It was just another Wednesday, back with Bonnie. Hunter was not sure if Rachel would show up. She was already twenty minutes late. Speaking for himself, he had only rolled out of bed for his daughter's sake. She deserved parents who communicated clearly and not with anger and bitterness. Hailey deserved much more than this. She couldn't just be another kid with separated parents. What made Hunter even more sick was the thought of Rachel bringing men home, going on dates and so on. The thought of Rachel introducing new men in his daughters life did not sit well with him. What would happen if Rachel changed a boyfriend every single month or season? Hailey would be forced to adjust to all types of men. The good, bad and pedophiles. Hunter's mind derailed as he went down a reddit rabbit hole each night. Reading confessions of people who grew up in a similar situation, innocent kids who were sexually assaulted by their uncles, step parents and so on. It angered him, there were so many vile people in the world and children would never be safe from these vultures that are so deranged as to seek pleasures from children. He was aware with the separation it only meant, he would not always be there to protect his little girl and that's the only thing he wanted to do. The thought of anyone abusing her because he is an absent father or because he couldn't be there ruined him internally.

He had not seen Rachel in days, ever since she left. They had not spoken either; not on the phone or in person. He only hoped she had cooled down and was ready to fix thing and have a civil conversation. After a day she always came around but now, it was very odd because she had not even initiated a conversation for going forward. A lot was going on for him, his co-workers seemed to be cooking up a storm in terms of his reputation. Overall work was just uncomfortable, the campus was huge, the chances of seeing Karishma was unlikely but she was after all in one of his classes and it proved to be difficult. Having had so much history with a person then having to pretend none of it happened or ever existed. For goodness sake they almost had a child together and— for them to pass each other like strangers was awfully agonizing. He knew her body so well and could puzzle it even in the dark, he found comfort in her touch and for him to have to apologize each time they accidentally nudge or touch or have physical contact proved to be difficult.

"I will be sure to speak to her another time, rather we not put this session to waste Mr Clifford." Bonnie interrupted his thoughts. "We can talk about you today?"

"Uh...that's alright, I suppose!" Hunter added sitting up straight. He watched as the middle aged woman wrote down some notes before looking back at him. At this point and time, he felt as if he was an experiment; why did she have to write anything down? Wasn't this a private session? He was hesitant, wanting to leave so badly but he was not looking forward to home, work or anything.

"How are you feeling overall?" Bonnie asked. Hunter immediately heaved a loud sigh. A sardonic laugh followed. She only stared at the young man with concern.

"Good." He muttered.

"Without honesty, we won't get anywhere Mr Clifford."

"...I feel like shit..." He sighed laying back on the grey couch. "Nothing is going my way. I might lose my job, I feel very anxious about everything. It's a lot, but I know being here right now is what's right."

"Right for who? you or your marriage?"

Thinking for a second, he murmured the words lowly. "...for my marriage..."

She nodded, then quickly turned to write down on her note book with one leg crossed over the other and her spectacle laid lowly on the bridge of her nose... Hunter felt as if he was being scrutinized.

"If you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life?"

Silence followed.

Hunter huffed, a lot of his thoughts ran across his mind. It was a simple question but he found it difficult to set in motion what the answer would be.

"Be honest with yourself, Mr Clifford and take your time."

Hunter opened his mouth to speak but nothing came. He had so much to say but he was conflicted. It was the impulse decision between right and wrong, he was afraid he would be making the wrong decision.

"How would you like to improve your life to be more satisfied and happy? If we can find ways to make the problem better, perhaps we can find ways to greatly reduce or even eliminate the problem." Bonnie added, taking off her spectacles... she turned to the table on her left side. Gently cleaning her glasses before putting them back on and turning to him. The man seemed deep in thought, he said heavily burdened with heed.

"If you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life?" She repeated. "Or rather what would you change from your past actions to eliminate the problem before it has escalated?"

"I have two." He said under his breath. "Actually three!"

"Ofcourse, let's hear them all? This is a safe place. This is your session, I will not tell your wife anything that you yourself you're not ready to tell her."

"The first thing, I'd make from my past is... not meet Karishma..."

"That is the other woman, yes?"

Hunter nodded, his eyes rooted in the carpet floor.

"Not cross paths with her. I tried my best to stay away. I tried my best to be loyal to my marriage. I tried... to stay away from her. I'd rather not have crossed paths with her at all or know if her existence. That would have made everything better because then I wouldn't have loved more than I've ever loved my wife. I wouldn't have felt all that she makes me feel. It's hard to simply forget how much she meant to me."

"I see..."

"The second is I wish I had never met Rachel. I wish I had waited for the right one. Waited to explore and see what's more to life than rush into marriage immediately after college. I'd have had more patience, perhaps I'd have met Karishma at the right timing."

"Fair enough." Bonnie spoke lowly.

"The third, I'd have wanted us to keep our baby. I don't mind the chaos it would have caused but having our child here would have made everything even more worth it. That was our child, he/she deserved more than a life cut short because of circumstances. I wanted our child..." he mumbled the last part under his breath. His eyes stung with emotion.

"Did you ever let her in on these thoughts?"

Hunter chuckled. "What could I say with all the feminism quotes 'Her body, her choice' or something along those lines. I did not want to seem like a hypocrite. I do support women and I do feel men have no right to make decisions regarding a woman's body." He sighed. "I had to support and respect her decision. I had nothing to offer her, I wasn't willing to leave my marriage. She came here to get education not be a mother. I understood it was a lot harder for her."

"How awful? I hope she is getting help?"

"Nothing! I suggested therapy but she was quick to shut me up. She just bottles up everything and acts as if everything is just fine. That's one thing I love and hate about her, her ability to keep to herself and not tell a soul. It's unhealthy but she makes it seem easy."

"She definitely should consider seeing someone."

"She said we should never speak of it again. I wouldn't know how to bring it up. We aren't exactly on speaking terms."

"I see..." Bonnie mumbled biting down a few. "You seem to know her more than most men would their mistress. I have dealt with a lot of men and they never seem to know enough about the other woman except where she likes to eat and what type of flowers she likes... the basics."

Hunter smiled lightly. "Well, what can I say? She stole good three years of my life."

"I think you stole three years of her life. She could have done so much and met so many people that would have been honest and more committed but she was there waiting for you to finally hang it up."

"Yes, precisely." He felt awful.

"Rachel wants a divorce." Bonnie finally told him.

"What?"

"That is the message she sent when I asked about the appointment. She has had time to think everything through and she thinks it's best you separate."

Hunter was stunned, he stood up and paced around trying to process his biggest fear. Deep down he knew he wasn't just doing this for his daughter. He felt something for Rachel. It might have been mild but he felt it. It hurt to think that, something he had been protecting for the past three years was simply going to simply fall apart. If it was possible to feel relief and grief at the same time then that's what he felt.

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