A handsome smile. Charming, low chuckles. And thick decor rings adorning the long fingers that tapped rhythmically over the countertop.

Jeongguk feels as though he'd traveled back in time. Back to five years ago, where gazing at his lover's face was but a dream printed in reality. The reality that had left him without warning and haunted him still. Because, every day he'd miss his soulmate's smile. Miss his quiet laughs, his soft breaths. How warm his skin would feel against Jeongguk's own on a lazy morning during quiet weekends, where they'd eat breakfast in bed and make love all night.

Yet, every year around this time—on the anniversary of that fateful night, Jeongguk would see Kim Taehyung's face everywhere. He'd feel crazy because of it, would often think he'd finally lost his mind. But there was always a part of him that would wish it weren't some fantasy his brain mustered up to reflect just how much he missed his past lover.

So there he was again, on the fifth anniversary of Taehyung's death, seeing the man before his very eyes although he knew it wasn't real; that this was some stranger who only appeared to have Taehyung's appearance because Jeongguk himself wished for it, and his mind was far from being sober.

"Would you like another drink, boy?" That deep voice utters. It seeps far, far into Jeongguk's veins and prompts a slight shudder from him.

"Ehm.. Yes, that would be nice.." He responds meekly. "Thank you."

"Mmn." Another tap against the counter. "Order whatever you'd like. It's on me."

And so Jeongguk did. He ordered what he wanted, drink after drink. As alcohol filled his veins, so did his chatter with this stranger. He began to think, maybe this wasn't a bad thing, per se. Maybe he could use this stranger to fulfill his desires tonight—his desire to speak to Kim Taehyung once more. To gaze into his lovely eyes and watch the way his lips would move while he spoke. Then he'd fantasize about kissing him, touching him intimately. But of course, he wouldn't pursue such actions with this stranger. That was a line he just couldn't bring himself to cross.

"Really? You almost took over an entire bakery?"

Jeongguk nods slowly, feeling the weight of his head as he raises his chin. "My mom, she.. owns one back in Busan. I think she was anticipating the day I made it into a family business, but... I took—" A hiccup. "I took after m-my father instead."

The man gazes at him, eyes piercing directly into his soul. Yet there was something oddly comforting about his stare, as though he were intently listening to the boy's every word.

"Hm. And what is it that your father does?"

"Ah, he's a cop... In Busan," Jeongguk slurs his words. "He certainly didn't think I'd want to follow in his footsteps, but... He doesn't seem to mind. My f-family's supportive like that." There was a small pause of chatter, and then Jeongguk continues. "But seriously if you ever go—.. To Busan. If you go to Busan, I'll hook you up with allll the baked goods you can eat."

The stranger cracks a handsome smile, one that Jeongguk's heart responds to in a flutter. The feeling both excites and annoys him all at once. Because, somehow it felt strange to respond such a way to someone that wasn't—

"I would greatly appreciate that. I've yet to find a good taiyaki place here in the city."

Jeongguk leans his arm against the counter and softens his gaze. "You love taiyaki, huh?" He trails off. "Are you new to Seoul?"

"Very much so. I'm unfamiliar with the city, but it's growing on me."

The boy blinks slowly, cheek pressing into his palm as he admires the stranger, from his familiar handsome face down to his full attire. The man watches him, lets the comfortable silence settle between them while the busking bar chatter fills their lack of conversation.

"What is it, boy?" The stranger then finally speaks. "You're staring at me with such severity I fear you'll punch holes through my body with those eyes of yours."

"Ah, s-sorry, it's just..." Jeongguk straightens his shoulder, gaze falling while his cheeks flush a light crimson. "Your suit is very nice.." He tugs a small smile. "Green looks very good on you."

The man's head slowly lowers while he looks down at his vest, his left brow quirks in scrutiny. "Green..?" He lets out an irritated 'tsk' sound and with a click of his tongue, swallows a gulp of alcohol down his throat. "The lady said it's blue fabric. Is it really green?"

Jeongguk gazes at him, a hint of both amazement and confusion in his eyes. "Um, yes. It's.. green."

"Hmn." The male sighs beneath his breath. "Well. It's fine as long as it looks good, I suppose."

"Are you perhaps colorblind?" Jeongguk asks gently, then watches as the man meets his eyes.

"That's correct, little drunk boy. I have tritanopia." He lifts his chin back to take yet another sip. "And on top of that I need glasses. Mostly for reading though. To conclude it all, my vision just isn't the greatest, you know?"

Jeongguk lets out a small giggle and leans once more against the counter. "Ah, you-... You keep calling me 'boy'... My name is Jeongguk." He smiles. "Jeon Jeongguk. It's nice to meet you, little drunk man."

"Jeon Jeongguk.." The man repeats in a mutter. "That's a lovely name. Though I'm neither drunk nor little."

The boy lowers his head, emits another small laugh before he gazes at his drink for a moment to bite down on his smile, an attempt to prevent it from growing. And then he speaks softly.

"And you? What's your name?"

"Ah." The man holds his drink in one hand. "I'm Kim Taehyung."

Jeongguk freezes.

He snaps his head up so quickly it almost gives him a headache. And yet, the whiplash of hearing his past lover's name being uttered by a man that looks like him—looks exactly like him... His heart rate had a difficult time remaining at a steady speed.

With wide eyes, Jeongguk's face falls pale for a moment. He thinks, allows himself a second to just think. Though eventually, he concludes that he's much too drunk for him to have possibly heard the man properly. After all there was no way those strangers he spotted, while stumbling down the street while a full moon replaced the setting sun, were all Taehyung as well.

No. He was merely hallucinating him. Hearing things. It was understandable, since it's still the five year anniversary since his lover's death.

That's right. He had to calm down.

"Something wrong, Jaewon?" The man's deep voice cuts in. "Ah, no... Jeongeun...? Mmn, no..."

"Jeongguk.."

"Right. Jeongguk, with the lovely voice." A curt laugh. "My apologies, I'm simply terrible with names. Even with lovely ones. It's really a shame."

The boy shakes his head in silence. "It's alright. I'm okay, it's just-... You remind me of someone I knew, that's all."

"Someone you knew?"

"Yes."

The two men took a moment to fill their bodies with another shot of alcohol. "Why, this person must've been handsome and dashing. Perhaps even quite the comedian."

Jeongguk cracked a small grin, fingers sliding past the shot glass. "He was.."

Right. All he had to do was calm down. This man carried a sophisticated manner to him. It was in the way he dressed, his manner of speaking. He may look like Taehyung through biased, drunken lenses. But it was obvious to Jeongguk that he was merely seeing what he wanted to see. Hearing what he wanted to hear.

He had held Taehyung's lifeless body in his arms. Had cried tears for him in the passage of time.

He must remember that pain he felt. It was all that kept him going, toward his goal.

"You've got quite the face on right now, boy.."

The man's voice, it sounds just like Taehyung still. When Jeongguk lifts his head to meet his eyes again he's faced with emotions he didn't quite know how to dismantle. And then—

"How are we doing? Do you lovely men need more drinks?" The bartender's voice suddenly cuts in, redirecting the two's attention toward him.

The suited stranger lifts a smirk. "If you're going to insist, one can't possibly turn down such a request."

"Whatever you say, Jaeho-ssi." The bartender chuckles softly. "I'm just glad you're finally socializing instead of coming here to drink and read your stupid book."

"Hey now, reading is lovely." The man responds in his deep voice. "Don't knock it 'til you try it."

Jeongguk blinks slowly.

Jaeho-ssi?

Did the bartender just call him Jaeho?

He lets out a quiet breath, hands loosening on his alcoholic drink. Holy shit, he thinks. That's right—Jeongguk really did mishear the stranger when he had told him his name.

Well, of course he had misheard him. He had visited Taehyung's grave just earlier. How on earth would he possibly be sitting beside him having a drink with him?

Of course. How could he have been so stupid? Jeongguk's wish could never become a reality. That was simply impossible.

"I-I need— I need to go.." He mutters weakly. "I need to go home. My roommate's... He's waiting for me."

Roommate.

He had chosen to refer to Seojun as his roommate. Why couldn't he ever say it? That his boyfriend was waiting for him.

"Already? The night is young, Junghyun."

"Jeongguk.." He corrected softly. "I'm sorry. It was very lovely meeting you." He lowered himself in a bow. "Have a good night, Jaeho-ssi."

He stumbles on his way down from the bar stool, and the suited stranger merely blinks at him.

"Yeah. Lovely to meet you too, little drunk boy."

※ ※

The mixed aroma of caffeine and caramel ooze from the air, seep into the walls. Low chatter scatter across the cafe, where people sat in solitude while working on their laptops, or enjoyed a cup of iced coffee to cool down.

Jeongguk stands in line while, scans menu items. His eyes roam the options, gave considerate thought to what it was he wanted to order.

He remembers being on the other side of the counter, being the one to take orders for customers, learning to work the coffee machines. He remembered the joy he used to get all those years ago when Taehyung would come visit him during slow shifts. He'd order sweet drinks, make childish requests like demanding he get a few kisses on the cheek.

Now all he could do was stand there, while strangers avoided his gaze and baristas attended those in front of him for their orders. And yet just as Jeongguk made small steps forward, the sound of a miniature bell signaled the arrival of a new customer.

Out of instinct his head turned, his curious gaze lands on a tall man that appeared before him as he made his way towards the queue.

His eyes enlarge.

The sight of the familiar striking face made Jeongguk freeze in his spot. For, how could he have expected the sudden appearance of this man, at this particular timing?

Through softened breaths Jeongguk inhales inaudibly, and in that moment the two men's eyes meet.

"Oh—" The man rolls out. "Jeongguk...?" His eyes blink repeatedly for a brief moment. "It's you, isn't it? Jeon Jeongguk?"

The boy's palms open up beside him, large doe eyes gaping at the male before him. "S-Seokjin-hyung.." He almost whispers. "Yes, it's-... It's me."

"You're back in Seoul?" His brows lift in evident surprise. "I believe I haven't seen you in about, what, four years now?!"

"Yes, I'm-.. I'm back." He stutters softly. "I've been back for a while now." There is a brief moment where the two men merely stare at each other, as though to take in one another's appearance. Finally, Jeongguk speaks up again. "You look great, as always." He laughs softly. "Have you been doing well?

"Yes, I suppose I've been well." Seokjin responds. "Though I must admit I am much more curious about you, kid."

"Oh, what is there to be curious about?" Jeongguk's smile reach his eyes.

The man snorts. "For starters, I hear you're a cop now?"

"Oh, you-... must've been in contact with Hoseok these past few years, huh.."

"Yoongi as well."

In that moment the line towards the barista clears up, and Jeongguk turns to see that he was next to order.

"Why don't you find us a table?" Seokjin adds. "I'll order us drinks and we can chat for a bit. How does that sound?"

"That's perfect," says Jeongguk, a snug feeling rising at his skin. A nostalgic one, as though he were back to five years ago again—a time where interacting with the Bangtan members was nearly an every day feat.

And when he finds himself seated at a cozy chair, tucked into one of the corner tables that sink a sense of privacy from the rest, Jeongguk had a difficult time accepting this random coincidence. Finding Kim Seokjin of the Bangtan Boys here, of all places. His heart ached in conflict.

He's had such happy days before, heading to Abyss Karaoke after classes to hang out and meet up with Taehyung. Despite the establishment being a hidden gang gathering spot, Jeongguk loved that place. He loved the Bangtan gang. Loved when Jimin tagged along, or even the allied Namida group.

He held those days dear to his heart. How he laughed, cried, learned.

Those were days he most felt he was alive.

And part of him died along with Kim Taehyung that day.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Seokjin's careful voice settle at his ears, once he had retrieved cool drinks for them both. When Jeongguk looked up at the man seated before him, at his gentle gaze and bright eyes, he just knew.

He knew that Seokjin felt everything he did in that moment. Knew that the older understood what it was he was thinking, what he was mourning. Or rather, who.

So Jeongguk couldn't hold back any longer.

He completely broke down, tears surfacing his eyes in an instant. He snaps his palms up to cover his face, head lowered while his shoulders shook along with his trembling body. He gasps out curt breaths, nails digging to his forehead.

"I-I m-miss h-him so m-much, hyung..." He wails out quietly. Helpless. He was utterly helpless. Pathetic, even. For he didn't last long before becoming entirely weak in front of someone he hadn't even spoken to in years.

But again, Seokjin understood. He let the boy break down in front of him, allows him a moment to spill his heart out to him.

"I-I d-don't know w-who I'm supposed to be without him.." Jeongguk sniffles, face still hidden behind his hands. "H-He was m-my whole... My whole world. All of t-them were. T-They were a-all a p-part of m-me.."

He sinks down, crossed his arms against the table and buries his head there for a moment, letting his silenced cries out in sharp jolts.

That day five years ago was scorched deep into his memory. Haunted his dreams, even.

He remembered the blast. How it blew everyone in its proximity into the air, burned at their flesh from the explosion. He remembered the faint screams that were nulled because of the loudness of the bang. How every inch of his skin ached in pain, even as he went on his search for Taehyung who had been positioned much too close to that darned building.

That day, the Acre gang blew up Bangtan's warehouse. The Coin Group, who had acted as though they wished to ally with Bangtan, to learn from them, were really only gathering info until they could carry out a mission with their true ally—Acre themselves.

Everyone inside the warehouse died instantly. In the blink of an eye, they were gone. The explosive had detonated from the second floor, where Yerin was stationed.

Those who were far enough felt the wave of the blast, but were able to leave unscathed. This included most of the Acre men, as well as a few Bangtan men who were engaged in physical fights with them. And, of course, Hiro and Jeongguk who were near the shacks.

The people close to the building, near its entrance, suffered severe burns and wounds. Most of them fainted from the blast and later passed away on their way to get medical treatment, like Taehyung did.

And it pained him still. Because why—why couldn't Taehyung have been with Hoseok, for instance? Why couldn't he have been fighting pathetic men and have escaped the blast with his life still in tact?

Jeongguk knew why. Knew that, because it was V who fronted that night, he would run after Yerin first. Knew that the alter had gotten ambitious, betted on the chance that he'd have enough time to pull Yerin from the warehouse before the explosive went off. Because if she was in danger, V would always risk his life to save her.

After all V had risked his life to save Jeongguk before, and he knew that the alter would do the same for Namjoon as well. Those close to him.

In a way, his bravery made him proud of him. He loved that side of V so very much, and yet... part of him wished V would be even more selfish.

Because of his bravery, Jeongguk had to hold Taehyung's unconscious body in front of the warehouse. Had to feel his warmth fading from his hands.

He remembered how the building had caught on fire, spouted debris into its proximity. And how Hiro tried pulling him back from the danger zone. Despite how adamant the Namida man had been about getting him out of there, Jeongguk could also see the tears flooding Hiro's eyes. He knew that he, too, was mourning. Yet he was grateful that despite everything Hiro remained true to V's request to protect him, and ensured Jeongguk's safety that night.

Still, since Jeongguk couldn't leave Taehyung's body, Hiro had no choice but to call an ambulance. Even now Jeongguk remembered the drive to the hospital. How he had gotten a glimmer of hope when the men hooked Taehyung to a monitor only to get a weak heart reading. He was desperate for anything—a weak heart reading was still a heart reading. At least it showed that he was alive. He could hold onto hope as long as there wasn't a flatline.

Where it all went wrong was at the ER.

The doctors had gotten a surge of new patients—both from the blast at the warehouse and from a nearby highway accident. Admitting the new patients was utter chaos, the wait times dragged on longer and immediate attention wasn't always given to those who needed it.

The coordination was a mess, and by the time Taehyung had gotten treatment, it was too late.

Jeongguk was emotionally devastated. For days he felt he was merely a ghost of himself, couldn't feel his own physical presence wherever he went. But what had destroyed him—god, what had really destroyed him, was the day of the funeral that Bangtan held for their deceased members.

The memory of Namjoon, who had recently returned to Seoul after the incident, was forever embedded into his brain.

Namjoon, dressed in all black, who spent the entire funeral standing in front of two pictures of the deceased—Taehyung and Yerin.

The gang leader just stood there. In silence. The whole time.

Though his facial expression had stayed stagnantly blank, his emotions were all too clear to see. His irregular breathing and watered eyes. His clenched palms and pale lips. His void gaze of disbelief.

That day, Namjoon lost both his brother and his sister. His family.

The two people he cared most about. The two whom he had formed Bangtan around. Ever since the two's deaths, the gang was never the same. They became inactive, supposedly a hiatus, though some members continued gang activity through Bangtan's allies.

"Jeongguk.." Seokjin speaks up, pulling the boy from his drifting thoughts. Jeongguk weakly lifts his head, peers at the older while Seokjin signals down to the table with a worried gaze.

The boy follows his line of sight until he's watching his phone shake lightly over the surface. He wipes at his dampened face, reaches to pick up the humming device.

"Someone's been calling you.. Must be important," Seokjin says softly, and Jeongguk examines the screen, where the caller name read 'Jongsu-ya.'

"Ah, it's..." His voice shakes slightly. "It's my coworker from the police force.. Sorry about this."

Seokjin merely shakes his head and smiles, watching patiently as Jeongguk raises the device to his ear.

"Hey, I'm kinda busy right now—"

"Jeongguk!! This is urgent, come to the location I just sent you. ASAP, hurry!!"

The boy opens his mouth to retaliate but before he could voice his thoughts out loud the call cuts off. He lets out a loud sigh and rubs his forehead.

"Hyung, I—"

"Let's talk again. When you have more time." The older leans back in his chair, and Jeongguk's heart throbs a twinge of gratitude. "I get that you're going through a lot.. I'm really sorry things turned out the way they did.."

Jeongguk sniffles, slowly lowering his phone to his pocket. "Why are you apologizing.. It's not your fault."

"I know.." Seokjin lets out a quiet breath, then perks his head up. "Oh, and—Gguk."

Jeongguk looks to him attentively, eyes slowly widening at the words the older words said next.

"You should stop by the Kang Gallery at some point."

"The... Kang Gallery...?"

"Yes. I feel like you'd enjoy a certain someone's work that's been put up just yesterday." He smiles gently. "Miss Kang is still a big fan of his work, even after five years."

Jeongguk's lips part, a light tremor of his fingers.

Taehyung's work. It was being displayed at the gallery, still.

Just as Taehyung himself would've wanted.

And somehow, Jeongguk knows that Seokjin had something to do with this. That he had committed himself to making sure Taehyung's legacy lives on in his work. In his dream. His dream to be an artist.

The boy lowers his head slowly, a grateful bow. The words that followed his tongue emerge shaky into the warm air between them.

"H-Hyung... Thank you..."

※ ※

"So what is it, Jongsu? What's going on?" Jeongguk's breath leaves him in one long exhale. His feet drag on, steps quiet against the concrete where he currently followed his friend diligently.

"I heard word there's to be gang activity at the abandoned building nearby.." Jongsu speaks in a lowered voice. "Maybe we can catch one of those punks in action and take them in for questioning."

Jeongguk's brows rise. "Ah.. catch them in the act?"

"Yes, we'll need evidence after all." The man attaches himself to the concrete wall beside them, then peeks around it to observe the empty area ahead. "If we can get more info on that Apollo guy, I swear we'll hit gold."

Jeongguk pauses for a moment, stays hidden next to the wall.

Apollo.

"Ah, I went undercover to one of those underground clubs. Apparently 'A', the new criminal assisting this new wave of drug traffic is actually named Apollo. That's what the 'A' stands for. Oh, I also learned he only dresses in all black when he's active, but well... that's about it."

Jeongguk gives a quiet hum. "Right. I heard about him from Seojun.."

Jongsu turns to look at him. "Seojun? Is that who you were having lunch with while I was—"

All of a sudden the two hear a rustling noise. Jongsu ceases his words immediately and swivels around the concrete building to peer down the alleyway again. They both reach for the guns hoisted to their belt and glance at each other; and with a simple nod they formulate a plan.

Jongsu raises a finger. Jeongguk darts off quietly to the opposite pathway while Jongsu himself runs down to the clearing, where the abandoned building stood tall in front of them. He brings his gun to eye level, aims it at two figures who stood near the worn down building entrance.

The two criminals quickly realize his presence, and Jongsu's jaw nearly drops because—the guy on the right, he's wearing all black.

He hisses an inhale, sucks on his teeth. He'd been helplessly tailing after info on this 'Apollo' guy who had entered the criminal underground scene with a bang, all without much luck up until now.

So could it be... that this was Apollo right in front of him now?

He knew that the unspoken plan was for Jeongguk to take care of whoever ran toward the right, but truthfully Jongsu was tempted. Tempted to prioritize the guy in all black even if it meant the other criminal's escape.

But unfortunately for him the two's flee response was almost immediate. They were smart enough to run at opposite directions with abrupt timing, which caused a moment of hesitation within Jongsu while he debated over who to run after.

Eventually he came to his senses, wasted no time in hurrying after the man who fled down the left pathway. He had faith that Jeongguk would catch Apollo off guard and pin him down, so his focus quickly redirected to his original target.

Meanwhile, in the narrow pathway situated towards the right of the building, Jeongguk waited at its corners in hiding, both hands gripped to his gun while he kept it aimed towards the ground. It didn't take much too long for him to begin to hear footsteps, and immediately he readies himself for the most opportune moment, until—

The clattering of pebbles drew near. Jeongguk skids one foot past his hidden corner and darts out, lifts his gun up swiftly, aiming it directly at the hooded man running towards him.

The guy jerks his heel to the side in an attempt to stop, the momentum scraping his feet forward. He springs up, manages to balance himself from falling, and lands in the spot directly in front of where Jeongguk stood tall over the cement.

The speedy movement had pushed the criminal's hoodie down, now revealing his entire face, where the aperture of Jeongguk's gun was aimed centered directly between his eyes.

And Jeongguk's entire body freezes in that position, his gaze settling at the handsome face his gun now threatened.

A face he had waken up to many times before in the past. One he had hallucinated into strangers for five years. One he caught sight of in crowds, and at the bar just yesterday. Except he had clearly been intoxicated those times. Not in his right mind.

But right now. Right now he was level headed and perfectly sober.

So why did he see Kim Taehyung's face right in front of him, yet again?

There, alive and well. No mistaking it this time.

Through the silence that drawled on, the two men's gazes were locked on each other, and following a light breeze the older male finally speaks up.

"It's you.." He lets out quietly. "Little drunk boy."

✱