Shawnie's POV

Later that night, after dinner that wasn't so much a dinner, the girls and I went out to a local lounge. It was very laid-back and there weren't a lot of people there. That was so good because I honestly didn't want to deal with anyone trying to take my picture or even just trying to hold a conversation with me. Plus I was out with Jasmine, Chris' current girlfriend, or whatever. That shit will be all over the place if they knew about it.

Jasmine was right. I said I was tired because I didn't want to hang out with them together. I did feel some kind of way about seeing it and yes I was a little jealous but it wasn't to the point where I was upset. I just don't feel I'm ready for that yet. Like I said, I like her. She seems very cool, but I need a little more time before I'm able to fully accept their relationship or whatever they're doing.

When I told Mercedes that we were going to all go out she was not for it at all. So little did I know, back in Tarzana, Jasmine had been talking a lot of shit and Mercedes heard her. Since she was over Chris' house with Trey all the time, Jasmine must've thought she was a random person, and not my cousin. She said she just let her talk and she was just going off about how she didn't like me. Honestly, I'm not really bothered by it because even though I really didn't talk too much shit about her. I simply just don't care. We were at a point where we didn't like each other because of the incident that happened between us but I'm over it. And I want my cousin to get over as well. She's not so forgiving.

So it was just the four of us, and we were all actually having a really good time just getting to know Jasmine, and her getting to know us as well. Honestly, it was like she wasn't even Chris's girlfriend, she was one of the girls. I hate to say it, but she really fit in with us. That doesn't mean I'm gonna make her my best friend and we're gonna go out often but things were pretty cool. I was digging it. What I wasn't really feeling is when the conversation turned towards me and they started talking about life after Drake.

"Now that you're officially on the road to divorce, who can we find for you?" Mercedes says

"Not officially. Find for me? I don't want anyb—."

I was cut off by my cousin speaking loudly. "Oh my gosh! I know!!"

"Who?" Dori asks

"Tyler Lepley. He's so your type." Mercedes says excitedly

"Yes, he's my type but I wanna take a break from that. Plus, he looks too much like my exes."

"That's true." Dori says

"You're going to laugh at me but what about Terayle?" Mercedes says

"Girl..." I push her away from me. "Stop!"

We both start laughing super hard.

"Who is that?" Dori asks

"This actor who looks like Chris. If I talked to either one of them, I'd be talked about so bad."

"It was only a joke." She laughs.

"Not that I'm looking, but I want something different." I say

"Different like what?"

"I don't know. I'm not looking or even starting to think about that." I say

"Different like...Joe different?" Dori smiles

I smile. "No."

"I see the way y'all be looking at each other. I keep saying that." Mercedes says

"No, you said the way he looks at her." Dori corrects her.

"Well now it's the way they look at each other. She's avoiding it, but he adores her and I believe he's fighting the urge to speak up. I think she's been thinking about it but won't admit it."

"Joe works for me. That's all." I say. "I'm not avoiding anything."

"Wait a minute! You're sleeping with your bodyguard." Jasmine asks

"I'm not. The girls seem to think something is going on, but everything is basically professional between us."

"Basically professional. Yeah, okay. There is nothing professional going on with them." Mercedes says

"What she means is just that Joe and I have conversations that probably a employer should not be having with their employee, but they don't understand that they are not around too often because they are too busy fucking on Trey, but Joe is pretty much the only person that is around me all day and all night." I explain

"Gotcha. I mean, he is hot too." she says

"I think if you're gonna talk to him, I think you should wait until the divorce is final."

"I am not thinking about talking to him in that way at all. Aubrey seems to think something is going on and it doesn't help that when they see Joe and I out, it throws fuel on the fire. No lines have been crossed on either side. There is nothing secretive going on. It's like a business relationship, with my friend."

"...that you were photographed with, looking like you guys were embracing each other." Mercedes says

"OMG! That's just how the picture looked. We were not embracing each other. Mercedes, you know how I am with water. I got in for the first time ever and I was nervous. The water was knocking me off balance a little bit, and he was stabilizing me, making sure I didn't fall over." I explain

"Yeah, right." She says, like she doesn't believe me.

"At this point, I'm just gonna stop explaining everything to you because you don't believe anything I say. If I'm telling you nothing is going on, nothing is going on. Don't you think you would be the first to know?"

"I don't know nowadays, you tell Joe everything." She says and I just roll my eyes.

"Changing the subject..." I say

"Yes, let's change the subject." Jasmine sides with me. "I did have a question, if it's okay to ask. It's about you and Chris."

"Yes." I answer

"When was the last time you guys had sex?"

"Whoa!" Mercedes says

"I don't mean it in a disrespectful way. I just simply want to know. Him, and I have been intimate, and often. I just want to know when the last time was."

"That's a little personal don't you think?" Mercedes asks

"Yeah, but the question is okay." I say. "We had a conversation earlier about something that was way more personal, so this is good. Chris and I had sex a few days before my birthday, which was a while ago." I alert truthfully.

"Yeah, but a while ago meaning..." She asks fishing for an exact date.

"You don't know when that was? Did he tell you that he was bringing Genesis down to San Diego?" I ask

"No." She says

"Oh... well then I kind of feel like that's a question you should ask him because I thought you would've known he was bringing his daughter down to me. Now I don't necessarily feel comfortable having this conversation because I feel like I'm telling on him in a way." I say

"I'm not asking you to snitch on him, that's not what this is. I just wanna know for myself. Honestly, I didn't plan on saying anything to him. You guys made it clear that you've had sex so I just wanted to know for my own sanity."

"I get that." Dori says

"I know we're trying to have some type of friendship but let me just text him and make sure it's okay because I'm sorry but my loyalty is with him. If he says it's okay then I'll share that information. Other than that I'm going to tell him that he needs to talk to you."

"Okay.." she says.

I pull out my phone and I text Chris

Me: Hey. Jasmine wants to know the last time we had sex is it okay if I tell her? And she just told me that you never let her know you were down in San Diego so that is the reason why I'm asking.

I sent a text and I waited for him to respond. It was only about 30 seconds. I went by before my phone was indicating I had a text from him.

Chris: Let her know everything. I'll talk to her when I see her.

Me: Everything? This kind of feels like you're making me do your dirty work.

Chris: Maybe a little but I'm going to talk to her as soon as she gets back to the house. I'll handle it.

I just say okay, and I put my phone back in my purse.

"Okay..." I cut into their conversation. "So he told me it was okay to tell you everything and said he will talk to you when you get back."

"This sounds like there's a lot to the story."

"So he came down to San Diego because he had a couple of free days and that was literally the only time he could bring her. Nothing shady about that. We spent some time together with our daughter. He knew he was gonna be gone for my birthday, so later that night, we had dinner and ended up sleeping together."

"Did you use a condom?"

"No."

"How you not gonna use a condom and you married?" Mercedes says

"It's Chris. I think we've literally used a condom twice since we've known each other. And that was the first time we had sex and one time I made him put it on, but we were halfway into it."

"So you guys never use a condom?" Jasmine asks

"No."

"We always use one." She says

I didn't have any words for her, so I just took a sip of my drink and acted like I was still drinking when I was done because I don't know how to respond to that.

"Like every time?" Dori asks

"Yes."

I look over and Joe and see he looks a little lonely, so I think this is my cue to exit the booth and give them a little time to change the subject.

"I'll be back." I quickly slide out of the booth and make my way over to Joe.

"Hey." I say, as I sit down at his table. He was on his phone.

"What's up?" He sits his phone down.

"You want a drink?" I ask

He shakes his head no.

"You okay?" I ask

"Yeah...I needed to talk to you about something though. Is now a good time? You're drinking."

"Now, yes. Later, no." We laugh. "If we talk now I'll remember the conversation."

"Okay. Going back to what we were talking about a couple weeks ago, I want you to stop paying me." He says

"Why?" I look at him confused. He's quitting on me? This is the last thing I need and this is a horrible time for him to do this.

"I feel like I shouldn't be getting paid for this. I consider you a friend and I feel a way taking money from you."

"I consider you to be a friend too, but I offered you employment for my protection. I pay you more than I should to make sure you stay. Is there something wrong? Did I do something?"

"No—of course not." He says

"Is it Aubrey?"

"No. He's definitely not the problem, I can handle him. It's none of that. It just feels weird with us being so close and you're paying me. I want to protect you, I want to be there for you but it just doesn't really feel like work." He explains

"Oh, I get it. Listen, you're good at what you do. I've been well protected since you've been here, and when you're around I'm at ease. I don't have to worry when we're together and for that I would pay out as much as I need to."

He smiles.

"I don't think you understand how much that means to me. I don't want you to leave." I say

"I'm not leaving. I wouldn't do that to you, not at a time like this. I know you need me." He smiles

"That's comforting to hear. I was scared you were trying to quit on me."

"Never." He smiles again. "So what's the move?"

"I don't know. I kinda just want to get this trip over with. I told him I would wait until after this to make a decision but my mind is made up. If I talk to him about it while we're here I don't think it'll go well." I say

"Well, just tell me when to jump." He says with a serious face.

"I'll keep you posted. I'm gonna go back over to the girls. I was just checking on you."

"No need to check on me. I'm always good."

"I know." We share a look, then I get up to go back to the table.

The rest of the night was good. It wasn't awkward due to the nature of the conversation about Chris. After that conversation, everything was straight. We had fun together and everyone got along, including Mercedes.

A couple of hours later, Joe was dropping us off. Well he was dropping Mercedes, Dori and Jasmine off at their house. Mercedes was smoking and offered me some. I was already lit enough and I knew if I smoked it was going to send me over the top but I didn't care. I knew I was going home to Aubrey and I didn't want to. I took it because I felt I needed to be so under the influence he wouldn't want to deal with me. Moreso so I wouldn't have to deal with him.

Jasmine said her goodbyes and got out. She said she doesn't smoke and didn't want to smell it. Whatever. I was once her.

I was really starting to show hatred for him. I don't know what it was, maybe it was the combination, alcohol and weed, but it was really making me emotional tonight. I was really dreading going back to Aubrey..

Joe's POV

I sat in the car with the girls for a little bit while they were smoking and I kept glancing at Shawnie in the rearview mirror because something just didn't feel right with her. I had been watching her all night and she was drinking a lot. Her cousin told me that she would look out for her because I wasn't sitting close to them. Normally, I don't care because I know she's going to get home safely because she's in my care but for some reason I was a little worried about her tonight.

When I had that little conversation with her it seemed like something was on her mind, but she didn't say anything about it. I'm not the type to pry to get information out of her because normally she just tells me when I ask, but I didn't ask. She's been super quiet ever since we got in the car.

We were all having a random conversation about pop tarts and I heard her say something. It came out like a mumble.

"What did you say Shawnie?" I ask, looking in the mirror. She was leaning on the door and she had her eyes closed.

"I said, I hate my husband." She says

"Shawnie, you can't hate him. You're just going through something right now. Don't say that." Dori says

"No. I hate him. Like really hate him." She says

"But he's—."

"Shut up Dori. Let her get this out. I think she has something to say." Mercedes says, looking back at her from the passenger seat.

"I'm not gonna sit here and let her bad mouth her son's father because she's upset with him. I get they're having a rough patch right now but you guys can't seriously let this happen."

"Dori, you don't know him how I do." Mercedes says

"I don't. But I just want her to make sure she's making the right decision." She turns to Shawnie. "You're married to Drake bitch ...DRAKE! This man is worth almost $400 million and you wanna divorce him because you're not happy. I understand you married him for love and all fluffy shit, but can't you just ride this out?"

"I can't, Dori. Yes, Drake is Drake, but everything isn't about money. His money will not make me stay and be miserable. And he's not who you think he is. He's very charming and all of that good stuff, but what you see is not what this is. Things cannot be worked out between us. I have tried so hard.... Damn this shit is hittin." She says referring to the drugs. I run my hands over my face.

"He doesn't want to?"

"He says he does but his actions are showing me the complete opposite. But this is all my fault. I put myself in this position."

"No you didn't. Don't say that." Dori says

"But it's true. I enabled this behavior by letting him do whatever he wanted to do. I didn't fight for what I felt was right. I didn't speak up for myself enough and I had second thoughts about every move that I made when it came to Aubrey, especially in the beginning. I was so caught up on the idea that he was my Christian and I was stupid. I tried my hardest to bring him and Chris together, but that never worked. I always felt like everything would be good if they were cool, and we could be one big happy family, but that only lasted about two months. I have let him do so many things to me that was unacceptable and inexcusable. I should've left a long time ago. I just kept giving him chance after chance after chance, and nothing changed. No person should have to go through some of the shit that I've gone through with him. He's the fucking Devil and I hate him."

"Shawnie—." I try to stop her from telling too much. It's not that I don't want her to tell them. It's just that I don't know if she's really ready for them to know. She's drunk right now, she's rambling.

"No Joe, I'm going to tell them..."

"Tell us what?" Mercedes says

"Things have turned physical between us a few times." She says

I just sat there and let her spill. This is what she wants and maybe she needs to do this. I'm pretty much the only one who knows what's really been going on. They know a little but not the full truth, or details.

"What? Drake?" Mercedes says in disbelief. "Little bitch boy, Drake? Physical how?"

"We haven't been fist fighting or anything, but he has choked me a few times. Like he purposely restricted my airway to stop me from breathing because we were in an argument, or he wasn't getting his way. Another incident was when he put me in a bathtub with scalding hot water and tried to drown me, then he poured bleach all over me. My skin was burning for days after. I also believe that's why I lost the baby."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mercedes says calmly.

"I know you, you'll try to kill him."

"Uh-yeah." She says. "And I'm assuming Chris doesn't know this either because he would've been dead a long time ago." She says

"I don't want anyone to fight. I just wanna be done with this. I don't wanna feel like I'm not being heard or taken seriously. I don't wanna be weak. He has his way of making me fold every time. I hate it." Shawnie says

"You're not weak. Don't say that." I say

"No, I am when it comes to him. I don't know who I am anymore." She starts crying. I feel so bad.

"That's not true. You know exactly who you are because I know who you are. You've been building yourself back up and I'm loving watching you do it. You know the conversations we have and I'm not gonna bring them up but you're doing very well. You just have to keep that up when you're around him." I say

"I just want to take my kids and I just wanna run away and not have to deal with any of this, but I can't do that. I don't want to deal with that." She continued to cry.

"You did right by leaving the home and putting distance between you and him. You just have to stand your ground. You know I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Talk whatever shit you need to talk. Speak up for yourself. Don't let him shut you down like always." I say

"Stop fucking crying, all you do is cry." Mercedes cuts in.

"Don't be like that." Dori says to Mercedes.

"Fuck that! Man the fuck up and beat his ass with a fucking bat and move the fuck on. I get the physical part but bitch fuck him up and take the overnight jail time. You know you're gonna bail right out." She says

"Mercedes, you don't have to be so hard on her. Why are you talking to her like that?" I ask

"Okay, first of all, we're not gonna talk to me like that. I can say whatever I want to say to my cousin, because she's my cousin."

"Yes, she is your cousin but you don't have to be so rude and disrespectful. She's trying to let you guys in on what's been going on with her. She's been trying to cope with this alone and it's taking a toll on her, as you can see. Don't make her feel bad for feeling bad." I say

"Whatever. You know every fucking thing right?" She says

"No I don't know everything but I am clearly the only one that's around her and trying to help her through this. She didn't want to tell you because she says you judge her and you judge her decisions. I'm not here to judge her and that's why she talks to me. You're completely in the dark about this shit, and now she's letting you know what's been going on and this is your reaction? Be a friend to her, don't act like that towards her." I say. Mercedes is pissing me off.

"Well, I wouldn't be such a bitch right now if she would not have put all of us through all of this bullshit. If she would've just stayed with Chris and worked that shit out with him, we wouldn't even be here. She wouldn't even know you. But we had to go through all of this bullshit, all of this nonsense, all of this drama, just so she can get divorced. All she needed to do was stay with Chris. And she'll tell you, Chris is the only one who can fix this."

"Seriously? He cheated on her every chance he got. He even said it out of his mouth that he met Jasmine while she was pregnant. She thought everything was all good between the two of them and he still found a new bitch to fuck with. Are you serious right now, Mercedes?" Dori snaps.

"Ask her." Mercedes says

No one says anything.

"She's coping with breaking up with Chris. She wants Chris. Ask her, what would fix this?" She says harshly.

Still no one says anything.

"So just because I'm speaking my mind, everyone wants to gang up on me. This girl is in the backseat, crying her eyes out because she doesn't want to get divorced. Y'all think she's crying because she's drunk and her life is screwed up right now. She doesn't want to get a fucking divorce. She's embarrassed because she fucked up by leaving Chris and marrying Drake. THAT'S why. She's pushing Chris to be with Jasmine so she won't be tempted to go back to him because she doesn't want people talking about her. She's doing what she has to do but she doesn't want to do it." She says, then turns to me. "Since you know her so well, you should know THAT." She opens the door and gets out.

"Where are you going?" Dori asks

"In the house...I'm done with this shit show."

"Don't walk out on your cousin." I say

"You got her." She closes the door and walks away. I look at Dori and she's just sitting there holding Shawnie.

"I don't know what's up with her." She says

"Fuck her." Shawnie says

"I don't know what to do." Dori says to me.

I shrug.

"Should I go get Chris?" Dori asks

"Nah. Leave him out of this." I say. "Shawnie, you have to pull yourself together."

"I mean, she's drunk, take her home so she can sleep it off. We just have to calm her down..." Dori says

"I don't wanna go back there with him." She cries out.

"What's going on?" I hear Chris say as he approaches the truck.

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