Shawnie's POV

Joe, Kevin, Ben and I took the short flight back home from Vegas. The four of us talked about what is going on, what's going to happen when we get back home and Joe basically took charge of the situation. He has a team now, so he informed them on what they're gonna be doing and where they're going to go. He prefers for them to not be in close quarters with me which I agree with. Especially when I don't know if I can fully trust them right now. Joe wants Kevin at the gate and Ben to keep an eye on the property.

Everything seemed to be fine because I really didn't touch the general public so I didn't really have any issues getting to and from where I was going. However, there were a couple of paps outside the gate of my house. Now this is fucking crazy. My kids live here. My dad is here and they're outside of my gate waiting for me to leave or come so they can get a picture. This is the invasive bullshit I've been talking about all of this time. They have no fucking right.

I got in and I stayed in. I was beyond pissed at this situation. The only thing they calmed me down was seeing the kids. Spending time with them was the only two good things that have come out of my last two relationships. Next to that, is spending time by myself. It has been great being single, and for a while, in San Diego when it was just Joe and I, things were so calm and so peaceful until things amped up again with the divorce. Since it's been final, I feel a sense of freedom. I literally don't have to report to anyone and I like that. I like that I could just be by myself with my kids and just take care of them and focus on them.

A couple hours passed and I finally was able to get in contact with Amanda. I have been texting her to get an update and she has not responded but she called and told me that she was able to buy the photos back from the couple of companies who had it. And that was a huge relief to me but it cost me nearly $100,000 to do it.

Now I have to come up with something that's going to make people forget about this whole thing. It has to be something bigger and I really don't want to stoop to Aubrey's level but I feel like I have to because he won't stop until he feels he has won. So I know I'm taking a huge gamble on doing this, but I think I need to play a card that I was reeeeaaallllly trying to avoid all of this time.

"I'm heading out. Is it okay if I take Ben with me?" I ask Joe.

"Why don't you want me to go?" He laughs

"It's kinda a date."

"Oh, my bad. Go right ahead." He laughs again.

I take a seat next to him. "Be honest with me, are you okay with this for real? Because I feel weird."

"Yes. I told you I wanted you to date and I was serious about that. I don't want you to miss any opportunities because you're worried about me. Don't worry about me, I'm straight."

"But are you really?" I ask

He laughs, "Shawnie, there's no need for you to be concerned. I am fine. Have fun. Honestly."

"..... okay." I say and stand up. "I'll be back shortly."

"Okay." He says and then I leave out.  

********

Later that night.

We were lounging on one of the oversized lounge chairs in his theater. He was at one end of the chair and I was at the other, but we had a shared blanket over the both of us. We were binge watching his favorite show, Animal Kingdom and we had a veggie pizza in the middle of us. This was something we've been trying to do for a while. Our relationship pretty much consists of texting, and FaceTime every now and then. He's been very busy, and was actually out of town for six weeks. I figured this was a good time for me to get out and explore as Joe wanted me too, especially with all the rumors floating around about Joe and I.

I do have to admit, it felt weird spending time with someone else when Joe and I had such a good time over the weekend but he's pretty adamant about wanting me to date and get out and experience life because I never really got to. I don't know if this is a test and I'm failing it, or if he's being genuine about all of this. I'm trying to do it but I'm also cautious at the same time because I know I have feelings for Joe and Joe has feelings for me as well. So I'm just trying to be as careful as I can because this can become a sensitive situation.

Before I went back to Vegas for Joe, my friend and I had been holding these FaceTime conversations and text messages and we would have long conversations on the phone, just getting to know each other. The whole Joe situation just completely took me by surprise. I was completely locked in with Joe while I was there in Vegas for that weekend, and honestly I wasn't thinking about anyone else. Now that we're back in LA, with my crazy and deranged ex-husband, wanting rumors to fly about Joe and I, I have to entertain the rumor mill and play his stupid game and try to deflect.

Although it's some bullshit behind all of this, I like getting to know someone new outside of my circle of people. Someone who isn't an entertainer. We've managed to keep this friendship a secret. Literally no one knows about this and I love that. I just love my privacy and I like that we're able to keep this between us. Obviously we haven't gone out on any dates or anything. This is actually the first time I'm coming over to his house. He's kind of a busy man right now, so we really haven't had the time to hang out besides on FaceTime. I'm happy we were able to get this time together.

I am actually kind of scared to get involved with anyone. I feel like both of my kids' fathers aren't having it and then my ex-husband is probably having me followed by a private investigator again. I just don't want the drama. But I realized I can't live my life scared that he has someone following me around. If he does, why should I care? It's not like him and I are together or anything. I'm free to do whatever I want. I just hate that. He tries to start rumors about me because he's still hurt. He is so sensitive, but does all of this insensitive shit. I just don't get him sometimes.

I was kinda into the show and was interrupted by him speaking.

"You wanna go on a date?" He asks and I look over at him. He hadn't taken his eyes off of the screen.

"Like an actual date?" I ask for clarification.

He looks at me. "Yes."

"Are we ready for that yet?" I ask. "I know I'm not. I like our privacy, and enjoying you alone. Not worrying about rumors or who's mad."

"I like spending this time with you too but I think we've mastered the FaceTime and talking on the phone phase." He laughs

"Um...I don't know about that. This is my first time at your house...let's master this first." I say

"It's no rush. I just thought maybe we can start thinking about it." He says

"You know I have reservations about that."

"Yes. Maybe we can do something where there are not a lot of people. Shut some shit down or buy out a restaurant or something."

"But outside the place." I say. "The paps be on me like crazy right now. I'm trying to erase the whole situation with Joe and I."

"Back entrance." He smirks

"You must already have something in mind."

"I might have a couple of ideas but if you're not comfortable then I'll leave it alone. I've just been thinking about it." He smiles. He sits up and pushes the pizza away from us. He makes his way next to me and pulls me closer to him. "I have a confession to make..."

"What?" I smile, putting my arms around his neck.

".....I'll tell you later." He says then kisses me.

We make out for a few minutes, but I stop him.

"What's wrong?"

"........ you know that conversation we had a few weeks ago while you were away?"

"Yeah. What about it?" He says

"Were you serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I like what we're doing. I like the vibe and how you make me feel. I was dead ass serious." He says with a serious face. "Why?"

"Because I've been thinking..."

He smiles, and wraps his arms back around me. "What you been thinking?" He kisses me again but we were interrupted by his phone ringing.

"Damnit." He says breaking the kiss and reaching over to where he was previously sitting.

He grabs his phone and looks at me. "Hold on." He says then answers. "Yeah...I'm not home right now...what..." he sighs. "Why are you outside my house...aight I'll open the door. Give me a minute." He ends the call and stands up.

"Who was that?" I ask

"My son's mother. She left his crocodile here and he can't sleep without it. I gotta run upstairs to get it. You can stay here or go wait in my room if you want. She's coming in."

I smile. "Well, I'm not gonna miss an opportunity to see your bedroom." I stand up with him.

"If you wanted to see it you could've just asked." He says. "I wouldn't gladly taken you there."

I laugh. "You can learn a lot about someone by seeing someone's bedroom. Especially when they don't have enough time to clean up."

He puts his arms around my waist and kisses me. "Do as much snooping as you want." He kisses me again. "When you get to the top of the stairs, it's the only door on the right."

"Okay...." I smile

"Or you can meet her?"

"Let's not. Let's wait a little while longer." I say

"I feel that. Make sure it's serious enough. Aight." He smiles.

We walk out of the theater. He goes to the front door and I head upstairs.

It only took him five minutes to take her the toy and come back. I had already looked around his bedroom and checked out the massive closet. Everything was so clean and organized. I was impressed.

I was about to open one of his drawers to the dresser but his voice caught my attention.

"Find anything interesting?" He asks, leaning on the doorframe.

"Well, I didn't really go through anything. However, I did open the top drawer to one of your nightstands." I say

"And what did you find?"

"Nothing. I wasn't looking for anything like that. I love how organized you are though. Nothing really out of place." I say, looking around the room.

"You like that?" He walks over to me and places his hands on my hips.

"Yeah..." I put my arms around his neck.

"When am I gonna be able to come over and go through your things?"

"I don't know." I say. "I like no one knowing about us and I have a couple people living with me. Like I told you, I would like to keep this private as long as possible."

"It's all good, baby. I like you being over here with me." He says then kisses me.

We start making out for a few seconds. I couldn't part with his lips. It was like they weren't letting me pull away. He picks me up and sits me up on his dresser.

He puts his hand under my shirt, going for my bra and I stop him.

"I'm sorry, I can't."

"Why not?" He asks

"He is going to literally lose his mind when he finds out I'm seeing anyone. You see what he's doing with Joe and I."

".... Is this what you want?"

"Yeah, but there's other things too." I say

"Like?" He says kissing my neck.

"I'm having sex with someone else." I confess

He stops and looks at me. "Who?"

"Does that really matter?"

"Your bodyguard..." he says taking a step back.

I don't say anything.

"I knew it." He says

"But it's not what you think." I say. "He wants me to date other guys. It's me, it's not him. I feel weird taking that step with you. I don't want to be with you when I'm doing that with someone else... I'm nervous about this." I explain. "I'm nervous about having sex with someone new, and we haven't been talking that long...."

He smiles. "But we have. It's been months. Don't downplay this. Are you comfortable with me?"

"I am. That's why it's weird to me. You're a nice guy and I don't want what I'm doing to hurt you...or my exes to try to hurt you...I don't know. I don't think I'm ready for all of this yet. I probably shouldn't have come."

"Don't say that. Don't doubt this when you don't even know how this is going to progress. I get that you have second thoughts and that's okay but you have to move on at some point. I thought that was what you were trying to do."

"I am." I say

"So, let's talk about it." He kisses my neck one last time then lets go of me. "I'm not gonna pressure you into doing something you're not ready to do with me."

"I know I'm just—I don't know. I don't wanna talk." I say trying to avoid the conversation.

"Why not? We've been talking for a while now, all of a sudden you don't want to talk when it involves getting too deep."

"Yeah..."

"How can I know the person I'm trying to build something with if I don't know all of them?" He says

"You're right, but let's just do this on my time. I have to protect myself. I know you understand that."

"Fasho." He kisses my forehead. "It's all good, Love. We can take as much time as you need."

"Thank you." I say

He helped me down off of the dresser. "I was about to give it to you good." He jokes. I burst out laughing.

We walked back down to the theater and finished watching TV. I started thinking about Aubrey and the bullshit he's trying to pull in me. I shouldn't engage with his stupidity but it would make him so sick if I posted a guy on my Instagram. That would be the ultimate fuck you to him...well one of them. He would have a heart attack.

He was going through his pictures and I had my head resting on his shoulder. I wasn't looking at his phone but glanced at it.

"Can I have that?"

"This one?" He points to the picture.

"Yeah. I'm going to post it. If that's okay." I say

He laughs. "It's cool. I don't mind..." he says. There was a pause for a few seconds. "...you tryna make him mad?"

"I would say maybe he will stop with the rumors but I know he's not gonna do that. Instead of letting him continuously come up with things about me, why don't I just post you so people would know that I actually have somebody and he's just crazy." I say. "...That doesn't really make much sense does it?" I laugh at myself. I sound like Chris when I first met him. Oh my god.

"I get what you're trying to say but I don't think it's gonna do anything." He says. "Just post it though. See what happens. I like that you're posting me. You know he's gonna be tight."

"Yeah, but that's the part I don't care about." I say

"You should quote him in your caption." He says

"Now that's starting shit." I laugh

He shrugs his shoulders.

Instagram

Shawniemarie

Shawniemarie I guess it really is just me, myself and all my millions..... and him. 😉

*****

I show him my phone and he bursts out laughing.

"You're pushing it." He says. "I know you're trying to get a rise out of him and he's definitely going to say something about that."

"Maybe he will keep my name out of mouth and just be a coparent. We are over." I say, then I post it.

I sit there for a second and then Chris falls on my mind. I feel like I should've told him I was going to do this before I did it. He might be upset about this. Where the hell has Chris been? I haven't talked to him. I thought Genesis was with him but when I got home from Vegas, she was home with my dad. I texted him when I was in Vegas and he never responded back to me. He was on a date with Ammika, she's probably holding him hostage or something. Knowing her, she forbade him to talk to me. I have to call him as soon as I leave here. I wonder what's up?

I went to the text thread to make sure I didn't miss his text, but there was no response. My text is the only text. Then I go to my call log to see if I missed any calls from him, I haven't. He really hasn't called or texted me in a while. He's been communicating with my dad regularly since he's been here, but he hasn't talked to me. I wonder what I did now.

Something told me to go to his contact so that's exactly what I did. I looked around at all his information that was stored, then I saw the cause. He was blocked. Why is he blocked from my phone? I haven't blocked him. What the hell.

"Did you block Chris from my phone?" I ask

"How can I block him from your phone? I don't even have your password." He says. "You've never even given me your phone."

"I don't know how you did it. Why would you block him?"

"I didn't block him. Shawnie, what since does that make? That is your daughter's father." He says

"I didn't block him. Why would I do that? You don't like him."

"I never said I didn't like him. I don't even know him not to like him. Why would you think I would do something like that? I'm not that kind of person and you know I'm not. I would never do something like that." He says

"Then who blocked Chris from my phone?" I ask

"Who have you been around that doesn't like him?"

"Nobody. Everyone that I've been around doesn't have a problem with Chris, the only person who doesn't like Chris....is.... Aubrey."

"Have you been around him recently?" He asks

"I was around him. I had a very, very bad lapse in judgment, and I went over his house one day. I end up staying the night."

He looks at me like what the fuck. "Well, shit! When was this?" He asks, looking a little upset.

"Not now." I'm not even about to have that conversation with him. I wanna know who the hell blocked him from my phone. He can take care of his little issues later.

I go to Aubrey's thread, and I start to text him, but he snatched my phone out of my hand.

"Don't do it. Just let it go." He says

"No. He had no business going in my phone. I don't even know how he got my new password. He's fucking crazy..."

"Right, so just let it go." He hands me back the phone. "Just unblock Chris and keep it moving. He probably wants you to say something to him so he can talk to you. Getting into a text argument isn't gonna do anything, especially after you just posted that picture."

"You're right." I say

"I'm hurt that you think I would do something like that though."

"You don't know the shit that I've been through with them."

"Just because your ex or exes would do that doesn't mean I would too. I'm not like them. Don't put me in that category, babe." He says and I know he's right.

"You're right. I'm sorry." I say. "I kind of thought he was pass the petty shit but then again, I know I'm lying to myself. I know he isn't. I just didn't think he would do that, especially then."

"You have to learn not to let him get under your skin like that. I think it's obvious he does it on purpose and you let him and he probably likes it." He takes my hand. "I want you to know I would never do no childish bullshit like that. I'm trying to be serious about this and I know you got your situation with your bodyguard going on but I'm really trying to build something with you so I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize this."

"That's sweet. And I like that you're okay with what's going on right now."

"Well, I appreciate your honesty. You didn't have to tell me any of that and I'm new coming into this, so how can I make any demands right now. But for the record, I'm all about my career right now. I'm not talking to a bunch of different women. I don't have women texting my phone or popping up at my house or in my DM's... Well, I do have women in my DM's, but I don't respond. I'm all about my son and I'm trying to be all about you too."

"Don't be trying to spit game."

"I'm just being honest. Here..." he starts doing something on his phone and then, after a few seconds, he has the phone up to my face. "Put your face ID in my phone and whenever you feel the need, you can check."

"I don't want to check your phone. I know I've been through some shit but I don't want to check your phone." I say

"And that's cool. The only way I could assure you that nothing is going on is this and I would feel more comfortable if you would just put it in there so whenever you do feel the need to you can with no problem. I want to be as open with you as I can be."

"You're serious?" I can't believe he's serious about this. No man has ever done this before. Wow.

"Yeah, I'm dead ass serious. Take the phone." He says

I take the phone and I follow the steps to put my Face ID in his phone and give it back to him.

"And I don't want your password or anything. Not yet. When we're exclusive, I'll have it...but I trust you."

"I've been in about three exclusive relationships in my life, and none of them have ever had passcodes. I had my ex fiancé's, but that didn't really work cause he was still fucking around on me."

"The only thing I can say about your past relationships is I'm obviously nothing like them. I want to take this seriously. I understand you're dating right now, so I'm not gonna go too hard on you, but I think you should know what my intentions are." He says seriously.

I just smiled at him. "I feel like I got lucky."

"You did." He laughs. "I'm at the point of my life where all of that bullshit is childish to me. I'm looking to settle down and do right."

I sigh. "And I'm at a point in my life right now where I wanna date." I say

"... Because you just got divorced," he laughs. "As long as you don't lead me on to think one thing when it's another, I'm good. I like you a lot. And after having this conversation, right now, I'll be patient."

"Yeah, I got lucky."

No really, I think I got lucky with this one.

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