Instagram

Shawniemarie

Shawniemarie I don't post much anymore but thank you for all the Birthday love from my ACTUAL fans. I love you guys! ♥️ Everybody else 🖕🏼

**********

Shawnie's POV

After I got dressed, Lexi came and got the babies and the girls and I headed out to brunch and Mimosas. Joe was with us too but pretty much just the driver. We stayed there a few hours and then after that, I used the card Joe got me and we all went to get massages and facials. Crazy but Joe paid for them too. That was nice of him.

When we got back to the house, I saw that Joe got me In-N-Out Burger. I just laughed. He knows how much I love it.. It's like the best thing I have had since I've been out in California. The girls were side-eyeing me and I don't really know why but I just ignored them as I ate my cheeseburger.

Later on that night, the girls and I were sitting outside smoking and talking. I was in a lounge chair off to the side and they were sitting at the table next to me. It was dark outside now and I was just enjoying the peaceful breeze and the sound of the ocean waves.

Joe was inside. I don't know what he was up to. He's been keeping his distance today. I guess because I'm spending time with my cousin and friend. I was kinda missing him a little bit because I'm so used to being around him all the time. It was a little weird that he kept his distance, but his presence was still known.

"Trey has become a little bit clingy, but I still like him." Dori says, passing a lot blunt to Mercedes, then lighting her own.

"I know right. This man wants all three of us to sleep in the bed every night and you know me, I like my space." Mercedes says and I laugh.

Joe walked outside and over to where we were sitting. He hands me my phone.

"It's been going off like crazy." He says, sitting a glass of red wine on the table next to me.

"Who is it?" I ask

He shrugs, "I didn't check your phone." He sits at the bottom of the lounge chair.

I glanced at the missed calls and rolled my eyes. "It's Chris."

"Okay. Why the eye roll?" Mercedes asks

"I've just been trying to keep my distance from him because I don't wanna fall back into the pattern that we've always fallen in."

"That's understandable but he's probably just calling you to tell you happy birthday." Dori says

"Yeah, or to talk to his daughter." Mercedes says

"Yeah but he already told me happy birthday.... About 4 times on our little boat date." I hit my blunt.

"Whaaat?" They both say in unison.

"Aight. That's my cue." Joe stands up.

"No, Joe, don't go. I was only kidding." I joke

"Nah, I don't wanna hear that and no you weren't. You forget I was here that day. I know what time you came in the next morning." He smiles but it was fake.

"Wait! What the hell?" I say glancing at my phone.

"What?" Dori and Mercedes speak at the same time.

"SHAWNIE NOT LIVING W/ DRAKE...Dealing w/ Marital Issues." I read

"They know we're living separately, and having problems. Who talked to them?"

They both shrug.

"It says, The situation between Drake and his wife, Shawnie, is reportedly so bad the famous couple is currently living apart from one another in separate houses."

"Damn, they know." My cousin says

"They know now because of the bullshit that he tried to pull today." I shake my head. "Well, the privacy was fun while it lasted."

"What do you think Drake has to say?" Dori asks

"He doesn't have anything to say. This is probably what he wanted. He hates that I'm here."

"He may hate it but isn't he giving you space?" Dori asks

"He says he's trying to stay out of the way but I don't believe that. He's taking this hard. Now he did this? He is trying to get me back to LA." I say

"I'm gonna go see how things are looking. I'll be back." Joe says, then walks away back into the house.

I look at Dori and she's watching him walk away.

"You know he wants you right?" Mercedes says

What? No." I say in disbelief.

"Yes. I see it." Dori responds

"You see what?" I look at them confused.

"The way he looks at you. He is in love with you." My cousin says. "Do you hear me? IN LOVE!"

"You guys are insane. No he is not." I laugh.

"I don't know if you just choose not to believe it but he's very into you." She says

"Mercedes, why are you always trying to hook me up with people? First it was Chris, and now you're saying crazy things about Joe."

"I'm not saying crazy things. I'm just letting it be known because you don't see it."

"... Yeah, and then you go and say you and
Chris had sex right in front of him." Dori adds

"Joe doesn't care. I'm so used to Joe being around I didn't think anything of it. Joe and I are just friends. I told you earlier there's nothing going on between us. We're just really cool." I say

"Yeah, sure... Well, something needs to be going on. I bet he has a big dick. He gives big dick energy." Dori says, taking a hit of her blunt.

"Definitely, has a big dick." Mercedes says, "You think he doesn't want you, I bet if you throw that ass at him, he's gonna catch it."

"For real. I bet he has that dick that would make you walk funny." Dori agrees, laughing.

I just laugh. "If I wasn't in this situation...I would look at him like that." I take a hit. "I need to ride a dick. I need a stress reliever other than weed."

"Or his face." Dori smiles. "I would go for it. He's here and very accessible. Why not?" Dori says

"Never done the whole friends with benefits thing and I don't know if he would be able to." I say

"Um... I think you'll be perfectly fine with that. He's been keeping his feelings in check for a long time, especially if you don't know anything about them." Mercedes says

"The real question is will you be able to keep how you feel in check after you have that big ass dick." Mercedes and Dori laugh.

"Right, because Drake has her ass dickmatized."

"I can't lie about that. I am. I love his dick, but I'm doing better with not getting it. That's why I stay away." I say

"Get over it by letting Joe's sexy ass manhandle you, and I wanna watch." Dori says fanning herself.

"Okay, okay. Enough about that. I don't even know why we're talking about this. Shut up. If he hears you he might be embarrassed." I say

"Oh, come on. You know Joe isn't the type to get embarrassed. He's a cocky motherfucker. The only motherfuckers who get embarrassed when someone says they have a big dick is motherfuckers who don't have a big dick." My cousin says, sipping her drink.

Two seconds later, Joe walks out of the house smiling. He walks over and sits back where he was sitting before, down at the bottom of my lounge chair.

We all got quiet.

Oh my God, I hope he didn't hear everything we were talking about.

"I'm very secure. I know who I am and what I have in my pants." He says, smiling.

I was so nervous. I didn't want to say anything.

"I clearly heard you guys. Yes, my dick is big. Any more questions?" He laughs which makes us laugh.

"See, Big dick energy!" Dori shouts out and Joe laughs. "Like, how big. Since you're so confident, whip it out." Dori says, jokingly.

"Oh my goodness, please don't." I cover my face. I'm so embarrassed I don't know what to do.

"Shawnie, shut up! Stop being so uptight." Mercedes says

Joe laughs. "Big enough. Y'all are funny."

"You be having bitches walking funny, don't you?" Dori asks

Joe laughs.

"Can we not talk about this?" I say

"Why because you're uptight?" Dori asks

"No. What if Joe doesn't want to talk about that?" I say and Joe cuts in.

"...I've had a bunch of women back out of sex because of my size."

"You're fucking lying!!!" Dori looked extremely engaged in the conversation. She was so into this.

"I'm fucking with you." They all start laughing.

"You're funny!" Dori says

"But I thought you don't give it to everybody?" I question thinking about the conversation we had on the beach that day.

"I don't. I had to get to this point. I had to grow up and I stopped all of that shit." He says

"So you guys have talked about this before?" Mercedes says, looking confused.

"Not exactly. I told her I don't give my dick to everybody. She was asking about me going on dates and why don't I have a girlfriend."

"Ohh, okay." My cousin looks at me and smiles. "Why don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Too busy." He answers quickly.

"But you get time off and in that time off why don't you go out?"

"No reason...I rather stay here."

"..... with Shawnie.... Your boss?" She says smiling at me.

"Gotta keep her safe." He says

"Nah, not on your days off." She challenges him.

"No days off dealing with Drake and his crazy ass."

"Agreed!" They both laugh.

"I've never been the type to go out and party. I used to work at bars and clubs and that's just not my thing anymore. Vegas will do that to you." He says

"I understand. But sex? You gotta be getting it from somewhere. You're a man. If I'm getting too personal, you can stop by at any time. When was the last time you had sex?"

"Oh my—Dori—just stop. When did you become so damn vocal."

"I haven't had sex in a year." Joe says

"Damn." Mercedes and Dori speak at the same time.

"Not that I don't want to, I just had to change some shit up."

"So it's by choice. I like that. You must've been slinging dick everywhere." Mercedes says and Joe laughs, nodding his head.

"Damn...I wish I was around then." Dori says , which makes us laugh.

My phone dings and I pick it up. It's Mercedes sending me a text.

Mercedes: FUCK HIM!!!!!!!!!! 💦💦💦🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊💦💦💦💦💦

Mercedes: I bet it'll be the best sex you've ever had in your life. I KNOW that dick is good!!

Me: Stop. I'm not having sex with him.

My phone dings again and I go to check it.

"Mercedes, I have a surprise for you." I'm very happy to change the subject. It was a little awkward for me. Only because Joe and I don't talk like that so I don't know how to feel about it.

"Oh shit! What?" She says, excitedly.

"I've been keeping some important information from you." I smile.

"Bitch. What?"

I laugh. "I'll tell you in a minute."

"Huh?" She looked confused.

"It'll be here shortly." I tease, sipping my drink. I'm happy I don't feel awkward anymore.

My doorbell rings and I get up to answer but Mercedes  does as well and she runs past me to her to the door.

Once she gets to the door,  she opens it and then screams.

"OMG!!!" She jumps on the person. I just laugh.

Christian steps into the house with Mercedes wrapped around him.

"This is the kinda reaction I was looking for when me and Shawnie saw each other." He says

I laugh.

Mercedes gets down and covers her mouth in shock. "Christian? What the fuck? When...where? Huh?"

"Christian and I ran into each other a few weeks ago." I say

"Weeks? And you kept this from me?" She says. "Oh my love, are you guys getting back together?"

"Mercedes, stop!" I say in frustration. "I'm married and he's engaged."

"To who?" She asks him. "You know you're supposed to be with my cousin?"

"Yeah, but she stopped all of my advances. She wants to work on her marriage and I respect that."

"Still sweet. I really tried to keep you two together."

"I know you did." He says

"Wait. I left Joe and Dori outside...she's probably harassing him." I walk outside to the patio. They were still sitting in the same spots. Thank God because Dori has become a little bit of a hard to predict person.

"Who's that?" Joe asks

"Christian." I answer

"Oh," He says dryly. "What does he want?"

"Joe, he stopped by to chill for a minute." I say

I don't know why Joe doesn't like Christian. It's not like Christian is being shady or anything. Joe needs to chill out.

Christian and Mercedes walk outside. I introduced Christian to Dori and Christian said hello to Joe. Joe said what's up without making eye contact.

"Ima let y'all chill. Shawnie, holler if you need me. I'll be upstairs."

"Okay." I say as I watch Joe leave.

He went inside but looked at me before he closed the patio door. I wonder what that was about.

My phone rang and Christian picked it up off of the table to hand to me.

"Op." I hear Mercedes says

"Excuse you sir." I say. Why is he picking up my phone?

"Brown?" He says

"Yeah...it's Chris." I take the phone from him and I answer. "Hello?"

"What's up, baby? Happy Birthday!"

"Hey! Thank you, Chris!" I say

"My bad for calling so much but I had to talk to you."

"What's up?"

"Drake called me asking about my availability so we can all get together for some trip?"

"He's been on that lately. Somebody had to have put that idea in his head because I know he didn't come up with that on his own. I know we all can't get away so maybe we can just do something local."

"I told that man not to call me again. Can you contact me with the details and let me know. If he's genuinely trying to get us on the same page, then okay, but I don't wanna communicate with him right now. If some bullshit pops off I don't know if that man is going to live to talk about it. I have pent up aggression and anger for him and it will be bad." He says

"I got you. As soon as I get the details, I'll let you know. How's the tour? Where are you?" I ask

"NY/NJ, and it's good. It's work, but I'm having a lot of fun. I'm partying!" He says

"Yeah, I see the pictures from the parties and meet and greets every damn night. You look like you're having fun and you look so happy."

"You mad about the pictures? Come chill with me." He says

I laugh, "No I'm not mad and I might. Is Jasmine with you?"

"Nah...she's home." He says

"Your home, or her home?"

"Hers. Can't have her on the road with me. We ain't there yet." He laughs

"Oh."

"What's wrong? I feel like something is bothering you."

"Yeah...it is. It doesn't have anything to do with you or anything. I'm just a little sad."

"Why are you sad, baby?"

"I kinda don't wanna talk about it." I say

I really didn't want to get into a serious conversation with Chris right now. I have everyone here and he's out on tour and he's doing all these meet and greets and after parties and everything and I just didn't wanna bring him down. I'm sure he would set some time away from everything for me but I just didn't want to do that.

"That's cool. I know you know if you ever wanna talk you can call me."

"I know. Thank you. Well, I know you're busy and I have company, so I'll get the information and hit you up."

"Aight. Have a good night, baby."

I smile. "Goodnight."

"What's CB talking about?" Mercedes asks

"Nothing much. He was just telling me how good of a time he's having out on the road." I say

"That's dope." Christian says. "When he gets back in town I would really like to meet him. I want to meet the man that brought you out of that dark place you were in. I just wanna shake his hand and tell him thank you."

"That's so sweet!" Dori says

"It really is. Christian is such a good guy, he's always been." Mercedes says, "I've always rooted for Christian. I wanted him and Shawnie to end up together and I tried my hardest to keep them together when that person we won't speak of, came into the picture. God, I hated him so much."

"You did, but I was stupid and didn't wanna work to keep her. I fumbled big-time back then and I regret it. I regret the fuck out of that." Christian says

"Well, that's okay because we're in each other's lives now. We have the chance to have a great friendship and I don't plan on ever not talking to you again." I say with a smile.

He smiles back.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He says

"Yeah," I stand up. "We can go for a little walk."

We walk over to the beach.

"How have you been?" He asks

"I've been okay."

"The other day, I didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't want you to meet her that way." He says

"No. It's all good. You should focus on that. I don't want to drag anyone into my drama and that's exactly what my situation is going to do. We can still be friends, we can still communicate, but I don't need to go over there and you don't need to come over here. I appreciate you coming tonight because it's my birthday, but this has to be the last time." I explain

"I understand. I care about you and I care about Shelby but our situation is a very sticky situation, and I can see myself just falling into the hole and not being able to get myself out of it." He says

"Exactly. How is she doing?"

"She's okay. After I talked to her about what's been going on she's a little bit more understanding and she kind of wishes that she didn't fly off the hinges like that. It was weird because she never acts like that. She's always so chill."

"Well, she felt threatened. That was obvious. I don't wanna screw up your relationship. I know we had this whole life planned out for us but that didn't happen. I don't want to move backwards. I just want us to be friends and I want us to be the friends we were before we even got together back in college."

"We did everything together." He smiles

"Yeah, that's what I mean. I want you and Shelby to be able to be comfortable around me and whoever I'm with I don't want any drama between us. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable. Especially her. She seems nice..."

He bust out laughing, "Yeah, she's nice."

"You know what I mean. I just want us all to be friends, with no drama." I say

"I would like that...but I think I'm always going to feel like me and you have unfinished business. It's still a pretty vivid what if to me. I can't help that."

"Christian.... Let's try to forget about that." I say. I don't want to go backwards.

".... Okay." He puts his head down and smiles. "You look pretty tonight."

"Thank you."

"Do you need my help with anything?" He asks

"No. I have Joe. He's been looking out for me."

"Good ol Joe. He doesn't like me too much, huh?"

"No, but you don't have to worry about him. He's only looking out for me."

"I know." He says

We were silent for a few seconds.

"Let's go back before someone takes a photo of us."

"Yeah. We don't need that." He says and we start walking back to the house.

We didn't do much of anything for the rest of the night. We just chilled out, smoked a little bit and drank a little bit more, while we enjoyed each other's company. Every time Christian is over, I love being able to catch up with him. I feel like we still have so much in common and I love that I'm able to talk to him again after so many years. It was a good birthday. I'm happy I can say I spent my birthday with him.

********

The next day, we went to chill on the beach. It was all of us who were there but of course some paps spotted us. They only took pictures of Joe and I, like it was just us two there. I wanted to go into the water but I was a little nervous so Joe took me in. Those are the pictures they sold and now there's a new story out about Joe and I.

The story talks about how Joe and I are secretly together. They even went back to the Tiffany's event, showing those photos and saying we have been together for a while, which is why Aubrey and I aren't living together. Crazy how they try to link this shit together and make it make sense but they're wrong. As usual. I'm so sick of these people selling pictures of me. They know he's only my bodyguard but they're still trying to shoot this narrative that Joe and I are together.

I wasn't even informed of the photos being released. No one called me. Which was something else that wasn't normal. I always get a head up, but this time I didn't so they ran the story. I couldn't stop it.

**********

After talking with Aubrey about the details of this trip, we decided that just renting out a house in northern Cali would be best. It's away from LA, but close enough if any one of us needs to get home quickly, we can. I thought the idea was great but I'm still curious how Aubrey came up with this because there have been plenty of times I've told Aubrey I would like to get together like this and he blew me off.

I've always thought something like this would be good for us. All of us together, with security of course, and no paps. I know there's good that can come from this, even with me. After we fight and get all of our frustrations out of the way, we can talk. So I agree with this but I know this wasn't his idea.

What did y'all think about this chapter??