Hindi naman gano'n kalayo ang Japan sa Philipines pero ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagod sa katawan oras na makababa kami ng eroplano. Hindi rin nakatulong na naka-business class kami dahil hindi ako komportable.

It was my first time to ride a plane in a business class so I never knew how to act comfortable there. Puro mayayaman ang nakapaligid. Damn, I hate it.

Pagkalabas namin ng airport, ramdam na ramdam ko kaagad ang pagsisisi dahil sa suot ko. Mabuti na lang, may dalang jacket si Hunter kaya naman kahit papaano, nabawasan yung ginaw na nararamdaman ko.

Dala niya ang tig-isa naming luggage nang may sumalubong aa aming lalaki. Ibinigay nito kay Hunter ang susi ng sasakyan. He, then, thanked the guy in Japanese. Nag-bow naman ito sa kan'ya bago inilahad ang braso para ituro ang kinalulugaran ng sasakyan.

"Are you fluent?" I asked.

He looked at me. "What?"

"In Japanese?"

Tumawa siya bago umiling. "Basic phrases lang. I always have someone to translate everything to me whenever I'm in Japan, South Korea and China," he explained.

He unlocked the car I think he rented, put the luggages and backpack on the compartment, before he opened the door to shotgun's seat. Pinapasok niya ro'n bago niya ito isinara ulit saka umikot para naman pumasok sa driver's seat.

"Do you have a jetlag?" he asked as soon as he entered the driver's seat.

I shut my eyes. "Slightly. I was never good in travelling out of the country. Plus, it's fucking cold."

I didn't see it but I imagined him shrugging and pouting before he started the engine.

"Pahinga muna tayo today sa villa. We have the whole week to enjoy Japan."

***

Hindi ko na alam kung gaano kami katagal bumyahe since oras na umandar ang kotse, nakatulog kaagad ako. Ginising na lang ako ni Hunter nang makapag-park na siya sa harap ng isang bahay.

"Here, cover yourself."

He gave me a padded jacket. Isinuot ko kaagad 'yon dahil based sa itsura ng car windows at mga snow sa sahig, sobrang lamig sa labas.

"Thanks," I said.

Nauna siyang lumabas ng sasakyan. Pinagbuksan niya pa ako bago kinuha ang mga luggage sa compartment. Kinuha ko ang luggage ko pero kinuha niya rin sa akin 'yon. Inirapan ko siya dahil do'n.

As I blew my mouth, kitang-kita ko ang mga usok na lumalabas sa bibig ko. Damn, it's fucking cold!

"Where are we?" I asked, hugging myself.

"In a private villa, Saporro Hokkaido," he answered.

Napanguso ako. Villa pa, huh? Pwede namang hotel na lang.

Inikot ko ang paningin sa lugar. The place is covered in snow. There are other people who, I assumed, are tourists also kasi hindi sila mukhang Japanese. Maybe they are here too to celebrate the holidays.

"Let's go," Hunter said.

Sumunod ako sa kan'ya papasok sa loob. He already has the key to our room. May receptionist na tumulong sa amin sa luggages and bags after we confirmed our booking. Sumunod kami sa babae hanggang sa makarating kami sa place na kinuha ni Hunter for us.

Oras na makarating kami sa loob ng room, I was shocked.

"Wow, it looked so cozy!"

The place was big. Sobrang Japanese ng style niya dahil yung dining area ay walang chair pero may mababang table sa gitna. May fireplace, mini bar, small kitchen, and the bed was big, too! The bedsheet was white but the blanket and pillows were turquoise. It was so good! Hunter and I are going to enjoy playing there, I swear. The place was also warm, pati ang sahig. Nabawasan ang ginaw na nararamdaman ko.

"Do you like it?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes before going to him. "Of course! This is so much better than I've imagined."

He smiled before kissing my lips. "We'll rest all day today. Let's start with our trip tomorrow, since bukas naman talaga ang Christmas."

Tumango ako bago humalik din sa kan'ya. Ginulo niya ang buhok ko bago pinindot ang pisngi ko.

"Let's take a nap together," I said, holding his hand.

Tumango siya bago hinubad ang padded jacket na suot ko.

"Let's tire ourselves more first before getting all the rest that we need."

Tumawa ako bago hinubad din ang mga suot niya. We kept on standing in front of each other, both finally fully naked, before he kissed my mouth whole. He started walking without breaking our kiss until I felt the edge of the bed. He carried me and made me lay on the bed, and then we started fucking each other once again today.

It was another long fucking. We did it in every corner of the place like it's our welcoming party for each other.

***

I woke up without him by my side. Pakiramdam ko rin, nabawi ko na lahat ng tulog na kailangan ko dahil hindi na ako gaanong hilo o pagod. I think I slept too long.

I covered my body with the crumpled turquoise blanket and looked for him. There, I saw him in front of the fireplace. Nilalagyan niya ng mga kahoy 'yon at mas pinag-aapoy.

"Hey," I said before sitting beside him.

"You're awake." He kissed my temple. "Are you hungry?"

Tumango ako. "Medyo. What time is it now?"

He chuckled a little. "It's 9:30 p.m. now."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Gano'n kahaba ang tulog ko?!"

He nodded before putting his arms around my waist. "It's okay. I was kinda rough with you in bed. I want to punish you."

Tumawa ako. "You know I want that punishment of yours."

He laughed in reponse.

He was telling me stories about what he did all day while I was sleeping when my phone started ringing. Napalingon kami pareho do'n.

"Kanina pa tumatawag ang mama mo. I want to answer it and told them you're asleep but I don't want to do it without your permission."

Ngumiti ako at tumango. "Thanks."

Tumayo ako at pumunta sa bedside table. My mother was video calling me. Makikita niyang nakahubad ako ngayon at kumot lang ang nakabalot sa akin!

Anyway, she won't care. If I didn't know, baka gusto na rin niyang mag-asawa at anak ako.

Inayos ko nang bahagya ang sarili bago sinagot ang tawag.

"Ma, hello. Merry Christmas!"

Napakunot-noo ako nang mapagtanto na wala sa bahay si Mama. Considering the amount of uniformed people on the background, she's in the hospital! She was also crying! Her eyes are so swollen!

"Ma, anong nangyari? Bakit nand'yan ka?"

Base sa nakikita ko sa screen, nanginginig siya. Humahagulgol din siya sa iyak bago naupo saka nagsalita.

"Kanina pa kita tinatawagan, bakit ngayon ka lang sumagot?"

"Natutulog ako. Hindi ko naririnig. Ano bang nangyayari? Magsabi ka naman, Ma!"

Napalingon ako kay Hunter na nakaupo sa tabi ko. Nakakunot ang noo niya, mukhang nag-aalala rin tulad ko.

"Ang . . . Papa mo. Nag-cardiac arrest ang papa mo. Hindi ko rin alam, pero lahat ng pera na ibinibigay mo para mabayaran ang mga utang niya, hindi pala niya ibinabayad 'yon doon. Sa halip, ini-invest niya sa isang kompanya na ngayon ay itinakbo ang lahat ng pera niya! Ang ama mo, hindi na talaga matututo kahit kailan!!!"

Parang namanhid ang buong katawan ko nang marinig 'yon. I was already at the edge noong marinig ko na nag-cardiac arrest siya, pero to also know that my money, once again, has been ran off by scammers?

For the fucking . . . third time?!

"Inatake siya sa puso nang malaman na nangibang bansa na ang taong pinagkatiwalaan niya ng mga pera mo. Anak, patawarin mo ako, hindi ko alam na ganoon ang nangyayari. Anak, patawarin mo ako, hindi ko namalayan ang mga ginagawa ng papa mo!"

Hindi ko na inintindi pa ang mga sinasabi ni mama. Ibinaba ko na lang sa kandungan kamay na may hawak na cellphone. Rinig na rinig ko ang hagulgol ni mama, pero ako, wala na.

Wala na akong maramdaman.

Gusto kong masaktan para sa kanil. Gusto kong masaktan dahil sa nangyari kay Papa, pero wala na akong maramdamang kahit ano.

Para akong paulit-ulit na ginagago ng mga magulang ko. Hindi ako naniniwalang walang alam si Mama do'n. Sigurado akong pinagtatakpan niya na naman sa akin ang asawa niya.

Pinatay ko na ang tawag at saka ibinaba ang cellphone sa kama. Lumingon ako kay Hunter na halatang nag-aalala sa akin. Ngumiti ako sa kan'ya.

"Akala ko ba kakain na tayo?"

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya sa sinabi ko. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. Nilingon niya ang cellphone ko bago ibinalik ang tingin sa akin, nagtataka.

"You asked if I'm hungry. I said, medyo. Now, let's eat. It's Christmas eve."

Muli, hindi siya sumagot. I took a deep breath, shut my eyes tight, before screaming his name.

"HUNTER!"

Based on his face, he was shocked. My tears pooled at the corner of my eyes as I glared at him.

"Are we not going to eat our fucking dinner?! Kung ayaw mong kumain, ako na lang ang kakain mag-isa!!!"

Tinanggal ko ang kumot na nagbabalot sa hubad na katawan ko saka isinuot ang mga damit na hinubad ko kanina. I was about to go out of the room when he blocked my way.

"ALIS!" I shouted, glaring at him.

He sighed, looking worried at me, before holding both of my arms.

"Let's go together. 'Wag mo naman akong iwan."

Hinahabol ko na ang paghinga ko dahil sa halo-halong emosyon na nararamdaman ko. Napatigil lang ako nang marahan niya akong hinila saka niyakap.

"I'm here."

Itinulak ko siya nang malakas, dahilan para mapalayo siya sa akin nang bahagya. Kitang-kita ko ang gulat aa mukha niya dahil do'n.

"Isa ka pa! Huwag mo na akong gawing tanga!"

Umawang ang bibig niya. He took a step forward but I stopped him immediately.

"Stop acting like all of these things you're doing is for the fuck buddy thing we have. Alam kong hindi, Hunter! Hindi ako ipinanganak kahapon para hindi malaman ang lahat ng 'to!"

His face softened. He gulped before sighing.

"Fine." He looked at me softly. "I loved you."

Muling nangilid ang mga luha ko sa narinig.

"I've always loved you, Areeya. No, it wasn't love at first sight. It was love at first night. The night you fell asleep after we first fucked each other, I watched you sleep beautifully. I knew from that moment, I never wanted to let you go."

His eyes glistened. I stood here like a statue, unable to move as I watch him confess his true feelings for me.

"But you ran away while I was sleeping, and I never knew how to find you. I didn't know anything about you . . . until I saw you in my company. Right there and then, I knew I had to make a way to keep you by my side."

I scoffed. "You took advantage of me! You made me have sex with you repeatedly! You satisfy yourself by being fucked by the person you love and I am such a dumbass woman to be of use for you because I'm such a horny ass woman. Am I right?"

Tears fell as I realized, I was really taken advantage here. How could he have sex with me? He was in love with me all along. He made me have a second-night stand with him, bind in a contract where he will surely fucking win.

How could I let myself be tied in this situation?

"I know it was wrong. Everything I did was wrong. But . . . your eyes speaks so much to me. It might not be good to hear . . . but you have always wanted to have sex with me. It was all you could ever think of whenever you're with me. And that's okay."

I looked away. I couldn't deny that because it's just the fact he's telling. He won there, fine.

"I didn't have sex with you before I left for my business trip because I wanted to confirm my feelings for you. I didn't come back immediately after that too because I wanted to know how you're going to do. If you'll miss me or miss having sex with me."

He looked up, chuckled, before he continued his line.

"And you missed having sex with me, Aree. That's why I give it all to you because I know that it's the one thing that will make me stay by your side . . . it's the only thing you saw of me. Your fuck buddy . . . just your fuck buddy."

He laughed once again.

"Remember when you said, 'we can't live without having sex with each other'? It was just you. That moment, I made you realize that it was not sex I'm after you. I just want to kiss and touch you. I just want to be with you. I just want you to freely call me by my name. I just . . . I just love you. And I want to do anything to make you happy."

My tears continue to fell while my sobs kept on coming too. He took a step forward and wiped my tears away.

"Mahal kita, Areeya. At ako na ang sumusuko sa laro natin na 'to. I don't want any contract to bind us together. I want us to be together . . . for real. I want to stop this fuck-buddy thing that's going on between us. I want us real."

Umiling ako nang umiling bago marahas na inalis ang mga kamay niyang nakahawak sa mukha ko. Lalong kumunot ang noo niya dahil do'n.

"I don't." I said in between my sobs.

"What?" he said, confused.

"I want this contract to continue going. This contract will only be voided if I fell in love with you too, but no. I didn't. I don't love you, and I'm not in love with you, Hunter."

He gulped, looking away while listening to every word I said.

"Look at me."

He sighed before doing what I said. I started stripping in front of him again as I continue staring at him.

"Unless you want me gone in your life forever, we need this contract to keep on going. Tulad ng sinabi mo, I cannot live without having sex with you. You can, right? Tama ka. I can't. It's all I could ever think about when I'm with you. While I am not obliged to satisfy you, you are obliged to satisfy me. Pleasure me."

Hunter shut his eyes in frustration as he saw me completely naked once again. I'm feeling cold but I don't care. I want to make him feel my frustrations right now.

"You started this contract. I am all you've ever wanted. Now, you cannot just turn your back and call it quits now that you're in love with me. Now, come on! Kiss me! Fuck me all you want! Do everything to my body! I want you to pleasure me now, Hunter. Why are you not moving?!"

He sighed in frustration. "Areeya . . ."

I shook my head. "If you want to break the contract, I'll have to be gone in your life forever, even in your company. I will resign. You won't see me ever again."

He gulped once again before taking a step forward. "If I chose for the contract to keep going, can I revise the terms and conditions?"

Napakunot-noo ako. "What?"

He gave me a sad smile before cupping my face. "There will be only three terms and conditions."

I scoffed. "Fine, then. What is it?"

"First, no man can fuck you aside from me. Second, since it's your body, I know you don't want a child so, if gotten pregnant, contract is already voided. Lastly, like you said, you can't fall in love with me. Anything that was done in these three things will make the contract voided. Is that alright now, woman?"

I raised my eyebrow, nodding in agreement.

"Yes. Now, you can't turn your back on me. You have to have sex with me whenever I want. I will do my best  not to breech the terms and conditions you gave me."

Nagbuntonghininga siya bago pinulot ang mga damit ko saka isinuot ulit sa akin ang mga 'yon.

"I never prayed for this to anyone but right now, all I wanted in life is for you to fail and break the contract."

When I'm finally fully clothed with a padded jacket once again, he held my hand.

"Let's eat our dinner for now before we find a solution for all of this mess," he said before we left the room.

Why . . .

Why am I having mixed emotions right now?

I was sad . . . and angry . . . and scared at what news I received from my mom. But after hearing all those things from Hunter, I felt . . . relieved?

For what?