Chapter 5

"There's nothing really left to say, and I don't need you to explain, we don't need those lies. [...] I think we may have gone too far, we're losing sight of who we are, how do we get back? To a time when it was so easy, 'cause I need you, and you need me, oh, what happened to that?"

Left Alone by Sleeping With Sirens

Frank groaned into his arm for what felt like the millionth time in barely twenty minutes. Pete was seriously getting fed up.

"Dude, I don't know why I even fucking bother taking you out after your 'Oh, Gee and I broke up, I'm a princess and need to get a babysitter!' text if all you're gonna do is groan and moan,"

Pete crossed his arms angrily and slumped against his chair, irritated at his best friend. After the before-mentioned text from Frank, which wasn't exactly what Pete said, he kindly got out of bed at midday and put jeans on before dragging Frank to 'their' park.

Now, Pete knew what it felt like after a bad break-up, and especially after a bad break-up, how you felt like you couldn't get up of bed, like you were going to die alone and shit, but Frank was simply not cooperating.

Frank groaned again, his head lolled back against the bench with his hood over his head and his arm dramatically thrown over his eyes.

"That's it, either I'm leaving you or I'm punching you, there's no in between. What's it gonna be, Iero?"

"We broke up," The barely shorter one mumbled.

"Figures, fuckface. What happened?" Pete leaned forwards, placing his elbows on his knees and looking at his friend. Frank frowned and brought his knees to his chest, wrapping both arms around them and propping his chin on his right knee.

Even though he was beyond pissed at Gee- or Gerard - he was more heartbroken than mad, and he knew the red-haired beauty would never forgive him if he let the secret out.

Yeah, call him fucking stupid for still being attracted to Gee. Frank's frown deepened and he brought his thumb to his mouth, chewing on the nail.

"I can't tell you,"

And in that exact moment, he decided that the least Gee reserved was the right use of pronouns, and name. Because, you know, people give those to you for a fucking reason, not to ignore them and keep calling them the wrong fucking pronoun.

He, Gerard, was still the most perfect-looking human being that Frank had ever had the pleasure of laying eyes upon, but it wasn't his looks he fell in love with. It was Gerard. The way he made his heart beat faster with his kisses, no matter how many times he had tasted those lips.

He fell in love with the way Gerard swayed his hips, oblivious to the looks he was getting. He loved the way Gee's hand found his in the middle of the crowded hallways. He loved they shared the same likings and dislikes. He loved how they were so similar, yet so different.

He specifically loved the way Gerard would place kisses all over Frank's face when the latter sported a frown or a pout or a sad face to cheer him up.

Frank let his eyes close. He pictured Gee- Gerard. The man he had fallen for. Hard. It wasn't a feeling that would simply go away, and Frank knew that. Frank knew he had to do something about it. He was still very much in love with Gerard Way.

Damn, he thought. It must've taken a shit load of balls to dress in skirts every day. Not to mention a shit ton of indifference to not care what everyone else thought.

"You can't tell me?" Pete sighed exasperatedly. "What the fuck do you mean you can't tell me? I'm your best fucking friend,"

Frank really fucking needed to talk to someone about this. Or else he was going to explode. All cartoon-like, when the character's head just blows up and blood goes everywhere. Frank did not want that to happen.

There had to be another way to tell Pete, but not tell Pete.

Suddenly, it clicked.

"Okay, listen," Frank turned to Pete. "So, what if you were dating this super hot chick, but, she suddenly... Had a dick?"

Pete spluttered. "Gee has a what!?"

"I'm asking for a friend, um, yeah!" Frank spoke slowly, twiddling his thumbs. Pete continued to stare at his best friend dumbfounded.

"A dick,"

"A dick." Frank repeated. "A very, uh, masculine penis, a male sexual organ, a cock, you know-" He brought his hand to the side of his face in a fist, and pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, flicking his wrist to mimic a blowjob. Pete sighed.

"So, this... Friend of yours has been with a girl for a few weeks and then she suddenly pops out a dick? Dump her,"

That seemed like quite reasonable advice. But yet something, a something we all know too well, in Frank's brain didn't feel okay with the idea of simply dumping Gee. Were they even a thing anymore?

He had kicked Gee out of his house, but that was out of pure shock and rage. Frank hoped Gerard didn't hate him. Frank shifted uncomfortably on the wooden bench.

"But, what if my friend loved this girl? Do you think he could... Ignore the cock and just, stay a couple?"

Pete thought for a second, then shook his head. Pete Wentz may be stupid, but he wasn't a moron; he knew Frank was talking about himself and Gee from college. He did have a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that Gee from college was not a she, but a he.

Pete shook his head again, less determinedly.

"Nah, how can you ignore a dick when they want head? When you have sex? Nah, Iero, you're just gonna look down and you'll see this erection and- just, no. What you can do, though, is accept them, accept the fact that they are in fact a him, and not feel grossed out, because hey, if you love them, you love them, you shouldn't care about their gender, right?"

Frank slumped back against his seat. His head was simply a mess.

Did he still love Gerard? Yes.

Did he mind that Gee had a dick? A bit.

But then he remembered his mom's words all those times when he was a young kid and he was perhaps playing with his toys or even doodling away in a piece of paper.

Linda Iero would take his hand in hers and look down at him with that small smile, wrinkles dotted around her eyes, signs of happiness and laughter. Frank looked up to his mom a lot.

She would tell him how someday he would find the perfect guy or girl, how Frank would eventually fall in love and she'd be a grandmother, how she would accept him no matter what.

And even though seven-year-old Frank was all 'Ewww cooties!', a slightly older Frank in his teens began understanding what his mom meant.

Sexuality.

For around two to three years he wondered: "What if I'm gay?". There was never that 'one boy' who changed it all, or a moment when Frank noticed he stared at guys' junks for a little too long, because those never happened.

So eighteen-year-old Frank decided it couldn't be it; he was straight. He came out as a flaming heterosexual. Some of his friends laughed. His mom did too.

The word 'sexuality' hadn't appeared in his brain since then, but now... Now, after Gee revealing his actual gender, Frank couldn't' stop thinking about it.

He still loved Gee, he knew his family and friends would accept him regardless his sexuality, so what was he so afraid of? Another man's junk? He reckoned he had seen his own enough to not be scared of a dick.

Words slipped past Frank's lips before he realized he was talking.

"But I love him,"

"I know. What are you so afraid of?"

"I don't know. I love Gee, I still do, and... I guess I can- uh, I could cope with a second dick in between us." Frank smiled as he let the words out. He could give it a try. Though, when and if he got Gerard back, they'd have to establish that Frank was not going to bottom, because #FrankTops2k15.

Pete chuckled.

"Why are you being so goddamn difficult, Iero?"

"Well Gee has a fucking dick! It's not every single day someone just whips out a cock and- just, gah!" Frank screamed in frustration. He rubbed his hands over his face.

"Get your shit together, man. From a scale of one to ten, how much do you love Gee?"

Frank wasn't an alien, so he didn't hesitate. And yes I'm going to make this joke every single fucking time, deal with it.

"Twelve,"

"Thought so. Now, on the same scale, how scared of dicks are you?"

"I'm not scared of dicks; I've had one between my legs for my whole fucking life, Wentz,"

"Well God forgot your balls when he gave you a penis, midget. You've battled your fucking sexuality for two years before, why not come to terms with it instead of ignoring it?"

Frank guessed Pete was right. The idea that Gerard was a man didn't bother him as much after his talk with Pete. He really did love Gee, and he wasn't scared of some erection.

"I love him,"

"Stop repeating that and fucking do something, Iero!" Pete exclaimed, gesticulating with his hands thrown up in the air. He was really getting exasperated with his friend. "Because I swear to God if you don't get back with Gee I will,"

"How come you're not bothered by the idea of him having a dick?" Frank turned to Pete with narrowed eyes. The older of the two smirked and leaned forwards.

"Your mom's dick didn't stop me from fucking her,"

"Ha-ha, very funny. Still using lame-ass mom jokes? Step up your game, Wentz," Frank rolled his eyes and pulled his pack of cigarettes from his pocket, not bothering to offer Pete one and lit one for himself.

"Patrick has, or had a cock- I haven't seen him for like a year- and I still dated him," Pete commented casually.

"You dated a dude? How come you're telling me this now? I thought I was your best friend- Gah, you hurt my emotions, Peter," Frank dramatically laid a hand on his chest and gasped while he took a long drag from his cigarette.

"It was like high school,"

"We went together to high school,"

"Patrick Stump, the one from Science? Blonde hair, quite short, pale..." Pete trailed off, but Frank just looked at Pete with confusion, still not figuring out who they were talking about. "Soul voice?"

"Oh, yeah! Fedora and Velcro shoes, right?" Frank pointed out, and Pete nodded, a small smile playing at his lips. "You dated him? I thought- Oh... oh,"

"Yeah,"

"Hm. What was so good about Fedora-kid?"

"He gave great blowjobs." Pete grinned. "That's beside the point; let's not get carried away. Honestly, if I loved him so much, I would try to accept the fact that he is a he, but that's up to you, Iero, I can't tell you how to feel,"

"But are you gay or how do you define your sexuality?" Frank completely ignored Pete's statement and, being his curious self, continued on the topic of Pete dating a dude.

"I'm pansexual, which means I'm not limited in sexual choice with regard to nor biological sex, nor gender. Basically, I like everyone-Well, of course not everyone, but like girls, boys, non-binary, whatever the fuck, I don't care about their genitalia or gender,"

"Oh, that's cool, I guess. I thought there was only like gay, straight and bisexual,"

"That's because you're an ignorant fuck. It's 2015; you have demisexual, pansexual, bisexual, asexual, demiboy, agender, transgender, etc." Pete pointed out, extending one finger when mentioning each sexuality or gender identity.

"Jesus Christ. I'm not even gonna ask what those mean. I'll probably Google them tonight. What do you think I am?"

"I don't fucking know, Iero. You need to get your shit together first; do you or do you not want Gee back?" Frank sighed and dropped his cigarette to the ground, putting it out with the sole of his shoe.

"Peter Lewis Kingston?"

"Yeah, Franklin Anthony?"

"I like dudes. Or Gerard at least,"

"Congratu-fucking-lations, Iero. Now go get him, tiger,"

"Don't say that ever again, Wentz," Frank looked at Pete in all seriousness, as the latter raised his hands in surrender but smiled nonetheless.

--
i dont have anything to say today
well thats new. though if anyone wants to drop a suggestion for a new twitter @ that'd be lit

would anyone read a fantasy/supernatural frerard?

if anyone wants to talk or say hi my PM is always open btw :)

i am game of thrones trash
i send love and shitty smut,
xoblue