36. Show It

Chris POV

It's been a crazy few days for me. Diamond had our baby girl, Love, and I have been trying to help her the best way that I can. I'm currently preparing for my upcoming tour and things are just all over the place for me right now. I go over to her house and help her as much as I can, of course along with her family and some of her friends but right now it's just a sketchy time because it seems like everyone is watching me right now.

Diamond and I decided from the beginning of the pregnancy that we weren't going to say anything about it and we were going to keep it very private for the sake of her peace. She announced she was pregnant but of course didn't say by whom a lot of my fans suspected that I am the father but we never confirmed anything. So the fact that she has had the baby, a lot of people are watching my moves. I've been trying to be very calculated with how I move because we said we weren't going to announce that I was the father until Love was at least three months old.

My upcoming tour, One Of Them Ones, is turning out to be a huge deal. I announced that I was going to go on tour but now I'm kind of getting a lot of shit because I haven't dropped my album yet. So I've been going back-and-forth with the label about various things, especially a release date. I'm having back-to-back meetings and exactly like I said, things are crazy right now.

In the midst of everything going haywire right now, I have been trying to maintain my relationship with Jasmine. I said I was going to try to take us seriously and that's exactly what I've been trying to do but she knows I have other things that I need to tend to as well.

Jasmine is a good girl and I almost feel bad that I got her mixed up in my world of craziness and baby mamas, and shit. I've really been trying to stay faithful to her the best way that I can but I think everyone knows my feelings now. I still feel how I feel about the Shawnie situation and I still 100% feel that she is the only one that deserves the person that I am now. Shawnie and I had a talk about this and I feel what she's saying but I also know how she feels and I know she's only trying to work on her shit and not feel guilty because I'm not.

So I thought it would be cool if I took Jasmine out on a little date and even though we're not official, I think this will appease her for the moment. I know that's not the right thing to do because it kind of feels like I'm stringing her along when I don't really want anything with her but the truth is, I do want something with her, it's just that I'm not ready for that yet because I feel like I'm not 100% over my ex fiancé. 

We went to a restaurant in LA. Of course it was a bunch of paparazzi all over the place and taking pictures of us and I was a little nervous because even though I kind of had her permission, I still didn't want her to see photos of me with  another woman but that was just something I'll have to deal with when we get to that bridge.

We sat down at the table and I looked at her. She looked genuinely happy. This is something that we don't do often. As a matter of fact, the one and only time we were actually out in public was when I took her to Vegas. Just as fast as people thought we were in a relationship, they thought we were out of the relationship because they never saw her again. So it kind of made me smile that she was happy.

"You look very happy tonight." I say

"Because I am. You have been running around trying to get this album together and rehearsals for the tour and everything like crazy. I'm happy you took time out of your busy schedule to take me out to dinner and make me feel special." She says

"Well I'm happy that you feel special. With Diamond just having the baby and everything I got going on, I felt like you were kind to get in the worst of it because I'm being pulled in all these different directions and you are just letting me live my life and do what I gotta do. I kinda wanna say thank you for that because you don't pressure me into doing anything and I know sometimes I may overreact but you always forgive me and tell me that everything is okay and I appreciate that."

"That's the only way I can be. We're not official, we're not even really trying to be in a relationship right now. I think shit is good how it is. I get to live my life and you get to live yours. I don't have that much drama coming my way or coming from me. I try to stay out of people's way. I just want everyone to be friends, especially with your situation. I didn't see the situation with Shawnie going as far left as it did and I definitely did not see you reacting the way that you did towards me. I don't really mean to bring up old stuff but I—."

I cut her off, "No, talk about it because we never got to."

"I feel like she came in and was maybe going through something at the time and just took it out on me. I shouldn't have reacted how I did, I should've just done what you asked me to do." She says

"Well you're right. She was going through something at the time and she did come to me for some advice on top of getting the weed, but even if she did come on some bullshit and she was just being a bitch towards you I kind of feel like you shouldn't have said anything."

"I see where you're coming from but I'm just supposed to let her talk to me in any kind of way?"

"No, but you could've maybe said it in a nicer way." I say

"Look, I accept you and all of your flaws and all of your baby mamas and all of your side hoes, but I do not and will not deal with disrespect. I felt disrespected and I felt that I shouldn't have been treated that way. I feel like you should've said something and you didn't and that only leads me to believe if that situation or anything like it would happen again that you would react the same way. I feel like she's always going to be number one in your life. It doesn't matter who's in your life at the time, she is going to be number one and you're fine with that."

"You're right. She is always going to be number one for a lot of reasons. I don't feel that I need to explain myself when it comes to her and I'm not going to. I think that that's something that you should just accept and know that I'm still going to do what I gotta do to make you happy."

"But if it comes down to me or her, you're always gonna pick her. That's the one thing that I can't get down with." She says

"I feel you. I will feel the same way. But you know how I am, you're always going to be taken care of regardless of anything."

"But she's gonna be taken care of more. I don't want it to be years down the road and you and I are still going strong and happy and we're getting married or something and you leave the fucking wedding because Shawnie broke a fucking nail. That is the one thing that I fear. That we're in a serious situation and you just drop everything for her because she calls you, and she will do that just because she can."

"First of all, I'm not getting married. So that scenario is out the fucking window. Secondly, we do it for each other."

"She's married." She says with an attitude.

"And she got shit going on. I feel like I'm the only one that's there for her right now and I'm not gonna turn my back on her because she never turned her back on me. Never." I say

She takes a deep breath and then she exhales. "We're never going to see eye to eye on this situation and that's why I just try to accept you and everything that comes with you. I don't want to lose you over some shit that could've been prevented so that's why I'm trying to deal with this. I'm doing the best that I can."

"And you're doing a really good job. I appreciate your honesty and I know you appreciate mine and I hope that this thing between us gets better and more serious and we can stick it out together." I say

"I agree." She smiles. "But I need you to promise me one thing." She says and I instantly get nervous. What the hell is she about to say.

"What's that?" I ask

"If we did decide to really do this thing, you would actually try to give us a chance." She says

"I definitely plan on doing that. What's pretty crazy is that I had a conversation with Shawnie about this and she was telling me that I should put forth the effort with you."

"She said that?"

"Yeah. I don't think it's that she doesn't like you, it's just the overall situation. You gotta look at it. We were together and engaged. She wasn't just my girlfriend like she meant something to me and to my family, so she genuinely cares about me even if we aren't together. I feel the same way about her, so yeah we talked about Drake and we talked about you and that's something that we've always been able to do was talk things out. She said I should take you seriously and really try to make things work with you."

"That's a surprise to me. I thought she hated my guts after our last encounter." She says

"To be fair, Shawnie doesn't like anybody. If we didn't have a kid together, I would be blocked from her phone." I laugh

"That makes me have some type of hope for her and I move forward." She says, "So who does the baby look like?"

"I think she equally looks like both of us but I see a lot of her mother." I answer

"Is anything going to happen between you and Diamond?"

"Nah, those are two things you would never have to worry about, Diamond and Ammika."

"How is she?"

"They both have a long history of arguments and bullshit between the both of them over me. I shouldn't have gone back to Diamond after Shawnie, if I'm being completely honest. I just wanted somebody that was convenient. I was fucking with Diamond because she lived close to me. She was a rebound. I don't fuck with Ammika. That girl is fucking crazy. One minute she wants to be with me, the next minute she hates my fucking guts and doesn't want me to see Aeko. I just don't wanna deal with her. She's constantly sending me pictures of him and I try to talk to him on FaceTime as much as I can but there's something wrong with her."

"All you can do is try to be there for your son and not take the things that she says or does seriously."

"I'm doing exactly that but anyway I don't wanna talk about all that right now let's talk about you and me. We're gonna eat this dinner and then I'm a go home and fuck you because that's what's on my mind and then we can go from there."

She laughs. "I don't know what I'm gonna do with you."

"Love me." I say and she smiles. "I know that's what you want."

Joe's POV

I went to sit down in the living room to watch tv because they were banging so fucking loud, they drove me out of my bedroom. It's been quiet for about an hour, finally they're done. I'm not even gonna lie but hearing her moaning was a massive turn on for me. That shit was hard as hell to sit through. But that could also be because I haven't had sex in a very long time. I had to take some time away because it was taking over my life. Personal decision. I'm not celibate or anything, I just choose to take things slow and not give it to everybody. It's scary out here in these streets.

So I had to put my AirPods in again. If they keep at it like this, I'm gonna start leaving the house.

I see him coming down the stairs, smiling and shit. I can't stand this motherfucker.

"So...she's gonna be out for the rest of the night." He walks over to me and sits on the sofa. I'm sick of hearing that line. "Sorry for all of the noise." He laughs.

I just look at him.

"She can't last more than three rounds." He laughs again. "Why don't you take the rest of the night off. Find yourself some pussy."

"Excuse me?"

"You've been cooped up in the house with her for a while now, why don't you go fall into something." He says smiling.

"I'm not falling into anything, and I'm not leaving her here with you." I say, irritated as hell. Why is he talking to me.

"You take your job seriously, huh?"

"Yes. Someone's life isn't anything to play with." I say

"That's true. Especially if it's my wife's life. That's something we can agree on. I actually wanted to ask you something."

"What do you have to ask me?" I say looking at him sideways.

"Well, her birthday is coming up and I wanted to know if she had something planned. I'm only asking you because you're here with her and you know we ain't on the best terms right now. I know I'm an asshole to you most of the time and I still don't like you but I just need some info."

"You think I'm going to help you or give you any info? If she had another boyfriend I wouldn't tell you shit."

"I wouldn't either but this is my wife and I just want to do something nice for her. We both have been a little down lately. I know you hear the conversations we have." He says

"I do and I see her crying a lot. You have to let up." I say

"I can't let up until she's back home with me. So just help me out. I want her to feel better." He says, "Give me ideas."

I don't wanna tell this motherfucker shit. Why should I help him just so he can continue to mistreat her? He gaslights the shit out of her every time she speaks up for herself. Do I really want to put her in a situation where that can continue? But I guess this is something that she's been wanting. I guess I can help him out, it won't hurt. And if he does do something, I'll just hurt him again.

I inhale and exhale, "Fine. Look, she wants to feel your love. She wants to feel like you want her and no one else. She wants you to put effort into the relationship. Get back to the basics, flowers, spa day, simple texts to let her know you're thinking about her, something simple. She isn't that hard to please. But if I know anything about her, she just wants a quiet night with her kids. She talks about living a quiet life quite often so I can only imagine if you did something where it was just you guys and the kids she would love that. But me personally, I would start with the flowers to let her know you're thinking about her." I say

"Really? She doesn't even like flowers."

"It's the thought...and she likes blue roses." I say

"I know that. How do you know?" He asks

I shrug. "I pay attention."

"I was thinking of a trip to Greece, or Italy."

"A family trip?" I ask

"Nah, just us."

"If you were going to go that route, I would make it a family trip. Including Chris." I say

"Chris?" He squints his face in disgust.

"Yeah."

"Hell naw."

"So...you and I don't ever see eye to eye but, I'm willing to help you out with this because she deserves it. Book a trip. Bring her cousin, her friend Dorian, your friends, Chris and his friends, and maybe his new girlfriend. Please understand me when I tell you that inviting Chris is very crucial to the situation. You have to show her that their relationship doesn't bother you, and that you really would like to make it better. What better way to show her that none of that bothers you than to just invite him out with y'all." I say

"But it does bother me." He says

"I know it does but you have to start doing the work to try to get over that. The three of you need to have a talk but more importantly you need to be open with your wife because if you keep holding shit in and just reacting to everything, you're going to make your situation worse. She's living in San Diego. If she gets any more sick of your shit you know what the next step is going to be."

"I hear you." He says

"So listen to me then."

He just nods his head. "Aight. I'm going to head out. It was a... Nice talk."

"Yup." I say standing up.

I walk him to the door and he leaves. I close the door behind him and I take a seat back on the sofa.

A few minutes later, Shawnie walks downstairs and sits next to me on the loveseat. Her hair was wet and she was in a robe. I guess she just got out of the shower.

"Hey." She says

"What's up?"

"I'm sorry about earlier. I'm embarrassed." She says

"It's not the first time I've heard you. It's cool. It's just sex." I say

"Yeah, it's just sex but it's still embarrassing. And I'm sorry you had to hear it." She says

"I'm not tripping about it. We live in close quarters. This is your home you are free to do whatever you wanna do if you wanna have sex on the kitchen island then do that. I don't have shit to say about it." He laughs nervously.

"Okay, anyway, I wanna go to the beach again tomorrow. I wanna go during the day when it is packed."

"Packed? Are you sure about that? Is your anxiety gonna let you go with all those people around?" I ask

"I hope so. I mean I have you to protect me. I am just internally going through a lot and believe it or not I kind of want to just be around people and be free to do whatever I want to do. The beach the other night went so well I just kind of wanna do it again, during the day."

"Okay. If you're comfortable enough to do this, we can. But as soon as you start to feel uncomfortable I want you to say something. I don't want what happened in Vegas to happen again." I say to her, with a serious face. That was pretty traumatizing for her. I know I can bring her out of it, but why out her in a similar situation.

"You'll be close, I'll let you know when or if I need to go." She says

"When are the kids coming down?"

"Chris is bringing Genesis in a couple of days and Aubrey actually has Atlas with him right now, so he'll probably bring him over later today. But I'm only going to be able to see Atlas for a couple of hours because he wants him to go back with him." She rolls her eyes. "He wants to keep him."

"Why didn't he bring him with him tonight?"

"He wanted to talk...clearly that means have sex too. But we did talk as well." She says

"Well," I pat her on the knee, and she puts her hands on mine. "I'm going to go to bed..."

"Okay, but I just want to say thank you for everything." She says

"It's no biggie." I get up and she takes her hand back and lights a blunt that was in her other hand. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just weak..."

I sit back down. "Why do you think that?"

"Because he comes over here and he forces himself on me and I am not strong enough to tell him no. Don't get me wrong, I wanted it but I should've said no." She shakes her head. "I just feel like how can I make a decision about wanting a divorce, when I can't tell him no face-to-face. I mean, I can tell him no, I just... I'm confused. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Don't worry about it. Have a good night."

"Are you sure?" I ask

"Yeah. Goodnight Joe."

"Aight. Holler if you need me." I say.

"I will."

I walk over to the stairs and turn around to look at her. I felt a little uneasy leaving her down here by herself, smoking. But she said she's okay so I have to believe her. I'll just keep an ear out.


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