Shawnie's POV

My dad spent a week with me and the kids in San Diego. It wasn't too eventful, it was just us spending time together. It was very needed. My dad got to spend time with the kids, which is exactly what he wanted. Chris FaceTimed me and he got to speak to my dad a couple of times during the week. It's not like they don't talk anyway. I'm sure they probably talk weekly.

My dad and Joe got along great. I actually think he likes Joe a lot. Way more than Aubrey, and probably Chris too. I got very suspicious when he pulled Joe to the side and they had a conversation. Joe wouldn't tell me what it was about and neither would Joe. I guess I just have to wait and see if Joe will break down and tell me one day.

Aubrey didn't come down to visit my dad. He played like he was so busy when any other time he would be here practically stalking me. He's been such an asshole but turns around and says he wants to work things out. It's all bullshit.

It was the following week, and Aubrey and I had an event to attend. I would've said no but it was a Tiffany & Co. black tie event. An auction for charity. I couldn't say no to something like this, plus I'm under contract to attend all Tiffany & Co. events.

Aubrey and I met at the Beverly Hills Hotel so we could arrive together. Joe got in the car with the other security guys and I got into Aubrey's limo and we rode to the event together.

Things were quiet for us on the right over. It was a little awkward but we have had a lot of shit going on and now just wasn't the time for us to hash any of that out. We haven't really talked much since the dinner with Christian and to be honest, I wasn't quite fond of bringing that whole situation up. I just wanted to get this shit over with so I could get the hell away from him.

Once we got close to the building he finally spoke to me.

"Please Mami, just act normal. No one knows what happens or the conversations we have in private, so they don't know what's going on between us. As far as everyone is concerned we're happily married. Let's keep it that way." Aubrey says

"Yeah, whatever. I don't understand why you want me to go to this thing anyway." I say looking out of the window.

"Because you have a job to do. You have to be here to wear your Tiffany's piece. And you're my wife. I can't attend something like this alone. They would know something is up, and it doesn't help that rumors are steady flying because of the blogs. I know you hate me but can you act like you love me for a few hours?" He pleads with me.

"I do love you, Aubrey." I say softly. "You just have to get it together."

"Well, it doesn't feel like it." He says

"Sometimes I don't feel loved either. So we're even."

He sighs, "Let's just get through the night and you can go back to San Diego, and be up Christian's ass."

I nod my head. "Fine." I look out of the window. Glad we can agree on wanting to get this over with. ".... And I'm not seeing Christian."

After a couple of minutes, he speaks.

"We have to do interviews." I roll my eyes.

"Well you can do all of the talking, you know how I am." I say

"You have to answer questions about the neck piece. They don't wanna hear from me about that."

"Aubrey, you know I don't do this. It'll be better coming from you. I'm nervous and I don't know what to say or do. Shit like this makes me anxious."

"But I'm right here with you. You know I'm not going to let you fall." He says, extending his hand to my lap.

I just looked at his hand for a few seconds, then I put my hand on his. He scoots closer to me and kisses me on my cheek.

"It's going to be okay." He says then he gets out of the car. He turns around to help me out.

I look past Aubrey, looking around. I don't know what or who I was looking for, but then I see Joe standing there. He smiles at me and a wave of calmness washes over me. I feel like as long as I know Joe is there, nothing is going to go wrong. All the media started taking pictures of Aubrey and I. We walked the red carpet hand and hand and were all smiles, putting on this fake front like we're so in love and happy. I hated it.

I had so much comfort in knowing that Joe was standing behind me and I felt like I could make it through this. Joe had literally become my security blanket in all things that have to do with the outside world. It's kinda sad but he had a way of calming me down just by making eye contact with me when we were out like this. His eyes were very warm and welcoming and they just made me calm. My anxiety has been so high these last few months and knowing that I have someone I can fully open up to and know that they're genuinely there for me, and that gives me strength to go on throughout the day, made all of this worth it. I'm grateful for Joe in so many ways and I am so happy that I met him that day in Vegas. I'm starting to believe what he says about how he is supposed to be in my life and there's a purpose for him here. I just don't know what that is yet.

Aubrey and I aren't on the best of terms and I'm clearly only here to make him look good. Aubrey is so hell-bent on making sure everyone knows he's a good guy and that he does all of these good things for everyone and that he's a good husband to me. Some of that is true but we all know he's not a good husband to me. There are moments where Aubrey really is a great guy, and he's so thoughtful and loving but there is another side to him that I've seen and unfortunately I can't unsee.

He got this Tiffany & Co. piece in my possession because I wanted it. I don't have a clue on how he got it for me and I've had it for a while. This isn't something anyone could just pull off. Only the elite have worn this piece and now I have it, but I think after this event, I am going to return it.

We walked the red carpet, did about five different interviews with different outlets and then we went inside. I let Aubrey do all of the talking. I know he said he wanted me to answer a few questions but I simply didn't want to. I knew he would pick up when I didn't answer. It was already a lot for me doing all of this media and lights flashing and people yelling my name. I felt it was better for me if I didn't do any interviews. Amanda kept looking at me like she wanted to say something but she never did. I know she and Aubrey were upset with me but I did what was best for me and my anxiety.

We sat through that long and dreadful event. Joe and the rest of the security guys were sitting at a table in the back, so it was literally just Aubrey and I and about four other people at our table. I didn't know them but Aubrey seemed to have known them. I was quiet most of the night. Aubrey kept doing little things like touching me and squeezing my hand or making side comments to let me know that his attention was still on me, which I appreciated because I was not having fun whatsoever.

He would rub the back of his hand on my arm to get my attention and then he would smile at me or he would hold my hand to make me feel comfortable because he knew how uncomfortable I was in the setting. It's the little things like that that made me look at Aubrey differently but I know the bad I weighed the good in the bigger picture. He probably was just doing it because we were out in public and he knew there were cameras and people watching us, but it still made me feel better.

By the end of the night we were steadily holding a conversation between each other and it was actually quite pleasant. I didn't have an ongoing attitude like I did in the beginning of the night. As much as I don't wanna say it, he was actually the Aubrey that I love and that made my night a whole lot easier to get through. We were laughing and joking and playing around like we used to and dare I even say flirting with each other.

It was nice to have this Aubrey back for a little bit of time but I know that it was only a matter of time before he turned back into the devil that I know. It was a nice night though and I'm happy that it turned out the way it did.

At the end of the night, once we got back to the limo. Aubrey got in first. He held his hand out and helped me inside and as I was making sure my dress was all in the car, I turned around and he was right there in my face. He kissed me. I hesitated for a minute because it was a little weird but it didn't take long for me to relax into his arms and kiss him back.

We made out for a few minutes before the car even started moving. He pulled me onto his lap and started to pull my dress up.

"No. I can't do this." I said between kisses.

"I know, but Fuck it. I want you." He looked down at my dress. "Did we buy this or is this rented?"

"Bought."

"Good." He was about to rip it until I stopped him.

"I'm not going there with you, Aubrey, I'm not mentally there."

"Why? Baby, I miss you." He said almost whining.

"I kinda miss you too and I don't have this Aubrey all the time, but I'm not gonna go back on everything that I've said or how I feel because I'm horny right now. You need to do a lot more than tonight for me to go there with you again. You always like to use this against me but I'm not gonna let it happen anymore." I climb off of him.

"Shit." He says, adjusting himself in his pants. "You gotta get your shit together because I'm not gonna keep doing this shit with you. I can't fuck my wife?"

"No."

He shakes his head and pulls his phone out of his pocket.

"Yeah, go ahead and call one of your hoes to take care of that. I'm not doing it anymore."

"I will." He says

I look over at him and I just stare at him for a few seconds. "Wow." I say. "Fuck you, Aubrey."

"FUCK ME?" He looks at my like he's surprised.

"YES. FUCK YOU!" I repeat

He laughs, "Nah, you getting a little disrespectful and slick at the mouth." He says "It's fuck me?"

"Again, yes, FUCK. You."

He looks at me, then back down at his phone. "Nah, you don't wanna fuck me, remember?" He spits back without making eye contact with me.

"But it's crazy that you would actually say those words to me. Telling me your gonna flick someone else?"

"You know all about it, remember? And you act like you haven't been calling me all types of bitches and hoes. Calling me weak, and whatever shit you could put together. I thought we had a good night. I guess I just got wrapped up in a moment. Excuse me if I thought I could fuck my wife."

"I'm sorry, but you lost that privilege when I asked you plenty of times to fix our marriage and you didn't. You couldn't even try to act like you were. Why should I keep fucking you when you're not doing what I asked. Yeah I'm horny but I'm not about to have sex with you and then you continue to act the same way. I'm not rewarding your behavior. You're fucked up. I'll get it from someone else before I get it from you."

He snaps his head in my direction.

"Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit. If you fuck anybody else, I will make sure you don't fuck nobody else again in your life." He says

I just shake my head, "I told you a long time ago that possessiveness is not cute anymore." I say

"You're selfish as fuck and you try to blame all this shit on me like I'm the only one that needs to change to make this shit work."

"I never said that but I feel like I can definitely say your issues are the cause of a lot of problems that we have right now. I don't like the way you do shit and of course I didn't know that before I married you because I was blinded by the things you were doing for me and the dick, but I haven't had it in a long time and I'm thinking a whole lot more clearly. I just don't fuck with you like that anymore. I told you I wanted a divorce, but you refuse to give me that."

"And I still ain't giving your stupid ass shit. I married you because I loved you but you're really making me hate you right now." He says

"I'm making you hate me because I won't have sex with you?" I repeat for clarity. "Well, I hate you because of the person you are. You want everybody to think you're perfect but you are far from that. You're a narcissist, and you're an insecure little bitch who thinks it's okay to manipulate me into thinking certain things, or a certain way and you're just mad because you can't manipulate me anymore."

I open the door but he grabs my arm before I can step out and pulls me back into the car. He reaches over me and closes the door back.

"Do not get out of this car. There are a bunch of people outside, including paparazzi. Are you stupid?"

I snatch my hand away from him. "Don't fucking tell me what to do. I don't care who's outside. I don't wanna be in his car with you anymore."

I try to open the door again but he flings me on the other side of him, and grabs both of my wrists.

"Stop!" He yells

He had a tight grip on my wrists. I panicked. I had a flashback of the last time things turned physical between us. I started freaking out, and I burst into tears. I felt like I was fighting for my life and no one was there to help me. I managed to turn my body towards his and I kicked him off of me, but he came right back and grabbed my throat with his right hand. He squeezed my neck tight. I felt my airway closing and I started fighting for air. I tried fighting him off of me but he was too strong. I can't kick him off of me because now he's between my legs. All I could do is hope he let go.

I struggled to get words out but somehow I managed to say Drake and he looked me in my eyes and loosened his grip a little. He let me go and backed up a little so I was able to kick him off of me again. I opened the door and jumped out, almost falling to the ground.

"Shawnie, get in the car, you're causing a scene." He yells, still sitting inside of the car.

"NO. LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yell at him, slamming the door.

I turn around and I see a bunch of people looking at me. They all looked confused but I try to ignore them as I take my phone out of my clutch.

"Where's Joe?" I say to myself, wiping my face.

I see Aubrey getting out of the car and I just completely freak out. I don't want anything to do with him. If I didn't have to talk to him ever again I would be completely fine.

"Shawnie, please get back in the car. People are staring at you. You look crazy." He reaches for me but I snatch away from him.

"No!" I say as I finally call Joe on my phone.

He steps closer to me, so close I kinda froze.

"Don't do this right now. Get your ass in the fucking car." He whispers in my ear only for me to hear.

I push him off of me and I could see him losing his composure. He's about to snap.

"I'm not going anywhere with you." I say hoping he'll turn around and just get into his car.

"GET IN THE CAR!" He yells

"I'm coming." Is all I hear on the other side of the phone. He didn't say hello, he didn't ask me what was wrong, the only thing he said was I'm coming and before I could even put my phone back in my purse, he was standing between Aubrey and I.

By this time I can see there are a lot of cameras and pictures being taken and I just hide my face. This is the last thing I want but it is exactly what is needed because he's going to continue to do this behind closed doors so it's time that people see the real him.

I stood behind Joe, clinging onto his arm.

"Drake, just get in the car and leave." Joe says

Aubrey looked around at everyone staring at him, then he looked back at me. He stared through my soul. He was more than upset with me. He looked like he could murder me at that moment. I know Aubrey wanted to say something, but he didn't. He cannot just let shit like this go. He knew he fucked up by raising his voice with everyone watching, and I believe that is the only reason he got back in a car.

"Come on.." Joe says as he puts his jacket around my shoulders, then he puts his arm around me, and we went to get into another car.

We drove back to the Beverly Hills Hotel and got into our car as soon as we could and left LA.

************

Two days have gone by and I have not talked to Aubrey at all. I was a little relieved because I didn't need the stress. There were a lot of rumors swirling around and now everyone knew that our marriage was rocky. All the blogs were speculating about what happened in the car and of course it went to physical altercation but I wasn't going to say anything and I definitely knew Aubrey wasn't going to say anything either. I thought that it was best that I just stay quiet about the situation. They're going to come up with whatever they want anyway.

Christian called to check on me. I told him I was okay. I didn't want to tell him the full situation. I know he knows something is going on with us. Plus I briefly spoke on myself and Aubrey a couple of times and of course he knew because of the whole thing that happened at the restaurant with him and Aubrey. I just want to keep all of that away from him. Not that I'm hiding it, I just don't want that to become the focus of our friendship like it had for other people. When I talk to him I want it to be about everything else.

I have gotten multiple calls from multiple different media outlets asking to get an exclusive with me. It was a little odd because I thought all of this type of shit went through Oliver. The fact that people were calling me on my business line, was throwing me. I felt like my information was being forwarded to these people from Oliver. I don't know if this was a set up or if this was his way of telling me he's not taking care of my business anymore. I was hoping that it was his way of telling me he wasn't handling my business and for me to take care of it myself. I'm fine with that, but damn let me know.

I've never had any issues with Oliver. He's always been nice to me. Hell, he's taken my side a lot of the times that Aubrey and I have gotten into it. I can't say the same thing about Chubbs. Chubbs is always up Aubrey's ass. Niko is Niko. He's always around, but he doesn't talk much unless he has something important to say. He's cool as fuck. I think I might like him the most out of the three. I do look at all of them as my brothers too but they don't want to tell Aubrey when he's wrong and that is a major problem for me. If you're someone's best friend enough to where you guys call each other brothers, you should be able to tell your "brother" when he's wrong.

I feel like I know the best thing to do would be to not say anything but after the whole Chris relationship fallout, I kind of feel like I have to say something. I just want people to know that these entertainers that they worship are not who they say they are. Aubrey is no different.

I asked Joe what I should do and he told me that I needed to do whatever I felt like I needed to do. He told me to do what I thought was right.

I decided I was gonna speak with one person and since Wendy is retired now, I'm going to go with someone that I've always liked and followed. And when I say speak to someone, I don't mean a tell at all, but just someone that can clear things up if they need to be cleared. I'm not gonna go and do a whole interview like I did before because I think that's bullshit. I regretted that shit right after I did it, and The fall out of it all, I just don't want to deal with any of that. If I say something I might have to backtrack and say I was lying again. I don't wanna go through that. I've learned from that mistake.

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