There was once a time in his life where he was constantly going back and forth between two homes. Being the last born of four children, he had to be the one to bare a childhood with divorce settlements. Hunter could perfectly remember the day, his father decided he had heard enough of his wife and their never ending bitter exchanges. Being the proud man he is, Hunter's father started off by not returning home for a week then eventually came to pack up his belongings. He explained to fifteen year old Hunter that things were about to change. Dave had gone off to college at eighteen. His older sister Natalie was in her third year of college at twenty . Annalise had recently graduated at twenty-four and moved out of state that year.

Hunter being the only child left at home, they sat him down and asked him where or rather who would he prefer to stay with before they went to court. He was caught in between, he did not want to disappoint either of them. This was a decision he never thought, he'd have to make. The final decision was, he'd reside with his mother and have the weekends with his father. It was never easy, it was painfully excruciating. Hunter could only reminisce the times when his father would drop him off at the house they all once called home. His father loathed his old life so much, he preferred not getting out of the car. His mother would open the front door and give her ex-husband a light wave. Gritting his teeth, he'd wave from the drivers seat of his latest Mercedes. Hunter thought his father was trying to regain his lost youth by buying flashy cars and bachelor condos.

Hunter's parents had married early, as early as twenty. Pregnant with Annalise, it being the olden days, there was no waiting. They married early. It seemed his parents marital problems stemmed from having been sick and tired of each other. They needed a break, they needed time to miss each other and that's exactly what happened. Hunter's father had his fun for nearly six years before deciding he wanted his wife back. Before realizing his happiness lied with the mother of his four children. He had felt as though he was starved off freedom and independence but after a while of getting cold dinners, eating alone, finding awkward to visit his kids, coming home to no one— it got depressing. It was not the life he wanted, not the life he imagined he'd have. Hunter's mother took him back.

Hunter did not want to make that mistake of leaving someone he adored so much for temporary fun. Someone whom he had decided, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with for an iffy moment of fun and exhilaration.

"Dad?"

"Hunter?" His father replied, sensing concern from his son's voice. It was nearly sun set, after a long afternoon of golf. Hunter held their golf club as they headed for the golf cart.

"What made you leave mom... that time?"

There was silence. Old and frail, having entered his early sixties. Gray hairs hidden under his cap, thankful he had not gone bald yet. Good genes he presumed. Turning to Hunter, his forest green eyes resembled so much of Nolyn; his wife. His brown hair, much like his own. Hunter has always been a decent child, never caused too much trouble. Excelled well in school, had big goals and archived them. He was doing well for himself, Ernest Clifford was proud of his son but it was clear something was bothering him. Holding the golf bag, Hunter's father set it down near the cart. Hunter laid the golf club right beside the wheels. Overlooking the distance they had surpassed amidst having their fun.

"Well..." Ernest muttered. "We have never talked about that huh?"

"...not really..." Hunter muttered.

"I don't know either... I'm ashamed, I even made such an action to hurt your mother. Perhaps we got tired of each other. I got tired, I can't speak for your mother; considering I made the first move. We had not had any time to ourselves for years and years with trying to juggle four kids and making sure we keep afloat as a family. We became roommates more than anything. We lost the excitement, the butterflies and all those things we feel during the honeymoon phase. Everything became dull."

Hunter removed his cap, running his hand through his hair. He gave his father a subtle smile of somewhat I understanding.

"What made you come back?"

Ernest laughed gracefully, the wrinkles on his face being even more visible. "I missed her, I missed her so much. Sometimes you think you want freedom when what you really need is a break. Freedom sounds amazing, but after a while it gets lonely. It gets old. It's wonderful, being a single man, taking anyone you want to bed and not caring about anyone else but yourself but you know what's more amazing?"

"Marriage?" Hunter answered.

Ernest Clifford shook his head, putting a hand on his son's shoulder. He mumbled... "Commitment! Being committed to someone who wants you just as much. Making it work regardless of differences. Commitment is more life fulfilling than freedom. Sometimes too much freedom is bad for you."

"Right..." Hunter sighed unconvinced. He wanted to call Karishma, he missed her. He also wanted to please his life and give their marriage his all.

"Well, I hope that answers your questions. Next time, ask your mother. She is after all the wisest with these advise things."

Hunter laughed out loud. "No, dad. You're just as good. Thanks."

"Well then, let's go grab a beer before heading home. Dave missed out today."

Shaking his head, Hunter decided to keep it to himself. Dave had no interest in golf, he took any opportunity to not attend.

—

Upon heading home. Hunter made an abrupt U-turn, he had made up his mind. He needed to see her, they couldn't continue going on like this. He had tried so hard to stay away, to keep himself from typing away and taking advantage of his role as a professor and using an email as a form of communication. He had kept himself still, from not approaching her. He had no idea what he would say to her but all he wanted was be close and simply talk to her. Imagining a life where they were strangers was painful, even worse when she avoided him like a plague. Having read her piece on 'heartbreak and moving on' he knew well enough that she was hurting, she was trying to keep strong and away from him. If only he could keep to his side of the bargain.

He thought about it a lot. The child— they almost had. He told her, he would support any of her decisions and it being the reasonable choice; she chose to remove it. Hunter had imagined her carrying his child and... nothing— it was not his decision to make. She was here to study, to get her English degree not get pregnant by her professor and he kept in the shadows. There was no way it would have worked, there was no way a child could have lived in such a relationship or whatever it was they had.

It was nearing seven pm and almost dark. He could spot her from a mile away, he knew her routine well enough. He was parked outside the gym for about twenty minutes before she came out... talking to a another guy, an African American who looked as though he spent his time at the gym constantly from the looks of his physique. Hunter felt jealous. Hunter felt—

She was smiling, they hugged before he headed towards his own car. He seemed to have been insisting on giving her a ride but she showed him her headphones. Hunter immediately knew; she preferred to walk and listen to Clairo or Troye Sivan. God— he knew so much about her to the point he didn't have to read her lips. Deciding he needed to man up and approach her after her friend's car had left the parking. He did. Quickly marching out of his car in his golf outfit; she was still selecting her playlist. She wanted to run her way back to her dorm most probably. He remembered always warning her that it wasn't safe but she insisted she was South African if anyone knew fear, it was most probably her and this was nothing. He missed these little remarks, she made and so much more.

Startled, when he approached her. She almost stopped breathing when she felt his presence. His cologne was— very obvious. Her body associated it with him and only him. It had stayed the same and unchanging for the years she had known him. English Blazer, Karishma has grown to hate that brand of cologne. A whiff of it from a stranger had her brain playing flashbacks and rewinds.

"...hi..." He cleared his throat.

It was awkward.

"...hey..." she mumbled not knowing what to say. She had assumed, she was doing enough to keep away from him and the distance that was needed. He stared down at her expecting anything, anger... rage... fury from her but nothing. She simply put her lips in a straight line, her dark skin glistened from the street light above them. She had always told him that her complexion being dark had always been one of her biggest insecurity. She was trying her best to love it regardless of the colorist society that said otherwise. He loved it. He loved her dark skin. There wasn't too many people out around them.

"I didn't know you returned to the gym..." she awkwardly added when there was silence.

"...I came to see you..." Hunter said. He wished he could be closer, he wished he could kiss her there a huge distance between them but it was clear enough. She wanted to set boundaries, he had to obey. They were in public, he couldn't act unjust. "It's been nearly two months. You blocked me... what did I do wrong?"

Karishma laughed, putting a strand of her hair behind her ear. "What did you do wrong?"

"Yes, what did I do wrong?" Hunter asked.

"Please just leave..." She tried to walk away but he keep standing in her way.

"We were doing fine, then you blocked me and never spoke to me again or said a word to me or—"

"We were not fine. We were never fine. You lied to me. You said you were in the process of a divorce, you said you were done but you were attending marriage counseling with her. We were not fine Hunter. We were never fine. I told your wife, I wanted nothing to do with the both of you. This was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened for this long."

Hunter has no response in that moment. He could see the hurt in her eyes, she was trying so hard to keep it together. He did not know what he was doing here either. Suppose seeing her and being with her was a guilty pleasure.

"I hope you received your ring..."

"I did." He muttered.

"Stay well." She tried to walk away.

"Kari— wait—" He said desperation shriveled from his voice. "I love you. I do."

"Please Hunter please just stop. We're in public...! Let go of my hand."

"I think about you all the time and it's hard. This isn't any easier for me."

"I know... but I hope your marriage counselor helps you both sort everything out... for your daughter."

"I don't know what to do, i need time okay? I need time, I don't—"

"I need time too, away from you. You will be fine, frankly I'm tired of your sob stories. I'm young and I need to put myself out there. I have so much to live for and fighting for a married man shouldn't have been something... uhm..." Deciding speaking further wasn't worth it, Hunter never listened. She managed to get her hand out of his grip and walked away. Hunter stood there for a while unmoving, he didn't understand what was happening. He didn't understand what his life had led to but he knew he wasn't happy with the situation.

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