His eyes wavered, a gulp of saliva slipped down his throat.

Beside him stood his ex, Lee Seojun. And in front of them was his current lover, Kim Taehyung. Or rather, his current lover's alter—V. The situation was a rather odd one, anyone could tell. But Jeongguk wasn't much too concerned about that. About an ex meeting his current man.

No, what he was concerned about was those piercing eyes of Taehyung's. Ones that were ready to pounce on his opponent. For, it didn't take much to tell just how utterly unhappy the man was to see Seojun standing there at his side.

And after a long pause of the men observing each other, Taehyung finally lifted his cigarette back to his lips, one last drag, and then dropped it to the pavement. His feet moved to crush the dimmed blunt, to step over it, and then he strolled towards the other two's direction. Jeongguk took note of the way Seojun moved slightly in front of him, almost protectively, creating a barrier between him and Taehyung.

"Excuse me." Taehyung spoke in a deep firm voice, eyes deadpanned. "My business is with Jeon. Not with you."

"Right, well.. I'm talking to Jeongguk right now." Seojun calmly spoke back, though Jeongguk could tell by his stance that he was cautious of the older male. Dare he say afraid of him, even. "Come back later."

But surely the gang captain wouldn't take such things for an answer.

"Move." Taehyung gave his simple response. "Now. Or I'll introduce your face to my fucking fist."

Seojun narrowed his eyes, brows lowered. Though still, he stood his ground, head held high as he seemed to ponder over what to do. What his next course of action should be. But Taehyung was impatient, and the minute his foot neared the other man, Jeongguk hastily spoke up.

"W-Wait—!" He shouted out, moving hurriedly to grab Seojun's shoulder. "Wait.." He repeated, quieter this time, hesitantly looking toward the older. "I'll go with you, just-... Don't start picking fights with anyone.."

Taehyung merely gazed back at him, the usual lull in his stare, and Jeongguk slowly removed his hands from Seojun.

"I'll catch up with you later... o-okay?"

Seojun blinked back at him in shock, mouth gaped open slightly. "Jeongguk, you-... You don't have to go with him.." He whispered beneath his breath. "Is he.. hurting you..?"

Jeongguk's brows lowered, tongue pushed into the inside of his cheek as he stalled his response, unsure of what to say. He then let a low sigh leave him, and gave the other a weak smile.

"I'll see you later, Seojun.."

He turned, walked toward Taehyung, and proceeded past the school gates to the main building. Taehyung let his deadly stare linger over Seojun before he left to join Jeongguk at his side, away from the entrance area.

There was a moment in which the two didn't say a word. Not a single sound from their lips. Their only company—their very own footsteps, and the rustling of the wind nestled a chill in their skin.

Suddenly Jeongguk felt a careful hand at his arm, and noticed that the older had come to a halt. He slowed down and stopped as well, the large hand on his bicep preventing him from fleeing any further, and Jeongguk turned to meet Taehyung's gaze, the eyes that penetrated his in a lifeless stare.

And then, he waited.

Waited for Taehyung to say something, watched how his lips would pry open to speak, but no words would leave his mouth. The man then slowly released his hold on Jeongguk, and broke their eye contact as he lowered his head.

"I didn't... mean to.." He managed to push the words out from his throat, despite it feeling excruciatingly dry. Jeongguk gaped back at him, waiting on him to elaborate. "Friday night. It wasn't-..."

Another pause. Taehyung reached to scratch at the back of his neck almost impatiently, and Jeongguk was fascinated by it all because, well... He was learning.

Learning why others say the things they say about V, in particular. How he was terrible at apologies—it was so obvious now. Still, he knew what the man meant to say. Understood that this was difficult for him, even. From everything he's gathered from Yerin, he wouldn't expect an I'm sorry to leave his tongue either.

Yet, still. He understood.

"I know.." Jeongguk nearly whispered in response.

More silence. And then.

"You know, don't you..?" A pause. "Of my condition."

Jeongguk hesitated before answering. "Y-Yes."

"I don't-.." A quiet breath. "I can't really control it. You understand?"

Jeongguk held back a smile. "Yes.."

He was amused, now. Amused just watching the man try and explain himself, even though all this could be solved with two simple words. An I'm sorry would've done the job. And yet V would rather drag his words out, speak insensible explanations rather than utter an apology.

"I know all about you.." Jeongguk continued, taking a step closer to the male, causing him to turn his head and look at him again. "But it doesn't mean it didn't hurt me. And, well... M-My arm still hurts, from when you threw me to the ground.."

Taehyung's gaze flickered to the boy's arm, an odd glint in his eyes. Jeongguk wondered just then, if that emotion there was that of regret. He watched as Taehyung just stood there, staring at his arm, seemingly deep in thought for a moment.

And then the man reached forward, carefully pressed his forehead to Jeongguk's shoulder and lingered there while they stood in stillness.

"I'm sorry.." He heard that deep voice rumble beside him. "I'm really really sorry, Jeongguk."

Ever so slowly, Jeongguk's eyes gradually widened, heart pumping alarmingly loud inside his chest at the man's near proximity. How his scent, of musk and cigarettes enchanted his nose. Trapped him in his fantasy. But also—more importantly the words that were spoken to him then.

"I'm so sorry.." Taehyung finished, and fell silent. And after a moment he retreated his face from the boy's shoulder and took a step back, awkwardly standing with his head turned to the side, hiding his eyes behind his long wavy bangs, refused to look at him.

Jeongguk inhaled a sharp breath, gawking at the man for another few seconds. His brow twitched, mouth dropping open while Taehyung skid his foot over the ground restlessly.

After a stalling moment, the boy then finally spoke up, voice quiet.

"V-Vante.."

Taehyung's head snapped toward the younger, eyes wide as he looked at him.

"Y-You're Vante.." Jeongguk whispered, too shocked by the reality in front of him to notice the other's sudden stunned expression.

Through a ragged breath, Taehyung then spoke up. "Wha-... H-How-... How'd you know..?"

"It's-... easy to tell... when I really think about it..." The boy spoke slowly, still processing Vante's abrupt appearance, as surely he was speaking to V only moments ago. And then he felt a sudden urge rush through his veins. Like a sparking current, it was hard to ignore—the sheer desire to communicate what he'd been longing to tell the alter for a while now.

So he found himself stepping forward, didn't even think twice on it. Jeongguk's arms wrapped around the other male and pulled him into his embrace, cheek pressing beside Taehyung's neck. He held him close, tightly, even shut his eyes, afraid that if he didn't the older would dissipate into thin air.

Taehyung's eyes grew wide, felt his body tremble from the shock of the younger's warmth filling his skin.

"I'm s-so sorry for... r-running away f-from you.." Jeongguk whispered in a shaky voice, a throb in his chest.

Taehyung felt a skip of his heartbeat, realized what the boy had meant by those words. That this whole time—this entire time he, too, regretted the last time they had spoken.

"I-I was worried you'd think, that I thought you were crazy.." A pause, followed by a low sniffle. "But that's not true..."

Large hands wavered beside Jeongguk, but not because they were hesitant to return the embrace but rather, Taehyung was far too shocked at the other's actions just then. He had avoided confrontation for so long. Feared of what the boy who meant so much to his host would think of them all, after what had happened.

Yet, it seemed he had nothing to worry about, after all.

"Hurry! We have two minutes!"

The two heard a distant voice shout out while a group of students ran inside the building, and Jeongguk came to his senses and hastily withdrew from their hug at the sound, cheeks flushed red while he pulled his phone to check the time.

"Shit.." He mumbled. "I can't be late for class again.." He lifted his head, and watched the older with determined eyes. "C-Can we meet up after class and-.. and talk for a bit? Please..?"

Taehyung gulped silently while he gazed back at him, then gave a timid nod. One that brought an innocent smile to the younger's face. And then the older hesitated a moment before reaching a hand up, his large finger wiping at Jeongguk's rosy cheek.

"You have tears in your eyes.." Taehyung nearly whispered, a dazed look on his focused expression. Jeongguk let out a quiet sniffle and looked away while the man made it his mission to wipe off the stains of tears over his skin.

"S-Sorry.."

Taehyung quickly shook his head. "No, it's-..." His lips pressed together firmly, a longing in his gaze. He wasn't quite sure how to describe the odd pull at his chest, that drew him strongly to the boy in front of him.

The boy who had shed tears for him.

"Are you okay..?"

That sweet voice tugged him back to reality, and Taehyung removed his hand from Jeongguk's face, somewhat of a fluster withdraw to his step.

"Y-Yeah, I'm good.."

"Good." Jeongguk's hopeful eyes glimmered at him, and fuck, he was so adorable. "I'll text you later... okay?"

Naturally, a smile formed on Taehyung's lips in response.

"Yes. I'll see you later, Gguk.."

※ ※

The tinkling chime of a gentle bell went off, alerting the place to its new customer.

Jeongguk pushed back the wooden door, let it shut behind him, taking the cold wind along with it. He heard a female voice call out to him, welcoming him to the establishment, and was lured toward the front cashier.

He had pulled out his wallet even before the kind woman took his order, then stepped down to wait for his hot drink while he ogled the lavish desserts on display behind a glass encasing. And he was nearly tempted by them, only to remember that he'd been falling behind on his work out routine, so he decided well against it.

"Order for Jeon!" A staff member called out, and Jeongguk waved a hand up before retrieving his drink up front. With a lowered head, he blew ripples over the steaming liquid, then gulped down a sip.

Alas, it was just as he liked it.

With a newfound sense of satisfaction, the boy then proceeded to his usual spot, all the way at the back of the cafe, at a cozy alcove area. Then he sat down, carefully placed his mug over a coaster and pulled a book he'd been reading from his bag. He had managed to focus for a bit, made progress until the last page of the current chapter, until...

Another chime. Swift, yet a bit quiet.

A female voice welcomed someone into the establishment once more, and Jeongguk heard a deep voice utter a grateful response.

He lifted his head from the book, and bit back a smile.

Long dark strands of hair overlayed in fluffs. They bounced while the man moved, active expressions on his face while he placed his order. He must've said something amusing, because the cashier laughed while handing him change.

The handsome man then moved toward the display of desserts as Jeongguk himself had done, eyes wide while he scanned the variety of sweets. Suddenly he was talking with the cashier again, and Jeongguk nearly snorted once the man had received a pink dessert with a bounce in his step.

After that, well, Jeongguk continued to observe him. It wasn't long until his drink was done, and the man turned promptly toward his direction, lifted his head; and the two made eye contact.

Jeongguk finally cracked a big smile, and the handsome man gave a charming laugh.

"Aw, what~ You didn't tell me you were here already.." Taehyung's lips pursed out while he took the seat across from the younger.

Jeongguk gave a quiet giggle while he watched the pout on the other's face.

"My bad.." He grabbed hold of his warm coffee. "Class ended early so... I just came straight here without really thinking."

"Mmh.." Taehyung hummed, slipped a piece of the dessert to his mouth. "And here I thought I was early for once." He then scooped up another slice and leaned forward across the table. His lifted spoon settled beside Jeongguk's lips, and the older watched him expectantly. "Here—try this."

Jeongguk blinked back at him and slowly opened his mouth, letting the other feed the sweet dessert to him. His tongue took hold of the piece before he chewed, and his big eyes grew in delight.

"That's good!" He chirped. "That's really good!"

Taehyung gave a chuckle. "Yeah?"

"Yeah!" Jeongguk bounced in his seat before noting his own over-excitement and quickly calmed himself. He really needed to stop getting thrills from sweets. It wasn't as though he was a kid, still.

"Cute.." The older whispered across from him, an amused grin on his lips while he gazed down at his drink. "They call it the Sakura special. Should I order another for us?"

Jeongguk quickly shook his head and lightly slapped at his own cheek, hard forcing himself to focus. "N-No, no, no, um.. Maybe later, um-..." He lowered his voice, his face suddenly hot from the anticipation rising in his stomach. He wasn't quite sure why it was that he was growing nervous as the seconds went by, but the two were here to talk, after all. "B-Because I've been waiting a long time to... talk to you, Vante. To apologize..."

Taehyung's eyes lifted, watched the young one's timid demeanor. But he, too, was hesitant. Didn't want to overstep himself in the pretty boy's presence.

"That's ridiculous.." He mumbled, after a small moment of ponder. "I'm the one who's been waiting to apologize to you.."

Jeongguk held back a scoff. "Why would you need to apologize to me?"

Taehyung slowly cut down another piece of his crème dessert, his miniature spoon sliding down the smooth surface. "For too many things. I fronted because... I knew V wouldn't be able to say what he meant to say back there.. To apologize properly."

Jeongguk held the mug between both palms, letting its warmth seep into his skin while the other continued speaking.

"You see, V's good at many things, he's-... The reliable hyung in our system. Especially when it comes to survival skills, he's exceptional. As long as the underground scene's concerned." There was a pause. "But where there's strength, there's weakness. Where perfection lies... so do flaws. And V's flaws, well they're... bountiful. Mostly when it comes to his true feelings. Communication. He's not good with his words, they.. become mushy in his throat. Sometimes when he's failing at getting his sincerity across I can feel it as though it were my own frustration. And that's when I can't stand to watch any longer, and... I come out to help."

Jeongguk was quiet for a moment, letting the words seep into his thoughts before his eyes slowly grew big, a realization sinking down on him as though a sudden click.

"So you're like... a peacekeeper, no..?" He spoke quietly. "Is that why.. when-... the whole incident back then with that woman at Tae's apartment..."

Taehyung nodded, left cheek puffed as he chewed. "V was terrible to you. He wanted you to have sex with some stranger—a woman. I know... because I was the one furiously apologizing to you after it all."

Jeongguk's jaw lowered. "Oh.." he whispered. "That's-... I did find it weird that Taehyung would do all that just to later beg for my forgiveness so desperately... It just didn't add up in my head.."

Taehyung cracked a weak grin. "Yes. That's because it wasn't Taehyung—it was V, and then me cleaning up his mess. As always."

The man swallowed down his food and sealed it with another sip of his drink. And Jeongguk, he found himself locking fingers over the table, processing this newfound information. He'd always map it out in his head—things that Taehyung had done before, that had really just been an alter fronting instead. He'd have to relearn the memory, and as a result he'd learn more about how each alter behaves. The parts of Taehyung that he had associated with him, only to later realize they were parts of V instead. Or Dot, or Vante.

It should be complicated in his head. But somehow, surprisingly, it wasn't. It only made more and more sense, the more he gathered these things together.

"Gguk.. Has Joon ever told you about our parents..?"

Taehyung's voice suddenly pierced through his thought mapping, and Jeongguk fluttered his eyes toward the older.

"Ah, um... Well, h-he's told me about your mother."

"How she died?"

Jeongguk blinked in surprise, then slowly shook his head. "I know that your father... passed away. And that it really affected your mother. I figured she wasn't-... wasn't alive, currently. But I wasn't really told that."

Taehyung lowered the small spoon back onto the plate and rested a hand over the wooden table.

"I should tell you..." He whispered quietly. "I should clear it all up for you, it's-... Not going to end well for us if I don't.."

Jeongguk tilted his head to the side, observing the man. "Tell me w-what..?"

The man's eyes shut. His teeth dug into his lip, and he was still for a moment. Jeongguk didn't dare disrupt him. Instead waited for him to open his eyes back up and make firm eye contact.

"V gave me permission.." He spoke quietly. And when Jeongguk gazed back at him with perplexed eyes, he felt the need to elaborate. "Gave me permission to tell you.. About our past."

The younger gulped, hands unclenching against the table before he gave a slow nod.

"Is that okay?"

Another nod.

"Can you.. handle that right now?"

Jeongguk cleared his throat. "Y-Yes, I.. I want to learn more about you. About all of you."

Taehyung reached to push his jacket cuffs up, then lowered his gaze to the table. "I'll keep it brief for now. But what I'm asking of you is to... forgive V for his wrongdoings. Well, I'm not saying you have to, but... I hope that this gives you some context, at the very least. So that you don't despise him too much."

The boy gave a final nod, then watched as Taehyung sucked in a deep breath.

"I'm sure you've heard, about how Taehyung's mother was depressed after she lost her unborn child.." He began cautiously. "She... didn't want to live anymore, actually. So she... took her own life."

Jeongguk sat there, frozen; didn't dare utter a word. And the older proceeded with his words.

"Taehyung's uncle inherited everything. The house, his parents' money. Taehyung, himself. And he-... He was the one who gave us this disorder... The reason we have DID."

The younger's lips parted. A question sat at his tongue, but he didn't dare ask it. And he didn't have to. For Taehyung, or rather Vante himself, answered it for him.

"He was abusive. Very abusive. Verbally abusive, and physically abusive. And Taehyung, he was weak."

The man clenched his fist.

"So V protected him." A quiet exhale. "But the problem with that was, that V himself didn't know what strength was. He didn't know and yet, he needed it to go on. To survive. And our uncle was in charge. He had power. So V learned what strength was, by the example that our uncle gave us. Essentially, V's really an unfinished clone of our uncle. He learned his behavior, his mannerisms, just from watching him. From watching the man he hated most in his life. But he did it all to gain the power to be free. To protect himself, and us, too."

Jeongguk lowered his gaze down to his drink, watched the light steam emerging from its surface while he listened.

"Uncle did terrible things to us. He'd beat us, often. Then insisted that it was a display of love. He'd... bring different women home and fucked them in his bedroom with the door wide open. And when we got a little older he'd talk to us about sins. Like how a boy liking another boy is a sin—and that fucking women is a gift God gave to men. He'd also drink a lot, smoke a lot. He was the worst when he wasn't sober.."

Taehyung let his thumb slide at the edge of the small plate in front of him, collecting his breath before he continued.

"Most of what V does, what he says, it's all things wired into him from observing our uncle. His love of women, his love of sex, his homophobic tendencies, his violent outbursts, what it means to be a man, a real man.." He closed his eyes. "It's like a projection of the past... But I don't blame V. He sacrificed himself to protect us, and yet... I don't think he completely lost himself to be some exact clone of our fucked up uncle."

Jeongguk looked up. Somehow, somehow, he managed to understand such sentiment.

"Only I can hurt what's mine... I've heard V say this a few times.." Taehyung fiddled with the spoon beside his finger. "It's his version of 'I can hurt what's mine'—something Uncle used to tell us before he'd lay his hands on us. By adding 'only I can' to it, you know that V would at least care if you're hurt, unlike our uncle." He gave a scoffed chuckle. "What it really means is that in V's mind he can hurt you because that's what he's learned men do, but others hurting you is something he can't forgive... No one can touch you, but he can. That's at least some improvement, no?"

The boy remained silent, a furrow to his brows.

"And unlike Uncle, V has a lot of respect for women, too. Respect that doesn't come across well, usually, 'cuz he's still got Uncle's foul ways of speech engrained into him. Uncle treated women like dirt, didn't believe love was a thing—no, only lust existed. But V, he... believed in love. In fact, considering there's Uncle's shitty ideals in his head, the truth is that if you were a woman, V would've already fallen in love with you."

Jeongguk's hand began to waver in intervals, a sharp inhale slipped past his lips.

"To him, being like Uncle means you're strong. That you're in control. It's how he was wired the minute he split with Taehyung as a whole, and so I'd imagine it's a difficult habit for him to break from. Still, he's aware it's not ideal behavior, so.. He regrets many things in the way he's treated people. In the way he's treated you."

Taehyung carefully released the tiny silver spoon, and looked at the rigid boy.

"Do you understand?"

Jeongguk gave a small nod, then raised both hands up, over his face, to cover it. Taehyung watched as the boy's body trembled, the sound of a sniff emerging from behind his fingers.

Regret. Conflict. Misunderstandings. Maltreatment.

There were much too many negative concepts in the world he lived in. Many cruel notions that clouded sunny days.

A tear slipped down pale cheeks.

And a large hand reached to soothe it.

✱