Chapter 32

"What is all of this?" I laughed, wrapping my arm around Carly's shoulders as we walked in through the doors of school.

"Nice." I heard Brian laugh from behind us.

There were posters up all around the athletic hallway, each football player had a poster with their number on it and messages written on it from the cheer leaders.

There was a big poster that said 'Go Hawks!' and the school colors were everywhere.

"It's just everybody cheering on our amazing football team." Carly grinned, looking up at me.

"Cool." I grinned, pulling my girlfriend closer to me. "You'll wear my jersey on Saturday right? All the guys are making their girlfriends do it."

"You better wash it." Carly grimaced.

"Of course." I laughed. "Hannah and Jess are coming in with the guys on Thursday so you'll be able to hang out with them during the game. But you gotta take grandma too."

"Okay, Matt Saracen." Carly winked.

"Oh please don't compare me to that idiot." I groaned, shaking my head.

"Whatever." Carly laughed. "But where is everybody staying?"

"Uh, Dane is staying with me and Brian, and I think Hannah and Jess are staying at our place too, and then Nick and Austin are staying at Hanks." I told her.

Carly's eyes filled with jealousy.

"Hannah is staying at your house?" Carly asked quietly.

"Yea in the basement with Dane. They're together now or whatever. There's nothing to be jealous about." I rolled my eyes. "Besides, she could sleep in my bed naked and I wouldn't do anything because I've got a beautiful fiancé who is carrying my child." I reassured her.

Carly stuck her tongue out at me, bumping my hip with hers.

I instantly winced, my hand flying down to my side as pain shot through it.

"Jason." Carly frowned. "Shit I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. This idiot still hasn't told coach that his hip freaken dislocated two days ago." Brian said, forcefully slamming his hands down on my shoulders.

I winced again.

"Your hip dislocated? What are you, a grandpa?" Carly teased.

I glared at her.

"Not funny." I shook my head.

"No you see in our sophomore year, this idiot tries to do a flip off of the diving board, lands on the side of the pool, and tears a few ligaments in his hip." Brian said. "He got surgery but was playing on it a month later. Ever since then, it likes to pop out of place every once in a while and when it does, little old Jason is supposed to ice it, rest it for a week, and go see the doctor."

"It's states." I hissed. "I can't sit out for a week!"

"You're going to get hurt."

"If I sit out then my season is over." I shoved him off of me.

"Jason if it's what you're supposed to-"

"Oh my gosh you people are pissing me off just leave me alone thanks." I hissed, walking away from both of them.

I'd had enough of the shit I was getting everywhere.

I was under so much damn pressure right now it was unbelievable.

At first, I missed the recognition Brian and I got for football in Texas. I missed everyone knowing my name after a game on Friday night.

But now I was the quarterback who'd taken a shitty team all the way to states. And everywhere I went I got the annoying ass comments of people asking me if I was ready to win.

Like no shit, asshole, that's basically what my life is consumed of right now.

And then there was Carly... Oh my Gosh now that was ready to kill me.

She was almost four months along now, and just starting to show. We'd already had two doctors appointments. The information thrown at us was unbelievable.

And I'd reached the point that it was literally keeping me up at night.

There's no way I could expect Carly to give up her plans of going to college at Georgetown, but she was right. How could we raise a kid from two different states? And how could I give up my lifetime dream of playing college ball?

And then there was the money issue. My dad doesn't have a massive bank account and Carly's got no living relatives.

It was Thursday night, the night before states, that everything really hit me.

I sat up straight in bed at like three in the morning, sweating profusely from yet another dream where I turned out to be an awful father.

Let's just say we do both end up in Texas, how the hell would that work out? Where would we live? Certainly not the dorms, we'd have a damn kid. How would we pay for everything? The furniture? An apartment? Baby clothes? Diapers? Medical bills for when Carly has the baby? How much do baby vaccines cost? And doctors appointments?

Not to mention the school aspect of it... How would we be able to have classes and practices and simultaneously care for a newborn?

I'd have to get a job, but then I wouldn't have time for everything.

I'd be jam packed with classes, practices, work, and a baby. I wouldn't have time for Carly...

So at three in the morning, I sat in the kitchen with my head in my hands, trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do.

This should be ten years down the road.

Marriage and children should come when I'm in my 20s, not when I'm supposed to be playing in one of the most important football games of my life in 12 damn hours.

Was this a mistake? Was Carly a mistake?

I thought back to that night in Texas... Did we use protection?

I couldn't even remember...

I know I'd left the game and driven off to the cemetery, and I know that I'd had a lot to drink, and had it not been a game night, I definitely would've gotten pulled over. And even Henry isn't a nice enough cop to let you off the hook for how much I'd been drinking. But then I got into the fight with Kent, and then Carly punched him, and holy shit that turned me on.

I couldn't remember if we'd used protection, hell I didn't even know if she was on the pill.

I groaned, pushing my hair back from my face.

What kind of ass hole was too drunk to remember the night he took his girlfriend's virginity.

I was going to be an awful father.

Holy shit I was going to be the worst...

I had to stop drinking. I couldn't carry on like that.

What if I was drunk one night and my kid was sick?

I really had to change if I wanted to be a good father.

Hell I've never even had a job before in my life... Sure Carly's had jobs but I can't expect her to work, I'm the man of the house.

And oh my gosh what about college? What am I going to major in?

If we plan on having more kids, I need a well paying job, like a doctor or some shit like that.

But then there's pro football, and if everything goes as planned, I'll be playing that.

But I need a job. And a major.

I felt my chest grow tight as I sat up straight in my chair.

Where the hell was my life going?

How the hell did I end up like this?

Where did I go wrong to end up with a pregnant girlfriend and no damn future when I'm only 18?

My mom would be so disappointed in me...

I stood up from the kitchen table, pushing my hair back from my face.

I had to get out of here.

I had no idea where I was going, but I just had to get out.