Lloyds POV

Trigger warning self harm !

it was 4:30 am so I have 15 minutes until training starts the edge of the kitchen knife still poking out from under my bed as if calling out to me. No you are stronger than this I tell myself but I couldn't resist. The blood was everywhere but I kept going just one more.  My blood was in my clothes, my bed everywhere. I hadn't got time got time to properly clean up so I wrapped my wrists up in a bandage and walked outside to the training area where everyone has already began. I could feel kai's eyes on me. Most likely judging me for crying last night I know he will have questions but I don't want to give the answers so I train and pretend I can't see him.

 "Hey Lloyd what's on your wrist...." It was Kai I glanced down at my wrist dark blood seeping through the green gi. Shit. What do I say um.... a dang it why am I such an idiot I think to myself. "Oh it nothing I'll go and change" I stutter and run in to my room slamming the door behind me. Uhhhhh how could I be so so so stupid I just had to tie that bandage a little tighter and it would all be fine. 

Kai's POV 

What the fuck was going on with Lloyd why was there blood coming out his gi that's not normal. I think I know what's going on the knife his room and just the way he has been acting lately but no it can't be I won't except it not my brother I would die for him and I would kill anyone who layer a finger on him but it's him who's hurting himself what do I do. 

 The others haven't noticed (in their defence it is way to early in the morning to be called morning no human should ever have to see the world at this time) so I run after Lloyd and head straight to his room and try to open the door but it is locked shut. "Lloyd" I call desperation seeping through my voice "just open the door" I was mumbling \ praying that he would, " Lloyd it's me Kai let me in buddy" I said praying he was ok. " go away kai " he said I could hear he had been crying from his voice and my heart broke a little bit more. "Lloyd please don't shut me out let me in please Lloyd I'm begging you just open the dam door" I shouted before whispering the last part "I need you ok just open the door". The door slowly spread open and I walked into his room he was curled up in a ball on the floor tears stained on his face. "Lloyd let... Let me see your wrists" I said still in a quiet whisper trying to stop my voice from shaking I didn't want him to see me cry cause he needed me right now more than I needed him and from now on I was gonna be here. 

He didn't say anything just latched on to me and cried his big green eyes out and all I could do was hold him tight until he didn't need me but until then I wasn't gonna let go. 

I knew. 

I knew the truth. I had failed to see what was right in front of me and now my little brother was paying the price. "I'm I'm so so sorry Lloyd " I said and we stayed like that for over an hour.

What do you guys think is it to fast paced rubbish I need opions also his do I get harumi here. Anyway ily guys sm thx💚💚