Chapter Twelve
Song: My Love Is Like A Star- Demi Lovato
Boyfriend
After I answered Lucas' offer, I went straight to where Aya's family are situated. Inabot ko sa oncologist niya ang chart at result ng mga laboratory tests niya.
"How are you feeling, Aya?" tanong ng oncologist sa kanya.
Napangiti ako habang pinapanood siyang mag-tago sa braso ng kapatid niya, parang natatakot pa ata sa oncologist. Archer chuckled. Inayos niya ang kapatid at inalis mula sa pagkakatago nito sa braso niya.
"He's asking you, Aya..." malumanay nitong sinabi.
"I'm... scared." Aya answered truthfully and started to look around.
Sinundan ko ng tingin ang mga tinitingnan niya. There are other pediatric patients here who are also receiving the same treatment. Ang iba mukhang matagal nang nag-che-chemo dahil parang komportable na sila dito. Ang iba kasama pa ang pamilya at nakikipaglaro pa dito.
Compared with Aya, she seems anxious and scared.
Ngumuso siya at humarap kay Archer, mukhang paiyak na. Archer looks taken a back because of that. Agad siyang napaayos ng sarili.
"What's wrong, Aya?"
Suminghap siya at nag-simula nang umiyak. "I want Daddy..."
Nakita ko kung paano bumagsak ang balikat ni Archer nang dahil doon. His mouth parted. He seemed lost for a moment. Para bang wala siyang ideya kung ano ang dapat gawin.
Seems like Aya got envious of the other kids inside the chemotherapy unit. They have their parents with them—both Mom and Dad. While Aya only got her Mom, brother, and her nanny.
"But we're here, Aya..." paglalambing naman ng Mommy niya.
Aya shakes her head. Kung hindi niya lang siguro pinipigilan umiyak, baka kanina pa siya sumabog dito.
"But I want D-Daddy!"
"He's busy-"
"I want Daddy!"
Aya's mother's mouth parted when she shouted. Si Archer naman nanatiling naka-squat sa harap ng kapatid, nakatitig lang. His jaw clenched.
"Alright. I-I'll call him. But I'm not sure-"
"Daddy! I want Daddy here!"
Aya's mother gave us an apologetic smile. Hindi masimulan ng oncologist ang treatment dahil nag-wawala pa ang bata. The nurse already showed us the dosage that they will give Aya. They just couldn't start because of the situation.
Gusto ko sanang tumulong para pakalmahin si Aya ngunit natigilan lang nang makita kong pumikit si Archer. Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga bago tingnan muli ang kapatid.
"He's not coming, Aya," He said nonchalantly. Aya gave him a questioning look. "Why are you still looking for him? Aren't we enough? I kept my promise to be here with you. What do you still want?"
Ngumuso si Aya. Nang hindi siya sumagot at nagpatuloy si Archer.
"We can't wait for him anymore, Aya. You need this treatment so you can get better soon. Ayaw mo ba no'n? Kapag gumaling ka... mas marami ka nang oras para makasama si... Dad." may halong pait sa kanyang boses.
Archer looked devastated. It's like he's just keeping himself together for the sake of his sister.
I have no idea about what's happening with his personal life but based on the scene that I have witnessed days ago; I feel like he is not in good terms with his father.
Was that the reason why he went to participate in an illegal underground fight?
Aya's mother joined in consoling her daughter and eventually got her to calm down. Tumayo naman si Archer at nagpakawala muli ng malalim na hininga.
Nakakaawa naman siya. Mukhang pagod pa siya galing sa trabaho. Sinikap niya pang makaabot dahil nangako nga siya kay Aya na sasamahan niya ito.
Nawala lang ang tingin ko sa kanya nang may iabot ang oncologist sa akin. Aya eventually calmed down after 10 minutes. Naka-upo na siya sa pwesto niya katabi ang chemotherapy pump niya. Archer sat beside her and held her hand.
"If you're scared just squeeze Kuya Archie's hand, okay?"
Aya nods her head slowly.
Sinulyapan ko naman si Lucas at napansing nakatingin na naman ulit siya sa kanyang wrist watch. Kanina ko pa iyan napapansin. May hinahabol ba siyang oras?
Napansin niya sigurong nakatingin ako kaya napabaling rin siya sa akin. He raised a brow.
"You know you can go if you still have some things to do. I can handle this." sabi ko.
He sighed. Bakas sa mukha niya na medyo hesitant siya. Nahihiya siguro na nag-volunteer ulit ako para sa kanya.
Hay naku, Lucas! Kahit gaano karami pang trabaho ang ibigay mo sa akin hindi ako magrereklamo! Basta galing sa'yo!
"Are you sure?" He asked, still a bit hesitant.
I nod my head and smiled reassuringly at him.
"I'm sure. Don't worry."
"I just forgot that I have a deadline due today. I'm sorry if I keep on passing the work down to you. Bawi ako sa susunod."
Hmm... anong klaseng bawi kaya 'yan?
"It's fine, Lucas. I mean, Dr. Kim. You can go and continue with what you need to do. I'll immediately update you about this case once it's finished."
Tumango si Lucas bago siya tuluyang umalis ng chemotherapy unit. Sinundan ko pa siya ng tingin hanggang sa mawala na siya ng tuluyan.
Pagbaling ko muli sa gawi nila Aya, agad ko namang nahagip ang tingin ni Archer. Ngumuso siya at nagkibit ng balikat bago mag-iwas ng tingin.
Kumunot ang noo ko. What was that?
The nurse started to prepare her IV line. Patuloy na pinapanood ni Aya ang mga nurse kahit na sinabihan na siya ng kapatid na 'wag nang tumingin para hindi siya matakot.
The pharmacy is still preparing her drug so I left to do some other things. May kasama naman silang nurse doon. Pagbalik ko, may nakapasak nang IV kay Ava. She was squeezing Archer's hand tightly as she is receiving her treatment.
"Wow! You're so brave, Aya!" puri ko sa kanya.
Napangiti pa siya at mukhang proud sa sarili. She scrunched her nose and giggled. A ghost smile appeared on Archer's lips. He caressed his sister's hand.
"You want me to shave my head, too? Para parehas tayo?" tanong ni Archer kay Aya.
I was taken a back with that. He is really willing to go through miles just to support his sister through this battle. Wala sa sarili akong napangiti nang marinig ko iyon.
Aya quickly shakes his head.
"No, Kuya Archie! Hindi bagay!"
"Paano mo nasabi? Have you seen me with no hair?"
"No! But... don't do that. I like your hair that way."
"Oh really?" natatawa niyang tinanong.
"Yes! Right, Dr. Felicity?" nabigla naman ako nang tawagin ako ni Aya. Hindi ko inasahan na mapapasama ako sa usapan ah? "Kuya already looks good with his hair, right? That's why he should not shave it because it's sayang!"
My mouth parted. Sinulyapan ko si Archer. His hair is combed to the side. But because of all the running he did a while ago; it became a bit disheveled.
"Yeah... yeah... I guess."
I chuckled lightly and pursed my lips. Nang sumulyap muli ako kay Archer ay nakita kong nakatingin na rin siya sa akin. May mapaglarong ngisi sa kanyang labi. He even made some 'tsk' sounds bago siya dismayadong umiling sa akin.
"I knew it." He mouthed.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang dahil doon. Knew what? That I really find him attractive? Oh, please!
Anong gusto niyang gawin ko? Tinanong ako ng bata. Alangan naman mag-sinungaling ako at maoffend ko pa siya! Nag-iingat lang ako 'no!
I pouted and looked at him ridiculously. Tumawa siya at binalik naman muli ang tingin kay Aya.
I was busy with all her paper works when Aya finished receiving her treatment. Nakikipagbiruan pa ang nurse sa kanya at may mga ipinakilala na mga batang nag-che-chemo rin katulad niya.
I smiled and moved my eyes back on the paper. Paminsan-minsan kong naririnig ang halakhak ni Aya, mukhang masaya na may nakuhang mga bagong kaibigan dito sa ospital.
Sabagay ang tagal na rin niya dito. It's a breath of fresh air to spend time with other kids. Sigurado akong nabuburyo na 'tong si Aya sa kwarto niya kaya siguro sobrang tuwang-tuwa siya ngayon.
Nang matapos na sa lahat ng kailangang gawin ay nagpaalam na siya sa mga bagong nakilalang kaibigan. They even promised to see each other next time. Aya said she's going to look forward to that.
I closed Aya's chart and walk towards them. Tinulungan ko ang nurse na igiya si Aya paupo ng wheelchair niya. Kausap ng oncologist ang Mommy niya tungkol sa magiging treatment plan at cycle ng chemotherapy ni Aya.
"Ako na po, Sir." presenta ng nanny ni Aya nang aakuin na sana muli ni Archer ang pagtutulak ng wheelchair.
Tumango si Archer at pinaubaya na iyon sakanya. We waited until the oncologist and Aya's mother finished talking. Nauna na akong maglakad para pagbuksan sila ng pinto. I held the door open for them and let them out first.
"You've been brave, Aya. I'm so proud of you." sabi ko habang padaan sila sa harap ko.
Aya giggled and cheerfully smiled at me.
"Thank you, Dr. Felicity!"
Kahit iyong nanny niya ay napangiti nalang din nang dahil sa alaga. I smiled at her in return. Palabas na sana si Archer nang matigilan lang nang tawagin siya ng Mommy ni Aya. Agad siyang lumingon doon.
"You should go home rest. We got this. I really appreciate you being here, Archer." anito.
Tipid lang na ngumiti si Archer. "It's nothing."
"Thank you so much, Archer. Malaking bagay para sa akin lalo na kay Aya itong suporta na binibigay mo. I just wish your father-"
"Let's not talk about him." He cut her off.
Napatikhim ng labi ang Mommy ni Aya bago ito tumango. Pinauna siya ni Archer na lumabas. Ngumiti rin siya sa akin at nagpasalamat.
"You're welcome."
Nang maramdaman kong padaan na sa harap ko si Archer ay mabilis kong inangat ang tingin sakanya.
"Hey." I called.
"Hey."
I don't know if he would want me to ask this but... we're friends now, right? I mean... I offered to be his companion whenever he has problems. And I think, he agreed to that.
He looked devastated when Aya was looking for their father. I'm just wondering about how he feels.
"Are you okay?" I asked, medyo nag-aalinlangan pa.
Sinabayan ko siya sa paglalakad. His forehead slightly creased. May hilaw na ngiti na gumuhit sa labi niya bago niya sagutin ang tanong ko.
"Of course. What made you ask?"
"Hmm... nothing. I just thought that you looked devastated when Aya is looking for your father."
He scoffs. "Napansin mo pa 'yun?"
Mayabang akong ngumisi sakanya.
"I'm kind of observant, you know?" I joked. "Want to talk about it?"
Umangat ang kilay niya. "Talk? You have time?"
Napaisip ako sa tanong niyang iyon. Oo nga naman. May oras nga ba ako? But my shift is ending soon so I guess... there's nothing more to do other than doing some endorsements.
I nod my head to answer his question.
"Want to grab some coffee?" Aya ko.
"No, it's fine. You seem busy. I don't want to disturb you."
"No. I have time!" I insisted.
Bumuka ang bibig niya. Hindi siguro makapaniwala sa pagiging mapumilit ko. I smiled at him.
"So... coffee?"
Sandali siyang nag-isip pero pumayag rin naman kalaunan.
"Alright."
We both decided to buy our coffees at the cafeteria since Archer really feels bad that he's taking some of my time. I keep on assuring him that it's nothing and I've got nothing else to do now.
Hingal na hingal ako nang makarating kami ng rooftop garden. I let out an exaggerated sigh once we've reached the top. Out of order kasi iyong elevator patungo dito sa rooftop garden kaya wala kaming choice kung hindi ang maghagdan.
Ingat na ingat pa ako sa paghawak ng kape ko dahil sayang kung matatapon lang. The cold breeze of the night sky immediately brushed against my skin. I looked around and saw some hospital staff spending their time here.
"Let's go here." Inaya ko siya patungo sa barandilya at sumandal doon.
The busy streets of Makati can be seen from up here. Bumuga ako ng malalim na hininga at saglit na pinikit ang mga mata. After a long and busy day, it's good to come up here to get some fresh air. Alam ko dito din madalas tumambay ang grupo ni Ate Margaux at Ate Brittany sa tuwing wala sila masyadong ginagawa.
"So," Archer started. "Do you usually hang around here?"
Nilingon ko siya. Bahagyang umangat ang gilid ng labi ko bago umiling.
"Ngayon nalang ulit," I said as I take a sip of my coffee. "Uhm... so, how do you feel now that Aya has received her first dose of chemotherapy?"
"To be honest, I'm quite nervous for her. She's still so young and yet she has to go through this. That's why I try my best to be there for her. I don't want her to think that she's alone."
Inalis niya ang tingin sa akin upang lingunin naman ang tanawin. Diretso lang ang tingin niya doon habang iniinom niya ang kanyang kape.
"Aya knows that for sure. You've been here with here every step of the way."
"Kaya nga napagkamalan mo akong Daddy niya 'di ba?" pang-aasar niya.
I rolled my eyes playfully at him. I chuckled.
"Malaki ang age gap niyo at medyo may pagkakapareha rin kayo base sa itsura. You can't blame me!"
"Bakit? Nasa itsura ko na ba ang pagiging tatay?" he smirked.
Inayos niya pa ang kanyang uniporme. He ran his hand through his hair before he raised a brow at me. A ghost smile appeared on his lips.
"Hmm... I don't know. Maybe?"
Humalakhak siya. I laughed along with him as I take another sip of my coffee.
"Ouch! Am I really supposed to be hurt with that?"
Hindi naman nawala ang ngiti niya sa kanyang labi. I kind of feel happy about that. At least his mood changed now. It's uneasy to see him look devastated.
"You're laughing now." I commented about his sudden change of mood.
Tinaasan niya akong muli ng kilay. "Huh?"
"Nothing. It's just that you look really devastated a while ago. I'm glad that you're kind of smiling now."
Ngumisi lang siya at nag-iwas ng tingin.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
He tried to convince me by nodding his head slowly.
"Of course. I try my best to be."
Tumango ako at inubos na ang kape ko. To be honest, it's really hard to keep this conversation with him. He seems careful and reserved. Parang ayaw niyang magpadalos-dalos kaya naman ay dinadahan-dahan ko nalang din ang pagtatanong ko.
I also don't want to force him to tell me what's wrong. I'm just here to offer him company because it seems like he's used to depending on himself when he has problems.
I personally think that it's good that we have someone whenever we have problems. Iyong mapapagsabihan mo ng lahat, mapapagkatiwalaan mo, at hindi ka huhusgahan. That way, our emotional baggage won't pile up inside.
Having a friend affects us in more ways than we realize. I don't intend to fix his problems for him. I just want him to feel that there's someone out there who's willing to listen to him.
Alam ko ang pakiramdam ng may problema. Ang hindi ko lang alam ay kung ano ang pakiramdam ng humarap ng problema nang mag-isa. I have my family and friends that I can always depend on whenever I have problems. I can't imagine myself facing all of it alone.
I don't know Archer that much but I just hope that there is someone there for him. Kung sakaling may girlfriend siya, pupwede niya namang sabihin doon kung ayaw niyang sabihin sa pamilya niya. Hindi naman mapapagkaila na mayroon nga siyang gano'n.
Sinundan ko siya ng tingin nang inalis niya ang sarili mula pagkakasandal sa barandilya. Nakita ko siyang umupo doon sa isang bench kaya sumunod ako. I sat beside him.
Nanatili lang akong tahimik habang inuubos itong kape na binili namin kanina. Sa gilid ng aking mga mata, nakita kong may kung ano siyang kinukuha mula sa kanyang bulsa. Pagilid ko siyang pinapanood.
He took out a stick from his pack of cigarettes. I uncomfortably looked away while he lights it. I put the cup of coffee down beside me. Humithit siya mula sa kanyang sigarilyo at binuga ang usok.
I pursed my lips. Dumaan sa harap ko iyong usok at sinubukan kong 'wag ipahalata na 'di ko nagustohan ang amoy noon.
Naramdaman ko ang pag-lingon niya sa akin. I innocently looked back at him.
"You don't like it?" he asks.
I chuckled awkwardly. "Yeah. I'm just not used to-"
Hindi ko pa natatapos ang sasabihin ko ay bigla na niyang pinatay ang sigarilyo niya. He puffed the smoke on his cup of coffee. Bumuka ang bibig ko.
"Oh, you can continue if that helps you ease yourself up." Bawi ko dahil bigla akong nahiya na nag-adjust siya para sa akin.
He gave me an assuring smile. "It's okay. It's makes you uncomfortable."
Bumuka ang bibig ko. Napakurap ako at nag-isip ng pupwedeng dahilan pero palagi nalang nabibitin ang sasabihin ko sa ere. Sa huli, nagpakawala nalang ako ng malalim na hininga.
"I'm sorry..." I mumbled.
"You don't like people who smokes?"
Inangat ko naman muli ang tingin sa kanya. "Hindi naman sa ganoon. I just don't like the idea of smoking. It's bad for your health, you know?"
Tumawa siya. "Are you trying to make me feel bad, doctor?"
"What?! No!" agap ko. "I mean, it's already given, right? Na may direct effect ang smoking sa katawan natin. But it's still up to you though. You can do whatever you want. But for me, it's not a good idea."
Ngumuso siya at tumango.
"Natuturn off ka ba sa gano'n?"
Nabigla ako sa tanong niya. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasan ang pamimilog ng mga mata ko. Hindi makapaniwala ko siyang tiningnan.
There's a glint of humor in his voice that's why I'm certain that he's just trying to make fun of this awkward situation.
"Huh? Bakit naman ako matu-turn off?"
"You don't like the idea of smoking. So, does that mean you also don't like a person who smokes?"
"No! It's not that! I mean, 'di naman porket ayaw ko sa ginagawa nila, ibig sabihin ayaw ko na rin dun sa tao. Malaya naman tayong gawin kung ano ang gusto natin. Plus, I'm not in the position to judge someone just because they smoke. Smoking just makes me feel uncomfortable, that's all."
Totoo naman iyong sinasabi ko. My cousins―when they were still teenagers―used to smoke, but not regularly. Siguro naimpluwensyahan ng mga kaibigan pero tumigil din naman kalaunan. But doesn't mean I don't like them anymore for it! It didn't make them less of a person and it didn't define who they are.
"So... does that mean that there's a chance that you might like me?" nakangisi niya pang tanong.
Bumuka ang bibig ko at hindi naiwasang matawa sa naging tanong niya. Hindi niya rin naman naiwasang matawa rin sa sinabi. He probably realized how ridiculous he sounds.
"What? Are you insane?" I asked, laughing.
"Why? You find me hot and attractive, right?"
I made a face and shake my head. "There you go again with that recording. Alam mo, kapag nakaisip lang talaga ako ng paraan para maalis ang recording na 'yun, gagawin ko na para lang tigilan mo na ako tungkol diyan!"
"Too bad. If Aya's condition gets better after this, she can go home. Paano mo na maaalis ang recording kung ganoon?"
At nang-asar pa nga!
Bumagsak ang balikat ko. I squinted my eyes at him like I was suspecting him of something. I pointed my index finger at his face.
"Hmm... baka siguro kapag nakauwi na si Aya, kunin mo sakanya 'yung bear na 'yon para gabi-gabi mong marinig ang recording na 'yon! Do you like that recording that much, Archer?"
I smirked back at him. Natigilan siya sa tanong ko na iyon. Umangat ang kilay niya at ako naman ang hindi makapaniwalang tiningnan ngayon. Natuwa pa ako sa sarili dahil finally! Nagkaroon din ng pang-bawi sa mga pang-aasar niya!
"What? That's ridiculous! Is that what you think of me?"
"Well, you keep on bringing that recording up when you have the chance! You probably liked it so much, don't you?"
"Tss," he rolled his eyes playfully at me. Tumawa ako at sumandal sa bench. "I'm just kidding. Ikaw naman masyado mong sineseryoso, e."
Mapang-asar akong ngumuso at nagkibit ng balikat, kunwari hindi parin naniniwala sa kanya. I looked up the sky and saw some stars shining bright down on us. May isa pang eroplano ang dumaan at sinundan ko ng tingin iyon.
"Where was your flight a while ago?" tanong ko. "You're still wearing your uniform so I guess, you came straight from work."
"Yeah. I went back and forth from Singapore. And I have another one later at dawn."
"Oh! So, you're a busy man."
Mayabang siyang nagkibit ng balikat. Mabuti at kahit ganoon ang schedule niya, sinikap niya parin na makahabol dito.
"Kung ganoon, dapat pala nagpapahinga ka na kung mayroon ka pang flight mamayang madaling araw."
"It's fine. I can take a rest in between my flight."
"Why? Is your destination far?"
"Yes. It's in Moscow and we'll have a 2-day layover before we fly back here."
I nod my head.
"If that's the case then... I'll look out for Aya on your behalf. I'll make sure that she's doing good as we wait for her recovery." I offered.
He turns to me. An amused smile appeared on his lips.
"Thanks. I would really appreciate that. It's good that she's seeing other people other than her mom and her nanny."
I smiled a bit and nod my head again. Tumingala naman akong muli sa langit at pinanood lang ang mga bituin sa taas.
Sandali kaming natahimik. Nagpatuloy lang ako sa panonood ng mga bituin. I suddenly found myself smiling while looking up the stars. It was such a peaceful night. Just enough to calm myself down after the rush that this day has given me.
Pagkatapos ng ilang sandaling katahimikan, nagsalita si Archer. Natigilan ako at agad na napalingon sa kanya nang dahil sa naging katanungan niya.
"Do you have a boyfriend, Felicity?"
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