Chapter 17: Sneaky (Hope's POV)

Twister was just fine. I had a feeling earlier than it was going to end up going wrong, I don't know why but that's what I thought would happen. Anyway, now we're heading to bed. We played a couple of games after that but we're all burned out for the night. 

Jonah grabbed my bag out of the pile still sitting by his couch and my hand. "Goodnight!" he called out while Vince and Willow walked by us, going into the other guest room. 

"Wait, my phone," I chuckled, pulling my hand out of his and running the couch, looking for it. I took it out of my pocket for twister, but now I don't know where I kept it. I want to find it before Blake comes back from the bathroom, bringing his blanket on the way. I feel kind of bad, I'm the reason he's sleeping on the couch. 

"Do you want me to wait for you?" Jonah called out. 

"No, I'll find it and come upstairs!" I replied, lifting cushions to look for it. I went into the kitchen, maybe I left it there. But nope. 

"Boo." 

I looked up, rolling my eyes. "Did you take my phone?" I asked, turning to face him. 

"Maybe," he smirked. 

"Blake, give it back." 

"No," he chuckled. 

"Please, I have to go upstairs and I need to call my dad, make sure he got home." 

"I'll call your dad," he shrugged, taking my phone out of the pocket of his sweatpants. "What's your passcode again?" he asked. 

"I'm not telling you," I huffed, reaching for it but he lifted his arm up over his head and there's no way I'm getting that. "Blake, come on I-" I grabbed onto his shirt when he pulled me forward from mine, causing me to crash into him. 

He sighed in defeat, placing it in my hands. "Your boyfriend is waiting for you." I looked up at him, easily noticing the agitation and somewhat disappointment in his eyes. 

"Night, Asshole," I mumbled. 

"Night, Princess," he said, letting go of me. I was on the stairs when he called me. "Hope!" I turned around to face him. He held a Snickers bar before tossing it to me. I managed to catch it but I was confused. "Go give it to your boyfriend so he knows that you know his favorite chocolate," he rolled his eyes, turning off the kitchen light and going into the living room. 

I smiled to myself, jogging upstairs and opening Jonah's door. He was changing but he wasn't naked. Just shirtless. "Sorry, I didn't knock," I said, walking over anyway. 

"It's okay," he chuckled. "Find your phone?" 

"Yeah," I held it up. "And I found something for you." 

"Oh?" He raised his brows in question. I handed him the Snickers. He grinned, "And who told you these were my favorite?" He grabbed my hand, pulling me closer. 

"A little birdy," I smiled. 

"Well, I appreciate the Snickers," he chuckled before kissing me. My phone started ringing in my hand and he groaned, pulling away. 

I looked down at my screen. "It's my dad, sorry," I shrugged. 

"That's okay. I put your bag in the guest room for you," he informed. 

"Goodnight." 

"Night." He pecked my lips quickly. 

I answered the phone while walking out of his room. "Hey, dad," I sang. 

"Where are you?" 

"I left you a note," I frowned in confusion, "I'm at Jonah's." 

"Yeah, you left me a note... with cookie crumbs all over it." 

"I was eating cookies," I laughed. 

"No shit, honey. You have a good time, okay?" he laughed. 

"Bye dad," I smiled. 

"Bye." 

I hung up and then went into the bathroom where I changed, splashed some water on my face, and then brushed my teeth. I came back out to the room and was mumbling something to myself when I choked on air. Anyone else? No? Just me? 

Once I caught my breath, I decided to go downstairs to grab water. "Oh God," I groaned, rubbing my throat. I opened the door and ran downstairs, straight into the kitchen. I opened the cabinet and grabbed a glass, filling it with tap water and downing it. I coughed lightly, refilling the glass. 

"Hope?" Blake called out. I was too distracted to respond so I just continued to drink more water. He came into the kitchen minutes later with his hair sticking up in all sorts of directions. "You scared the hell out of me, what's wrong with you?" 

"I choked," I said, leaning against the counter. Is it just me that gets a panic attack every time I choke, thinking I'm about to die cause I can't breathe? He sighed in somewhat relief, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Go back to sleep," I said, rinsing out the glass and putting it back. 

"I wasn't sleeping," he replied. 

"Then what were you doing?" 

He remained silent for a beat, then another, and another. "Thinking." 

"About?" 

"My dad," he huffed. 

I shook my head at him, "Don't. Thinking about him has never gotten you anywhere and it only makes you angry." 

"You're right, but I still think about him, I can't help it." 

"I know," I said softly. 

"I just don't get why he left. I don't know what we did wrong," he shrugged, leaning against the island countertop. 

"Nothing, Blake. You, your sister, your mom... none of you did anything wrong. He was just messed up, okay?" He looked up at me, lifting his gaze from the floor. "Don't think about it." I blinked at him. 

"Hope," he sighed, "Why does he get to have you?" 

"What?" I asked in confusion. 

"Jonah. Why him? Why not me?" 

"Blake-" 

"What makes him better than me?" 

"Blake, nothing makes-" 

"Why are you choosing him?" 

"I-"

"Do you really hate me that much because I didn't reach out to you?" 

"No, Blake. I don't-" 

"I don't get it," he scoffed. "It's never been me. For anybody. Has it?" 

"Blake," I said, stepping closer to him. 

He's looking straight at the ground and it doesn't take a genius to tell he's really upset and maybe even crying. "I've never been enough," he shook his head, sniffling softly. I grabbed his hoodie, pulling him forward and throwing my arms around him. He wrapped his arms around my waist almost immediately and hugged me back. 

"You are enough, you are so much more than that. Blake, you've got everything," I whispered. 

"Why don't I have you?" he mumbled. 

I don't know what to say to him. I know in my heart that this situation isn't going to end well. But I know I can't let go of Blake, but leaving Jonah will crush him and I don't want to put their friendship on the line with it. He and Blake became friends while I was gone, I can't be the girl that comes in out of nowhere and ruins everything. 

"Why don't I get to have you?" He pulled back and looked down at me. 

"You do have me, Blake. Just not in that way," I whispered. "I'm your friend, I'll be there whenever you need me. But I can't be with you like that." 

"Why?" 

Why? 

"Because I'm dating Jonah." 

"Why? Do you not have feelings for me, Hope? Did you ever?" he scoffed.

"Of course, I did. But things are different now, Blake. I met Jonah first when I came back, I didn't know you two were friends, I didn't even think I was gonna see you again until school. I really wish he wasn't your friend, but because he is I can't do that to him or your friendship." 

"But you can do it to me? Pick my best friend over me?" 

"Don't make me choose, please." 

"Hope, you can't share people. When you're with someone, you have to be all in. Completely theirs and..." he took in a deep breath. "I just don't see that with you and Jonah. You're with him but are you really?" 

"I am, Blake." I took a step back. "I'm trying to know him, it's gonna take time." 

He sighed, "So, you're just gonna... stay with him. And I have to see it and put up with it every day? I have to be reminded that you chose him?" 

I try so hard to not give Jonah chances to kiss me in front of Blake, but he's not blind and Jonah doesn't just sit there. He always wants to hug, kiss, cuddle, sweet talk. There's no way I can expect Blake to just ignore it all. Not if he has feelings for me the way he's making me think he does. 

"Hope, listen to me." There was a change in his voice. It got more stern, angrier, frustrated. I kept staring at my feet. He grabbed my shirt, yanking me forward, gripping my waist to steady me. "Listen to me." I looked up at him, trying to get his hands off of me but his grasp was too tight. "You can't do that, okay? You can't be sneaky." 

"Sneaky?" I asked, slightly hurt and offended. 

"You can't have both." 

"I'm not asking to." 

"Then stay away from me, please. Because if I lose my shit and I decide that ruining my friendship with him is worth it if it means I get to have you, then I'll fucking do it. Cause I've known you my whole life and I've known him just two years. I've known him for two years, but I've wanted you for so much longer." I sighed, placing my hands on his chest and slowly pulling away. 

"Don't do it, Blake. It'll ruin everything," I whispered.

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Chapter 17

If someone tells me that Blake is wrong rn, I'm gonna freaking slap you. this guy has been in love with her for his whole life and she's w his best friend but she's stringing him along too. nobody blames my baby, Blake.

next chapter: promised