Shawnie's POV  

Chris pulled up in his matte army green Bentley truck, 15 minutes after we got off the phone. He got out and helped me put the kids in the car and strapped him in, then he got the couple of bags that I have for them and put them in his car. I had absolutely nothing for me. I just grabbed some of their things, I can just get whatever else I need.

"You don't have to tell me everything right now, but I do want to know why are you leaving your car there?" He asks

"Because he has trackers on all of his cars and I don't want him to know where I'm going."

He nods his head. "So where are we going?"

"SLS Hotel. I know you have a party going on and thank you for leaving in the middle of it, but you know I didn't have anybody else to call." I say

"It's all good. I still feel like you're my responsibility. I know you're married and everything but if I'm being honest, I still feel that way. Especially since you're back in LA now."

"I'm not back in LA."

"You know what I mean. Since you're here, visiting for an undetermined amount of time." he laughs using air quotes, "I still feel like I gotta look out for you. And I know I told you this before but I don't care if we're together or not. You have my daughter, so I'm still gonna drop everything if you need me.... And you sound like you needed me so, I'm here."

"I appreciate you so much. You can easily just be like fuck me but you're not and I appreciate that."

"Fa sho! You know I'm rockin with you. Til the wheels fall off..."

I smile. "Our relationship ended a long time ago and I am glad that I can still say you're a really good friend to me. I never wanted our friendship to die because our relationship was over. You've always been a good friend to me." I say

"It's the same for you. We just don't work out as a couple." He says, "...although I think both of us are in different stages of our lives right now and we're more aware of ourselves and I think a relationship between us would actually work now but... We don't need to get into all of that." He smiles, looking over at me.

I just smiled. I think he's right though. We both think differently and I see how he is with Diamond and it definitely feels like he's changed but that's a road we can never go down again because I'm married now.

"....True." I say under my breath, but I think he heard me because he looked over at me. He didn't say anything though.

"So are you okay..." He asks

I take a deep breath and then I'll let it out. "Yeah. I'm fine it's just that I feel like I've dated the same man all of my life and I've known it but... I still ended up marrying him."

"Is he cheating on you?" He asks

"No. He's not cheating or anything, it's just mentally, you guys are all the same. I've never had issues with him cheating and from my understanding he's never talked to anyone else since he's known me which I feel like that's a complete lie but, whatever. I never hear anything other than he loves me and really wants to be with me. The main thing is his jealousy. He does things and he says things that are... Just... Inexcusable. I know he's trying but my problem is since I know he's trying and I always give him the benefit of the doubt and I always fold because I know he doesn't want to be this way. Shit is just eating away at him and it's overwhelming for him." I explain

"I think that's a blessing and a curse..." He says

"What?

"Giving people the benefit of the doubt. I know you gave me a million chances and I still fucked up. I tried harder than I've ever have with any woman and I still ended up fucking shit up. I don't care what anybody has said, I know you stayed way longer than you should have. I know you're doing the same thing with him but I don't want you to stay in a relationship especially if you're not happy. You don't have to be with me but I think you deserve to be happy and I don't know for sure but it doesn't sound like you're 100% happy in this relationship." He says

"Overall, there are things that I would like to change but that issue aside, I am okay. I think Aubrey and I are good together and I like the life that we have together. I would like to adjust some things because you know me, I'm not used to shit like this. I'm used to doing everything on my own but I'm trying to adjust and I love everything that he does for me to try to make my life easier, but I'm starting to feel like it's not enough. Well, let me rephrase that. It's enough, it's just that I'm not all that satisfied with some things."

"I think I understand what you're saying but you said you're happy with the life that you have with him but you want to change it so are you happy, or not?" He asks

"I'm happy." I say quickly.

He looks at me for a few seconds. "Are you telling yourself that because you wanna work it out with him or is there something else?" Her asks

I laugh. It is absolutely ridiculous that he knows when I am hiding something. Well, it's not that I'm hiding it, I just don't want to tell him because I know he will flip the fuck out if I tell him the shit that has been going down between Aubrey and I.

"Let's just say this, I am married and I think some things need to be kept within a marriage." I say

"But if it's something that serious, you need to tell me. Because if it's something that I need to handle, I can do that. All jokes aside, I'll gladly hurt that motherfucker if I need to." He says

"Chris, I know you're serious. Just... Let it go." I say

"Were the bruises really from sex?" He asks

"Yes."

"Would you ever tell me if shit got physical between you two?" He asks

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I know you don't play about me and I know you will try to kill him."

"Damn right." He starts laughing at himself. "Okay. I understand why you wouldn't tell me something that serious, but you know you need to tell somebody." He says

"I know."

"Just promise me this, if something like that would ever happen, you would leave. You don't have to leave and come to me. Honestly, I don't care where you go but I want you to get away from him and that machine that he is controlling over there. If you can't, then by all means, contact me and you better believe I will be there as fast as time allows me to be there."

"I promise...." I say. He knows something is up but he's not going to say anything until I do. He's really trying to get this information out of me.

I really wanted to tell Chris about the things that's been going on but he's just gonna completely flip out and it doesn't help that we're all in LA right now. Chris and I have been through a lot and I kind of don't feel right telling him this information based off of him being my ex, but I feel like I need somebody to pull me out of all of this. Then on the other hand, I also feel like this is my karma. This is karma that goes all the way back to Christian. I almost feel like I deserve this. I know this is something that I have to do on my own if I want things to change. But, I also feel like someone who's a really good friend to me needs to know what's going on.

".... I'm happy I was in LA when this happened." I say looking straight ahead out of the windshield. I see his head snap my direction but he doesn't say anything for a few seconds.

"...Shawnie... What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I said I'm glad I was in LA when this happened."

"What the fuck happened?" I was a little nervous to tell him. He put on the turn signal. After a few seconds he pulled over on the side of the road, put the car in park, and looked me dead in my face. "Do I need to turn around?"

"No you don't need to turn around and no he did not put his hands on me tonight." I say

"Tonight? What the fuck do you mean tonight? If that motherfucker is putting his hands on you Shawnie I swear to God...."

"No—."

He cuts me off. "Then what?"

"He's not..."

"Tell me what is going on."

"Just stop. Calm down. That was a poor choice of words."

"Let me know the move." He says serious as hell.

I wasn't ready for his reaction. I knew he would get upset but I didn't think he would pull over on the side of the road and threaten to turn around and go back there. I wanna be honest with him but I don't think this is the right time.

"Just go to the hotel and we'll talk when we get there." I say

He stares at me for a few seconds more but I avoid eye contact at all costs and I start fiddling on my phone. He didn't wanna let it go but he did. He eventually drives off and we go to the hotel. 

When we got close, Chris told me to get in the backseat just in case there were any paparazzi outside.

He was going to go through the underground garage so we would be able to enter the hotel with no issues but first I needed to get my room.

"Here." I say handing him my debit card from the backseat.

"Tell me what kind of sense does that make? If you don't want him to know where you're at, why would you charge this to your card?" He asks, looking at me like really. 

"It's my card. He doesn't have access to any of my accounts." I say

"You think he doesn't have access to any of your accounts. I got it." He gets out of the car. "Lock the doors." He says before he closes the door.

I took a couple of seconds to look at both babies who were still sleeping. It's crazy how they can sleep through all of this. But they do say babies like car rides so that probably is what kept them asleep.

Chris comes back to the car about 10 minutes later and he sits in the driver seat.

"Alright, I got you the SLS suite. So you don't have to worry about anything. Whatever you need they can get for you. They will be bringing up two cribs too. You're the second to the last floor at the top and there's only four other guests on your floor. I also booked the presidential suite above that."

"Damn you got all the info. Thank you." I say.

"I also booked two extra rooms on that floor for Mercedes and Dori when they get here." He says

"Shit! I forgot about them." I say

"Trey got them. Don't even worry about that." He says

"You thought of everything...but why'd you book the presidential?" I ask

"Do you really think I'm gonna let you stay here by yourself when you have a deranged husband looking for you?"

"Oh my gosh, you're making it bigger than what it is. I'm not necessarily hiding from him, I just want space from him right now and I don't want him smothering me."

"Okay, and I'll be upstairs until you get all of this figured out." He says

"You already left in the middle of your party, you don't have to stay. Thank you, but you don't have to."

"Shut up, I'm staying." He says, "Now let's hurry up and get the kids out of the car before paparazzi figures out a way to get in."

"Were they even outside? It's the middle of the night." I say

"We're in Beverly Hills, they don't sleep."

We both laugh as we get out of the car. He takes Gen and he also grabs Atlas' car seat. I get their bags out of the back.

Once we get in the suite the cribs are already there in the second bedroom, so we place them in their cribs and have a seat in the living room.

I plopped down on the sofa. Chris was sitting in a chair across from me. Now I actually feel relieved. I have the babies secured and comfortable and now I'm able to actually sit and think about all this, and all I can say is what the Fuck.

I looked over at him and he was staring at me intensely. I hate this look. I always have. Makes me feel uneasy. Make me feel like he's listening to my thoughts. Makes me feel as if he's looking through my soul.

I sigh, "What Chris?"

"Tell me Mama." He says softly.

"I really don't want to get into all of that right now. Thank you for everything." I say

"Okay..." He gets up. "I'll be upstairs then." He walks to the door.

"Wait...stay with me. I don't want to be by myself." I admit

"Aight...you really want me to stay with you?" He walks over taking off his jacket, smiling. 

"Yes."

"Only if you talk to me." He says

"I'll talk to you but promise me you won't do anything."

"I can't make any promises, baby. You know me." He says

He sits down on the sofa to the left of me and relaxes his arms on the back of the sofa.

"Fine. What I will promise you is that I won't do anything tonight."

"This week." I try to negotiate.

He sighs, "Aight."

"He locked me in his closet." I say

"He locked you in his closet? For what?"

"Because I was going to your house with Mercedes and Dori."

He just sat there shaking his head.

"He seems like the type to do some bitch shit like that too. How long were you locked in there?"

"Hours." I say and I can see the anger building up inside of him. He was trying to contain it but he was just so hot.

"Are you okay?" He asks

"I'm fine now that I'm away from him. I'm happy I can somewhat relax...at least for the night."

"You can. I'm not going anywhere. I'll sleep right here if you need me to." He said with a serious face. "You wanna smoke?"

"Yes. Please." I say somewhat relieved that I don't have to keep this conversation going.

He smiles and takes the blunt out of his ear. He goes into his pocket and pulls out a lighter.

"I'm smoking with you, but I'm not in the mood to try to fight you on taking it too far." I say

"I got you, baby." He smiles

"I have to call Dori and Mercedes to let them know where I am."

"Do you think he'll still let them stay there?" He asks

"Of course he will. Aubrey isn't going to say anything to them. He wants everyone to think he's perfect and everyone else around him is the problem. If they went back to the house he would just let them think that I'm asleep or something." I say

"I'll have Trey bring them here." He says

"Thank you.

*****

An hour had passed and Chris and I were still sitting in the living room talking. We had smoked the blunt he had and had another rolled. I was laying on one side of the sofa and he was laying on the other side. We both were on our backs, facing each other. We were talking shit about Aubrey.

"He tried to take the Cartier bracelet you gave me. He was so mad." I say giggling.

Chris bursts out laughing.

"Don't laugh.... He was upset." I try to say with a straight face.

"Nigga you laughing too." He says and we both laugh again. "He's jealous of what we have. He told me." Chris says

"True. He told me to. At least he's honest." I say

Chris' phone starts ringing. He picks it up, looks at it and places it back down on the coffee table. I look and see it's Diamond calling.

"It's okay, you can answer it." I say

"Nah, she's been getting on my nerves lately. Talking about how she wants to move in and shit. I ain't with that. I bought her a house just to shut her up."

"Why don't you want her living with you?"

"I don't want to be bothered. Ain't nobody living with me." He says

"I want you to be happy Chris. I want you to have everything you deserve."

"I agree but I'm not going to be happy until I have you back. I want to do this relationship the right way. I want to give you what I couldn't and didn't want to give. I feel you're the only one who deserves my loyalty. The only one that deserves this new me." He says and we hold eye contact for a few seconds.

I smile at him. "Come here."

"Uh-oh!" He smiles back at me, while sitting up on his elbows. "Why you want me over here?" He asks, making his way over to me.

"Because..."

He lays down between my legs and hovers over me. "You wanna make out?"

I laugh, as he kisses me on the lips. He pulls away and looks at me. "You know you get horny when you're high... is that what this is?"

I laugh again but go back in for another kiss. From then on shit got blurry. I don't know how long we were making out but if it wasn't for Atlas walking up and crying, I probably would've gone further than I wanted to.

I'm so thankful for Atlas right now.

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