Shawnie POV

I had just put both of the kids down for the night and I was sitting outside on the patio smoking. Joe came outside and sat at the table across from me. He came in from his run and went to shower and now he's here. We kinda needed to talk about what happened earlier. The day went on as if it didn't happen. Everything was normal and not awkward but we just needed to have a conversation about it and I think he knows that and that's why he's out here now.

"Car was delivered."

"Oh cool! I know you can't wait to drive it." I say. "I'll get the title transferred into your name as soon as possible."

"Are you sure you want to give it to me? I thought once it got here you would change your mind."

"Nope. I would love for you to have it. You would appreciate it so much more than I would." I say

"Wow. Thank you." He says. "What did Trey want?" He asks

"He wanted me to fill him in on what happened on the trip."

"Meaning me and Chris?" He says

"That was part of it."

"Figures." He says

"I told him that's between y'all. He thinks it has something to do with some personal shit. I told him no."

"What's wrong is wrong." He says and I agree.

"But everyone thinks something is going on between us."

He laughs.

"Yeah, about that." He says

Not gonna say, I didn't wanna have this conversation but I guess I'm not ready for it yet. It can make things awkward.

"Okay, so..." he says. "I wanted to talk about what happened earlier."

"It's okay. I wasn't mad or anything like that. I don't want you to think that. And when I made the comment not to let it happen again, I wasn't serious—I mean, I was serious—but not like, super serious..." I pause for a second to think about what I'm trying to say. "It shouldn't happen again—I mean...I wasn't trying to be mean when I said it and I wasn't trying to discipline you or anything...."

"No, I know. I'm a little upset with myself for doing it. Even though you're fine that it happened, it was very unprofessional on my part and I wanted to apologize if I put you in an awkward position. You're married and you're going through all of this emotional stuff and I hate to see you like that. I don't want you to think that I'm using your vulnerability against you. That isn't an excuse for me kissing you but things just happened and that just happened. I'm sorry."

"It's totally fine. You're right, I'm very vulnerable right now and I feel like I'm not making a lot of the right decisions. I kissed you back because I wanted to. I wanted to feel something other than hurt or anger... And I'm sorry I did that."

"You were rebelling. It's all good." He smiles

"So we're good?" I ask

"Yes." He says

"Okay, good. I didn't want things to get awkward between us."

"Well, that happened this morning and we've been cool all day, pretty stupid for things to get awkward now." We both laugh.

"True."

"Anything happen with Drake?" He asks

"No. He was so pissed off that I left those papers for him."

"I'm sure he's gonna pop up sometime soon. If he can't get to you through the phone, the only other option is to show up."

"I know but I really thought that he would be able to maturely handle this situation. If he loves me as much as he says he does, he should just give me what I want. I want to be divorced." I say

"That's wishful thinking. He told you out of his own mouth that he's not gonna let you go easily and you choose not to believe him."

"Yeah but he also said that he would sign them. This has been going on for months now. It's not like I blindsided him. I've asked him numerous times to help me fix our marriage, but he chose to completely ignore me, even avoiding me sometimes, and who can continue to deal with a person like that?"

"I agree. I would've been able to deal with someone like that either.." he says

"I think it's absolutely ridiculous that he married me and thought that if I had a problem, I wasn't gonna say anything about it. Our relationship was stronger when we first got married but in a sense it kind of made us weaker towards each other. I don't regret marrying him because we both made the decision to do it. But since we've been back in LA that has deteriorated."

"Only thing you can do is worry about yourself and your kids. If you're going to go through with this divorce then they should be your main priority. If you decide that you want to try to work things out then that's fine but even through that, your main focus should be you." He says

"I know. That's exactly what I plan on doing, that's exactly what I've been doing. Ever since I've been in San Diego I feel so much better overall as a person. Making the decisions that I've been making and for the most part standing on them and not letting anyone change my mind is very refreshing for me and honestly it's a little different. I've made decisions like this before but I went back on them but I just refuse to go back to Aubrey now. I've given him plenty of chances to try to make things work between us, meet me halfway, he did none of those things." I say

"You are very different from when I first met you. You seem more confident in yourself and it's a good look for you."

"When I met you I was kind of already fed up with everything and I was even fed up with myself because I knew I was folding for him and I knew he was manipulating me and I still did it. So I was pretty upset with myself and when I met you I just felt like it was meant to be. No one has ever done anything like that for me, besides Chris and it's different because I was his girlfriend. You were a total stranger and I felt like I needed to get to know you."

"I felt it too. I never said anything but that night I didn't want you to go back with them. I felt like I should've stood up for you. I felt like I should've said something but I just let them take you in and I really felt that I would not see you again and that really bothered me. When you showed up at my room the next morning, I was so relieved because I was worried about you all night. So I do feel like it was meant to be as well."

"I know I've said it a couple of times before but I really do appreciate you. You're a really good friend and the advice that you've given me has really helped me, especially through these last couple of months." I say

"I would say the same thing, I appreciate you. You know what went on with my sister still weighs heavily on me and in an odd way you've kind of helped me with that. I mean of course I can't bring her back and it still hurts but I'm a little bit more accepting of the situation now."

"That's good to hear. I went through it. I know it's hard. And as time goes on you learn to accept it and then life gets easier but I know you think about her every day. I think about my mom multiple times a day and I've really been thinking about her a lot lately because she's always told me to control the situation and that is something that I've been trying to do my whole life. I am trying to control the situation with Aubrey right now because I feel that that is something that I need to stand on. I have to stick with my decision but it's very hard for me to relinquish control. Throughout the course of mine and Aubrey's relationship, I've relinquished control. I think he's so upset because I've taken control over this situation when I've always let him control shit. It's different for him and he hates that I'm not giving into him."

"You want a drink?" He asks. "I want a drink..."

I laugh, not because it's funny but because what is he talking about? Joe barely drinks.

"I'll have a drink...But I think after tonight, I'm going to stop drinking." I say "I get too emotional when I'm drinking."

"We can do it together..." He smiles and walks into the house.

A couple of minutes later, he comes back out with two glasses and a bottle of Hennessy. But following behind him I see Dorian, holding a glass too.

I jump up. "Oh my goodness! What are you doing here?"

She runs over to me and hugs me. "I could let you go through this and me not be by your side. I kind of felt like I was abandoning you and I didn't want you to think that. So I packed some bags and booked a flight back to Cali. Joe arranged a car to pick me up and bring me back."

"I'm so happy to see you." I say squeezing her tight.

"I felt like you needed me." She says as we pull apart.

"I do." I say

We both take a seat next to each other.

Joe sits a glass in front of me and the other in front of him and he pours some in the glasses.

"Hennessy, huh?" I say

"Yup." He smiles

"I don't really drink this."

"Just have a little." He says

"Peer pressure? Okay, Joe." I laugh

After he takes a sip then looks at me. "So you're going to stop drinking, what about smoking?"

I hold up my blunt and Dori laugh at me.

"I can tell that calms you. But if you have a problem, which I don't think, I'll help you through that."

"No. I don't have a problem." I say

"I'm just saying, if you want to stop, I can help."

"I appreciate that, Joe. Thank you." I say taking hit. ".....So Joe?"

"What's up?"

"Why are you drinking?"

"We're celebrating." He says

"What?" I ask

"You finally giving him divorce papers."

"HELL YEAH!!" Dori yells and he laughs.

"Soo...." I take a sip from my glass. "I wanna have some fun...not too much fun, but let loose a little."

"Okay..." he says nervously.

"Oh, shit!" Dori says

"If the dating gods decide to bless you with a girlfriend, if she asked for a hall pass and told you could have one too, who would you pick?" I ask

"Umm, don't judge me. JLo." He covers his face.

"JLo? Wow!"

Dori and I laugh.

"What can I say, childhood dreams stay alive." Joe says. "What about you Dori?"

"Don't just me either, but I've had a crush on Mark Wahlberg for as long as I can remember and if I get the chance, I'm going whether it's okay or not." She laughs

"Wow!" I say

"And you?" Dori says. "This is going to be good!"

"My celebrity crush, Jason Momoa. Duh! I think everyone knows that."

"Oh yeah..." he laughs. "That's right. Aquaman himself."

"I'm gonna meet him and we're gonna fall in love." I joke

"I support your dreams." He says and we all laugh.

"If Jason Momoa was to walk through this door right now, would you cheat?" She asks

"Right now?"

"Yes. With everything going on in your life right now, would you?"

I take a few seconds to really think about this question. Everything in me says yes, but I know that I'm just not gonna go and physically cheat on my husband worth's random person.

"That's a complicated question because there's a lot of things that factor into why a woman would cheat. Yeah I have a crush on him but what if he's a complete asshole?"

"But what if everything is perfect? What if you meet him and he is feeling you and you like him and you like his vibe, could things go that way?"

"Just say yes." Joe says laughing. "Ain't no need to fake the funk. Hall pass or not, that's your dream guy."

"I probably would." I laugh. "Especially right now. I would be all over him."

"Exactly my point." He says

Just then we hear the doorbell ring, and my mind instantly goes to it being Jason at the door. I'm sure it's not, it's a great thought, but I know it's not.

Joe goes into the house to answer.

"You've been okay?"

"Yeah, I've been fine—."

My phone rings. I look at the screen and I see it's Jason Lee calling. I silence it and sit my phone back down.

"Drake?"

"No. Jason Lee." I say

"What does he want?"

"I don't know but I'm scared. I don't want to talk to him. I thought I could try to use him to my advantage. You know have him promote positive stories about me but I don't know. He's been calling me for the last week."

"Answer."

"No. Anyway, oh my goodness, I have to tell you something." I say

"What?"

"Joe kissed me." I say

WHAT?" She yells

"I know. Just shut up and we'll talk about it later."

"I knew it. I fucking knew it." She says happily.

"We'll talk later..."

My phone dings and I see it's a text message.

Jason: Bitch I don't want an interview. I told you I had news for you. Now I've been sitting on this for too long. Ima run this story soon if you don't call me back.

I get chills reading the text. I don't know what to do. I feel like I don't wanna know what he has to tell me. I feel like this is gonna be bad.

I put my phone down on the table as I see Joe walking back in and Mercedes behind him. I just roll my eyes because I'm not ready to have this conversation. I know all Trey did was go back and tell her exactly what I said and maybe she's feeling bad and decided to come see me right away, but I need to prepare for shit like this. So now I'm a little irritated. Ruining my vibe.

"Look who's here." Joe says, smiling.

"Did you apologize to Joe?" I say

"Yes, I just did."

"Well, that's good but I really don't wanna see you right now. I'm not in the mindset to deal with whatever you have to say."

"Come on, Shawnie. Don't do that." Joe says, "Let her explain herself."

"Fine." I take a big sip of my drink.

"I don't have any explanation for going off how I did. The only thing that I can say is I was just over everything. You brought us all the way there just to turn around and be friends with this person. All I was thinking is this was the bitch who literally broke you guys up, and then you're crying about Drake and whining because you don't want to get a divorce. I was just over it. That's the only explanation I have. So I kinda went off." She explains

"I get that. And I already know that. But I have to be mature about the situation. I can't take the Mercedes route and just beat everybody up or make them go missing. This is my daughter's father. If he decides he wants to be with her, I can't say anything about it. I just have to make it work. That's all I'm trying to do. I understand your loyalty to me, that's not the problem. The problem is if I say she's fine, then you have to respect that and just go with it until I tell you not to go with it anymore. You don't have to like the situation. This really isn't even your situation to like or dislike. Now I also understand that you want to be loyal to Chris as well. I respect that. But with that loyalty, it's still what I say. Just like you fell in line in Chicago when Aubrey, and I got together, ima need you to do the same thing with this."

"I'm sorry, Queen Shawnie." she says sarcastically. "It'll never happen again."

"Good." I say, smiling. I feel like I should be harder on her, but I also know that she's my cousin and I know she's looking out for me.

"Glad that's over......Soooo, you wanna go out tonight?" Dori says with a big smile on her face. "Are we still celebrating?"

I think about it for a minute. "...You know where I wanna go?"

"Where?" She says

"Vegas." I say

"Back to where it all started, huh?" Joe laughs

"Where what all started?" Mercedes asks

"Where Shawnie and I met." He says

"Oh yeah! That would be nice for y'all." She says

"We weren't saying it like that. Damn, you always have to make something seem like it's something." I say

"Are we going or not, because I need to prepare myself."

"I'll book it." I say. "We can leave tomorrow."

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