Shawnie's POV

Joe and I had just arrived at this super expensive restaurant I had never heard of. We drove up to LA specifically for this reason. Aubrey said it's urgent that I come up to have dinner with him. I tried to get out of it but he was very persistent.

"I'll walk you in and I'll stay close. The second you're uncomfortable, call for me and I'll get you out of there. I'll have eyes on you the whole time." He says

"Okay." I put my phone in my purse and looked over at Joe. He was staring out of the windshield, looking like he was upset about something.

"Is everything okay?"

He takes a long blink. "...Yeah. I just don't like you being in a private room with him alone."

"I know that but something else is bothering you." I say

"I'm good."

"No it's not. What's up? You act like we haven't been together 24/7 for the last few months. What's up with you?"

He takes a deep breath and lets it out. Joe looked visibly bothered. I've actually never seen him like this so I was very concerned.

"We can talk more in depth about this later but I want you to stop paying me."

"What? Stop paying you, why?" I ask

"I don't think I should get paid to do something like this." He says

"Like what? Security? Why? Are you quitting?"

"Nah, I'm not quitting. Shawnie—. Chill." He laughs a little.

I pause. "Well what do you mean? I've gotten so comfortable with you and I've only been like this with one other person. I trust you, Joe. I really trust you."

"I know you do. I shouldn't have said anything. I assure you, I'm not going anywhere. We can talk more about this after your dinner with him." He says, placing his hand on mine.

"Okay..."

He doesn't say anything else he just gets out of the car and walks over to my side, he opens the door for me and escorts me inside.

Paparazzi were everywhere so I'm assuming that he was already here. There's nothing like LA paps. The flashes and lights were blinding as we walked into the building. They were taking pictures of me and Joe. They tried to start rumors about Joe and I when he first started working for me, but you know Aubrey shut that shit down as soon as they tried it. I did not miss this and this is exactly why I moved down to San Diego. There were some paps out there but never this invasive, it is extreme. Of course since Aubrey pulled that stunt on my birthday, now people know where I live now.

We found our way into the private room where Aubrey was. A couple of his security guards were standing outside of the room. We walked in and Joe pulled out my chair and I took a seat. Aubrey watches as Joe walks off and out of the room. He closes the door behind him. Aubrey then turns his attention to me. He plastered a smile on his face.

"Thank you for meeting me..." Aubrey says

"Publicly." I say, looking around. He isn't fooling anyone. He wants these pictures floating around for a reason. Of course to make him look good.

"Yes, publicly. Amanda thought it'll be good to get us photographed looking happy after what happened at the Tiffany's event and your house." He says

"I didn't know that was live but you shouldn't have showed up at my house with a camera crew."

"I should've told you. I apologize, that was my bad. I just wanted to do something nice for you. We had been fighting, we were in a fight. I should've answered your calls but honestly I was scared you would break up with me."

"But that's what's happening regardless. I just want to keep giving you chances after chances but it's going nowhere. I'm really trying with you Aubrey. I really want you to see your flaws and I want to help you fix them but you just refuse to. You're not the same person I fell in love with. You're completely opposite and it leads me to believe it was all an act."

"It's not and wasn't an act." He sighs, "There's some things that you don't understand when it comes to me and my lifestyle. I'm in a position where people look to me to fix everything or do everything. People asking me for things left and right, asking me to get them out of this and that, it's stressful. You know I'm taking care of a lot of people. Literally my whole family. I just wanted you to fall into place. Help me. Take the load off...and you did that but our marriage just became something that was pushed to the back burner. I hate that it happened this way. And I know it was important but I was still adjusting to this married life. I still am." He explains

"I was too. I was adjusting to married life, and being Drake's wife. I can't get used to being in the spotlight like this. I just want to be private and I can't be that way. It's a huge adjustment for me."

"I know that too. I just—I don't know what's wrong with me. I know I'm different. I don't have an excuse."

"You could've talked to me about how you were feeling and we could've figured it out. You know I'm not the type of person to just leave. I wanted to stay and I wanted things to get better between us, but it was like you were trying to make things worse."

"You wanted to be away from me and I didn't know how to cope with that. I don't think you realize I've never been treated this way especially now that I am who I am. I'm used to getting everything that I want, and whoever I want, I wasn't looking at you like some random girl. You are my wife and I take that seriously but you wouldn't give me a chance to show you that. I care about you. I really do. I love you so much and you don't see that. I really wish you would." He says

"I gave you plenty of time to show me that and you let your ego, and damaging thoughts get in the way. You let that happen. I tried to stay around and stay present for you. I know it can be hard sometimes when you're an overthinker and you think people are out to get you but I'm your wife. You know I'm not out to get you if you had any of those thoughts before we got married, you would not have married me and you damn sure wouldn't have married me without a prenup. You know I am here for only you, you were the only one I cared about. You knew that. I left Chris to be with you. That wasn't a decision you made, I made that decision because I wanted to be with you."

"I know you did." He says

"So don't come at me talking bout I didn't give you any chances because I was giving you too many. That's why we are where we are now. I've given you so many chances. I'm not complaining about it, but I'm upset about it. I'm not in a situation where I can just walk away from you. We're married. That's why I gave you so many chances because I didn't want to go through the paperwork. But we are here now and we have to." I say

"So you're really trying to divorce me?"

"I don't want to. I want things to turn around and be amazing for us. The only thing about that is I want it to happen right now but I know that's not gonna happen because our issues have gone on for way too long and I really don't think we can come back from it. Too much has happened. I think if they were handled in the beginning then things would have turned out differently, but I think it's too far gone at this point." I say

He doesn't say anything, he just nods his head.

"Did you return the necklace?" I ask

"Yes."

"Thank you for that." I say sipping the wine that was already poured in my glass.

"Getting it for you, or returning it?" He asks, looking up at me, staring deep into my eyes.

"Both."

He cracks a smile. "You know I got it for you because I felt you deserved it. I wanted to put a smile on your face."

"I know... you've always gone above and beyond for me. You've always gotten what I've asked for. I know you want me to be happy. That's not a question. I know you did it because you wanted to and I know you did it because you wanted me to be happy and I appreciate all of that." I pause and take a second to try to study his reaction. He's not really giving me much. So I continue.

"Aubrey, I really only wanted to be with you. I didn't care about your money and I know you know that."

He takes a sip of his drink, then he slowly sits it down. "I know you don't, but can I say something?"

"Of course," I say

"I don't like the way you're talking. Wanted to be with me? Loved me? You don't love me anymore? I know the severity of our situation. I hear the seriousness in your voice and I see the hurt in your eyes. You don't want this, and I don't want this to end." He stands up and walks over to my side of the table. He kneels down and takes my hand. "I need one more chance to change things. Will you give me that?"

The only thing I could do was sigh. I didn't have many words to say because this was a different type of vulnerability that Aubrey was displaying right now. This is the most open he's been with me in a long time. The fact that he can sit down and hold a conversation with me like this gives me hope. I just wish he was doing this all along. And if he could do it now, he could've done it then. I am set in my decision and it's too late for all of that.

"I'm sorry Aubrey. It's too late."

My phone goes off and his eyes snap to my phone.

"Can you do me a favor?" He asks

"What's that?"

"Close your eyes and visualize how happy we were—."

I cut him off. "Aubrey—."

"Please. Just visualize us right before we got back to California." Aubrey was pleading with me, this was the least I could do.

He has been trying to win me back but I've been here before and I kept going back to Marcel. Nothing changed. It actually got worse. That's why I'm fighting with myself about taking him back. I want to because I love him, but I refuse to make the same mistakes that I have in the past.

I didn't want to but I closed my eyes. I've been trying to block out everything that had to do with Aubrey. We were actually happy. He was right about coming to California. He knew it was going to be trouble and I told him if it was that we would go back to Toronto...but I lied. I refused to go back there. And now this is where our relationship is. Facing divorce.

I open my eyes because I begin to feel emotions coming up that I wanted to keep buried.

"Baby, all I ever wanted is you. Right now, I just want to choose you, but you won't let me. I'm being open. I'm telling you what I want. You want me to retire, or take time off to fix our marriage, I will." He says

I slid my hand over his. "Aubrey, I know you want to... I've asked you numerous times and you never made any type of changes. It's too late."

He took his hand from mine and walked back over to his side of the table and sat down. He was upset, I could tell, but I just wanted him to get this through his head. I had to put my foot down.

"Now, I'll take these pictures with you and spin whatever story Amanda is trying to spin, but Aubrey I really need you to get your shit in order. I know you've been in denial about this for a while but this will happen." I say

"I have turned your life around and you're being ungrateful." He says. "I made you a millionaire."

"No. I have access to your millions. There's a difference. That's not my money. And I don't want it." I say

"You're my wife, it's yours. You have agencies calling you to do ads and acting gigs, appearances, campaigns, all of that shit, and you're being ungrateful?"

"I didn't want any of this, you wanted this for me." I argue

"It doesn't matter, you have it. I told you I was going to get you in the room with the right people. You got that, and now you're complaining about a couple of cameras in your face? I did all of that for you because I'm in a position where I can do that because of who I am. I gave you life. I made your life better. Your net worth has skyrocketed, but you don't want it? Females would kill to be in your position." He says

"And you are welcomed to have each and every one of them." I say

"You're basically telling me you don't like me because of who I am."

"Take it how you want to, Aubrey. I'm sorry you have these feelings but I've been sitting with mine for as long as I've been out in San Diego and I'm fine with the direction that this is going."

"Of course you are. You got what you wanted out of me."

"And what was that? I don't want shit from you, Aubrey." I say. Now I'm getting irritated.

"I don't know." He says frustrated. He's scrambling and he's just throwing shit out now.

"You are so used to people using you, when someone isn't you still think they are."

He couldn't even say anything. I know it was bothering him. This whole situation is hard for him to accept.

"This is just as hard for me as it is for you, Aubrey. The only difference is I've had time to actually process, while you've been in denial. Maybe you should try and process this as well. Take a couple of days. I had papers drawn up months ago, but I didn't file. I'm going to give them to you to sign and you can file them. I know it's a big deal about who files first. I'll let you file them. But I don't want to be married to you anymore."

"This is not what this dinner was supposed to be about." He says. "Hold up! Are you doing this because of Christian?"

"No, Aubrey. I tried to tell you that there's nothing going on between Christian and I. We are strictly friends. That's why he didn't say anything when we were all at dinner."

"It has to be." He says

"You know our issues and I think you refuse to accept them. I can't just sit in this marriage unhappy. It's not about Christian, it's not about Chris, it is solely based on our relationship. You can't accept the fact that this has to do with you. YOU fucked up with me."

"Aight, Whatever." He says

"I just want this to go as smoothly as possible. I'm not asking for anything. I don't want anything from you. The only thing I want is for you to sign the papers and just let me go." I say

"Okay, let's just go on this trip before we make any decisions. There's a few things that I want to do before we make such a permanent decision. Can you at least give me until the trip is done?"

"I can do that."

"Thank you." He says. "Now that all of the serious talk is out of the way. Can we try to have a nice dinner?"

"We can try." I say

"I wanted to ask you about those pictures."

"Of Joe and I?"

"Yes. What was up with that."

"I don't know. It's just the angle. I was scared to get into the water so he walked me in and I got nervous once we got out there and I put my arms around him to stabilize myself."

"I don't believe it. And if you were lying, you wouldn't tell me anyway so whatever."

"I wouldn't lie about that. If anything I would want to tell the truth to hurt you."

"That's true. Aight, I'll let it go." He says

The waitress comes in and we order. Now it's that awkward silence again.

"I finally listened to your new album." I say trying to lighten the mood.

He smiles, "You like it? What's your favorite song?"

"Sticky, not only because it has nothing to do with us but because it's so dope."

He laughs

"And I kinda love Massive. I love the realness and vulnerability. I love how you speak about us, and I love that you're speaking about how you feel."

"I'm happy you like it." He says

"But can we talk about Liability?"

He sits back in his chair. "Yeah... what about it?" He asks, reaching for his cocktail.

"Is that really how you feel?"

He laughs for a second, "....yeah."

I speak slowly, trying to remain calm. I don't want to upset him because this is his career but I'm a little upset. I really believe this is how he feels too.

"....we had a conversation a few months ago, and you called me a liability. So I'm connecting the dots...Do you think I'm playing with your head?"

"Sometimes."

"I don't. And I don't lie to you, especially about this relationship."

"Uh huh." He says

"No really. I think you confused sex for more than what it is sometimes. I don't promise you something when I know I'm not going to follow through. If I have sex with you that's just what it is. I've told you that many times."

"You switched up." He says

"No...I think you just look for more when it's not there."

"Whatever, Shawnie."

I'm gonna leave that alone. Ain't no changing his mind.

"You had a lot to say. You know if you weren't so vocal in your music people wouldn't know what's going on with us. I'm not trying to tell you how to do your thing because of course I'm no entertainer but you realize you fuel the fire as well."

"That's me. That's what I do." He says and I sense Drake creeping back in.

"I haven't posted on social media in months because of all the rumors flying around about us. I purposely don't post anything because number one, I don't want to see what people have to say, and number two, they read too much into shit. So I feel like I can't say anything, but when you release an entire album based on our relationship, that's a problem. You literally spill everything about us. The one thing I would say you didn't really touch on is the Chris situation but you implied. That doesn't help our situation."

He shrugs

"I appreciate the vulnerability but why can't we have those conversations? Everything doesn't deserve a song, Aubrey." I feel myself getting frustrated with him. He's just sitting there.

"A Keeper talks about you've found someone else. In Currents, you sing about some woman you're moving too fast with. Is all of this true? I see the narrative you're trying to create."

He shrugs again.

I inhale and exhale in frustration. He's working my nerves. "So this isn't going to be a civil conversation anymore?"

"I don't want to talk anymore." He picks up his glass and drinks. "I'm bored."

Wow. He just shut down right in front of my eyes.

"Sorry I bore you. Have a good night." I stand up and leave.

"SHAWNIE!" He calls after me but I ignore him.

I shouldn't even give a fuck about this trip, but I told him I would wait and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go and I'm gonna see how things go.

I shouldn't be doing this because of how he's acting. I shouldn't do this and I feel dumb for even following through with this, but I have to admit, there is still a big part of me that wishes he would just start acting right and doing everything to fix this. I still have hope, even though I know I shouldn't because he continuously shows me how much this means to him, which isn't that much. I want him to change, and I wanna believe that he wants to change, but he keeps showing me that he is going to continue to be the same person.

What do you guys think is going to happen when they go on this trip??
What did you guys think about this chapter??