Katsuki was awake. He doesn't really know what got him out of his sleep - even if he greatly suspects that it was the other's movements before he got up - and he knows even less why he didn't blast him off when he opened his eyes or at least growled to get him to apologise.

Maybe the fatigue was just too great but he found himself alone in the room staring at the wall, silent, and he stayed there listening to his own breathing for a long time before Deku returned to the room with silent steps.

When the other boy woke up in disaster - there is really no other word to describe it, what a fool - he first tried to go back to sleep, then as he did not succeed he thought he would make him pay and there again, surprise.

Surprise because when he felt the mattress collapse in his back, a clear and obvious sign that the boy was lying down, he continued to pretend to sleep, as if he could hear the little voice of his conscience ask him why the boy deserved to be hit for so little.

And since Katsuki failed to answer it, he preferred to convince himself that he just wanted to see what he was going to do if he did not move and focussed on the boy so as not to think about the uncomfortably tight knot in his chest.

When Deku kept moving, he tried to motivate himself, repeating to himself that the other woke him up, that he's just a spoiled-rotten kid and that it may teach him a healthy lesson but even this thought loop couldn't convince him as it usually does and he doesn't like the impression it gives him of himself.

As if he was lying to himself, looking for reasons to be violent, looking for a good reason to be able to hit the other teenager.

The idea throws a great cold in his insides, of horror and he still ignores the little voice in his head that tells him that this is not all and that he knows it.

Maybe he knows it. Maybe he doesn't want to think about it either, maybe it's too early, too heavy. Frightening.

He keeps thinking, clinging to the idea that the other pisses him off every day with his nice life and that he is the only one to remind him that there is no reason for it to be so easy for him but it really starts to sound too much like an excuse, as if he needed to remember why he hates him because -maybe- it's not a hate as tangible and instinctive as he would like and the more he thinks about it, the more he feels the nausea rise and-

He closes his eyes, clinging to his image, planting his claws in the illusion he makes of his life until he draws blood, anchoring himself to it so as not to fall into those thoughts where he has no guide.

But now he feels doubt making its way like a crack in a wall, leaving enough space for the drizzle of cold air of reason to pass through the fault and make the hair rise from his neck.

He now knows that his life is not as rose-coloured as he imagined it even if it makes his teeth grind, that no matter how much he insists, it is too late to act as if he had not heard the man's authoritarian remarks or noticed that he only speaks barely more than in school and that contrary to what he assumed, he seems to want to be forgotten more than anything.

Now he knows. He knows and he cannot ignore it without accepting that it would be either stupidity or persecution and he does not know which of these two options is the best.

He is interrupted by movement next to him and is let himself get distracted by Deku who continues to toss and turn around.

Katsuki feels the muscles in his arm tensing by reflex when the other's arm passes against his waist and one of his hands get lost on his stomach.

He waits for the moment when he will remove it in a hurry but he feels him stop his breathing and he wants to insult him.

He feels him breathing against his shoulder blades and then cling against him and after a few minutes, he no longer has any doubt that he has fallen asleep.

Suddenly, just as he felt sleep picking him up again, Deku pulls him out of it again, starting to tremble and moan and he feels his t-shirt become cold and damp behind his back. The boy cries in his sleep.

His rising anger flies away magically and all his attention is on the teenager who utters moans of pure pain... like a beast in agony.
He pinches his lips.

He leaves his pride aside and takes his still resting hand on his stomach to cross their fingers together and he caresses his palm with his thumb until he calms down and shuts up. Katsuki feels him getting closer to him and in the end, that's what helps him fall asleep.

The green-haired boy emerges from his sleep because of the sound of the rain hitting the pane of his window.

He opens his eyes and quickly realises that he is totally glued to Kacchan and that their fingers are loosely intertwined.

His cheeks overheat at once and after a few seconds without moving, he distractedly passes his fingers over his stomach, making circles, no heavier than a blow of wind.

Even like that, he can't ignore his friends' muscles and knows that no matter how much he trains with a superhero and as long as he can, he will never be as muscular as he is.

He quickly let go of his hand when a shrill noise sounds.

He turns around far too quickly to turn off his alarm clock and moans in pain.

Shit, he thinks. He went hard this time! He can't even put his two buttcheeks on the mattress.

He tries to sit without much success and whines as tears threaten to flow.

"...Deku?"

Shit, he woke him up. He freezes with the hope that he will go back to sleep if he no longer moves.

"Yes?"

"Why are you getting up so early?"

"I have a lot of things to do. Go back to sleep."

He tries to get up but the pain makes him want to cry just sitting up.

The blonde turns around, facing Deku when he hears him crying.

"What is it now?"

"I...I don't feel well..." At this very moment he puts his hand in front of his mouth holding back from vomiting.

"I'm going to get your mother, don't move."

"My father," protest the other. "Go get my father... last door..." he manages to say before putting himself in a foetal position in his bed, crying.

He leaves the room and follows Deku's instructions before coming in front of a dark door and knocking gently.

"Come in," says a dry voice.

The blonde opens the door and finds himself facing a desk buried under documents.
He takes a few seconds to observe what surrounds him when the man does not look up at him.

There are shelves filled with books and files against the walls, in the centre of the room the desk where Marcus is sat, typing on his computer.
Behind him, he can see another door, made of black wood.

On the ground there are a few sheets of paper, a bottle of alcohol and a stain of what must be wine holds his attention, its maroon colour embedded in the carpet.

He doesn't pay too much attention to it, the bottle could have toppled over.

"So, what did you want to tell me?" He said, raising his eyes from his computer.

"It's Izuku... He is not feeling well and he almost puked."

"Where is he?" The man gets up from his chair.

"In his room, I told him not to move."

He bypasses the furniture and Katsuki accompanies him to the bedroom. Before entering, the man turns to him.

"Go get ready. The bus comes early."

Katsuki obeys but still takes a look in the room.

Marcus passes his hand through Deku's hair and kisses him on the cheek.

Izuku trembles with fear.

Lying on his bed waiting for his father, he is in terrible pain. It's always worse the next day, he knows it now but it doesn't prevent the pain from being persistent.

He feels him sitting on the bed and running a hand through his hair and he doesn't have time to find it strange that he suddenly gets up and grabs him by the hair.

The bastard, the teenager can't help thinking.

He approaches his ear and whispers.

"How many."

His tone is calm and icy. He trembles with fear.

"Three," answers the boy, aware that he is talking about the number of diapers he used.

"You're going to school this afternoon. And do something to stop the bleeding," he says, tightening his grip on his hair and pulling it back.

His skull burns.

"Yes." His voice trembles.

He is afraid, so afraid. Aware that he is weak and defenceless, even more so now that he cannot move. The simple thought of his inability to stop him makes him cry more and the idea of standing against him twists his stomach so hard that he feels like vomiting in fear.

Usually he knows that he would have stayed at home but Kacchan's presence is disrupting their routine.

The grip in his hair releases him, he hears the door close and starts crying softly again.

He is crossed by the crazy thought of Kacchan realising it, that he realises and during the few seconds he allows this disillusionment, he begs him with all he is to help him, even if he knows that he would do everything to prevent him to do so.

Fortunately for him, he quickly comes to his senses and comforts himself in the idea that it will never happen to be able to calm his heart that doesn't like it when he looses himself in these scary scenarios where he faces the adult.

A second door closes and he guesses that it's Kacchan who comes out and by sitting on his bed, he sees a blonde head under a blue umbrella passing the gate of his house through the window.

A peak of pain takes him by surprise and he hastily grabs the bowl under his bed before vomiting into it. His throat burns and he does not stop regurgitating his meal of the day before.

When he wipes his lips and looks at himself in the mirror, he faces an image he doesn't like.
White as a corpse, red eyes and his dirty pyjamas, he pities the blonde who woke up with this horrific view.

He barely recognises himself but a head movement copied by the mirror confirms to him that it is indeed him in the reflection.

He braces himself, unable to stand this vision any longer and gets up holding back a scream. A cold and acute pain pierces through his lower back.

He goes to the bathroom and gets into the shower, after painfully putting his pyjamas in the dirty laundry bin.
His skin is sticky because of sweat and blood has dried between his thighs.

He lets the water run and hold on the wall so as not to fall. His legs are shaking because of the pain and he is afraid to slip.

Once he is clean, he steals a pad from his mother and dresses up.

He goes down the stairs and into the kitchen.
The stairs, when he is in this state, it is his worst nightmare.

He has breakfast that he swallows painfully and then Marcus joins him.

"Go get some fresh air so you can walk normally. I'll pick you up at half past noon in front of the house."

"Yes father," answers the teenager without protest, too happy to be able to move away from the adult, even in this state.

He quickly puts his bowl in the sink and goes out.

He swiftly puts on his hood, grumbling about the bad weather when he feels the rain hitting his head after only a few seconds outside and Izuku regrets to not have had the strength to go to class because Kacchan left with his umbrella.

He goes down his street and arrives in the deserted park.

It doesn't surprise him much and he can't imagine anyone wanting to take their child outside today.

He heads towards the forest where they had made a treehouse when they were younger but he has neither the time nor the strength to get there and sits on a lying trunk, crushed by pain.

He doesn't know how he will manage to go to class this afternoon because no matter how much he tries to make the pain go away, the sensation he feels in the sphincter could not get closer to studs that would have been nailed into his flesh.

The feeling of a sticky liquid flowing inside his thighs makes him stand up in panic and he curses himself for walking so fast.

He comes home, without being seen and then pulls off his sweatpants as soon as he is past the door and plunges it directly into a basin of cold water.

He changes a second time while the garment soaks in water and then spends a good half hour rubbing it in the water that turns pink.

He sits delicately on the sofa and waits for his stepfather quietly, the minutes seeming to slow down.
He decides to turn on the TV but his mind travels and brings him back to the morning, to the fear of being discovered, to the diapers, to shame...

He feels immersed in this feeling, as soaked by it as his pants by his blood and he does not know how to get rid of it, detach himself from it. Too aware of his weakness, his inability to defend himself, his dirt. Dirty because of him and guilty because if he had had a quirk it would never have happened...

He turns off the television. He too feels like he has been soaked in a basin of cold water and when he hears the door open, he is almost happy. He sees Marcus, still in uniform, who yells at him to hurry from the door frame and he seizes his fear as an opportunity to be able to stop thinking and doesn't let it go.

Still caring about his life, he takes his bag and raincoat and gets into his car.

When the bell rings recess time, Katsuki has only a few seconds of respite before being surrounded by his classmates, for his greatest disgust and despair.

"So you're Katsuki," says a boy he doesn't recognise. "We were not introduced, I'm Cito." He extends his hand to him. "Shake on it if you want to stay with strong people. I could accept you in my gang."

The blonde has trouble holding back the annoyance that climbs in him and looks at the boy from top to bottom. He must not know him to dare to talk to him like that, as if Katsuki were a follower, someone who seeks the protection of others to feel stronger. What an arrogant little jerk...

"Not worth it," he simply says and he holds back his smile from eating his face when the other understands what he has just said, apparently not expecting it.

"There are enough fuckups here and I don't need to constantly hang out with their "leader"," he adds just to twist the knife and because he doesn't seem to be very sharp either.

He does not wait for his answer to get up from his chair and he has time to take a few steps in the aisle before being caught up by the teenager's annoyed voice.

"Wait... I think you don't understand... wherever I've been I've always been the strongest. If you don't want to get beaten up, you'd better come here and apologise."

If he had not grabbed his arm to make him turn around, Katsuki would probably have simply ignored him because they both know that he is not worth it. But the teenager with the trembling voice and bruised ego went too far and everyone knows it. And Katsuki is not the type to let nobodies look down on him.

He is still lucky that he is calm today, thinks the blonde as he turns to face him. A glance around him confirms what he already knows, the other students follow their exchange holding their breaths, motionless and silent.

"Listen very carefully dumbass," he sighs. "If you don't want to end up in the hospital, shut up, last warning."

"What did you just say?!" Exclaims the teenager as he approaches him until he is so close that he feels his breath on his face. "You shouldn't talk like that to people you don't know! Do you know where I'm going next year? I'M GOING TO THE SHIKETSU ACADEMY!"

Katsuki hears some students start eagerly whispering and as he does not want to keep this going on forever as he had planned to spend a quiet moment on the roof, he rolls his eyes and is about to answer, only to be interrupted again by the boy who has regained his cockiness and who produces flames with his hands, surely to try to intimidate him.

"So, what do you say now?"

"I say that they accept everyone in this shitty high school. Are you proud because you're going in a good ranked school? Well done. I'm going to Yuei next year."

He sees his expression melt and become livid and Katsuki savours his victory even more when he takes two steps back when he understands what he could do to him.

"Actually, if you want to fight I'm in, I need to let off steam," adds Katsuki with a predatory smile, realising that he may be more upset by his presence than he thought.

He puts his hand, crackling of explosions a few centimetres away from the teenager's face to see him lose all his colours and then he moves away, resuming his initial goal without paying attention to the two boys who begin to follow him like good little dogs, his show of strength having helped them remember their place.

When he returns to class, he does not have time to reach his chair that he is called by his teacher who signals him to approach his desk. He puts his hands in his pockets to hide the smoke that comes out of it, starting to be quite annoyed to be constantly called on.

"I noticed that Izuku is absent again today..." starts the man by packing copies to make a bunch of them. "You're at his place this week, do you know what he has?"

"Not much, he's sick."

The teacher nods with his usual feverishness and hands him a few loose sheets.

"Will you be able to give him these? This is today's lesson."

He takes the sheets in silence hoping that it would be all but the unmoving gazes he meets when he turns to go back to his desk tell him the opposite.

And it doesn't take long for him to find himself surrounded by his classmates.

"So do you really live with this failure for a week? Bummer... " says Max without asking him if he even wants to talk about it.

"Is it true that he is a spoiled little kid? I heard that his mother do what he wants to be forgiven for birthing him without a quirk, is it true?"

Katsuki lets a growl escape him but it doesn't seem to disturb the students who pile up around his desk and who seem more like they want to talk than to listen to his answers.

He is therefore content to answer by monosyllables or very vaguely to the questions he is asked and when the teacher returns from his visit to the photocopier, three-quarters of the middle school students in his class are around him.

There is a beat of silence before the small crowd disperses to return to their places and Katsuki almost wants to thank his teacher for coming in on time because he has already pierced through one of his pockets by holding back from exploding and he is not sure that he could have contained himself for much longer.

"This afternoon, we will receive a member of Yuei High School who comes to schools in the region for a campaign against bullying. I hope you will be on your best behaviours."

Following his announcement, a hubbub rises in the classroom while the teacher marks the word BULLYING with white chalk on the board. Even if he does not show it, Katsuki suddenly feels much more attentive to what surrounds him.

The meridian break comes quite quickly, the students' anticipation annihilating the remaining two hours of class of the morning and Katsuki does not wait for anyone after the bell to take his meal in his locker.

He normally does not pay attention to passing cars that stop in front of the middle school, but when a boy with green hair comes out of one of them when he turns around, he takes the time to observe him.

He sees Deku get out of the car and enter the school under the gaze of the other students, forcing him to lower his head in the hope of being forgotten or becoming invisible but as the hope that he will develop a quirk has been dead for a long time, Katsuki sees him climb towards the roof and decides to follow him.

He calls him while the youngest has leaned against the wall and he sees him turn to him with surprise when he hears his nickname. His face relaxes quickly but he had time to see him tense with fear before he recognised him and Katsuki is not sure he likes it.

He also doesn't have time to think on it because he looks at him calmly, surely waiting for him to tell him something - after all he did call him- and Katsuki... he jumps on the first thing he finds.

"You're not eating, nerd?"

"I forgot my lunch..." he said, giving him a slightly pathetic smile that he doesn't like.

"Well, go eat in the cafeteria."

"No way... The last time I ended up with my head in the tray."

Katsuki sees himself tripping him and hides a grimace behind his hand.

"And I'm not very hungry anyway, you know..." continue the teenager, as if he had forgotten in what state he found him a few hours earlier.

Katsuki remains silent for a few moments and then sits next to him, causing him to shift a little to his right.

"We share. You were sick this morning, you need to eat."

"Thank you Kacchan..."

"I have your lessons and your English test. You have to get them back."

"Yes, of course. Thank you. Do you know how much I got?"

"An A."

"...And you?"

"Same."

He sees him nodding his head in the corner of his eye, seeming to understand that he doesn't really want to talk.

He still gets a little closer to him to eat.

"By the way, there's a Yuei teacher who's coming to do an intervention this afternoon-" starts Katsuki because if he can talk about it seriously to someone in this shithole, it's him.

He had just forgotten that Deku doesn't know how to shut up on this kind of subject and the other doesn't seem to realise that he interrupted him and starts talking to himself.

"WHAT?! Oh my God, you're kidding! It must be because of their new program, or a way to..."

He stops listening to him very quickly but the background noise quickly annoys him and he refrains from giving him a good elbow kick in the ribs.

"DEKU!"

It has the merit of stopping him clean and he watches him curl up on himself with a little relief.

"Yes, Kacchan?"

"Stop that."

"Oh- sorry. Sorry, I was just wondering who and why someone from Yuei would come here..."

"All we know is that it's a Yuei teacher who comes for something against bullying, don't make me regret being nice."

Being side by side, he feels the other's body tense and freeze. He tries not to pay too much attention to it and quickly picks up his lunch.

"Come on, I'll give you your lessons. We have a math test right away, by the way."

"What? Oh no, you could have told me..." he whines, twisting his fingers.

Izuku follows the blonde and goes down the stairs to class, being careful to put his feet properly on the steps and clinging to the railing so hard that his joints are white so that Kacchan does not see that he is suffering and begins to ask questions or worse, to ask himself questions.

When he reaches his level, he is already searching his bag and takes out some loose sheets that he hands him.

He thanks him but his mind is elsewhere. Even having studied his lesson a lot the day before, stress begins to eat at him and it must be on his face since Kacchan taps his arm to catch his attention and tells him.

"When you're finished with your bad imitation of a rain dance, you will tell me what is happening to you."

"I-hum... would you mind reviewing it with me a little more before the test?"

He hates himself almost immediately for having opened his mouth when he sees him raise one of his eyebrows, scolding himself not to have been able to enjoy his classmate's kindness towards him without abusing it immediately.

However, he knows that it is rare for the blonde to feel generous and he already knows that he will have to wait a very long time before experiencing it again, all because he did not know how to hold his tongue.

But he interrupts his thoughts by sitting on the floor with his notebook and he stares at him stupidly for a few seconds before he understands that he is supposed to sit by his side.

"Well, I'm summarising the formulas globally and we see case by case after okay?"

Not believing his chance and still a little surprised to see him cooperate, Izuku can only shake his head and they silently get to work.

The exam sheet in front of his eyes, Izuku looks at the exercises but the numbers mix together and he begins to panic.

He may have had everything in mind a few minutes before going through the door, it's as if all this knowledge had now evaporated.

He risks a look at Kacchan and notes without great surprise that he has already finished.

Their eyes meet and he seems surprised then to understand his situation and rolls his eyes before looking out the window.

Izuku goes back to his paper, feeling more alone than ever and tries to remember the explanations of the explosive boy but his brain parasitizes him with the punishments that Marcus inflicted on him the last time he got a bad grade by whispering to him that that's all he will get out of this test.

He buries his head in his hands to plunge himself in the dark for a few seconds and takes long breaths in the hope of clearing his mind and when he feels that his heart has more or less stopped hammering his torso, he takes his pen again.

When the teacher picks up the copies, Izuku hands him his without too much fear but without the assurance of Kacchan that put his own on the edge of his table and who does not even take a look at it when their teacher comes by to pick it up.

He approaches the blackboard and invites a young woman into the class. Her hair is black and loose on her shoulders, she has rectangular glasses and wears a tailor that must be expensive and that highlights her fine curves.

His completely forgotten test, Izuku stares at her trying to see if he recognises her, in vain.

"Hello everyone, my name is Helga and I am a school psychologist at Yuei," says the woman when she has the attention of all the students.

Izuku keeps his disappointment in hold and tries to follow what she says. She still comes from Yuei, and could still teach him things.

"If I'm in front of you today, it's to talk about school harassment. As you know, many students are victims of bullying and, with my quirk, we will hopefully do an experiment together."

She takes a chalk and begins to write information on the board while the boy feels his hands become sweaty. He does not like the direction this meeting is taking.

"You are going to make pairs: I want the students in the left part of the class to write their first names on a piece of paper and the right part to pick a name, is that okay with you?"

His ears are like stuffed but he still hears his classmates nod.

"My quirk allows you to see thoughts, memories and serves as a transmitter. During the experience, you will live yesterday in the body of your partner. You will feel their emotions, you will see their thoughts and the process without impact. Of course the person will be able to blur their memories so that you do not see everything, the goal is not to enter your privacy and I also want to clarify that I will not see anything either."

"This is an exercise that aims to make you realise that it is important to put yourself in the shoes of others, I would like for you to take it seriously," says their teacher in a trembling voice.

He tries to talk louder than the students' excited whispers but he doesn't really succeed.

The bell rings and the woman informs them that they will start the exercise just after recess and that they can take advantage of this time to ask her questions.

Usually, Izuku would not miss such an opportunity but fear knots his stomach so well that he just gets out of class trying to be as discreet as possible.

He tries to distract himself, to think of something else but the recess time looks like a countdown and the anguish runs in all directions in his head screaming so loud that his ears hurt.

Because no matter how much he thinks that it's not possible, what will happen if he finds himself paired with Julie, one of her girlfriends or worse, Cito, the new student? Will they have the opportunity to humiliate him, to take the opportunity to play with his being as they see fit? Discover some of his small flaws to twist them hideously and make them a shame.

What if they witness what he did to him last night? Because no matter who will see it, if we learn that he has spread his cheeks for his stepfather, he will be in a whole new world of trouble.

The anguish that this last thought gives him is so strong that it takes him by surprise like a wave that suffocates him and the laughters that resonated until then in the playground suddenly all seem to be addressed to him.

He breathes too hard, he knows it - even if he doesn't really know if he's breathing anymore or if he stops for a moment to ask himself - and he's hot, too hot.

He feels like he's in a furnace and his armpits really start to stick to his uniform and the idea of smelling bad engulfs him in a new wave of stress because he knows that if his classmates realise that he smells of sweat, it's a whole new slew of nicknames and mockery that will fall upon him.

His stomach contracts wickedly and his body makes the decision before him to rush to the toilet and he barely has time to lock himself in a cabin when the tears that came out of him without him knowing it turn into sobs.

And since he still can't really breathe, it quickly resolves into a disgusting show when his knees tap against the ground and he clings to the toilet bowl while he vomits the contents of his stomach he feels is still half solid when it passes through his throat.

His eyes cry, he breathes loudly and his hands are clammy and apart from a slight clumsiness caused by adrenaline, nothing else stops him when he takes toilet paper to wipe his mouth when he feels that he has nothing left to spit out.

He leans against the door for a moment, begging his body to calm down a little so as not to let his discomfort appear in the eyes of people who do not want his good.

He crushes his tears with his fingers, empties his bladder and flushes, stops at the tap to drink a little water and chase away the taste of his bile and then returns to the playground ignoring that his legs are shaking and that he does not want to be there.

After all, it's not like he often do what he wants.

He takes advantage of the fresh air to take great intakes of it and hope to give back a little colour to his face that he imagines without much difficulty being white like a ghost. With a slow step, he puts himself under an oak, away from the others and watches the rain fall, closing the zipper of his raincoat.

He closes his eyes for a moment, taking advantage of the last minutes of his break to regain his calm but when the ringing sounds, the charm breaks and he feels in spite of himself all his muscles tense again, ready to endure the blows.

Katsuki may be impressed by this woman's quirk, but the idea that she can get into his head gives him chills too unpleasant for him to decide to stay in her periphery during recess.

No matter how much he gets away from her, he still spends all his break time thinking about it, suppressing jolts of discomfort at every image of what she could do or see in his head.

He puts himself in his seat with his head still as busy as before going out and writes his first name on the piece of paper that was placed on his table before looking distractedly at the students in the right row.

He is not the only one to have had this idea and they all scrutinise each other a little, wondering with a mixture of apprehension and anticipation who will see the inside of their heads.

His gaze passes on the group of girls, on the three who seem to lead the others, and who are more detestable than each other.

He would rather die.

He looks at Pitt, one of the three morons who follow him everywhere without understanding much more than putting one foot in front of the other.

He tells himself that it can be okay and that he can make him forget the desire to talk if it comes to him later.

His gaze goes and finally remains on Deku.

Deku that he saw running away earlier and who looks as white as when he woke up this morning.

He tells himself that he looks as enthusiastic as him about the idea of someone visiting his head and he doesn't have time to dwell any longer on the subject because their teacher distributes the papers and Deku has barely taken his when he turns to him.

He doesn't need more to understand that fate strives to try to bring them closer and he wonders for a moment if it's a good idea. He doesn't really want to.

Deku is his past, a fragile friendship that has not lasted and should not be revived.

Deku is a memory and memories are made to be forgotten.

However, their teacher calls names and the pairs leave the class one by one and when he says his classmate's name, the latter nods to him and he is obliged to follow suit.

"Do you know where we should go?" He asks in a trembling voice, confirming that he doesn't really want to be there.

"In room B12. Didn't you listen to anything?"

He hears him take a deep breath behind him and does not refrain from rolling his eyes.

Once in the room, Helga says a quick hello to them and just takes the time to write down their names before giving them a hand so that they are face to face.

She turns to Deku and tells him:

"From the beginning to the end, you're in charge, okay?"

"Okay."

Katsuki wonders how clammy the green boy's hand is in the woman's. He wouldn't like to be in her place.

He is interrupted by a cold sensation that comes from his arm and envelops him and she barely closes her eyes when he finds himself in the nerd's body. Outside. The day before.

"Oh, Fuck!"

He is in front of the bus stop, with the other students.

He sees himself coming. It's strange to see yourself like that, especially with such an nasty expression on the face.

Oh no... he hear resounding in his head with a voice that is not his.

"Well nerd? Did you forget your bag?"

He knows what he has to answer. What he answered. Deku. What Deku replied.

Not because he remembers it but because his body almost yells it at him, wants to let out the words that boil inside.

He understands that it may be much more complicated to react to their will than what this Helga had made them understand.

"No," he says, following the impulse of the body that is not his.

He sees himself getting angry and he feels his vessel get agitated, regretting these words so quickly that it's sickening.

"You think that you can look down on me because I have to live with you for a week?
Calm the fuck down, Deku! Don't play smart with me!"

He knows that he is impressive. Powerful. He is proud of it and he plays with it. But seeing himself through Deku's eyes and only feeling the tension in his body, he begins to hate himself for a brief moment, hating seeing himself play with his limits, make him believe that he can push him to explode in a few seconds for nothing.

"Yeah! No, but you're really feeling yourself a little too much lately!"

He appreciates her even less from this point of view.

He feels himself trembling and really hopes that he won't start crying. Katsuki does not cry, or so rarely that he has no memory of it and would hate to live the experience whilst being stuck in someone else's body.

He feels overwhelmed by a feeling of doubt and guilt and although it's not his emotions it's feels like it and he would really like for the experience to end as soon as possible.

He does not know how to stop the spreading of this sensation and curses the naivety of this fool and quirkless boy to make him feel all this.

The bus arrives and he gets on it without waiting, already exhausted even if it has only been stuck in the head of the green boy for a few minutes.

He sees Deku's place and goes to it but gets tripped, does not avoid it and falls down.

He is about to say something to him, to insult him copiously to remind him of his place but a bright pain burns his flanc and cuts off any desire to snap back.

Confused and disoriented by this pain that comes out of nowhere, he just gets up in silence under the laughter of other students who make him blush with shame in spite of himself.

He sits down carefully and massages the painful place without understanding what is happening to him.

Katsuki was aware that the quirkless population were weaker than them, but he doesn't think it's to this extent.

When the feeling of guilt returns, Katsuki no longer knows what to do and he just waits while undergoing his classmate's qualms, swallowing his frustration when he feels his cheeks get wet.

Once at the school, he gives his pink slip and go to the study room, a little relieved at the prospect of finally being left alone.

He takes out the math notebook and quickly realises that the exercises he understood in a few moments no longer make sense.

He focusses for a moment, tries to break the barrier between his mind and Deku's and then gives up when he understands that it's useless. He is not there to do his homework in his place.

Deku's thoughts scroll through the back of his head in a distant hubbub that he does not take into account, following in parallel the movements of his body automatically when he takes out a notebook to write in it, not having the energy to go against the current.

There's not much that is very interesting going on until he decides to go to the music hall. Fortunately for him, Deku dodges the few tripping feet in his path this time.

When he takes a violin, he has a few seconds of hesitation where he tells himself that he will not know how to play it before he remembers that his body knows how to use it when the first notes come out of the instrument.

He has a good time there and even if Katsuki could appreciate the music, the simple fact that he ends up crying ruins his whole experience.

When he returns to class, he has only a few seconds to brood in front of his misunderstood exercises that Max drops his pencilcase to the ground while passing in front of his desk.

Katsuki gnaws in silence, aware that he can't do much and bends down to pick it up but Julie kicks it.

He notices that Deku says nothing and even if his rage does not mix well with his childhood friend's adrenaline, he endures it and picks up the pens, ignoring the laughter of others that fuels his anger more with every seconds.

"Well Izuku, what kind of position is this? Do you want to have some that bad?"

The blonde does not understand how he can let them talk without reacting, how he can stay calm while he fights against this body to be able to get up and punch her in the face.

He feels the hope sneaking into the teenager's mind for a moment when one of the girls gets to his level and even if Katsuki was not as naive as him, he feels the pain just as strongly in his body when she crushes it with her few words.

"You look like a slut"

He feels him contain his tears.

His hands are white with how strongly he's squeezing them.

Katsuki has some difficulty accepting that he can't do anything, that regardless of his will, Deku has no quirk to defend himself with and that he would be stepped on at the first gesture of rebellion.

He was right, the quirklesses are weak. But when he sees him like that, defenceless, with the only viable option of enduring in silence, he wonders if it is really useful to remind him of it constantly.

After all, he lives it every day and Katsuki may be intelligent, but he doesn't see a way to stop this train that comes at full speed on the teenager who can do nothing but stay in its way.

The cold sensation resurfaces and after a blink of eyes, he finds himself in front of the woman and Deku who is visibly uncomfortable.

"Shall we exchange?" She says with a smile.

Izuku doesn't really know what to think of this experience when he returns to his body after living the day before in his childhood friend's body.

Maybe it's because he's not very sociable that he doesn't really understand how things work but he still found it strange that Kacchan insults his friends so much in his head and still always stays with them. He wonders if he does the same with him.

There was also the swimming lesson at the community pool. The girls who looked at him like a piece of meat when he was in a swimsuit... it was as embarrassing for him to see it as for the blonde to live it and he is almost sure that Kacchan would prefer that he never talk about it.

Izuku has never looked at someone like they were looking at him and he wonders if it makes him even weirder.

It was a strange experience, to walk in his body, to speak with his voice... not to hurt at every moment and to finally have a quirk, even for a few seconds...

"I can suggest you to exchange your bodies for a minute, now if you want."

"Can you do that?"

"If she says so, Deku!"

He looks at Kacchan and tells himself that he may not have enjoyed being in his body all morning... He lowers his eyes when Helga grabs his hand, not having the strength to face the teenager.

When the cold dissipates and he opens his eyes, he is back in Kacchan's body.

"Wow, that's awesome!" He says without meaning to, closing his fists and taking a few steps.

He is bigger than him and even if he had realised it a little during the experiment, it's more impressive now that he can jump as he want and move freely. They have only about twenty centimetres of height difference but the world already looks so much better from here.

"Can I try your quirk?"

"Yeah..."

His sly tone draws him from his excitement and he comes back to his senses, looking at him and seeing that he grimaces.

A shiver takes him, like a cold shower, when he realises that the other must be in pain and he cannot hold back a grimace when he sees the image he must send back to others.

He looks like a corpse.

He tries to focus on the positive and even lets out an exclamation of joy when small sparks appear from his palms but the charm is already broken for him and he can't help but cast small glances at his body that Kacchan does not really dare to move.

He looks uncomfortable, disgusted to be in his vessel and he understands it so, so well.

Katsuki still decides to test the abilities of this body and jumps off the platform.

What a bad idea.

He hears himself scream but it all gets fuzzy when a cold wave freezes his bones.

The next sensation Izuku perceives is that of the humidity of his tears on his cheeks as he stands as best he can next to the small platform.

He feels the blood flowing between his cheeks, its slightly vicious burn that makes him want to squirm on the spot.

A cold pain takes over his kidneys.

He risks a look at Kacchan who looks at him with something in his eyes that scares him.

"It's nothing" he says. "Just a few sore muscles!"

He seems to believe him. Or he just doesn't say anything.

"This kind of reaction can happen, don't worry", says Helga. "Don't hesitate to go see the nurse if it persists, okay?"

She continues when he nods.

"Well, go back to class and call the following pair please."

The two teenagers follow her requests even if as soon as they enter the classroom, Izuku immediately notices some glances that are thrown in Kacchan's direction and that will certainly be followed by some remarks pitying him to have been paired up with him.

He doesn't need to see it, doesn't really want to either and since he has some free time, he takes his bag and goes to the loo, also taking the opportunity to see the real proportion of the damage.

Izuku clearly felt a few drops of blood travelling along his thigh during their return.

Fortunately for him, a single sheet of toilet paper against his skin is enough to stop the blood flow and he takes the opportunity to put on another pad that he stole from his mother, the previous one threatening not to be able to soak more blood.

The bell rings as he washes his hands and he walks as fast as he can towards the bus, the rain getting more severe and violent on his hood.

Katsuki puts away his umbrella before entering the school bus and passes by the green haired boy who has not seen him to put himself two rows further behind him.

Since they came out of their meeting with this school psychologist, he no longer really knows on which foot to stand and frustration is beginning to make him irritable.

He no longer knows what to think, of himself or the situation and guilt has an awful taste in the back of his mouth.

He is not stupid and he can recognise it, it was not easy to live what Deku experienced yesterday.

So he supposes that he can also admit that it must not be easy to experience it more regularly.

But if he is honest with himself, he already knew that.

And Deku is weak.

He is weak, clumsy and often too-himself to be bearable to be around.

There are reasons that push them to leave him alone.

But he also knows that if he had a quirk, if he were like the others, all these reasons would not really exist.

He doesn't want to dwell on him, to think more about him than he owes to this fucking nerd, but he can't help it.

Because when he repeats to himself for the umpteenth time that he is just weak, and it is his role to remind him of where he belongs, he no longer believes in it that much.

And perhaps it's because it's always that thought that comes first, the one that he repeats to himself to justify everything that it twists his stomach even more than all the others.

Because he is brave to live this every day. And Deku could have given up, changed schools or snapped back, even if it would only have earned him more mockery.

And he can no longer use this against the nerd by saying that it's stupidity or naivety because when people talk about him and say that Katsuki is stubborn, it's a compliment.

He is obstinate. He has goals.

And if Deku had a quirk, people would say he's hard working, that he's a fighter.

And Katsuki can no longer continue to act as if the other was naive and was not aware that it will not get better because Deku is really far from being stupid, ever if he fails to know how to diminish his worst flaws and is a real pain in the ass.

It also enrages him a little, to realise all this because it means that Deku is aware that every time he goes to middle school he takes the risk of being beaten up and that he decided that even if Katsuki trains to become a hero, he could not protect him and that it was better for him to endure it alone rather than to talk to him about it.

He decided that Katsuki was not worth it, that he did not have what it takes to be a hero.

The only thing that takes him out of his thoughts is the smell of smoke that comes from his hands and looking around, he notices that he has arrived to his stop and gets off the bus before it goes on.

He is about to walk up the street that leads to the other teenager's house but stops when he sees the latter getting himself under a tree.

"Deku, what are you doing?"

"Well... I'm waiting for it to calm down. My raincoat is not waterproof enough."

"Come on."

He approaches after a moment of hesitation and puts himself under the umbrella with the blonde, a little close at first and then completely against each other when they arrive near the house.

They didn't talk about it again but Katsuki remembers the pain he felt, a quarter of a second before brutally coming back to his own body and casually, he makes the careful effort to walk more slowly, without waiting for him to tell him that he is in pain.

He doesn't tell him.

At the table, silence reigns. It's not like at home, between him and his mother where there is not a second of calm.

There is only the sound of cutlery, the whispered requests to hand over bread or water.

"So, how was your day?" Asks the man, surely deciding that he wants to have a discussion now.

And although his behaviour as the head of the house irritates Katsuki, they all comply with it, because that's how it is.

"Good. We had a math test, the teacher gave us the results of the English test and we had the visit of a person from Yuei."

"Oh. Did you do good on your test?"

"Yes, I did well."

The man turns to Deku when he does not respond and when the silence continues, the latter raises his head and seems surprised that he is spoken to.

"Me too," he hastens to say.

"And your English test?"

"I got an A."

"You can be proud of your good results, it's important to get into a good school. And you, Izuku?"

"I also had an A."

"Good. And you, darling, your day?"

Katsuki does not listen to the rest of the conversation and sees from the corner of his eye his classmate returning to his plate.

The blonde quickly gets ready to go to bed after the meal that has stretched a little and he is lost in his thoughts, mechanically washing his hair when he is taken out of them by a violin tune and smiles without really realising it, letting himself be lulled by the music that cuts off only a few minutes later.

When he goes to bed, Deku is already asleep so he steps over him and passes an arm around him, telling himself that if it managed to calm him down the day before, maybe it can prevent him from waking up and waking him up during the night.

Instinctively, he responds to his embrace and gets a little more closer against him.

It doesn't take long for his eyes to flutter and Katsuki to fall asleep, lulled by a smell of linden tree.