Supper was quiet. After putting their daughter to bed, Hunter felt he had nothing to say to his wife. Not after she had decided to publicize their entire marriage out to public. He was tired, more so drained. Any conversation they had ended up being an argument. They were learning to communicate properly without yelling in each other's faces from frustration. Getting ready for bed, on his side, he heard Rachel let out a sigh.

"I'm surprised you kept your word and decided to sleep home today."

"Like I said, I'm trying. We're trying to give this another shot." Hunter replied somberly.

"Right..." Rachel mumbled. "How's your mistress?"

"I'd rather not talk about her please, how do we move past this if we keep going back and forth?"

"It was only a question, what was so special about her? I'm really curious Hunter, what was so special about her? You really allowed a student to play with our marriage."

What was so special about her?

— even Hunter could not answer that question either.

"Thank goodness, you did not make her pregnant. Do you understand how much harder it would have been? She would have used that against you. Used the baby as leverage. For goodness sake were you even thinking about your job and how far you've worked to be here, it could all just disappear because of such a small mistake. Perhaps she was trying to get a green card—"

Hunter knew, Karishma did not want anything from him. Nothing besides, him being bold enough to leave his marriage for her. Nothing but him being open to starting over with her. Something he was not ready to do. He had created a life with Rachel and as amazing as it sounded to start over with Karishma... it just wasn't— going to work. What if Karishma turned out to be a fling? What if he adored her because he couldn't fully have her? What if she was only exciting because of the positions they were both in (student and professor)? What if he was thrilled by them sneaking around? What would happen if he realized that's the only thrill that drove him towards her. What if that's all it turned out to be? What if the fire died out as soon as they made it official? What if it was all in the chase? Having what you can't have.

"Good night Rachel."

"You can not even speak of her without being upset huh?" His wife pushed.

"Look..." he murmured softly, slight frustrated. "Karishma and I are over. I don't see why we need to keep discussing her. I'm here with you, I'm happy being here. Suppose that's what you want to hear?"

"No! Why did you even pursue her in the first place? If you were so happy with our marriage, why did you go looking for her?"

He couldn't answer.

Every question felt like a burden.

Blinking, looking everywhere except her direction. "All that matters is... uhm that it's over. It's all in the past."

"I hope so, Hunter. I hope so because you've really hurt me. There's only so much I can take from this."

"I know and I'm sorry."

Rachel sniffled a few tears away. "You always say that Hunter. You always say you're sorry then you go back to her. I-i get it, she is young and beautiful. I get that maybe I'm not as exciting as I used to be. I get it that Karishma is different. You being a white man who has never dated outside his race. That must have really excited you. My point is you're always sorry, you've been sorry for the past three years now. You were sorry but then you took her on a Bahamas trip. You were sorry then you bought her an apartment. You were really sorry then you took her to Disney land for the weekend. You're always always sorry and frankly your apologies mean nothing at this point. You say one thing then go and do the next."

She was right. He couldn't say any more empty words, he needed to prove it with his actions. She had every reason not to trust him. Her concerns were valid. Hunter loathed the man he had become.

—

She didn't have many friends, just a lot of acquaintances. No one knew about her endeavors with Hunter. She preferred to keep to herself always. Even if she needed someone to speak to. She felt ashamed, where would she even begin? Having an affair with a married man and probing him to end things with his wife. Exchanging horrible words with his wife, fighting for a man who did not even want her. Rachel was always clear and precise that Hunter would never leave something that they had built and promised each other on the alter. He would never destroy his daughter's home and besides anything that was one person he loved wholeheartedly.

She put her head down and let her hair curtain her entire face. Pretending to jolt down notes. She was not in any way trying to converse with him unless required. Every time she raised her head up, their eyes met. It made him forget what he was explaining in the first place. He always found a way to make a joke about it and have the whole class laughing. She didn't laugh, she was too hurt to laugh. Karishma knew this was what was best for the both of them. Granted, moving on would mean they can both be happy.

A good friend she had made over the years, Adhira adored Mr. Clifford. She probed him to be the most and most understanding. Both having an Indian background made it easy to relate to each other. They attended class together, studied together, went out here and there. They were not best friends but they were good friends. Adhira was very open about her relationships, sex life and so on. Karishma wasn't, she kept a lot of things to herself. To the point where it felt like a burden. She was aware people would see her differently if she ever revealed her dark past.

"I need to ask Professor Clifford some questions. He is helping me with getting an internship, do you mind waiting..." Adhira told her quickly after the lecture had ended.

"No problem, I will wait outside."

"You could just wait beside me.." Adhira laughed. "It will only be a minute or two."

"...uh..."

"You told me this was your last class for the day so what's the rush?" Adhira questioned.

"Alright, I will wait." She heaved a sigh. She could feel his eyes on her, she was bothered because it seemed every memory they had together seemed to play continuously on repeat in her mind. She did not understand why she couldn't get herself to hate him. Her mind was pushing for something she needed to end. She needed these feelings to go away. Fade away into none existence. Fade so she could look him in the eyes without flinching, hold a conversation without wanting to break into tears.

She was distracted, standing behind Adhira. She pretended to be on her phone, scrolling down Twitter, scrolling down Instagram... doing anything that would make her seem busy.

"The last thing you need to know about getting an internship is that you shouldn't give up if you don't get the first one. Just like finding a job, it can take time. And if you really want to increase your chances of getting an internship, you'll want to apply to several. But, if you're diligent, you'll likely land an internship sooner rather than later."

"Thank you Professor Clifford, I will try." Adhira replied with enthusiasm.

Clearing his throat. He turned to Karishma, she wasn't listening. Until Adhira grabbed her phone. "Hey! Professor Clifford asked you a question Kari?!"

"Uh what?" She panicked, trying not to look at him. They had not spoken since she blocked him on all platforms.

"I was only saying how's your internship process going?" Hunter repeated. He hadn't heard her voice in so long. It hurt slightly hearing it from afar. A voice he had become accustomed to. On the phone calls they shared for hours, the laughter they shared in between moments, the moans she let out when intimate with him. The small moments he valued, like the mole right above her lips, her doll eyes so innocent they made him wither wanting to please her and give into any of her demands.

"It's going alright." She replied.

"That's great." He replied cooly.

"Yeah Kari, already found an internship at a publishing house. By the time she returns home, she will have jobs lined up." Adhira added, innocently not knowing the tense scene she had just caused.

"Oh wow..." Hunter replied not being able to hold his disappointment in. "You will be going home?"

"Y-yes... uhm this was a great experience but I'd rather not be here."

"Not for me though, I won't be returning to Hyderabad anytime soon." Adhira chuckled. "I'm here to stay." Karishma and Hunter laughed along.

"Well I wish you both well in your endeavors." He said seemingly trying not to display the hurt that he felt. "When does your student visa expire..?" He added. It seemed Hunter was thankful he could milk out a conversation through Adhira.

"I'm not sure sir." Karishma replied lowly, she knew. She just did not want to tell him. She blamed her friend for dragging her here in such a uncomfortable position but then again, she couldn't blame her. Adhira knew nothing about this.

"I just remembered, that thing that I need to do... uhm Adhira... I will call you when I'm done."

"Oh, uhm alright." Adhira was confused. With that Karishma rushed out. She could feel the corner of her eyes, threatening to sting. This was certainly not the time. Still on campus, she did not want to break down here of all places. She managed to lock herself in one of the public bathroom. Trying to catch her breath. She told herself, just a little while longer. She could do this, she wanted to erase any memory they ever had together. She wanted to forget he existed. It hurt so much having to face him, proudly wearing his ring as if to show her that he was happy and all they had was a little fun and now it was over. He was so unaffected, this was all on her. This was her mistake and for that she'd be the only person affected.

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