Jeds pov

My eyes start to flutter open as I frantically sat up. I start hyperventilating and look around.  The machine thing started beeping as doctors and my family came. "Did they find him?!" I ask frantically "yes they did he in the next room." My mother said calmly grabbing my hand "I need to see him!" I yelled trying to get up but doctors put me back down ¨Sir you need to lie down a rest there is no need to open your wound again.¨ 

I yell out Castle's name.

Castle pov

I hear Jed call my name. My friend. injured. Stabbed. It all my fault too. I get snapped out of thoughts by an officer.

"can you tell us anything about the kidnapper?" The officer asks they sent to gather info on what happened 

I freeze but just breathe in and out. Keep it all in. Don't say anything if you want to live. 

 "No, I was blindfolded the entire time until he finally was done and threw me outside." I winced at the lie, fuck why do I keep protecting him? Why? WHY? wHy? This is my moment to get rid of him. Fucking wasted.

 The officer nodded writing everything I said down. They leave as I see my friend Kimora. A friend that been through everything with me.

"honey I heard the news are you OK?" She asks as she comes over to give me a hug 

"yeah I'm alright." I lied cracking a smile. No i'm not alright. if feels like i'm losing my mind,feels like dream all of time. I feel like i'm not safe, not worth it, not something someone would love. But he says you can live without me. So why isn't he dead yet? Why is he still breathing?

I rather be dead.