this Reagan girl. Sure, she had Julian wrapped around her finger but Wynter would never let his guard down around her. He was different from Julian. Wynter had met Reagan about three days back when Julian had video called him from the 'diner down the street'. She had waved at him with a small smile on her face as she munched on her cheeseburger. He had tried to be as polite as possible even though he could see that Julian was letting her drink his milkshakes. Mr. I love my two milkshakes and won't ever share....was letting her drink his milkshake.

Wynter knew that Julian had come out to him but he wasn't sure if Julian was gay or bisexual or pansexual even. Somehow he had forgotten to mention that. And unless Wynter knew for sure that Julian wasn't into girls, everyone who was allowed to drink Julian's milkshakes would be a threat to him. Why would they be a threat? He didn't know the answer to that...but if anyone did know then he'd gladly pick up their call and talk for hours.

" Wynter...me and Jules are gonna swing by the drive-in theatre tomorrow evening. Come along?" Reagan grinned.

The three were sitting on the bleachers, waiting for Ren to be done with track practice. Julian and Reagan had been chatting non-stop since the past ten minutes about a new movie that was going to come out and Julian had unsuccessfully been trying to get Wynter to join in their talks.

" Jules?" Wynter scowled at the nickname, shooting a glance at Julian who was looking at him blankly.
" Yeah. It's cute isn't it?" Reagan gushed leaning into Julian's side.

" Whatever" the dark-haired boy shrugged, looking away when Julian smiled down at her.

Julian frowned when Wynter stood up abruptly. He didn't even get a chance to talk to him before Wynter threw on his jacket and hurried away, practically jogging down the bleachers and back towards the school building.

" What's his deal?" Reagan asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Watching as Wynter ran a hand through his hair and pushed past a group of friends roughly.

" I don't know....I'll check on him. Reagan...why don't you ask Ren to give you a ride home?"

Reagan nodded with a pat on his back " Yeah. Now go before he disappears to god knows where"

Wynter pushed his way through a group of friends, ignoring their protests he walked towards the parking lot. A hand landed on his shoulder " Wynter"

Julian was breathless. He had run all the way from the bleachers to the parking lot in about eight seconds. He wondered if he could beat Ren in a race. That thought however was at the back of his mind. His currents thoughts were all related to the dark-haired boy standing in front of him.

Wynter had his arms crossed and eyebrows raised in question. " What?"

Julian held up a finger as if asking for a second, and then bent over clutching at his knees while taking deep breaths. When he straightened up, he threw an arm over Wynter's shoulder " Let's go"

" Go where?" Wynter asked, shrugging off the other boy's arm. Wynter was irritated and annoyed. Not at Julian and not at himself but at something. His feelings didn't make a whole lot of sense and it confused him. And that confusion further annoyed him. He felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach over and over. He half wanted there to be a bruise to remind him that there is a limit to what you can expect of people. He couldn't expect his father to become himself just the way he couldn't expect Julian to-

To what? His inner voice chided. Wynter pushed it off to the side and tried to concentrate on what Julian was saying.

" To pick up Hayden...duh. Were you thinking of abandoning your sister?" Julian demanded, the playfulness in his voice not helping Wynter think straight.

Was he just another patient to Julian? Another case to solve? Another poor, pathetic person to save?

" You let her call you Jules" Wynter said " Doesn't it remind you of a cat?"

Julian bit his lip, not sure how to answer that question " It does remind me of a cat. Just that..."

Julian trailed off. He couldn't tell Wynter the real reason why he wouldn't let him call him by a nickname. Julian liked to hear Wynter say his name. It didn't matter what tone he would use, whenever Wynter said his name it made butterflies erupt in his stomach. Julian hadn't believed in butterflies until he had experienced it himself. And he had afterwards regretted making fun of Ren when he had told him how every time he saw Ashlynn he felt butterflies in his stomach.

Wynter shook his head at Julian when he didn't answer. He walked faster making the other boy hurry to catch up with him " Look I don't know what I did to piss you off but Wynter....can you please not be like this?"

" I'm not being like anything"
" Yes you are. Wynter...."

" Julian? Can I...talk to you?" another voice interrupted.

Daniel Montaque was the boy's name. Julian immediately searched his head and remembered being there when the sleeves of Daniel's pale green sweatshirt had started to bloom with stripes of dark red. His cuts had opened up.

Wynter let out a long breath, shooting Julian a fake smile " I'll see you later"

Julian wanted to help Daniel...but he also wanted to go with Wynter. He didn't know which one needed him the most but he knew which one he had to make up to. When Wynter turned to walk away, Julian clutched at the dark-haired boy's elbow, stopping him from walking off " No...wait. Daniel...I'm busy right now. How do you feel about tomorrow? Lunch break? The bleachers?"

" I-okay."

Julian smiled in gratitude and stepped towards him, lifting up a hand to squeeze his shoulder comfortingly " Don't do anything rash or stupid Daniel. I'll see you tomorrow"

Daniel nodded, smiling back before turning and striding away.

" You seem to be postponing lots of therapy sessions these days" Wynter said, earning a little laugh from the green-eyed boy walking next to him.

" If I don't postpone them...I'll be late for my own therapy with Dr. Black"

Wynter cringed " No. Don't ever say that again. That sounds so horrible"

" That was the whole point!" Julian laughed, bumping his shoulder to the dark-haired boy's.

The same laugh was still echoing in Wynter's ears an hour later when Hayden was in the backseat telling Julian about how a kid in her class had tripped over her own wig because she was playing Rapunzel in the play. Julian's eyes were shining and his shoulders were shaking with laughter...until he looked at Wynter " Do you never laugh?"

" Da-da laughs while watching cartoons with me" Hayden informed proudly, crossing her arms.

" Really?" Julian muttered, glancing at his phone to check why his phone was pinging continuously.

Mum: Julian get home right now.
Mum: We need to talk
Mum: your dad is here too
Mum: It's important
Mum: It's about Father Adams.
Mum: Just get home.
Mum: We'll talk about this like a proper family
Mum: Please?
Mum: I love you.

" Hayden...how about you tell me the rest of it later? We're home. See?" Julian smiled, pulling up in front of a house that had become as familiar to him as his own.

" You're not coming in?" she pouted sadly, looking at Wynter for help. It was of no use since Wynter was too busy sticking his arm out of the window to flip off Mrs. Kipling who had come out of her house with what was supposedly holy water.

Julian shook his head " No...I really have to go. I'm sorry, love. I'll buy you ice cream next time, okay?"

" Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough!" Hayden demanded, holding out her pinky finger.

" Whatever you want" Julian promised, twisting in his seat to hook his finger through hers.

" I'll see you later?" Julian asked, when Wynter moved to step out of the car.

Wynter paused his movements and turned to look at Julian. When his eyes locked with the green ones he nodded quickly and whispered a Yeah before getting out of the car and shutting the door.

He didn't take a proper breath until Julian had driven off. Wynter had noticed how close his face had been to Julian's in the car when the other boy had asked him if he would see him later. Wynter could see every detail of his face. The thin and small scar on his cheekbone. The sunlight cutting through his eyelashes revealing dust particles in the air. Dark green eyes like shallow pool-like oasis in the middle of a desert.

Was Julian his oasis? Source of life in the middle of a dry, barren and lifeless desert?

Wynter knew that Julian was not as happy as he always pretended to be. He had major life problems. If only he'd let anyone help him. Wynter anyway couldn't help. Because he knew that he himself was broken and needed to fix himself.

Wynter didn't know how long that would take and he couldn't wait that long until he could help Julian. It made him wonder why he should have to fix himself. Why shouldn't he find peace in who he is now? As a changed person...

And then he thought...would Julian ever want him? Wynter looked into the mirror in his bedroom for a second and then let out a mix of a laugh and a scoff of disbelief. No. Never. Julian would never want him. All his life Julian had spent being the support to people like Wynter who had no idea what to do with their lives. He would soon grow tired of it. He would soon grow tired of Wynter and he would go away with false promises of returning. Wynter couldn't risk that. He didn't want his heart to break in the hands of Julian Sanders because after it happened he couldn't ever come back from the edge.

He'd be hanging by the finger tips, hoping someone would come save him. Wishing for things that are impossible. And so Wynter smiled at himself in the mirror. There was no happiness behind it, just a warning.

A warning unlike any other. It said- Don't fall. Don't fall. Don't fall.

But falling or not was never a choice for anyone. Whenever people said It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all, Wynter had filed them under the category of crazy. He preferred the saying: It is better to have never loved at all, than to have loved and lost.

He himself had never experienced the pain but even thinking of it made him feel like someone was punching his stomach continuously. Reality had to be more hurtful. And in that second Wynter decided that if he found himself falling for Julian, he would distance himself from him. Forever.

That plan however went straight out the window when four hours later, Julian showed up on his doorstep. Hands overloaded with ice cream cartons and that god forsaken smile on his face even though his eyes were swimming with tears.

Julian sniffled and then let out a half-laugh half-sob " Hey Wynter! How's it going? Want some ice cream?"

Wynter just stepped to the side, letting the green-eyed boy inside the house without any questions. He didn't even stop to flip off Mrs. Kipling and just shut the door, following after Julian.

Wynter leaned against the wall next to the kitchen, watching Julian stack the ice cream cartons into the refrigerator, pausing once in a while to wipe his face on the shoulder of his shirt. The cloth was now drenched but Julian didn't seem to mind.

" Hey...Julian...come with me" Wynter called, walking into his room and going through his drawers, searching for a sweatshirt that would fit the other boy.

Julian walked in after the dark-haired boy and stared at him blankly when he handed him a sweatshirt.

" Change. Your shirt is drenched in snot. It's actually kind of disgusting" Wynter answered Julian's silent question.

And a few minutes later when the both of them were sprawled out on the couch—Julian halfway through his ice cream tub—watching reruns of a show neither of them recognised, Julian glanced at the dark haired boy next him while stuffing the ice cream filled spoon in his mouth " Wynter, why? You're not asking me what happened..."

" Does it bother you?" Wynter asked, eyes still stuck on the screen frustrating the green eyed boy further more.

" It shouldn't bother me?"

" I don't know. What usually bothers you?" Wynter asked, leaning his head back on the couch, eyes finally swiveling to meet Julian's green ones.

" You not asking me anything about earlier...bothers me"

" Why?" Wynter asked.

" I don't know....because I was crying? And most people would have hugged me and sat me down and then ask me what was wrong..."

Wynter smirked, leaning forward to take the ice cream carton from Julian's hands " You wanted me to hug you?"

Julian glared annoyedly at the dark-haired boy who was now finishing up the rest of his ice cream " That's not the point. Just...why?"

" Because..." Wynter started, " If you wanted to tell me you already would have"
" What if I want to tell you but I'm just waiting for you to ask?"

Wynter smiled a little " You're impossible"

" Yeah you've mentioned that about a hundred times" Julian chuckled lowly, stretching his arms in the air to free his muscles.

" Okay. So tell me. What happened?"

" It's a long story" Julian warned, as if offering Wynter a way out.

" Do I look like I'm going on a vacation?" Wynter asked, letting out a long breath as he settled into a comfortable position waiting for Julian to start.

He knew what was happening. Julian was finally letting someone in. He was finally trusting someone with his problems. And that someone was him. When Wynter realised that, he couldn't fight the smile on his face.

" Are my problems that amusing?" Julian asked, grumpily snatching back the ice cream tub from the other boy's hands.

" No...just...you're finally sharing your problems and I'm happy about it because for once you don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders"

" That was the sappiest shit ever" Julian said, his smile totally in contrast to his rude tone.

" Well I do watch a lot of sappy shit...so you should've expected it" Wynter grinned.

" I can't expect anything from you. You, Wynter-whatever your middle name is-Black...have a habit of surprising me with the most random things ever"

" And you said I was being sappy," The dark-haired boy teased, " Also it's William...my middle name"

" Wynter William Black...." Julian muttered, staring up at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts. And all his thoughts were asking him- If you fall? Can you rise back up when it's over?

Julian didn't know if he would ever rise back up...but he knew he would be just underneath the surface, waiting for the sun to rise and guide him upwards so that he wouldn't drown.