Shawnie's POV

After a very awkward dinner, Christian said his goodbyes and left. I was left sitting there with Aubrey. We were in public so I couldn't really express my anger towards him. I had to remain calm, but as soon as I was able to, I was going to let him have it.

He just stared at me as I sipped the last few sips of my wine. By this time he has moved to the other side of the table. I was more intoxicated than I wanted to be. This turned into as shit-show. I couldn't just up and leave without people looking. I was just riding this out.

"Are you going to say anything?" He says tapping his finger on the table. You could tell he had so much to say but didn't.

"Nope. But I will say, you're a sociopath." I sit my glass down and try to pour more into my glass but the bottle is empty. I catch a random waiter walking by. "Can I have another one please?" I ask, holding up the bottle.

"A glass or a bottle?" The waiter asks

"The bottle." I say

"You know..." Aubrey cuts in. "Just a glass is fine."

"Okay. Coming right up." He says, then leaves.

I just look at him and shake my head.

"You can't help yourself." I spit at him.

"You're drunk. You're going to need help walking out of here. You're cut off." He waves the manager over.

I just sit in my chair and roll my eyes. I am livid. I just wanna leave but I don't wanna cause a scene.

"Look at what you're doing. Of course I'm drunk. Only thing I could do is drink." I say

"All I'm trying to do is make a way for us to get back to a happy medium."

I scuff. "...Happy medium. You're getting desperate...that's what you're doing. Fucking bitch." I spit at him, but we're interrupted by the manager coming over. "He's going to take care of payment." He points to someone behind me and the manager walks off.

"I'm trying to save you." He says, turning his attention back to me. "Ain't nobody gonna love you as much as I do. If I let you go, you ain't gonna be shit but Drake and Chris Brown's baby baby momma. You ain't shit and you ain't never gonna be shit without us. So shut the fuck up, sit there, and smile. So fucking ungrateful."

"I don't give a damn about any of that. You know I don't give a fuck about none of this. Don't act like you're doing me a favor. I don't want this." I say

The waiter comes back and sits my glass on the table in front of me but Aubrey takes it and starts drinking it.

"I'm trying to come up with some type of resolution." He says

"I don't want one." I say, almost in tears. "You're doing this in public where you know I can't just walk out, or say anything to you. You're doing all of this shit to me and I'm still looking out for you, and you have the nerve to tell me I'm not shit?"

"Aight. Whatever. Sorry..... you right."

"But you're not sorry. You never are... I'm done with this conversation."

"You wanna get out of here?" Aubrey says, as he's finishing my wine.

I just nod my head. I'm so upset I'm about to burst out in tears because I can't do anything. I wanna shove that glass down his throat and watch him suffer and bleed out.

"We can go to your place to talk. I know you're upset with me but I'm just doing what I have to do. I wanna talk about it. Let's figure this out." He says

I don't say anything. I know if I open my mouth again, we are going to have a screaming match in the middle of this restaurant.

Joe was sitting at the table with the other guys. I looked over at him. It was like he instantly knew something was wrong, I swear he can read my mind. He stands up and walks over to me.

"You ready to go?" Joe says

"Yes, please." I stand up and look at Aubrey. "I'll text you."

He looks at me confused. "I thought I was coming over so we could talk."

"Nah. It's all good. No conversation is needed." I say

"I have to talk to you about an event that we need to attend together."

"Just text me the details. Is it in California?"

"Yeah." He says

"Okay.. Text me the details and let me know everything. I can meet you somewhere and we can show up at the event together." I say

"You're really doing this?"

"Yes I am. Have a good night." And with that said, Joe and I walked out of the restaurant.

He walked me to the car and we got in. He sat in the driver seat and I sat on the passenger side. I was completely disgusted with Aubrey. I don't know why he just won't let this go but for someone who didn't even want anyone to look at me and wanted me all to himself, to suggest that I secretly see someone else is mind blowing to me. And it's not like it's just anyone, it's Christian.

"You wanna go home?" Joe asks

"No. I'm gonna call Christian and I'm gonna go talk to him." I say

"What happened?"

"He basically told me it was okay if I wanted to date Christian. He even said if we have sex to make sure we used a condom. What?" I say still trying to comprehend his suggestion.

"Did you tell him that you just ran into him the other day?" He asks

"Yes. He won't listen. And I don't have to say anything because there was nothing going on. I had no intentions on getting with Christian or messing around with him. Nothing like that. I don't even know how Aubrey knows. I don't even know how he knew we were here. This shit is starting to get crazy and I don't like it. He's doing everything in his power to keep from breaking up." I say, pissed off.

"Isn't that what you want?"

"No. Not like this. This shit is crazy. Willingly letting me fuck someone else? Are you serious, Joe? Hell no I don't want that. Yes I want him to fight for his relationship but I don't want him to become desperate in doing it. He may be desperate but this is ridiculously low."

"So what, you're going to go to Christian's house and what?" He asks

"I'm gonna talk to him. Once Aubrey said that, he looked at me like what the fuck and I just want to talk to him about it. That's all."

"I understand that you're having all of these types of feelings right now, but don't make it easier for him. Don't go out and make all these mistakes, you are still married. You being with Christian is only making it easier for him to get out. Especially out in public with him. He doesn't wanna leave and he knows if he lets you go then it'll be the biggest mistake of his life. Make him fight for you. I know that's what you want. Don't fuck this relationship off by cheating with Christian. You're worth fighting for."

"I'm not trying to cheat on him with Christian. Christian is a friend, an old friend. Yes we used to date but that doesn't have anything to do with right now. The fact that he just assumed that that is what's going on, just completely turned me off from everything." I say

"So let's do this, call Christian and see what he has to say and then we just go home and chill out. I can pour you some wine, you could roll you a blunt and we'll just try to forget about all of this." Joe suggests

"Whatever. I'm calling Chris."

"What are you calling him for? You don't need to call him and bother him with this." He says

"Yeah I do. He needs to know the crazy shit that Aubrey is doing right now."

"But why? What is that going to do? This is your relationship. All he's gonna do is get upset. He has your daughter at home and he's preparing to go on tour. He doesn't need to hear all of that and I'm sure his girlfriend wouldn't want you calling him at this time."

"Fuck her too." I say

"Do you want to get back with Chris? Like, what's going on between you two?"

"We—." He cuts me off.

"Before you answer that, I don't mean like if you guys are messing around or anything. I mean in your head, mentally with him."

"I've been mentally struggling with the fact that the person who has put me through so much is the person who is really riding for me and having my back when I need him. I feel like he's the only dependable person I have right now." I say

"He is not the only dependable person you have. You have your cousin, and you have your friend."

"When I called him because of some shit that went down with Aubrey, he dropped everything for me and came and got me. Ever since I've come back to LA, it's like we've been working on our friendship. Chris is like a best friend, and I just want to tell him what happened tonight. I understand he's my ex but who else am I gonna call about this bullshit. I feel like only he can understand."

"I am sitting right here next to you. Tell me. I can do whatever you need me to do. I'm dependable, I've proven that. You don't need to involve him. He is a well-known public figure. Don't put him in your drama. Chris is hotheaded. He will bring his ass down to San Diego, beat the shit out of Drake and then get arrested. Do you want that?"

"No." I say, after taking a few seconds to fully think about it. Chris will do that and then that would be another whole situation. I don't want that for him.

"Okay then. Just relax. The motherfucker is digging his own grave. Let him." He says

I smile and look down at my hands. Joe grabs my hand and squeezes it.

"I got you." He says

"I know you do." I smile at him.

"You got me here. Use me. I will gladly whoop his ass for you. I've been trying to get my hands on that motherfucker ever since that night I choked his ass out."

"But the only thing with that is I don't want you to get a lawsuit slapped on you because Aubrey will do that."

"It'll be worth it though." He laughs

"I'm sure it will be but if you're not around to protect me then that will leave me open for anything."

"That's true." He says as if he's actually rethinking it.

"I really like having you around and I'm happy I met you. You have been the literal voice of reason for me and I really am grateful that I met you."

"Same here. But if we're being totally honest, can I say something?"

"Yeah."

"I want to start by saying I know I am majorly overstepping when I say this, but I just feel like it needs to be said.... Can I be the realest with you that I have probably ever been?"

"Yeah... you got me a little nervous though. What do you have to say?" I say

"Stop fucking him." He says as if he's pleading with me, and didn't say it like it was a demand but he said it like he was just over it. He's probably tired of hearing it.

He doesn't even give me any time to respond, he starts talking again.

"Every time you do that you give him ammunition, motivation to keep doing it. He knows you want him in that way. You need to cut them off completely." He says with a super serious face.

I don't know if I should be upset or not. I feel like why is he this comfortable to talk to me this way, but then again, I made him this comfortable. I can't be mad. I know he's right and I thought about this 100 times but when I need some dick who am supposed to call? I don't wanna fall back into my old ways with Chris, Because if we go there again I know I'm gonna end up in the same situation... or maybe not. I don't know. We've both changed and we probably could get our shit together and be great, but I'm scared to go down that road with him again.

"I hear you." I say, then I start laughing. "I be horny."

"Well maybe you should get your fix some other way, or with someone else...." He pauses, then he starts talking again. "If you're trying to divorce him, then be in that mindset. When he shows up at the house you can't just be ready and willing to go fuck him. He knows you're gonna go, and he uses that to get in and you let him in every single time. I want you to have a little bit more willpower when it comes to him. I know it's a struggle because you have voiced to me that he can persuade you to do certain things sometimes but I want you to really think about what you're doing before you do it. You gotta use your brain when it comes to him. He knows how to manipulate your mind to make you say or do things you might not want to do, and if you think about it, this is a dangerous situation."

"I agree to a certain extent. I fold a lot when it comes to him. I just feel like I wanna make him happy because he does everything in his power to make me happy as well most of the time. So when I have an issue he used to often sit his feelings to the side to make me happy and I feel like I should give him that in return. I guess maybe I feel guilty for some reason because he used to go above and beyond for me." I say

"Used to. I'm getting he's not doing it anymore so why should you? He's not doing it the right way. He's doing shit to manipulate the situation. As I told you before, I see things in him that you might not necessarily see because you are heavily involved with him. But from a man to another man, I see exactly what he's doing. A lot of us do this to a lot of women and he is no different. Doesn't matter about his status, he is just a man like the rest of us. And he's insecure as fuck." Joe says

"I will take all of what you say into consideration. I really appreciate you telling me this." I say, purposely avoiding his comments. I do agree with everything he said though. I just don't want to get too deep into it. It's hard to digest.

"Well, I told you I'm gonna be here for you and I am. I mean that shit."

After a couple of minutes of us talking, he finally drives off from the restaurant. As we were driving my phone went off and of course it was Aubrey. Here we go.

Aubrey: Mami I need to see you. I'll come over tomorrow morning so you can sleep on it. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to do everything I can to fix this and you're right I'm desperate. I didn't mean to upset you.

Me: Do not come by the house. I will not answer at the door.

Aubrey: I am only trying to make things work for us. If you want him, you can have him, but I'm not letting you go either. So that was my proposition. If you want a relationship with him then have it.

Me: You're weird.

I sent the text and blocked him. Of course he's not going to remain blocked because I need to talk to him about our son, so I will unblock him in the morning but right now, I just do not want to hear any of the bullshit he's trying to spit.

I go to look at the rest of my text and I see that Chris texted me a couple of hours ago.

Chris: I know it's late notice and I said next week but I will be there tomorrow to bring Genesis. I have two days free. I'll stay for the day and we can see how that goes and maybe I'll stay another day...if you're a good girl. 😊

Me: You're funny. That is perfectly fine, just let me know when you're on your way. I kind of have a situation going on right now but it should definitely be cleared up by tomorrow.

I put my phone down for a second but it dinged in my hand after a minute or two.

Chris: What kind of situation?

Me: Nothing to worry about. I guess it's being taken care of.

Chris: Lexi is coming down and she'll be there in the morning to set up everything.

Me: Look at you!! Helping me out already.

Chris: I just think mommy and daddy need some alone time.

Me: ummm alone time like what? Don't get too excited. LOL

Chris: I got something planned for us. Since I'm gonna be gone on your actual birthday I want to do something for you before I leave.

Me: That's sweet. Okay.

Chris: I'll let you know when I leave. I'm going to take the PJ so it won't take long.

Me: okay.

I closed my message app and locked my phone. I smiled to myself. I know Chris and I are not going to end up together and I know we're really good friends but that still gives me hope. Little things that he does like this, make me smile. It always puts me in the mindset of what if.

"What are you over there smiling at?" Joe asks

"I didn't text him, I looked at my phone and saw that he had already texted me. Chris will be here tomorrow with Gen and Lexi. We're gonna be gone for a few hours because he said he has something planned for us for my birthday."

"That's nice." He says

"Yeah. It is. Especially when he doesn't have to do anything for me. I love the fact that he still thinks about my birthday and wants to do something for me."

"That's cool." Joe says without taking his eyes off the road. "Do you ever think about getting back with him in that way?"

"I really don't think about it that much. I am pretty much set on trying to maintain the friendship. But when he does little things like this, yes I do think about if we can actually try to make it work this time. Both of us are in different places in our lives and we've had a lot of therapy and we just think differently than we did while we were together. I get little glimpses of the Chris that I fell in love with. I know he had a lot going on when we met but he was still able to open himself up to me fully. The same reason that he opened up to me was the reason that I wouldn't. But it's almost like I'm being mindfucked because I am consistently getting that Chris when I'm around him now and I don't know if it's because he's sober or that's just part of him he wants me to see. I'm sure that has a hand in it but I'm really feeling it. I understand what he meant now when he sat me down he told me he wants the me that Aubrey has because I'm starting to feel the same way." I admit

"He told you that?"

"Yeah. Chris and I have always been able to talk about anything. So when things fell apart between us, and we couldn't communicate, it really upset me. But yes, he told me that he's jealous because Aubrey gets the me that he wishes he could've had. But that goes to show how different we are now versus how we were when we were together." I explain

"I don't know this Shawnie that everyone is talking about but I do know the one that's sitting next to me right now and I know you have been through a lot. Maybe whatever it was that you have been through was defining who you are but I'm kind of getting the vibe that that's not the case anymore. I see someone who is trying to take control of her life and is doing it by any means necessary. I see you trying to make good decisions, trying to be a good mother, trying to stand in your shit..." He smiles, "I like that. I think there is something special about you. I think that not a lot of people get to see what I see when we hold those conversations. You are really special and I wish Drake would see what he has and treat you right."

Joe looks over at me and we kind of share a knowing look but I didn't say anything. I don't know what is going through his head and I didn't even want to start to comprehend what was going through mine so I think it was best that I just didn't say anything.

When we got back to the house Joe did exactly what he said he was going to do. He poured me a glass of wine and I lit a blunt and we just watched comedy shows for the rest of the night and so we fell asleep on the sofa.

What y'all think about Joe?
What diss you think about this chapter??