Shawnie's POV

After I got ready for my day, I decided I wasn't gonna tell anybody where I was going and I was just going to leave. I went over to my friend's house because I didn't want to be at home and after some thought, I felt that maybe it is best that I decided to go the other way. Maybe my friend who has been super patient with me and very understanding of my situation, is what I need right now. I need a friend and that's exactly what he is to me.

I pulled up to his house and rang the doorbell.

The door opens and I'm met with his smiling face.

"Hey! I didn't know you were coming by." He says

"I didn't know I was coming by either, but I was in the neighborhood." We both laughed because we live in the same neighborhood.

"Come in. I was getting my bag ready." He turns and starts walking away.

I step in and close the door behind me and I follow him into his kitchen.

"I can come back, I don't wanna hold you up..." I say

"No, you're not holding me up. What's up? I saw pictures of your shirtless bodyguard. What was that about?"

"It's a long story. Tell you later." I say

"So what is your fine ass doing popping up at my house?" He says, grabbing a couple of things out of the refrigerator then pulling powder out of the cabinet. He was making a protein shake.

"To be honest with you, I was just a little irritated with my situation that's going on at home and I just needed to get away."

"Aight, cool. How long are you staying?" He asks

"I don't know, I just needed a break. What do you have going on today? Do you wanna do something?" I ask, sitting at the island.

"I would love nothing but to spend some time with you. That sounds so good to me right now, but yeah, I got some pretty important things to do. The season is starting soon and I need to be ready. Team stuff. Practice and meetings..." he explains.

"Yeah, I understand that."

"But, it would be nice if I came home and you were still here." He smiles

"Do you want me to be here when you get back?"

"I would love that." He says

"Okay. Well, I guess I'll be here then."

He goes over to one of the end drawers and pulls out some keys. He tosses them over to me. I catch and look at them.

"What are these?"

"Keys to the house." He says. "If you decide to leave, you can get back in."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I trust you." He says. "......Speaking of the season, do you think you can make it to the season opener?"

"....um, I don't know. You know that's me openly supporting you...publicly..."

He laughs. "I know, that's why I'm asking if you can make it. It doesn't have to be anything more than you coming to see the game. That doesn't mean we're in a relationship or anything. I just want you to be there, and any other game you can make it to during the season."

"That's asking a lot." I say. "That's relationship shit to me."

"Maybe you should start looking at us that way. No pressure, and I hope that doesn't scare you away but my patience is wearing thin. Not because I'm tired of this but because I want to be with you, and I want to be with you publicly... I want to take you out. I want to express my love for you. I'm tired of holding back."

"Hold on. Love?"

"Yes. You know I have love for you. Being together publicly doesn't mean we're in a relationship. I just want to take you on dates and enjoy your company."

"....." I began to feel my body temp rising. I smile to try to hide what I'm feeling. "This conversation kinda freaks me out and makes me emotional."

"Why?"

"I feel like I want to cry. This is a lot." I say

He walks over and hugs me. "I'm sorry. I see you're not ready for this. I shouldn't have said anything. Forget I brought it up. I'm truly sorry."

"It just brings up so much anxiety."

"I know. I'm sorry." He says. "....I didn't mean to throw this at you like this and leave you but I really have to go. I don't want to be late."

"It's okay." We let go of the hug.

"You can call me and we can talk while I'm driving."

"It's okay. Just go. I'll be okay." I say. He gave me a hug and kiss and left for the day.

I snapped a picture of him when he was walking to his car without him noticing and posted it to my IG.

No caption needed.

I sat in the kitchen for a few minutes. I was just taking in the silence. That was a lot. I feel bad because now I feel like I'm playing with his feelings. I'm not trying to do that. I just wanted us to connect. I like him a lot but I'm LOCKED in with Joe. Nothing can or will come of this and I think it's time I really relay that to him.

I sat there for thirty minutes just thinking. Joe ran across my mind a couple of times, and I just tried to bury that thought. I don't know what it is about Joe but I really feel like I would do anything for him and it's not like Aubrey, because at one point I did kind of feel like I would, but this is different. The whole situation with Joe is different overall. I'm not obsessed and he's not obsessed with me, like Aubrey. We don't have this codependency relationship where we feed off of each other's negativity like Chris and I did. It's natural to me.

Maybe I overreacted and this was my impulsive decision coming over here. I do like this guy, and to be honest, he seems like the more safe choice. But I also thought Aubrey was the safer choice as well. I'm scared Joe and I could be done. I'm so into Joe but I don't think he is into me how I am. I don't know. He's really trying with me and I love how he's giving me the time to sort everything out but I'm scared that my judgment is off again.

Chris popped up in my head and I think it's time for round two because I didn't get out everything I had to say since Joe hung up the phone. I need to get some shit off my chest.

I took my phone out of my pocket and called him.

"You gonna hang up on me again?" He answers

"You lied to me. You told me you weren't trying to get back with her." Yeah I'm back on this because it bothers me and I don't know why.

"What are you talking about?" He asks

"I got a random text message from a random number talking about you guys getting back together."

"Me and Ammika?" He asks

"Yup."

"Listen, we had a conversation about it and I entertained it." He says

"What about you and Jasmine?"

"You know things have been rocky with us. I really tried, but it ain't working out. I haven't talked to her in weeks."

"So, instead of finding somebody new, you're just trying to recycle the same bitches?" I say

"Well, I've been leaving my options open hoping you would come back, but I see that's not gonna happen." He says

"What does that have to do with what I just said?"

"I'm entertaining it." He says

"Is she at your house?"

"She was here..."

"She was there when my daughter was there? Didn't we talk about this? I told you I didn't want her around my daughter until she spoke to me."

"I get that, but she kind of just popped up."

"BRING MY DAUGHTER HOME." I yell. "I trusted you."

"Yeah...just like I have to deal with you having her around random people. You have to deal with this too." He says and I take it as disrespect.

"But I've never had her around anyone, only Aubrey and Joe. My husband, and my bodyguard. I never had her around random men and you know that."

"I'm sorry." He says. "But I gotta tell you like I told her when she didn't want Aeko around you, that's something y'all gonna have to get over. If I start dating her then what are you gonna do?"

"Until she apologizes to me for her actions, and what she did, she won't be around my daughter. And if you go against what I say and have her around her anyway, you won't be around her either."

"Shawnie? Really?" He says, in disbelief.

"I'm serious. You know I can put aside not liking that bitch but she's not gonna disrespect me. And you know I'm right. And you need to talk to that bitch cause I'm sure it was her who texted me." I say, pissed off.

"I got you. Maybe I can set something up for y'all to talk?"

"Oh, no. I'm not doing that."

"So, how is she supposed to communicate with you?"

"The bitch can call me on the phone just like she texted me today." I say

"Aight. I'll make sure it happens. But there's something else..." he say.

I just roll my eyes. "What now, Chris?"

"You're worried about the wrong ex."

"What do you mean? Diamond?"

"No....."

"Then who?" I ask

At that moment I could hear his doorbell ring.

"Hold on." He says

I patiently wait for him to come back to the phone. I could hear a woman in the background but I couldn't make out the voice. Didn't sound like Diamond or Ammika.

"Aight." He comes back to the phone. "Shawnie, let me call you back. We can finish this tomorrow."

"Nah. Who?" I ask. Now I'm being nosey.

I heard him take a deep breath and let it out. ".....Kae."

"WHAT?" I yell

"She just got here, so ima have to hit you later. I think you guys should meet though."

I was in shock. Karrueche? What? She decided to make an appearance? And he's just acting like this is cool, like whatever. He can't just stop this information on me and go. I need details. I was just throwing a whole bitch fit over Ammika and I don't even need to be worried about her, she's just fucking with me. Damn...maybe this is why she did it. This bitch really irks my nerves.

"Shawnie?" Chris interrupted my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"I said I'll hit you later..." he says

"Nooo....wait!" I say. "Your ex, Karrueche, is at your house right now and y'all are..."

He cuts me off. "We're not. We have been conversing back and forth and spending some time together privately. No one knows." He explains. "But this is rude. Let me call you later."

"Wait, Christopher, we need to discuss this."

"We will. I promise. My birthday is coming up and I'm having a party. I would like for both of you to be there. I know this may be surprising. Believe me I know it's a shocker but the three of us are going to have a sit down and talk. Obviously with you being you, you're at the top of my list." He explains with a knowing tone.

"But—."

He cuts me off. "Shawnie. Let me call you later."

"Where is Gen right now?" I ask

"She is with my mother." He says. "I gotta go."

I don't say anything, I just hang up.

I sit in disbelief for minutes, trying to comprehend the news I just received. Karrueche and Chris, again? I have to admit I didn't see this coming. Ammika maybe, but Karrueche? What? WHAT THE FUCK??

I was shaking. Literally. My leg was violently shaking uncontrollably. I didn't even know. I don't know why this is getting to me this way but I'm NOT okay. Like, not okay, what. So. Ever.

I picked up my phone to call my therapist again.

"Please answer the phone. I really need to talk to you." I say aloud.

The phone went to voicemail. He already told me he would call me, I guess I just have to wait.

Mercedes POV

I was looking for my cousin because I wanted to take her out to lunch. I felt that we needed to catch up and reset. I also kind of felt like she was spending entirely too much time with Joe and I'm scared things are gonna turn out how they did with her exes. I just wanted to see where her head was.

I was a little irritated because they woke me up having loud sex again. I'm happy she's getting some because I'm not, but I may be a little jealous as well because I broke things off the Trey again. It was just boring now. He wanted to be exclusive, and I didn't. So it's kind of a mixture of both things. Dorian is off somewhere with Joe's cousin. She seems to be in love with him too. I don't know what's up with these Samoans, maybe I should get me one for myself.

I was coming in the kitchen thinking she was there, but she wasn't, Joe was. He was sitting at the kitchen  table. He was staring intensely at his phone. He wasn't scrolling or anything, he was just looking at it.

"Hey." I say walking into the kitchen.

"What's up?" He doesn't even pick his head up to look at me. He's just staring at the phone.

"Have you seen Shawnie? I've been looking all over for her. I don't know where she is." I say

"She's not here." He says

"Oh... Where did she go?"

"I don't know." He says

I look at him like he's crazy. "You don't know. Yeah, right."

"No, I don't know. She's at this house a few minutes from here. I don't know whose it is."

"Oh, you really don't know where she is." I say, realizing he's telling the truth. Something must've happened between them.

"No." he says, visibly upset. "She just left. Now I don't know where the hell she is."

"Technically you do. It's obvious you're just staring at her location." I say jokingly but he doesn't laugh.

This was a little weird for me because I've never seen Joe like this. This must be serious.

I take a seat at the table across from him. "Is everything okay?"

"I don't think so. I think I messed up." He admits.

Whaaat? Joe thinks he messed up. Mr. Perfect in everything he does and says. I'm shocked.

"What happened?" I say trying to hide my amusement. "You guys were just going at it this morning. It woke me up. What could've happened within the last couple of hours?" I ask

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"It's fine if you don't wanna talk about it but I don't think that's gonna solve anything." I say

"Yeah, that's true but I don't think you understand."

"Well... I'm only trying to help. I know I'm not the first person to come to about this because you guys think I don't support this. But I've known her a lot longer than you have so if there's something I can help with just lay it on me."

"I don't want to tell her business like that." He says

"Understandable. Does it have something to do with any of her exes?"

"No. Only me."

"Well, I've never seen you like this. I'm willing to try to help you as much as I can because I know my cousin can be a handful. So if you ever want to talk, just come talk to me." I give him a reassuring smile.

"Thanks." He says

"And I know you guys are together, so it's okay."

"We're not together." He says.

"But you act like it." I say. "Shawnie isn't someone who is just gonna continuously spend time with someone and it not go anywhere. That's why she broke up with Chris. After a while she felt like she couldn't get to where she wanted to be relationship wise and that's ultimately why she broke up with him. She married Aubrey because she knew she could and that's what she wanted. We're not gonna talk about anything between or after that time but ultimately, she progressed in that relationship. What I see with you two is something that can be beautiful. You're different. We all know it. We all see the potential. But if I'm being honest here, I know you're into her but you don't want things to go too far. I think you're realizing things have now gone too far and you're trying to slow it down. That's fine, but you're in this little situation with someone who craves commitment. If you don't plan on giving that to her, then you need to end things. And I only see this going bad if you don't. She is beyond a casual relationship with you and I can tell she's settling right now for whatever you give her. That's not fair."

"Mercedes, it's not that I don't want to give it to her. I want to give her everything...I just can't." He says

"Well, you need to have that talk with her."

"I have. We had a pretty extensive talk when she came to Vegas. I told her not to ask for what she knows I don't want, and I feel like it's getting to that point. I'm scared to take it to the next level."

"Well, it seems like you need to do some deep thinking." I say

"I don't wanna hurt her."

"And that's fine, you don't have to, but you need to be honest with her. Even if it does hurt her, she'll be content with the fact that you were honest with her. Just talk to her."

"I feel like if I talk to her it's gonna make things worse. I wasn't her in my life and I want it to stay how it is. I don't want her going anywhere." He admits

"Well, you just have to take that chance." I say. "If you're going to be honest then that's what you gave to face is that's what she wants."

"I don't liked feeling like this."

".... Feeling in love with someone?" I smirk at him. He looked a little shocked. "Yeah, I said it. Just tell her." I sat. "Let me see your phone." He turns his phone around and he shows me her location. I sent the location to myself. "I'm gonna go talk to her and see whose house this is."

He just nods his head.

"I'll let you know how she is."

"Thanks." He says and I leave.

"350 Long Valley Rd." I said to myself, while driving up the street. "This better not be another one of Drake's houses because I swear to goodness, if it is...I'm going to kill her..."

I stop once I get to the driveway.

"This is beautiful." I say, as I pulled up to the gate.

I see it's open. Of course this is trespassing but if she's really here everything should be fine.

I drove up the semi long driveway and was able to get a better view of the house and oh my gosh whoever's house this is has some deep pockets...this better not be that bitches house.

I get out of the car and I'll walk up to the door. It's nothing but glass so I can clearly see inside.

This is a very nice house.

I ring the doorbell and I see Shawnie walking towards me. Once she sees me, she rolls her eyes, but she opens the door.

"What are you doing here?" She asks

"Babe, whose house is this?"

"A friend's. What are you doing here?"

"Joe was at home, staring at your location, so I sent it to myself and I figured I'd see where you were."

"Good. Maybe that'll give him time to think about his actions."

"What did he do?" I ask

She moves to the side letting me in. "Nothing."

"It's not nothing. I talked to him and it seems like you guys are having issues within your relationship. Big issues."

"We're not together." She says, closing the door and walking into the living room. I closely follow her and we both walk into the kitchen and take a seat at the island.

"Whatever y'all are, y'all ain't seeing eye to eye right now."

"That's true." She says

"So what's the problem?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

I laugh, "He said the same thing." I say. "Regardless if you guys like it or not, it seems like you're in a relationship. From what I can gather, you want commitment and he doesn't?"

"No. I don't want commitment. And Joe is committed to me regardless if he sees it or not. I just want him to say how he feels, but he refuses to do that. That's all I want." She explains

"Well, how do you feel?" I ask

"Joe and I, we spent a lot of time together. Like, literally all day. I don't get tired of him. I don't get tired of talking to him or seeing him around the house. I love being around him. I know he feels the same way, but he just won't tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"That he loves me." She says

"I'm gonna ask this question but I already know the answer because I can see it but do you love him?"

She nods her head.

"You can't force him into saying or doing something he doesn't want to do." I say

"I'm not trying to force him. I've been doing everything at his pace and I know he doesn't want to make this a serious thing and honestly I don't either but it's just naturally progressed that way. We don't have to be together but we need to understand where we are together in this."

"I agree, but he's not ready. I think you should continue to just go with the flow." I say

"And I agree with that.... But, he won't even give me a little bit. Fuck the flow at this point."

"But if you know how he feels, why do you need him to say it? Doesn't he show it? I know he does because I see it every day."

"Yeah, but I just want him to verbalize. He doesn't need to say, "Shawnie I love you" but he can just give me a little something to make me feel like this isn't one sided." She explains

"....So you threw a bitch fit because he didn't tell you he loves you?" I look at her like she's crazy.

"I guess I did." She laughs

"You guys are going through all of this, but you swear up and down you're not in a relationship."

"We're really not."

"And that's what he's going to cling to. He seems like he has commitment issues, and I think the thought of getting into a serious relationship scares him."

"It does. We've already talked about this." She days

"He also told me that he told you not to ask for what you know he doesn't want. It seems like you're asking for it."

"Maybe a little bit." She kinda laughs. She knows what she's doing.

"So if he doesn't do what you say, what are you gonna do?"

"Well, I'm here. And I'm taking a break."

"Here?" I look around. "But who's house is this?"

"A friend." She quickly answers.

"So you got Joe over there upset that you're upset with him and you are some other niggas house?"

She doesn't say anything.

"I know you feel bad about it. Let's just go home and we can deal with this however we can."

"I told him I will be here when he gets back. I'm not leaving right now. I scheduled an emergency session with my therapist, so I'm gonna do that here. It's nice and quiet, no one is around." She says

"That's understandable. But I want you to really think this through. Really think about what you're doing because this is not Chris and his ain't Drake either. This is Joe and you know he is not going for no bullshit not does he deserve that. He doesn't deserve this." I explain. "Don't do him how you did Chris."

"I hear you." She says

"I know it's only so much talking I can do, so I'm just gonna shut up and like I told him if you need me I am always around to talk."

"Thank you."

"So are you gonna tell me who this friend is or not?" I ask

"Well, he's a ball player..."

"Ball player? Basketball or football, because I know you ain't dating no baseball player."

She just looks at me and shrugs.

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