Katsuki is screwed.

It apparently took him years to realise that he cares a little bit about the nerd and the same number of years to make a reputation for himself.

And between the two the choice is easily made.

He has too much to lose...and becoming kind to him overnight is not an option.

So he's just going to ignore him.

Deku is not difficult to ignore.

He repeats it to himself in a loop. While eating, packing and every day until Friday.

"As you know, we leave Monday at 5:30 a.m. in front of the middle school," says their teacher to their class, too agitated at the idea of the weekend being only minutes away.

"The rooms will be divided in groups of four and not mixed!" He said, casting a disapproving look at the teenagers too full of hormones who are his classmates and who sigh when they hear the announcement.

"The groups will be made by a draw. Give me a paper with your name and put it in the blue or pink bowl."

Once the groups made Katsuki realises that he is with Max and Pitt.

He doesn't know what to think of it but one in the other, it could have been much worse and they know how to shut up relatively quickly when he asks for it.

But the teacher looks at his list, furrowing his eyebrows and mumbling in his breath.

That's never a good sign.

"Is anyone missing today?"

The blonde looks around him and freezes when he notices the inexistence of the green-haired boy in their class.

"Izuku's not here" he says, already knowing what it means for his unlucky self.

"Well, since you are only three, he will go with you!"

The teacher is happy to have solved his problem, Katsuki ruminates internally.

Max begins to whine and is threatened of being excluded from the trip.

He is silent and the explosive hears Pitt tell him that it will be ideal to piss him off. Katsuki joins their jubilations more out of habit than pleasure.

They haven't even left yet he's already fed up.

He's cold, he's not really awake and it's raining.

Katsuki gets on the bus after escaping his old woman and her mother hen's recommendations.

They're leaving with the other nine graders' class but they are all suckers, just as much as the buffoons in his class.

It's five o'clock in the morning.

He knows that he is irritable.

He sits in the last row and wedges himself on the left against a curtain.

He knows that sitting in the middle is a good idea only if the goal is to fall face first in the alley during the trip.

He dozes off for a long time before he understands that there is a latecomer.

He already imagines what he is going to do to this poor moron and the smell of smoke tickles his nostrils.

He is convinced that it is Deku who's causing problems again but no, after a quick glance on the bus he sees him near in the front row, alone.

Half an hour later, the bus starts and he falls asleep.

After three hours, the bus takes a break. They have six hours left to drive and the blonde is already tired of hearing his teacher's voice make unnecessary remarks in the microphone of the bus that distorts his voice.

He sighs and gets out of the bus with the idea of getting some fresh air.

A small breeze passes over his face and he observes the cloudy sky. The grocery store is a little further away, he could make a quick walk to-

Someone bumps into him.

Of course, someone bumps into him.

He begins to calm down and then someone bumps into him.

"Sorry Kacchan! I'm really sorry!"

It could only be him.

"...Move, nerd."

And he runs to the bathroom, his yellow bag in his hands. His tone must be harsh enough for him to understand how much he is restraining himself.

It's typical of Deku: we make promises to ourselves to stay at a distance and he finds a way to ruin everything.

Annoyed, he gets back on the bus without having taken anything and sits in his place, mumbling.

He wakes up with a start because of the shouts of joy, the applause and the "We are on the bridge!" overexcited and coming from all the students on the bus.

Frustration rises and it doesn't fail.

"ARE YOU ALL GOING TO SHUT UP?"

He doesn't understand how can anyone be stupid enough to get so excited just because they passed the halfway point of the trip.

Following his rant, silence is made.

Katsuki may be very tired, but he is at least lucky enough to be able to fall asleep very quickly in transport.

So he ignores the rest of the world and closes his eyes.

The first thing Izuku does when he gets off the bus at lunch break is going to the bathroom.

Why? Because He went at it again.

He called it a souvenir for the trip.

He has everything in this yellow bag: spare clothes, underwear - and diapers -, pads he bought secretly and some painkillers.

Ah, his bento too.

Once he has changed his pad - the second since this morning - he sits in the grass and begins his meal.

He doesn't know with who he's going to share the room with and it worries him more and more.

This little break passes very quickly and he finds himself back in his seat, his teacher next to him.

"Izuku, you're not sleeping?" The latter asks him.

"No! I'm too excited for that!"

The teacher seems satisfied with this and the teenager lets his smile fall.

He can't say he already knows that he's going to have nightmares.

At home it could have happened. Maybe. And usually, when he foresees his nightmares, he doesn't go to bed and does something else, like catching up on his homework.

Here, he doesn't even want to take the risk.

When they arrive at the hotel, they are all amazed.

A terrace on the first floor, balconies for the second and all that with a view of the sea!

So classy and authentic.

Izuku still can't believe his luck and he hopes that the stay will go well.

Each group takes a key and he realises that he still doesn't know his roommates. He approaches his teacher who has the list in his hands.

"Excuse me professor, but I don't know my group."

"Oh! Well you are with Katsuki, Max and Pitt."

"Surprise" says Kacchan without any excitement.

He swallows his saliva with difficulty and follows them.

He goes up to the second floor and enters a rather small room with two beds on the right, a bathroom opposite and a bunk bed on the left. Not to mention the glass sliding-door at the back of the room that overlooks the balcony.

"I'm taking this one," says Kacchan in a tone that leaves no room for arguments.

He puts his suitcase next to the bed at the back of the room.

After several minutes of debate, Pitt finds himself at the bottom of the bunk bed with Max above him and Izuku finds himself bedding next to Kacchan.

He puts their two beds against each other to have more space to circulate, then everyone leaves to do what they want.

The green-haired boy gives up all his dreams for this trip. He couldn't have come across worse roommates.

He goes out on the balcony to get away from the boys and hope for a little respite before one of them get the brilliant idea to pick on him.

He barely put both feet outside when the wind of the sea whips at his face.

He feels the salt on his face and the droplets landing on his skin.

He smiles.

He is at home, on the edge of the cliff.

Alone.

Safe.

He goes back to the room shortly after to go eat.

As he descends the steps, he remembers the salty breath of the sea on his skin to keep his calm and not give in to panic.

They could learn what he hides here more than ever.

He hadn't thought much about it, too happy to be away from his stepfather but the idea crosses him and decides to cling to him to the point of pain.

He enters the dining room and starts smiling.

They won't know.

He has to make sure it doesn't happen.

The tables are made so that they stay with their roommates.

Izuku tries to keep smiling.

It's not so bad after all.

He advances timidly, lowering his head and moving towards Kacchan and his friends' table.

He sits in the only remaining seat when he notices that all eyes are on him.

The red rises to his cheeks. He hadn't noticed that he was so late.

He is startled when waiters bring the plates, and he hears the students' exclamations.

He takes the one given to him. His mouth is watering.

The plate is full of well cooked and seasoned noodles with vegetables and eggs on the side and he nearly foams at the mouth. And the meat!
He doesn't remember the last time he ate meat.

He doesn't really wait before beginning to eat.

It takes him some time to understand that the hollow in his stomach is not caused by hunger but by the absence of the knot that usually lodges there.

"What were you doing?!" Barks the blonde on his right, dragging him out of his thoughts.

He reluctantly puts his chopsticks down and answers him.

"I was on the balcony."

He sees him roll his eyes and he suspects that he insults him when he hears him muttering in a low voice and starts eating again.

He's so hungry.

Later, Izuku goes back to the room and washes himself.

Well, he washes himself after the others.
After all of them.

He checks that the lock is in place and he undresses to enter the shower cubicle.

He soaps his bruised body and passes the stream over his thighs before passing it on his lower back, which is extremely painful.

It hurts a lot and when he goes out, he dries himself while observing his back.

Belt strokes leave injuries and bruises but they are invisible next to the damage of penetration.

Two blackish spots adorn him, as if he had been struck by a curse or as if he were nothing more than livestock marked with iron.

Two bruises, vestiges of his discussions with him. Of the shock of its comings and goings.

Black bruises.
Black blues.

He puts on pyjamas and goes back to the room.

"What the hell are you doing with long-sleeved pyjamas, it's May!" Says one of the boys laughing when he walks through the door.

"I'm just cold..."

He doesn't answer and starts talking to the others again.

Izuku settles on his bed and begins to write in one of his notebook dedicated to superheroes.

Kacchan reads a book while Max takes a magazine out of his suitcase and looks at it with Pitt who's shouting.

The green boy raises his head in their direction while they laugh, too used to this noise bringing him misfortune not to do it, and involuntarily meets Pitt's gaze.

"You want it?" He says, throwing it on the bed.

"No, I'm good! It's-"

He cuts himself when his eyes land on the image.

A feeling of discomfort takes over him and he feels himself beginning to blush.

It's a porn magazine and he doesn't know what to do.

The boy looks up and watches them make fun of him. Kacchan looked up from his book and observes the scene.

"Do you want us to lend it to you?"

"We can leave you alone if you want!"

"You're kidding Max, I'm sure he's the type to like to do this in front of others."

He no longer feels his cheeks with how red they must be.

"No! No, really it's okay! Take it back!"

He knows that he is predictable and that it makes them laugh even more.

His blushes are becoming obscene.

Katsuki looks at the scene and laughs inwardly.

Deku is overreacting so much, becoming red in the face and stuttering as if he had never-

Suddenly, he sees himself digging through his browser history and before even thinking about it, the words come out of his mouth by themselves.

"You've never masturbated Deku?"

He lets it out in such a casual way that Max and Pitt stop laughing and stare at him before staring at Deku.

"Kacchan!" He says shocked and even more red.

He blushes more and more.

"No! You've never done it! Are you really that much of a stuck up?" Shouts Max.

"Of course, I did!" Deku answers, looking away.

"I'm leaving", he adds.
And he gets out of bed to go to the balcony.

The two idiots who remain in the room laugh a little before taking back their bloody magazine.

"I'd better not hear anything or I'll emasculate you!" Says the blonde when he sees them leaning a little too close to a page.

They calm down and go to bed.

But the explosive cannot forget what has just been said.

It's not possible that he never touched himself...

He can easily believe the other boy to be a priss but at some point his body must take over, right?

They are fourteen years old, it must have already happened to him!

Deku is just a fucking prude.

Izuku has never been so ashamed in his life and he feels that his face is burning as he leans on the railing.

He felt obliged to lie, he knows that they would not have let it go the whole stay if he had told the truth or if he had ignored them.

He also hopes that it has not already inspired them new nicknames.

He looks at the beach from the balcony and decides to go train.

He goes back to the room and takes a pair of sweatpants and sneakers.

While he is changing, he hears a teacher come and announce the curfew.

Shit!

Once the adult has left, Izuku leaves the room and goes onto the balcony, pretending to need to get some fresh air.

They don't notice that he changed, nor that he was outside a few minutes earlier. Or they don't care.

In any case, it suits him.

He approaches the left side of the balcony.

As their room is in the corner of the hotel, there is an additional part of it, hidden on the side.

He passes over the railing and carefully goes down along the wall.

Since he jumped off the bridge, he is no longer afraid of heights.

He lands on the ground and runs to the beach which is about ten metres away from him.
He must prove himself worthy of his mentor.

Noticing that there is no structure, he begins to stretch and warm his muscles up.

He tries to make a split then a few push-ups and warms up his abs.

All Might only left him a few weeks.

A few weeks, that's all.
It's almost nothing.

When he feels ready, he runs up and down the beach before doing various acrobatics.

They're a bit wonky. He's so tired.

Be he must give everything, until his last drop of energy and sweat.

This is his last chance to become a hero.

His last chance to be able to live a little.

He trains like this for a good hour and then decides to go back to the room.

He is exhausted.

He can barely stand up and is already out of breath just by looking up at the balcony.

He painstakingly climbs the wall of the latter and then returns to the bathroom.

He stinks terribly and is dripping with sweat. He doesn't need his roommates to designate him as the one who smells in addition to the one who doesn't have a quirk so he rubs his skin under the stream of hot water until it's red.

He slips under the sheets shortly after but keeps his eyes open.

If he sleeps, he will have a nightmare.

They are getting worse and worse lately. Atrocious.

But despite all his efforts, Morpheus takes him in his arms.

The blonde wakes up during the night and notices that Deku is back.

Not that he paid any special attention to his absence when he fell asleep but the teenager is now asleep next to him and he is awake.

He can't sleep.

He is bored.

So he watches him. He has nothing better to do and that may be a good thing because he notices quite quickly that he is crying.

He whispers his name, curious to know what's going on with him but gets no answer.

He insists.

Suddenly the green boy opens his eyes and startles when he sees that he is already being observed.

"Why are you crying, Deku?"

He seems surprised and touches his cheek wet with tears.

His eyes widen and he hurriedly turns around to only present him his back.

"Were you sleeping?" Whispers the blonde who has a hard time believing it even if he saw it with his own eyes.

He doesn't answer and hides under his blanket.

Katsuki had never seen someone cry while sleeping.

He stares at him for a moment, his fragile back that shakes a little more, his way of curling on himself to take up less space. Slowly, he gets closer.

He puts his hand on his back and it stops moving.

He then moves forward slowly, wondering what is the thing that's taking over him without stopping it and put his torso to his back, squeezing him against him.

He feels him crying against him, without being able to stop.

"Calm down...it was just a nightmare..."

"How do you know that I'm crying?" He whispers without freeing himself.

"Because you can't hide anything from me. Sleep now."

It doesn't really work but little by little, Deku calms down and the blonde feels his breathing becoming slow and regular.

He lets himself be lulled by the smell of lime tree.