Shawnie's POV

Shortly after Joe left, I was just cleaning up the house a little bit, just busying myself until it was time for me to meet my friend. Mercedes and Dori walk in. Dori walks over to me and hugs me but Mercedes comes and sits directly in front of me at the island. I ignore her for a few seconds and I talk to Dori.

"Heeey!" She says with a huge smile on her face.

"What's up?" I ask confused. Why is she so happy?

"Nothing....I just heard some interesting news this morning."

"About?" I ask

"You and Joe..." she says, still smiling big.

"Huh? From who?"

"Well, you know Jey is in love with me. He told me that Joe told him that you guys are entertaining each other."

"Um....we are?" I look at her confused.

"Why did you say it like it's a question?" She asks

"Because I don't know how to answer that. Entertaining each other? What's that mean?"

"What is the deal with you guys?"

"Nothing."

"Oh...well maybe Jey got it wrong." She shrugs.

"Get more info out of him." I say intrigued.

"Okay." She says and I look over at Mercedes. She's just looking at me.

"What?" I say to her.

"Still on the subject of Joe, I heard you guys this morning." She says

I laugh. "I'm sorry. We'll keep it down." I say

"So you guys are a thing?" Dori says

"No. We're not a thing..."

"But...?" My cousin says,

"But nothing. We're not a thing."

"So you guys are just banging?" Dori asks

"We have a couple of times."

She starts jumping up and down and clapping. "Yay! I'm so happy for you."

"Okay but why do you have to use the word banging? It sounds so...nasty."

"Nasty is good!" She smiles. "Joe seems so gooood for you. And he don't play about you." She says

I smile. I never thought about it like that. He doesn't. I like that.

"And he's always there when I need him."

"Except for when he left." Mercedes says. "I'm okay with this but only as long as you're being smart about this. It seems like you're putting too much into Joe. He literally left you when you needed him and now he's back and you guys are just good?"

"Yes." I say. "We talked everything out and now everything is fine."

"Aight.... I was okay with you going to Vegas—."

I cut her off. "No you weren't. You didn't want me to go." I say. I'm not buying her bullshit today.

"I mean...I didn't want you to go but I know you guys care about each other and although I advised against it, I'm happy you followed your own advice. It worked out for you." She smiles but I think it's fake.

"So what is this conversation about? I said we'll keep it down." I'm over this conversation now. It seems like she's trying to install some damaging thoughts about Joe and I ain't going for it.

"You guys are having sex. Yeah I set that shit up and I was cool with it, because you needed it but now, it seems a little serious. I just don't want things to start going in a similar way with Joe that it did with Drake. When you get involved with someone, you go all in."

"What are you talking about? You don't want me drinking, you don't want me with Joe. What's your problem? And I wanna add, I haven't drank anything since Joe has been back. I think you want to see the bad in every situation but him being back is good. It's like you don't want me to be happy."

"That's not true—."

"NOW I'm gonna have a drink." I walk over to the freezer and pull out a half full bottle of Meili Vodka. I take a whiskey glass and sit them on the counter. Dori snaps a picture of me. I look at her like she's fucking crazy.

"I'm sorry... I just thought it would be a cute picture for you to take and post on Instagram and then tag Jason Momoa since it's his company...we're still trying to get his attention right?"

She looks at me for an answer and I just shake my head.

"....My bad." She says and I laughed for a second then I remembered I'm in a fight with my cousin.

"Why do you have to be so difficult?" Mercedes says. "All I'm saying is—."

I cut her off. "You don't want me to be happy. Joe makes me happy and you hate it."

"It's too serious. I can see you're in love with him."

"And if I am so fucking what. That doesn't have shit to do with you." I say

"I'm just trying to look out for you because we don't want a repeat situation of what happened with Drake when you went off and got married to him."

"I'm not worried about Drake. I think you should go see how he's doing since you're so worried about him. I'm sure he'd fuck you to get to me."

"Wow! I don't want your psycho leftovers. I'm not worried about him. I'm worried about you. I just know how you are and I don't want whatever your situation is to go too far down the road and now you're stuck in love with someone else who doesn't love you."

"Well...." Dori cuts in. "I don't think there's gonna be any problems with that. Joe is displaying some pretty contradicting acts and saying somethings that doesn't suggest he doesn't love her."

My head snaps and Dorian's direction. "What are you talking about, what did he say? What do you know?"

"He talks to his cousin pretty often, and it seems like you guys are... Together." She says

"But what exactly did he say, because we're not together. We had a pretty detailed talk about what was going to go on between us and if he's changing his mind about that I need to know."

"Okay, calm down." She says. "I don't want you to jump down my throat here. I'm only repeating what he told me and I don't want you to repeat this because he'll know exactly where it came from. But since you're my best friend... Joe told him that he's hoping things work out between the two of you because he really likes you."

"What?" a smile creeps up on my face. "The conversation we had was he would be there for me for whatever I need. Neither one of us want to be in a relationship but we find comfort in each other. That's the only way I can explain what's going on here. I'm sure we've both developed feelings for each other, well, I know we have. I think we have deep feelings for each other, but we both have situations going on where we don't don't know if it's a good decision to actually enter into a relationship."

I never really thought about it, but trying to explain the situation between Joe and I is actually kind of complicated. But since she's my friend and Mercedes is my cousin, I want to try to explain this in the best way I can. I think if anyone should know the truth, it should be them since they're the closest to me.

"He also said that you've been through a lot and he wants to show you that all men aren't the same. I thought it was really sweet, because I like that he takes that into consideration and he's gentle with that. So I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing, I think it's really good because he's so aware of what's going on with you and he is in the situation with you." She turns to my cousin. "Mercedes I think you're just voicing your opinion because you're scared for her and that's fine but it's her life. If it doesn't work out, we will be there for her. You don't have to always protect her... She has Joe for that." Me and Dori start laughing.

"I don't find any of this funny. I really am worried about you." She says

"I'm actually doing well, and as I mentioned earlier, I'm actively addressing my drinking habit. It's surprising, but ever since he returned, I haven't even had the desire to drink. Joe has been incredibly helpful in redirecting my attention towards other things, and when he's with me, I find myself significantly less stressed. He has this calming effect on my mind, putting me at ease." I try to convey, emphasizing the positive impact Joe has had on me.

"I just don't want you to get hurt again and I don't want you to fall in love with the wrong person again. I'm only trying to look out for you." My cousin says

"Well, you don't have to worry about me. I think it's pretty obvious that Joe is taking care of me very well." I say

She just rolls her eyes.

"Anyway, I have a date that I need to get ready for." I say

"You and Joe are going on a date?" Dori asks

"No, he still wants me to date around and get experience. I understand what he means because I don't have a dating life, but honestly, I'm mostly doing it because he wants me to. I've been talking to this guy and I like him but I feel like I'm cheating on Joe. I don't want to lead him on and have him thinking there's a future for us, and it might not be."

"Then maybe you should date more guys..." Mercedes says. "The more guys you date, the more your mind is not on one person. And that way they know it's nothing serious because you're dating multiple people."

"That makes sense, but I'm not a regular person. I can't just date people. Paparazzi follow me every time I go into public." I say

"All of that is fine, but you said something that makes me think there's more to it." Dori says

"What did I say?"

"It sounds like you're basing it off of what Joe wants."

"I am basing this off of what he wants. WhenI went to Vegas to bring him back I decided that I was going to go at his pace. I know what's good for me right now and I know what I need and I don't need to be with anybody. I think it's very convenient for us and that's just what it is. With mystery guy—."

"Oh, that's what we're calling him? Still not giving us a name?" Dori asks

"No." I say. "With mystery guy, it's like everything effortlessly falls into place, and he seems perfect in many ways... But deep down, I must admit, he's just not Joe." I confess, acknowledging the undeniable truth.

Just as we were engrossed in our conversation, the front door swings open, and there stands Joe. The room falls into a sudden silence, and all talking ceases.

"Hey!" I exclaim, forcing a smile to appear on my face. "You left not long ago. How did you come back so quickly?"

"Hello, ladies!" Joe greets them with a warm smile before turning his attention to me. "I left my wallet..." He continues walking past me, heading towards his bedroom.

Dori leans towards me, whispering softly, "Do you think he heard us?"

I shake my head, indicating that I don't think he did. We sit there, filled with suspense, in an uneasy silence until Joe finally returns.

"You guys must be talking about me." He walks into the kitchen and stands next to me. He puts his arm around me. "What did I do now?" He jokes.

"You didn't do anything. I say, placing my hand on his.

"Yeah, we were just talking about going out tonight." Dori says

"You always wanna go out." Joe jokes and we laugh "Aight. I got the guys in the car waiting for me. It was nice talking to you ladies." he looks at me. "Don't get into too much trouble while I'm gone."

"I'm not." I look up at him.

My eyes fall on his lips. I see him looking at mine as well and fuck it I'm just gonna do it. I don't care if they're standing here. I know he wants to kiss me. Before I could, he brought his face down to mine and kissed me. I melt into him. We engaged in a simple kiss, but I didn't want it to end, so I leaned in and slipped my tongue into his mouth. Joe takes that as an invitation to force his force mine as well. He knows I like when he does that. We made out for about 30 seconds before pulling away from each other. Mercedes and Dorian were just staring at us. Dorian's mouth was open like she's never seen anyone kiss someone before.

"...... I'm sorry... But that was so hot you guys!" Dori says fanning herself.

Joe didn't even look at them, he was still locked in with me. He just smiles. "I'll be back later." He lets go of me and leaves. I just sat there smiling.

"Yeah...she's in love." Mercedes says, then rolls her eyes.

"I'm not..." I laugh.

"Tuh, I can see it all in your eyes. I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Just let her have this. I think she's going to be fine. We're not talking about Chris Brown or Drake here. This is Joe." Dori

"I guess you're right. I won't say anything." She says turn leaves.

"She'll be fine, you know she's just worried about you. I don't think she's mad." Dori says

"No, I know she's not mad and I'm not worried about her." I say.

"Okay...." She just looks at me like she has something else to say.

"What, Dori?" I laugh

"The sex is good, right?"

"Immaculate!" I say and we both laugh.

"I knew it! We both knew it!" Dori exclaims, her voice filled with excitement.

"I just wish he would manhandle me how Drake did. I think Everything else is perfect. He refuses to get rough with me....well he does but I think he just doesn't want to hurt me."

"Yes! Throw me around and a rag doll!"

"Exactly." I agree.

"I knew Joe was good... I'm jealous." She says

I give Dori a subtle side eye, noticing her exuberant reaction. While I appreciate her excitement, I can't help but wonder if she's being a bit overly enthusiastic. Nonetheless, I choose to let it slide.

"Oh, no! I didn't mean it like that. I'm not jealous like I want to have a sample for myself, I mean it in a good way. You know I'm with his cousin and we're just fine. Just saying, maybe it runs in the family." She shrugs

"Oh ok." I say

"I was always joking with you about me wanting to watch and us having a threesome and everything. That's why ever since you guys started messing around for real I haven't made any comments or jokes about that."

"That's good to know." I say. "We'll talk more about this later. I need to get ready..."

"Alrighty, I'll see you later!"

I start a walking off, and I felt my phone buzz in my hand a few times. I looked down at it, and literally choke on air. I got a random text from an unknown number that read;

Ammika & Chris are back together.

I tried to call the number back, but they did not answer. What the fuck is going on?

***************

Later on that night, I went over to my friend's house and we hung out for a while. Everything was cool, as always. I like spending time with him, it's just something that we do. No relationship talk, no sexual tension or anything, it's just us vibing out together.

I'm comfortable with him and I'm at the point where I trust him and I trust that he won't let anything happen to me. We've been doing this for a while and I know he cares about my well-being so I thought it was okay when he asked me to ride to the store with him. I didn't see anything wrong with that. So my friend and I got into his Lamborghini truck and headed to a convenience store.

Everything was cool. We went in and got some snacks and came back out. I wanted to take a picture of him but of course I didn't want people to know who he was just yet because we were still figuring things out. So I took a regular picture for me to have, and I also took one for Instagram. I thought it was perfect because you can't see his face and the fact that his hat also displayed what he was doing. I just loved the picture so much I had to post it right then and there. So I got in the car and posted it.

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Instagram

Shawniemarie

Shawniemarie 🖕🏼

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Of course, there were numerous comments that came right in and a lot of people guessed who he was but I wasn't gonna confirm that. I liked playing this game and I liked the fact that no one knew who this was. Yes, I knew I was taking a huge risk by posting these pictures but honestly we're kinda at the point where I'm a little bit okay with people knowing that I'm dating around again... I just don't want them in my business.

He was just laughing at my post and then I thought about my DM's.

"Hey, I want to talk to you about something..." I say

"What's up?" He says driving back to his house.

"I know we've been spending time with each other and everything. I think this is cool and all but I'm supposed to be dating and I have a couple people who wanna take me out. How do you feel about that?" I ask. I'm a little nervous to ask about this because up until now he was pretty much the only person I was talking to, but now since Joe is back in the picture and is really part of my life, things have changed.

"I'm not going for it. I want to take you out, but you won't let me." He says nonchalantly. Okay, so this is good, he's not upset.

"To be honest with you, I want to keep us private for multiple reasons, but the number one thing is because I just wanna keep us private. If things become serious between us that's a different story, but right now we're not really anything to each other. We're just spending time together." I say

"Why is it okay for them to take you and not me?"

"Because.... You're you. You know a lot goes into that. If I'm seen with you...I just don't think it's a good idea." I say. "I like how things are and I like spending time with you."

He looks at me like I'm speaking a foreign language. "I'm not about to be a part of your team."

I laugh. "I don't have a team, but if I did, you're my number one draft pick."

We both laughed.

"That's not true either. The person you're screwing is your number one pick. I ain't getting none... I'm number two, pissed off." He says

"I thought you said you were okay with it?"

"I'm okay with it but then again, I'm not. Everything is great with us and you're actively having sex with somebody else. You know a man can't take that. A man like me at that." He says, "Who asked you out anyway?"

"You really wanna know?"

"I asked, didn't I?"

"...Jayson Tatum, Jaylen Hurts, and a few others."

"So you just wanna go out with a bunch of different niggas and have me just sit at home waiting on your ass?"

"No, I'm actually just trying to deflect." I laugh. "I'm posting you, but... I don't know..."

"If you feel the need to go out on dates with other people instead of me, then that's on you. We're not together, I wish we were, but we're not, so I appreciate you talking to me about it. You talk to me about a lot of shit and I ain't mad at that. I like your honesty. As long as you don't get into a relationship with them I guess whatever. Don't be kissing in public either." He says

"I'm not kissing anyone, but you and who I am intimate with."

"I know who it is, just say it's your bodyguard. I know you're fucking him."

"....So I'm gonna go out on these dates and just try to get it in the media." I ignore his comment on purpose.

"I know you're still trying to piss your ex-husband off and you're using us to do it. I know the game. I'm not okay with it 100 percent but I get it. Whatever goes down I'm gonna be here anyway so..." he shrugs his shoulders.

"I don't give a fuck about him. I'm trying to get it into the media so they're not talking about Joe and I. This has nothing to do with Aubrey." I say with attitude. "But all seriousness aside, I do see myself being with you and I do see us being together. I just want to make sure that I'm ready to make that move again. You really are number one as far as that goes and you should know that. I want you to have some type of security when it comes to that."

"As long as shit don't change." He says

"I don't think anything is going to change."

"You don't think." He repeats. "Not your bodyguard?"
I shake my head no. "Tell me about that situation. Y'all just fuck, no emotions involved?" He asks

I sigh. I might as well just admit it. "There are emotions involved, but he doesn't want anything and I am not at the point where I want anything right now either. He's there for me and we have feelings for each other but we both know it's not gonna go anywhere. I don't want to really tell his business or anything but that's pretty much what's going on."

"So if he changed his mind tomorrow, you still wouldn't want to be with him?"

"........that's a hard question to answer."

"See, that's what I'm talking about. You'd probably pick him."

"I'll be honest with you, if you weren't in the picture, my answer would definitely be yes. We have a connection and based on that I would. But the fact that you are in the picture and I do see myself with you, that makes it complicated. He's pretty much set in his ways, and he's been this way for a while. I highly doubt that he will change his mind about that." I say

"You know if shit goes right with you and him I'm gonna be pissed off. I'm probably gonna team up with your ex husband." He jokes but I know he's serious.

"I believe that, but after he finds out he's gonna put a hit out on you." I laugh.

"He will." He laughs. "Fuck him."

We both laugh.

We went back to his house and we chilled out for a couple of hours.

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Instagram

Champagnepapi

Champagnepapi not to get the tea brewing but I wonder how your friend that looks at me with wandering eyes is doing.

HER LOSS out at Midnight.

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