Shawnie's POV

A couple of hours later, Aubrey had texted me that he was here and on his way to the hotel. Joe and I were already there. I asked Mercedes to watch the kids while I did this. I didn't know what was going to happen and I didn't want them around.

Joe sat outside in the living room on the sofa while I was in the bedroom with the double doors wide open. I don't think he's too happy with me right now but I kinda feel this is something I have to do. I one hundred percent believe we need closure because this was an emotional relationship for me. I would like to think this will turn out well and be exactly what we need, but it's up in the air.

I was sitting in the chair in the bedroom when I heard them walk into the suite and I heard Joe say she's in the bedroom, so I knew he was coming. I instantly got nervous. I don't know what is about to happen. I haven't seen him in a while and I feel like I knew where his head was but I wasn't sure.

I heard his footsteps and he came around the corner and oh my god, why is he so damn fine. Ugh. I hate that he is just so sexy to me. All he gotta do is flash that.....

He smiles at me. "Hey!"

.... That fucking smile. I just love it. Okay, get it together and focus. Fuck him vibes only. We're not feeling him at all. Be strong.

"Hey!" I put on a fake smile to hide what I was thinking about.

He turns around and closes the double doors behind him.

"Oh you don't have to do that. Leave them open." I say

"Nah, it's cool. We need privacy." He says locking the door. He turns around and looks at me. He looks me up and down. "They can get in if they need to."

"Okay." I say fixing my clothes. I'm nervous. It feels weird seeing him after all this time. Dare I say I missed his face.

"Don't be nervous." He chuckles and walks over to me. He takes my hands and brings them up to his mouth and he kisses the back of them. "I've missed seeing your face so much. You're still so beautiful." He says brushing my hair down with his hand.

"It's only been a few weeks..." I remove my hands from his grasp. "So yeah...."

"Wait. Why so formal?" He studies my expressions for a few seconds, squinting his eyes. He placed his hands on my hips and pulls me into him. "I said I missed you, you don't miss me, Mami?"

"Of course I do but this is serious. We're getting a divorce and we have to talk about some things."

He hugs me and I one arm hug him back. He stuffed his face in my hair and smelled me. "I miss the smell of your hair." He says

He pulls away but doesn't go too far. His face gets closer to mine. His lips were so close, but he didn't kiss me. "I wanna talk to you too....but I miss you so much. I'm trying to enjoy the little time I have with you."

"Aubrey—."

"No. Listen...I want to do right by you. I want my wife. I wanna make it up to you." He kisses my lips.

"It's too late." I say against his lips. I feel my body get warm.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Pull yourself together girl. Damn!

"It's not too late, Mami." He says pulling me closer to him, our bodies up against each other.

He puts my arms around his neck and slides his hands down my sides, going under my skirt. He squeezes my ass then slides them under my panties and pulls them down at the sides. I quickly object.

"No. Aubrey..."

"I miss that cat, let me taste it one more time." He smiles

"No. Everyone is in the living room."

"Shhhh...if you're quiet they won't hear. They don't need to know what we're doing in here." He pushes them down and they fall to my ankles. "We may be getting divorced, but we don't have to stop this." He smiles and walks me backwards towards the bed. "I know you love it and I know you want it."

I sit down on the bed and he lays me back, getting on his knees. He looks up at me and smiles.

"...and I know you can't resist me." He says

I sigh, ".....I can't." I say, disappointed in myself but I know what he's trying to do, and it's not going to work. I'm just horny and like I've said before, why not. He's here and willing. I'm not changing my mind about the divorce, so I can get some head. It's gonna fuck up his head, not mine.

He pushes my legs back and holds them there. He starts eating it and it's hard not to make a sound. It feels good.

He chuckles and stands up, then puts my hand over my mouth. "Shhh.." he says

He goes back to work and a few minutes later, here I am moaning again.

"Breathe." he says again, but dives right back in.

I focus on trying to control my breathing and being quieter, but he was really eating it good and I was super close. I put both of my hands over my mouth and just let my orgasm happen. I tried my hardest not to make any noise, but I definitely enjoyed it. I literally had to kick him off of me because he would not stop. He just kept going, and if I didn't move him, I probably would've screamed.

He stood up, wiping his face and smiled down at me. "I know you missed me. You can't get rid of me if you wanted to. You can't say no to me."

I didn't say anything, I just smiled. He came in closer and kissed me, I kissed him back. And then he dropped his pants and pulled out his dick. It was hard as a rock. He pulled me to the edge of the bed and covered my mouth.

"Take this dick like you used to." He says entering me.

I haven't had sex with him in I don't know how long. I haven't had sex at all. I guess that's a good thing on my part, because I needed to stop fucking him but I was really enjoying it.

"Damn, I've missed being inside of you." He says. "You been giving my pussy away." He says, closing his eyes.

I shake my head no.

After a few seconds, he stops. "Answer me."

"I haven't." I say

He smiles, then continues. "You miss Papi's dick don't you?" He grips the bed and starts deep stroking, making me kinda become undone.

"You gotta be quiet." He says with a smile. He turns me over and moves me to the middle of the bed. He takes a pillow and puts it under me to moan in. He lays me down on my stomach and goes back in.

"Mami, you feel so good. I can stay in this shit forever." He whispers in my ear.

We had to have sex that way because I was moaning like crazy and I just get to the point where I can't take it and I said fuck it. Thankfully that pillow was there because I cannot control it anymore.

He came inside of me and I was upset with myself for letting him do it. I've been on birth control since the miscarriage but I still didn't want to chance it. That shit be failing sometimes.

He pulled out, grabbed my face and kissed me. After a few seconds, he pulled away and just stared at me.

"You can't get rid of me." He smiles then he turns to walk into the bathroom to clean himself up. He came back out with a towel and handed me my panties.

We kinda laugh at what had just happened because we are NOT supposed to be doing this. We are in the middle of a divorce and we came here to talk about that and try to work out whatever little details we need to work out for it, but here we are having sex.

We get ourselves together, I straighten up the bed, and we both take a seat on the sofa. This actually probably makes this conversation a lot easier because we are more relaxed. It still shouldn't have happened though.

"Okay." I turn to face him. "Now that that's out of the way, we need to talk about what's going to happen."

He smiles. "What's gonna happen is, ima give you another 20 mil, and you gon give me this pussy again, then you gonna say fuck divorcing me."

I laugh. ".....Aubrey?"

"Yeah, I'm serious." He says

"That's trying to buy me."

"You're married to me. I already bought you." He jokes

I just roll my eyes. "That's so disrespectful to say."

"I'm joking baby." He says, laughing.

"Yeah, right."

"Okay, look, I'm giving you everything you want." he says seriously. "The only thing I want is to keep my house and the team. You can have everything else. I told you I will buy you a house. I don't care about the cost, just pick it out. The jet is already ordered. We can negotiate a number for child and spousal support." He says

"I just don't understand the point of mediation if everything is already figured out. We need to talk to our lawyers so they can get on the same page as us. This mediation doesn't need to happen."

"I agree. It's just my team doesn't want me to go this route." He says unsure.

"But it's ultimately your decision. So you need to talk to them and tell them you don't want to do mediation and we've come to an agreement. I don't want to drag this out." I say

"I'll talk to them. I'm gonna keep my word on that but I just got to ask one last time... give me one more chance." He says

"I'm tired of giving you one more chance. You never do anything with your chance." I say. "Every time I break down and give you another one, nothing happens." I say

"Is it somebody else? Are you cheating on me?" He asks and I look at him like he's crazy. "I'm just saying, I'm always able to bring you back. It's like this time I can't."

"You manipulate me into giving you more chances and I'm sick of it. You never change, Aubrey. I can't keep living in that cycle. And on top of that, you know that's not the only reason I left. Physical harm is where I draw the line. I stayed longer than I should've. I would've left right then and there but you were my husband, I tried to stay but I couldn't look past that." I say

"I'm sorry for that, Mami. I really am. I beat myself up about that everyday that I don't wake up to you. I regret everything. Me putting my hands on you was the worst thing I've ever done in my life. I hated myself for that. I just didn't know how to cope with that shit." He says and I genuinely believe that. I believe he is being very genuine and open in this conversation, but I have to tread lightly because any wrong thing I say he can take it to heart and change into the evil person I know he can be. I can't live like that.

"It's kind of sad that you fucked this up because I really, really would have done anything for you. I did everything I could on my end to keep us together. I was determined to keep us together and make this marriage work. My family literally does not talk to me because of decisions I made in favor of you. People talk about me because I wanted this to work with you. I just can't do it anymore." I say

"I know." He says

"I took a lot of chances and made a lot of sacrifices for you, and I feel like the things that you've done to me, outside of our marriage, was just a slap in the face. I'm not saying I was perfect because I know I wasn't. I know I made impulsive decisions sometimes. I know I get very emotional and I know sometimes I can be the opposite of that and I shut down. I hold a lot of things in and I can hold a grudge. I don't want to get started with my past situation because I know that's a sensitive subject for you, but if we're being honest, that pretty much stemmed this whole situation we have going on right now. On both parts. It's just everything surrounding this was wrong. I know you know that."

"Of course I know that. I was wrong in a lot of ways when it came to him." He says. "I was wrong after we got together, and I should not have married you knowing I had those feelings towards him and your relationship. I tried to bury them and just go with the flow, but eventually got to me. I can admit that."

"So now we're here." I say with a smile.

"Yeah." He says. You can tell this is still bothering him. I know he doesn't want this divorce but I do, and I am not changing my mind on this matter. There's nothing he can say, or do to force me to change my mind either.

"I think we've done a pretty good job with coparenting. The only thing I ask, is that if you take him anywhere just let me know. I'm all for you spending as much time with him as possible. I want us to be on good terms, and I want us to work as coparents. It's just this marriage....Like...I don't wanna say it."

"Just say it." he says

"You're bad for my health. Like, literally. I've been depressed these last few months and I've been trying to hide it. I've been drinking like crazy and I was high the majority of the time. That break did me so much good but when I got here and had to really think about the shit that was happening, I couldn't believe I let that shit happen. You hate Joe, but he kept me sane. You need to thank him because I don't know what I would've done."

"But you ended up on his lap and your tongue down his throat." He says. I'm starting to feel the energy in the room shift.

"... I don't have any words for that. I don't know what to tell you. Maybe we just got caught up in the moment, I don't know." I am not about to tell him about the feelings that Joe and I supposedly have for each other, or maybe it's just that we spend so much time together, that we think we like each other a little bit, I don't know. What I do know is, I am not about to go down that path with Aubrey.

"I can accept, well, I don't accept it, but I can understand that you guys have been spending a lot of time together and maybe you did get caught up in a moment. But what you cannot explain to me is how I go home and I see pictures of you and somebody that I thought was my boy." He says

I sigh, this again.

"But I can explain that. I told you exactly what happened. There's nothing going on between him and I. We literally ran into each other in the lobby of the hotel that we both were staying at. I didn't know he was there." I say

He looks at me for a long few seconds. "Okay." He says. "That's all I can say about the situation. I can't say you're lying about it because I don't know. I haven't talked to him. And I feel like if some shit like that was what was going on and that you really didn't know, then he should've called me and been like bro that's some bullshit, something. But I got nothing from either one of y'all and that's what makes me feel like yallI was on some sneaky shit. But if that's the case, that's fucked up. I know I did my dirt, but you doin don't know any of them bitches."

"There's nothing going on between him and I, there's nothing going on between Joe and I. I am separated from my husband and going through a divorce. That's it. There's no other man in my life." I explain

He stands up and holds his hand out. I take it and he helps me to my feet. He licks his lips, "Yeah?"

"Yes." I say

"I know you want me, so I'm just trying to figure out why you're putting yourself through this and leaving me?" He say

"The same reason you left me to go cheat...because you wanted to."

"I still got you though." He smirks.

"Whatever." I roll my eyes.

He grabs me and forcefully kisses me and I kiss him back.

"See." He says and I stay silent.

He puts his hands on my shoulders and just looks at me for a few seconds without saying anything. He fixes my hair, then pulls me into a hug. I hug him back. No harm there. He held the hug for a long time, then he sat his chin on the top of my head.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." He says, then buries his face in my hair, smelling it again. "This is hard for me, so I'm just gonna leave." He hugs me tighter for a few seconds then lets go. He kisses my forehead, then walks away towards the door.

Man, I honestly didn't think it would be this hard going through a divorce. Of course, I've never been through one. I've only been through break ups, but even though we were having so many issues, it's still very emotional and kind of traumatic if I'm being honest. I wasn't ready for that part of it, nor did I know I was going to go through this. I feel bad because I feel like I'm hurting him, and that's the last thing I want to do. I'm always trying to avoid hurting him. I know I can go on and talk about how he didn't care about my feelings with how he was acting and treating me, but I'm sensitive to his feelings because Aubrey is sensitive. I honestly hate that part of me. That's the part that always makes me go back on my word, or fold for him.

"Aubrey...Wait." I say

What did you think about this chapter and what do you think is going to happen next??