Shawnie's POV

After I took the girls shopping ,we headed back to the house to get ready for Chris's party. I was only going because Mercedes and Dori wanted me to go but I was kind of okay with the fact that I was going because they were with me. Plus, I haven't really had time to have much fun lately. I mean of course Aubrey and I have fun sometimes but I haven't really gone out. I've pretty much been home with the babies and in mommy mode 24/7. So I thought since I would be with both of them that it would be okay to let loose. all I really had to do was just steer clear of Chris. I mean I'm going to his house, so I'm going to talk to him, but I just needed to avoid those one on one situations.

I was prepared. 

It was around 930 pm and Mercedes arranged for Trey to pick us up and take us over to Chris's house. I don't know what's going on with them. They have taken a liking to each other and I'm not mad about it at all. Trey is going through a rough time and Mercedes is someone who doesn't mind having fun. Whatever it is, it's cute.

I was getting dressed and Aubrey was giving me the stank eye, and acting like he had an attitude. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable in anyway so I told Mercedes, Trey, and Dori it was okay for them to go and that I would meet them after I talked to Aubrey.

I walked them outside and held a conversation with Trey for about 10 minutes and then I came back in. As soon as I closed the door, I heard Aubrey calling me from the bedroom.

I walk into the bedroom and he's sitting there on the bed.

"Yes, baby?" I looked at him and his face didn't show any expression.

"In what world would you think it's okay for you to go to his house and I'll be okay with it?" He says

"I thought you would be cool because I was with my cousin and my friend. Mercedes wants to hang out with Chris. They're friends. I thought y'all smoothed things over, so I didn't see a problem with it."

"The problem is my wife wants to hang out with somebody that I don't like, who happens to be her ex. Someone she has a kid with." He says calmly. "Someone who continuously disrespects our marriage. You really expect me to be cool with the fact that you're going over to his house?" He gets louder. "The house that you lived in for years with him. Fucking him." He yells

"Why would you bring this up now? When we were talking about it earlier, why didn't you say anything?" I ask

"Because I didn't think you were that stupid that you would actually go through with it."

"Wow...stupid." I reiterate

"I don't mean it like that." He instantly folds.

"Yes you did." I throw my phone on the bed and I walk into the closet to find some shoes to wear and he follows me.

"I swear I didn't mean it like that but you should automatically know that I'm not gonna be okay with this. I don't want you over there. That motherfucker is steadily trying to break up your marriage and you're letting him." He yells

"He's not trying to break us up....he's trying to be friendly." I put my shoes on.

"You don't need to be his friend. Fuck him." He says but I don't say anything.

"Oh, now you're just gonna ignore me? You just gonna keep getting ready for this party that I don't want you to go to?"

"I'm not trying to argue with you Aubrey. I'm just letting you voice your opinion." I say calmly.

I really feel like he's trying to create an argument just so I can stay here. Because he knows me, if my mood is ruined I'm not gonna do anything.

"So now you're trying to downplay everything that I'm saying. It doesn't matter what I say, huh? You gonna go anyway, right?" He questions

I throw my hands up. "Aubrey, I don't know what you want me to say. You know you're my everything and I love you. Just because I'm going over there doesn't mean that shit isn't true. I'm going because they want me to go."

"No. You're going because you want to." he says

"Okay, yeah. I wanna go. I want to go because I just want to relax a little. I haven't been out in a long ass time and I just want to drink, get a little high, and just chill."

"You can do this shit at home. You don't need to be getting high around no other niggas but me. When you get high, you wanna fuck, and I'm not taking that chance."

"Oh my god. Are you serious right now?"

"Yes, I'm fucking serious." He says loudly.

"Aubrey, it's not that serious. You know I'm not going anywhere. We're married. I'm just going for a little bit then I'm coming back. Okay?"

I take my engagement ring off and sit it on the island. I put on my diamond wedding band he got me to take its place when I didn't want to wear the rock.

"Why are you taking off my ring?" He asks, dismissing everything I just said to him.

"What do you mean why am I taking off your ring? I'm going to a party. You want me there with this big ass rock on my hand. I'm putting on my wedding band. Is that a problem too?"

"Are you trying to feed the rumors that we broke up? Are you trying to start shit? I'm sure you are. That's why you was out with him today. You want people to think we broke up."He says

"Aubrey, what are you talking about? I don't want that, and you've never had a problem when I put this ring on before. You bought it specifically for this reason. Why all of a sudden you have an issue with it tonight?"

"Don't worry about it." He then walks out of the closet, slamming the door behind him.

I just stood there for a couple of seconds shaking my head, while putting on the rest of my jewelry. I don't know what's gotten into him. If he wants me to stay, that's all he has to say. He knows I'll do it. All he has to do is ask me.

I put on my jacket and then I go to walk out of the closet but the door won't open. I stop trying to open the door and I just stand there for a second. I'm trippin. I try to open the door again but its still not opening. It's locked. Then I hear Aubrey's voice.

"Yo ass ain't going nowhere." He says from the other side of the door.

"Aubrey, open the door." I yell

"I'm not opening the door until I get ready. Until then you can sit your ass in there and think about what's important in your life and in this marriage...and it ain't going out partying at Chris's house."

"What?" I say I'm disbelief. "Aubrey, open the door."

I don't hear anything else, all I heard was the bedroom door close and then it was silent. I banged on the door a few times and called his name but he never responded.

"This motherfucker locked me in here..." I say to myself. "I don't believe this shit."

I went through my pockets looking for my phone but then I remembered, I threw it on the bed before I came into the closet.

This motherfucker really just locked me in this closet.

I have no way of getting in contact with anyone because I didn't have my phone. I didn't have my MacBook or iPad. I was fucked. The only thing I could do was sit there and hope that he was just joking with me and he would come right back.

I sat in that closet for hours.

************

I don't know how long it was, but later on that night, I heard someone unlocking the door and I just sat there. I didn't move. I didn't know who it was and even if it was Aubrey, I didn't have anything to say to him.

The door opened and Aubrey stepped in with my cellphone in his hand. He looked at me. I just rolled my eyes and stood up.

"Before you say anyth—."

I cut him off, "Fuck you."

"I know this was fucked up but just—."

I cut him off again. "Fuck you."

"Baby, let me—."

"Fuck. You." I walk up to him and snatch my phone from him. I looked him in the eyes and I saw the remorse instantly but I don't care. Fuck him.

He grabs my wrist but I snatch away. "Fuck you, Aubrey."

I swing and slap the shit out of him, then I feel someone grab me by my waist from behind. They lift me up and pull me away from him.

"No! Put her down." Aubrey yells, rubbing his face.

Nate, one of his security guys, puts me down and I go right at him again. I push him into the wall and swing on him a few more times. He fell onto the ground and I was right on top of him, hitting him repeatedly in his face and head when he ducked. I was so livid. I was just swinging.

I've never been so violent in my life. Only Aubrey brings this out of me. I don't think I've ever hit one person so many times in my life. It's him.

His security pulls me off him again.

"Don't touch her! GET THE FUCK OUT!!" Aubrey yells at him.

I stood there as his security left the room. I then walked out of the closet. I don't know what he's about to do.

"Shawnie," He yells. "don't go. I'm sorry."

"Fuck you." I say again.

"I just wanted us to spend time together." He says and I just look at him like he's crazy.

"That doesn't even make sense." I wave him off.

I start walking towards the door and he hurries to grab me before I can open the door.

"I'm sorry. I panicked." He spits out.

"I don't care. Don't touch me." I snatch away from him. "Fuck you, Aubrey."

I open the door and I hurry to Gen's room. She was peacefully sleeping in her bed. I threw a bunch of things in a bag and picked her up.

"You're leaving? You can't go." He says walking in the room. He had a bloody mouth and was trying to clean it up with a towel.

"I'm not staying here with you." I say

"Where are you going to go?" He asks

"Away." I grab her bag and I walk out of the house as he follows me.

"Baby, come on. Let's talk about this. Don't leave."

I put Gen in her car seat and locked her in. She's still out, thankfully.

I go back in the house and do the same for Atlas.

"You can't take him." He said

"Yes, I can. I'm his mother. I'm taking him." I gently pick him up because he's sleeping as well and I walk out of the house, to my car.

"Shawnie... please don't do this. I want to talk this out and I want to explain why I did it." He says

"You said you panicked. You wanted to spend time with me. Blah, blah, blah. You good, I got you." I put Atlas in his car seat and buckled him in and closed the door.

I look at him and he's standing in front of the car door.

"Move!" I say

"Stay." He says calmly.

"No."

"If you leave with our kids this will be all over the place." He says

"Well maybe you should've thought about that before you locked me in your closet." I yell

"You know I'll find you. Just go back in the house so we can work all of this shit out." He says

"Aubrey, I need some time away from you. I will call you when I am ready to talk to you." I say

"When will that be? I'm leaving in a couple of days."

"I don't know. I'll call you." I say

"Shawnie, I'm wrong."

I push him away from the door, "I know you are...   Get out of my way."

He watches as I get in the car, lock the door and I start the car. He tried to open the door but he couldn't.

"Mami..."

I started having second thoughts. How I was feeling, I was going to leave him and I wasn't going to fold how I've done many times before. What he did was unforgivable and I don't think I will ever be able to forgive him for locking me in his closet for hours like I was some fucking animal.

Then I thought about Atlas. I'm married to his father and this isn't some casual relationship that I can just walk away from. This is my husband and I've always said that once I'm married there is no option for divorce.

Can we work through this?

I looked at him and he had tears in his eyes. He knew I was done. He knew this was over. I do feel like I'm done...but I can't just walk away from him like this. He is my husband.

I started to turn the car off but I had a flashback of the other night and I just thought to myself, something had to give. This shit is eating away at him and he's doing things out of anger and jealousy. If he can get his shit together we can go back to how everything was. Maybe if we go back to Toronto everything will go back to normal.

"Open the door." He says but I can't bring myself to do it. I just put my seatbelt on. I put the car in drive and I drove off.

I drove down through two checkpoint gates and pulled over to gather my thoughts. It was basically the middle of the night. Dori and Mercedes were still at Chris' house. I didn't really have anyone to call. So I had to call Chris.

"What's up, baby? Where you at?" Chris answers

"Hey, I know it's late and you have people over but I need a huge favor." I say getting right down to the point.

"What's up?"

"Can you come pick me and the kids up?"

"Hold on..." he says. I hear the party's still going on and it sounds like there's still a lot of people there.

I hear the noise get quieter, and quieter, then I hear what sounds like a door closing.

"Okay. Pick you and the kids up? What's going on?" He asks

"I know you're in the middle of your party but I wouldn't ask if I didn't need you." I say almost in tears. I need to hold my shit together.

"Where are you?" He asks

"I'm in my neighborhood. Right where you turn in, at the first gate. I don't want to leave until you get here."

"I'll be there as quickly as I can." He says

"Okay. Thank you." I say

"Sit tight." He says then we end the call.

I turned around and I looked at both sleeping kids and I sat back in my seat. Am I really about to leave this man? I really feel like this is something that could end our relationship, but I know it's not just a regular relationship, it's a marriage and I feel like I need to try a little harder. I just refuse to end up like my parents. I wanna stay with him but I feel so smothered by him sometimes and I just need a little time to think without him on top of me.

I started playing with my phone in my hand and I remembered what he said. He has a tracker on the car and I know he can see my location. So, I went into my settings and I turned my location completely off. I don't want anyone to be able to look me up at all. I'm going to leave his car right here and get in the car with Chris when he gets here. I'm going to text him to let him know where his car is, not that he probably doesn't already know but I'm gonna let him know where to get it and from then on he shouldn't know where I'm going unless he has me followed. Knowing him, that's exactly what he's doing but that's something that I guess I can't avoid.

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