As she was about to exit Julian's house, Kimberly was stopped by a worried Wendy who noticed that she was on the verge of tears.

Kimberly kept her eyes down as Wendy asked her what was wrong. She didn't want to cry in front of Wendy, especially not over Julian. Not after what he'd just done.

She tried to convince Wendy that she was okay so that Wendy would allow her to leave before Julian caught up to her, but Wendy was the kind of person you couldn't lie to. She didn't look convinced when Kimberly said that she was just sick and needed some fresh air in her lungs.

"You looked fine a few hours ago," was Wendy's reply.

Kimberly was taking deep breaths now. She couldn't do this. She felt suffocated and she just needed to get out of Julian's house...Daphne's old house.

"Oh, Wendy, thank God."

Kimberly tensed up when she heard Julian's frantic voice behind them, and she immediately grabbed onto Wendy, looking her in the eyes and not caring if this would give away what she had been trying to hide. "Don't leave me alone with him," Kimberly begged.

Wendy looked between Kimberly and Julian, confusion and anger clear in her eyes. "What's going on, Jules?" she asked.

"I just – I need to talk to Kimberly," he pleaded.

By now people were looking at the scene that was being made, but Julian didn't seem to care anymore. He just wanted to talk to Kimberly and get her to listen to him. People would talk no matter what, and he was over it. There were more important things to worry about.

"Jules..." Wendy's brows quivered as they flashed back and forth between Kimberly and Julian. It was clear that she wasn't sure what to think, and that was probably the best of the reactions they would receive. "Are you...are the two of you..."

Julian nodded quickly, not letting Wendy finish her sentence as he put a hand on Kimberly's shoulder. "Kimberly," he begged, "Please, talk to me."

She turned around, staring him in the face with a burning anger. It was a front, and she was sure the both of them knew it, but she wasn't about to let herself look weak. She felt miserable and unwanted, but she couldn't let herself wallow in those feelings. She couldn't let herself cry. "How can you possibly have anything to say to me?" she demanded. "I know what I saw."

"Kimberly, can we please talk in private?" he asked, his eyes looking around to the room full of silent people that were now staring at the two of them.

Kimberly saw her father looking at them out of the corner of her eye and she swallowed nervously, nodding at Julian. By now it was too late. She was sure he knew that there was something more going on between the two of them. She wouldn't be able to lie to him about it anymore. And even though her father now knew, instead of being scared, she felt ashamed. She had lied point blank to her parents. She told them that she barely knew Julian and they had believed her. They had trusted her.

She allowed Julian to lead her out of the living room and to the deserted back corridor of the house.

Conversation slowly began to pick up once they were gone, and Kimberly felt like crying all over again. Not because of Julian this time though, because of everyone but Julian. Because of what they would all think about her.

When they were safely away from everyone else, Kimberly felt an all new kind of nervous. Julian took her hand in his but she recoiled from his touch, wrapping her arms around herself as she looked up at him blankly. He was wincing from his leg and he looked like he was on the verge of tears. His eyes begged and pleaded for Kimberly to forgive him, but he had done the unforgivable.

It hurt her to see him torn up like this, but at that moment she didn't care. She just wanted to hear how he was going to try and justify himself. Another lie, maybe?

"Kimberly..."

She just looked up at him, not saying anything and waiting for him to continue. She knew what her name was and didn't need for him to keep on repeating it. She needed answers!

He reached out for her hand again but she pulled away, just staring at him with that same anger from before, and now that they were alone, she allowed some of the pain she felt to show through as well. How could he have done this to her after everything that went on last night? After he assured her that Daphne wasn't a factor? This was why she didn't share her feelings easily, because it always led to her getting hurt. Julian told her that he loved her and she hadn't said it back, and yet he was the one caught kissing someone else, not her.

"Kimberly, I'm sorry," he said, his voice cracking as he spoke.

Kimberly let her arms fall to her sides, dejection clear in her body language. His apologies couldn't change anything now. She had lost and Daphne had won. Julian hadn't wanted her enough and so he had gone running back to his ex-wife. He had known that Kimberly was just upstairs and so if he was really that horny, then he could have just come up there. Kimberly had all the same body parts as Daphne – even if they weren't so goddamn perky. But this? This meant that Julian hadn't gone to Daphne because of her body or because he was horny. He had gone to Daphne because wanted Daphne.

"You kissed her," was all Kimberly said.

"No, Kimberly. She kissed me."

Shrug. "And you let her."

Julian's eyes fell to the floor, "Yes."

Kimberly looked up at him in disbelief. She didn't understand how he could have possibly justified it to himself. How could he have made breaking Kimberly's heart – a woman he claimed he loved – seem justifiable?

Easy; if he didn't really love her.

"Why?" she asked.

Julian looked up at her, his face begging her to ask him something else. Anything else. He couldn't believe he was actually in this situation. How could he have been preaching to Kimberly about love and how much of it he had for her, and yet monumentally fuck up like this? How could he have let Daphne kiss him without pushing her away that very second? How could he have let it happen, and yet still look at Kimberly now and just know that he loved her? It didn't make any sense. Why couldn't he just be the man that he had always told himself he was? Why did he have to be this man instead? The one that cheats and breaks the hearts of the people he needs the most.

"I don't know, Kimberly. I just – I don't know. I didn't want her to kiss me, not at all, but I just – I felt so...so comfortable when she kissed me. I don't even know, it was just like a flashback to when we were together and I – I wasn't thinking. I wanted to tell her about you, Kimberly. I was going to, but it just took me longer than it should have and I don't have a good excuse for why except that she felt so known. It was nice to go back, even it it was only for a second."

Kimberly clenched her jaw, "That was much longer than a second."

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "I know," he said sadly.

"So is that what you want then?" she asked, "To go back? Are you not comfortable with me?" She surprised herself with how level-headed she was being. She had expected to be losing her mind by now, but she found that it was easier to suppress her feelings and deal with them later, rather than breaking down in front of him and dealing with them here. She had lots of tears to cry for him, but she wouldn't let him see even one. She was good at being cold when she needed to be, and she didn't want him to see just how much she cared.

"Come on, Kimberly, you know I am."

"Do I?" she asked. "Because why would you even go into a secluded hallway with someone if you weren't expecting anything to happen? Hmm?"

"She said she needed to talk to me, Kimberly! I was just being a friend to her..."

Taking a deep breath, Kimberly laughed cynically, nodding her head as she looked back up at Julian. "I'm not sure you know what a friend is, Julian. I didn't see any talking when I came by."

"We did talk, though. She was telling me about her life and about her job and how she felt content and yet lonely at the same time and I was just comforting her. Kimberly, my intentions were pure and then out of nowhere she just kissed me!"

"Oh, and so your big male hormones could muster up a measly 'no?' Or an 'I'm seeing someone?' Or even just like, you know, getting up and walking the fuck away?"

"I wasn't thinking, Kimberly!"

"No, Julian! You don't get to say that! Not after last night. Not after how you treated me for not knowing what I was thinking!" Kimberly could feel her resolve breaking and she knew that she wouldn't be able to keep this up much longer. "I mean, seriously could you be any more daft? What did you think the woman you left would want when she comes back to the house the two of you lived in, and pulls you aside to 'talk?'"

"Kimberly, I didn't leave Daphne! She left me!"

His words were piecing, and nothing else in the room seemed to make a sound. She could no longer hear the chatter of the guests from the next room, only the loud beating of her heart and the high-pitched ringing in her ears. Julian looked defeated as his shoulders drooped, it was as though this was something he didn't ever want her to find out about. Another secret.

Kimberly swallowed the lump in her throat. "Why did she leave you?"

"Because we didn't have kids," he said, in a voice so quiet that Kimberly wasn't even sure if it was real.

"You didn't want to have kids?" she asked, incredulous. "Why didn't you guys talk about that before you got married?"

Julian shook his head, chuckling cynically. "No, Kimberly, it's not that I don't want to have kids, because I do. I just – can't have kids...I'm sterile."

He looked at Kimberly with a guarded expression, as if he was scared she would start making fun of him or something. "What?" she asked, even though she had heard him clear as day. She just needed time to process.

He didn't repeat himself, he only looked at her as he waited for some sort of reaction.

"H – How did this happen?" she finally asked.

He shrugged. "Some people are just born this way, it's genetics. Daphne and I tried and tried, but she just wasn't getting pregnant and so we went to the doctor and they gave us the great news." The way he said the word 'great' made Kimberly want to cry, she couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for him.

"So you were still in love with her when she left you?"

"I was in love with her...she was in love with me..." He threw his hands up in exasperation, "None of it mattered because she wanted kids and I couldn't give her that!"

"Why didn't you guys adopt?" Kimberly asked, not sure why she was giving him advice that could possibly help him with Daphne.

Julian sighed, "I wanted to adopt, but she wanted kids that were related to her. She wanted little Daphne's, and truth be told...I wanted that too."

"Well...Do you still love her?" Kimberly asked in a small voice.

"Of course I love her. I'm always going to," he said, making Kimberly flinch. "It's not the same as it was before, but you can't just stop loving someone that you used to love so much. It doesn't work that way. Nothing went wrong between us except for that and we had no reason not to love each other."

Kimberly blinked back her tears, she couldn't cry in front of him. "Why would you invite her here if you knew you still had feelings for her then?" she demanded.

Julian's eyes grew wide and he looked at Kimberly like she had just told him the world was flat. "I don't have feelings for her, Kimberly! She's moving on and so am I. I love her, but I'm not in love with her, I'm in love with you damnit!"

She felt her temper rising and knew her face must have been as red as the carpet they were standing on. "Stop telling me you love me, Julian! I don't want to hear it anymore! I'm sick of your bullshit!"

"But it's true!"

"No. You've told me you loved me twice before," she said. "And those times I actually believed you, even if I didn't feel the same way. But now..." Kimberly looked up at the ceiling and tried to blink away her tears again, but this time they were adamant on coming out. "Now that I'm unconditionally and indisputably in love with you," she laughed, a sad, teary laugh as her voice began to choke up and the tears began to cloud her eyes. "I just – I don't believe you this time."

"Kimberly, I'm not lying to you. I love you." He pushed a strand of hair from her forehead and looked her in the eyes. "It's more true now than it ever has been."

"Then why did you kiss her?"

He reached out to Kimberly again, but she took a step back. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so so sorry. It was a mistake and it definitely didn't mean anything, but I'm not going to make excuses for myself. I know I messed up."

Kimberly didn't respond to him, she only kept her narrowed eyes on his face. They were full of rage and hurt, but she knew that she wasn't the kind of bomb that exploded, she was the kind the fizzled out into a disappointing mess. The anger would soon fizzle out, and then all she would be left with was her rejection. Julian had taken everything else from her.

"Kimberly, just give me another chance," he pleaded. "Please, I'm so fucking sorry."

"You're sorry, and yet I know that if I didn't catch you, you wouldn't have told me about it."

"Yeah, because it didn't mean anything. There's no need for me to worry you unnecessarily about things that don't matter, Kimberly. You're all that matters."

She laughed, a hard, condescending laugh that made Julian feel five feet shorter. "You know, Julian, I think that my relationship with you in a lot of ways has matured me beyond my years. More than it should have, but no matter how mature I get, I don't think I'll ever become less stubborn."

"What does that mean?"

"That means leave me the fuck alone and go enjoy your fucking party. You can tell me that you love me and that I matter to you, but actions speak much louder than words."

She turned to run out of the house and Julian reached over to grab her arm again, but this time she wasn't having it. "Don't touch me," she threatened. "I'll kick you in the fucking knee." And they both knew that she would. At this point she had no more boundaries with him, she was numb and so over it. And so Julian retracted his hand, holding it against his chest. Kimberly looked down at it, her lips quivering, as she realized how used and dirty and she felt. She knew that the tears were only seconds away, and so with that, she ran away from him, out the front door, and straight to Marc's house.

✎_ _ _ _ _

As soon as Marc had seen Kimberly's face, had invited her in and tried to do everything he possibly could to make her feel better. Kimberly appreciated his thoughtfulness, but she didn't want or need anything from him. Being away from Julian and with somebody else who she knew hadn't hurt her was enough.

He had asked her what was going on and if he could help her in any way, but she didn't want to talk about it with him. She felt like a fool and now every single person in Julian's house knew that she was one. She didn't need Marc to know it as well.

When she told him she didn't want to talk about what had happened, he didn't pressure her, he only stayed with her and comforted her in the ways that she would let him. And after what felt like an hour, she finally asked if she could go and take a shower upstairs.

She knew that everyone was still at Julian's house and so she couldn't go back there, but she also needed to get herself clean. Every part of her felt soiled – parts even water couldn't reach – and she knew it was because of Julian.

Marc had taken her upstairs and to his bedroom shower, claiming that it was best one in the house. He showed her how it worked and then told her that he would be downstairs when she came out. She thanked him and got in as soon as he left, turning the hot water on all the way. It burnt her skin, but she welcomed the pain, letting the water turn her skin red. Any pain was better than the pain she was feeling in her chest, and she just wanted to be distracted from it. She wanted to feel something else so that she didn't have to feel that pain.

She stood under the water, unmoving and unable to cry. She had been crying for the past hour and she knew she had more tears, but they weren't quite ready to come out yet. She was still in shock. Julian had just betrayed her in the most vile way he possibly could, and she still admitted to him that she loved him. Why did she have to tell him that? Now he knew that he had grips on her heart and she had no more cards to play.

She wasn't sure how long she stood under the water for, but she was snapped out of her daze when she heard a soft knock on the bathroom door. She didn't say anything, not having the energy to speak right then. Julian had taken everything from her. Her mind, her body, and her heart. He had taken it all and she just wanted it back.

"Kimberly, are you okay in there?" Marc asked, the thick door muffling his voice.

Kimberly didn't answer and so he slowly opened the door, his voice coming again – and more clearly this time. "Kimberly?"

Marc stepped into the bathroom, barely able to see anything through the misty air. He closed the door behind him and walked further into the room. He had been worried that something had happened to Kimberly since she had been up here for so long, but as he looked over at the shower, he could see the silhouette of her standing body through the foggy glass.

He walked over to the shower, wrapping his hand around the handle and slowly sliding open the glass. "Kimberly..." he said her name again, making sure she knew what he was doing so that she could close the glass had she wanted to. But Kimberly kept her hands in her hair and her eyes on her feet at the water pelted at her chest.

The door slid open and she came into Marc's full view. His heart jumped in his chest as he realized that he was actually looking at her naked body. Her soft skin, her long legs, her slim waist, her firm breasts...her erect nipples...The water hit her skin and rolled to the floor, drawing intricate patterns down her body as it went, and her hair was slicked back from the water, making her face look more naked than ever.

Marc had wanted Kimberly ever since that first day he had seen her down by the football field. He would be lying if he said that he hadn't spent his fair share of nights fantasizing about her long legs spread apart for him to come and fuck her senseless. Before long though, he figured that their relationship would probably always be platonic, and honestly, he was fine with that because Kimberly was a great friend. But as he looked down at her now, bare before him and not seeming to mind it in the least, he knew that he had to have her.

"Are you okay, Kimberly?" he asked.

She began to nod her head – the automatic response – but she stopped herself midway and shook it instead, staying silent.

"Well...would – would you mind if I stayed..." Marc began, his eyes on her face and unable to look away from it. "And watched you?"

Her eyes snapped up to his face but her expression didn't change. There was something in both of them; a lust...a hunger. He needed her and she needed anybody.

Kimberly shook her head slightly, taking her eyes off of him as she ran her hands through her wet hair and picked up the bar of soap from the wall. She could feel his eyes on her. His gaze was hotter than the water hitting her back and didn't know how she felt about it. She ran the soap down her body, washing herself slowly but thoroughly. She wanted to get Julian off of her body and out of her mind. She couldn't tell whether or not she was crying because if she was then that meant that her tears were flowing as freely as the water.

She wouldn't be surprised if that were the case, because whether good or bad, Julian always seemed to bring out the most in her. She wanted to be clean of him.

She felt filthy, like she didn't even want to be in her own skin. It felt grimy to touch herself with her own fingers knowing Julian had touched them too. She needed to get every trace of him off of her skin and out of her body.

She scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed herself with the soap but her tears just didn't seem to run out. She wasn't sniffling or heaving, but they still flowed. Then slowly, mid-scrub, the water turned off and the soap fell from her hands, hitting the hard ground and echoing throughout the room.

It was clear that Marc knew. He knew why she was here and what she was thinking about, and as the realization hit Kimberly, her tears dried up. She wouldn't let him see her cry over Julian. She wouldn't let anybody see her cry over Julian, because he sure as hell wasn't crying over her.

Kimberly felt Marc's hand on her back, turning her around to face him. He was looking up at her with curiosity, but he didn't say anything. He only held her hand in his and brought her out of the shower, grabbing the towel she had hung over the top of it and opening it up. He took his time as he dried her body, making sure he got every inch of her. She felt the towel brush her skin, and then his warm hands run over the same spot afterwards. Towel, hand, towel, hand, towel, hand.

Finally she reached down and grabbed his hand in her own, gripping it firmly and looking him in the eyes. They both knew what they wanted, and she was sick of tiptoeing around it. She wanted to have Marc – and in the worst way possible.

She needed to forget about Julian, even if it would only be temporary.

"Marc..." Her whisper was smooth and silky as she pulled him to his feet. "I want you to do something for me," she said.

He looked at her, the lust in his eyes and strain in his pants making it clear he was willing to do whatever she would ask of him.

She took his two hands in hers and looked him in the eye as she brought one of them to her breast and the other down to an asscheek, squeezing them both. She didn't care about her scars anymore, and she quickly didn't need to help with the squeezing because Marc's capable hands took over and he leaned forward to kiss her body.

"I want you to make me feel good," Kimberly said, her eyes closed as she felt his mouth on her neck, kissing her feverishly as both of his hands did their dirty work on their own. Marc kissed and sucked at her neck with such skill and she wished she could forget who he was. She just needed to be with someone who wasn't Julian. It didn't matter who, because Julian may have been her first, but after today, she would not let him be her only.

Marc's lips and tongue found Kimberly's, and as they kissed, she couldn't help but compare him to Julian even though she was trying to forget about him.

They were both good, but not the same.

Marc was generous with the tongue and quick to give it all to her. Julian, on the other hand, he liked to wait and tease. He would leave her begging for more every single time, but for what she wanted at the moment, Marc was perfect. She didn't have the energy or patience for any more games, she just wanted to feel good, and fast.

Marc broke their kiss to pull his shirt over his head, and Kimberly quickly went to work at his belt. Even though she knew he was staring right at her as she undid the buckles, she didn't dare look up at him.

The belt came off smoothly and Marc pulled down his pants, exposing his underwear – the only fabric left. Kimberly wasn't sure when she had become so confident and she wondered if maybe this was desperation rather than confidence, but she realized she didn't care. It was all to the same effect.

Marc reached down to take off his boxers, but before he could get them off, Kimberly reached inside the underwear and grabbed his cock. It was already hard and so she didn't really have to do anything to get it up, but she noticed quickly that his cock felt slightly thicker than Julian's even though it wasn't quite as long.

She took a breath, not giving herself time to think as she dropped slowly to her knees. Before she was down though, Marc stopped her, holding her up by her arms. She looked him in the eyes and he matched her gaze, "Kimberly, let me do this for you," he said to her. "You said you wanted me to make you feel good. Trust me, I can."