Author's Note: Video on top is Red Hot Chilli Peppers "The Zephyr Song"! Play it!

39 - Cello

We sit on the red chairs around the black glass oval table facing the Core. I don't know the names of most of the Core members yet, but they're not as intimidating and unfamiliar as before. The Black Jewels are in high spirits, they are, all thirteen of them, sparkling like Black suns, brimming with energy.

They beam at Syianne, but she merely looks on at them in silence. In her eyes, they're her opponents.

She wasn't supposed to come; the Core had summoned only me. She had been told to take the day off and rest. But she slept from the moment she returned home yesterday morning till almost an hour ago. Syianne insisted that whatever the Core had to tell me, she would be there as well.

I don't know what she's playing at, but at least she's playing at something. That's more than I'm doing.

Her presence is accepted without comment. Our coming and going together has become the natural order of things.

"We are assembled here to discuss the matter of Cello Riles' encounter with the Scribbles yesterday morning at approximately 9:35 a.m." Sagastus begins. I knew that it would be something along those lines. I don't wait for him to continue, I don't wait to be asked a question. I raise my hand.

"There's nothing to discuss, I just walked around in the tunnels until suddenly I got spat out when there was the red alert. The Scribbles like Alprine-holders," I shrug. My innocent façade isn't convincing but that's my story and I'm going to stick with it.

Sagastus, like last time, looks unimpressed by my interruption. He looks calmly and coldly up at me, "There was a disturbance in transmissions from your chip for five minutes in the time you were inside the Scribbles."

Once again I shrug my shoulders at his response, "A glitch." My gaze passes from Sagastus, to the middle-aged woman with the green Jewel who likes to run her mouth about Undefined, to that Black Jewel with the bleached hair, then to Leolan, and to Risa and finally, I lock my gaze with Xeprim.

I'm not fooling anyone, but the fact that I've made them uncertain has given me a powerful hold. I rise to my feet, "Unless you want to explain to me what you think happened or what the Scribbles even is, then there's nothing more to discuss."

"Mr. Riles, you are not going to walk out of here without consequence."

"Don't threaten me for having nothing to report."

"You cannot command me. I am your superior."

"Superior?" I smirk, "I think right now your inferiority complex is outweighing everyone else's."

"Mr. Riles," Sagastus says, his voice an unusual combination of chilliness and fury, "you will regret – "

"If you do anything to hurt Cello," Syianne is on her feet, her voice soft but somehow rings clear enough to cut Sagastus off, "I'll see it as a personal offence."

I look at her, surprised, and then I scan the room. Dark gazes are being turned on Sagastus who appears to be caving in on himself. He gapes at her for a long moment before firmly closing his mouth. She understands the situation better than I do. Syianne has come here because she knew exactly what she wanted and what she was going to achieve.

Syianne's gift is rare and valuable. With a swift touch she had rid the Black Jewels of a problem that had been plaguing them for twenty years, but it was naïve of me to think that would be where it stops. This was only a test to see the extent of her power. She is their brand new toy, but the fun can only be had as long as she agrees, and she is now making it clear that that will happen only if she is kept happy.

In one short day, Syianne Locke had become the most powerful Jewel in the Zephyr.

Murmurs pass between the Blacks, a silver-haired woman with a long thick braid looks at me and smiles, "Of course nothing will be done to him, Miss Locke," she says in a warm voice.

"No slugging, no trickery and no ridding me of my free will, please." I announce with open defiance. If Syianne is being the firm adult, I am given a free hand to behave as childish as I want.

"If there is nothing more you can tell us about that incident," continues the woman, "you are free to go."

There's lots more I could tell them and so much more I want to say. I want to shout in their faces, about Fellin, about Seran and Markreet, about Syianne being a person, not a tool. I want to yell at them about how I hate this dirty mess. But I don't know how to fight a war in which the enemy is faceless, nameless, as obscure as smoke.

Syianne wraps her small fingers over mine and quietly leads me away.

*

Syianne and I take turns to sit with Kaitha in the Portal hall watching the radar. It has been a week since our first Plunge, we have returned to eat ordinary food, but it's all meaningless now that Fellin has been taken.

His heart beats slowly now, with no food or water, he's growing weaker. We don't know what layer he reached. On the second day, after layer 999,999, the layer indicator simply indicated N/A. We sit with Kaitha and helplessly watch Fellin die. At first, Kaitha told us stories about what Fellin was like when they had been young, before financial troubles had forced Fellin's family to move to the southwest. But then she ran out of stories, and now all she does is stare bleakly ahead, waiting. She refuses to leave, day and night; she says that until Fellin is gone, someone has to watch over him. If it weren't for Kaitha, I would have been inclined to behave the same way. I'm not religious or superstitious, I'm sentimental. I'd want to do what Kaitha is doing for Fellin.

This time, it's the three of us together. Gardi's heart had already stopped so we sit and watch the lone little green dot, a tiny green light turning on and off with every heartbeat.

And suddenly it turns off and doesn't turn back on. I stare, search the radar, waiting for it to come back, but it's gone. The dot still burns inside my eyes, but I can no longer find it in reality.

I look at Kaitha; she gets up from the chair she has occupied for the past week. She doesn't say a word and starts walking.

"Where are you going?" Syianne cries after her.

She stops, turns and they stare at each other for a moment, "I'm going to take a  long hot shower and get some sleep," she says, "and then I'm going back to do my job. There are new Jewels who need to take the Tour." She leaves, and what she doesn't say, but I know she feels, is that right now, the only thing that could save her is boring, solid, Zephyr work.

That's something I've come to understand in the last two weeks, the Zephyr is a place that defies logic, that's why the society here strives to be as organized as possible. The world we Jewels live in is chaos, and in that chaos, service is the only anchor.

I don't know if I can easily accept this. I also get up without a word and exit through the sliding doors of the main dome. It's raining hard outside, but I don't mind getting soaked. I walk around the dome to its other side, and there, in solitude, it finally hits me.

Just like that, Fellin Quaine died. Suddenly, unexpectedly, without any warning, he had been taken from me before I had time to get to know him, and death is once again so unimpressive, a little light vanishing from sight.

I tried several times to imagine Fellin's long and terrible death. But this time, all I can see is how he kept smiling at me whenever I talked to him. It's as if the thing he knew best is how to smile.

"Damn it. God Damn it." I scream, feeling as if my heart is shrinking with anguish, and I punch the outer wall of the main dome. My eyes fill with tears of pain as I scrape the gentle skin of my knuckles. My tears stream freely and mingle with the drops of rain, and an angry sob pushes its way out from my chest. I look at the red of my blood and press my face to the wall, hammering at it half-heartedly. I never wanted to hit something so badly.

"Are you trying to break it?"

I turn to face Syianne, wiping away my tears with my sleeve, "yeah," I mumble.

She's holding a large black umbrella; she steps forward and raises it so that it protects me from the rain as well. "If you break it, everyone inside will get wet," she smiles sadly at me and offers me her hand. "Let's go home, Cello. Let's go rest. We have training tomorrow."

Syianne too is focusing on Zephyr work to keep herself looking forward instead of looking back. She wants to be an official team member, and she needs my help to achieve her goal. In the past week, we have begun the team training course with Rosalisa.

Things have been strange between Rosalisa and me, not only because she has become my teacher, but because she is in high spirits while I am in the lowest of lows. The power that Syianne has released for the blacks has changed the atmosphere in the Zephyr. The shadows are longer and darker where a Black Jewel passes, they're all brimming with Black magic, the air sizzles with it. I hadn't realized before that the Blacks were diminishing, and it was through Syianne's unique ability that their power is now abundant and easily accessible.

Since I'm the taller one, I hold the umbrella and Syianne clings to my arm. For the past week, Syianne had been calm and still, almost as if she's at peace. But on closer inspection I can detect the hatred that she's hiding, the raw anger that is biting away at her heart. She obviously despises the Blacks for using her, but I think she might also hate herself for allowing them to use her. She is surrounded by an endless halo of love wherever she goes in the Zephyr, but it seems to make her scorn even greater. She is becoming more reserved than ever.

We walk out through the main gates and approach the Call-board. Artus steps into our path. He doesn't have an umbrella, and he's soaking wet, his coat and pants are drenched and his blond hair is clinging to his forehead.

I nod at him; he's not an unexpected guest. I called him because she wouldn't. Because I feel like I'm being followed by death, I want to do right whenever I can from now on. I remember I had the same notion when Lane died, but I forgot about it as the months moved on and circumstances won over spirit. I may forget about it again. But I called Artus and told him when he would find her outside the Zephyr.

"I need to talk to you," he says, staring intensely at Syianne.

"I'll go ahead," I say. I make to give her the umbrella, but she tightens her grip on my arm.

"No, Cello stays," she glares at Artus. "You can say whatever you want to in front of him."

I look down at the pavement, scratching the side of my nose. Awkward.

"I'm fine with him staying," Artus says, "but why are you so mad at me? Why won't you at least call me?"

"I'm not mad, I'm defensive. I won't call you and I don't want to speak with you. What can I do to make you understand? Having me in your life will only ever be a burden, nothing else."

"Syianne," he reaches out for her, I stiffen and she dodges behind me, pulling the umbrella down so that it serves a barrier between him and us.

"Don't touch me, don't touch me!" she cries, still hiding behind me, "you can't. I've gone in Artus. I've been inside the Zephyr. It's over. It's really over. If you touch me, you'll die. You have to go on with your life and forget about me. Just play football and live your dream."

His hand hovers in the air for a moment before floating down and resting at his side. His expression makes me uncomfortable, all his emotions right there on his face. His pain is extreme, he's sad, he's heartbroken and at the same time, he's still loving her.

And he's speechless. She raises the umbrella and pulls me along down the street, towards the next call board in the street corner. I turn my head to look at the lone figure standing frozen in the rain.

I pity him; I know what it's like to love a merciless girl.

*

"You know, it's okay if you cry."

She shakes her head, her hair is dripping wet. We sit shoulder to shoulder in the rail-car, "I can't. No matter how much I want to, it just doesn't work."

I look out the window, I don't want her to know that I'm the one who called Artus. "It doesn't look like he'll give up without a fight, he's a stubborn bastard, your boyfriend."

"I'm stubborn too. More than he is."

I blow hot air at my wet and cold fingers, "Are you sure you want to do things that way?"

"I'm finally sure about the way I want to do things. It's because I hesitated that it got this bad."

"I don't think it's because you hesitated," I'm stepping out of line here, but with Syianne, I don't care. We fought enough times for me to be confident that we can make up afterwards. "I think you're afraid of believing in love."

She glares at me but says nothing. Maybe it's my naive wish to stay true to myself, maybe I shouldn't have said that. We're both too sad and too tired to argue with each other, the drive goes on in silence.

Our silence continues after we reach the team mansion. I eat a dinner which I don't even taste, I take a warm shower which I can't even feel. Finally, without speaking to anyone, I lie in my bed and try to sleep with Risa's warm furry body curled up on the pillow near my head. My mood is dry, dark and heavy, I think I can't sleep, but I do so without noticing.

*

I wake up to a scratching sound. It's like mice scratching the far wall of the room only louder. I sit up. In the bed next to me, Hans is sleeping deeply, the scratching doesn't bother him. I get out of bed and slowly walk towards the far wall of the room, careful not to bump into anything in the darkness.

I stop short when I realise that there's someone there in the room. "Who's that?" I whisper, is it Syianne? The person has a small build, but as I approach, I notice that they're taller than Syianne, they're writing something on the wall, and they're wearing a Lightsilver suit.

I rush froward, "Fellin?" I cry and reach out.

He turns. His skin is so pale it seems blue, his cheeks are sunken, and his eyes and Jewel are the blackness of an eternal void.

"Duryiend, save us." says the voice of a thousand people.

I start screaming.

*

Hans shakes me awake, I grab him by both his shoulders, my breath shallow and my face streaming with sweat and tears. I'm confused by the vividness of the dream, my eyes dart to the far wall, vacant and empty from writing. Hans says nothing, he's not a big talker, he just squeezes my arm and then goes back to his own bed.

My heart continues hammering painfully against my chest and I can hear my blood rushing in my ears. My throat is so dry that it hurts to swallow. I get out of bed and go downstairs into the kitchen. The light is on, Syianne is sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of orange juice.

"Can't sleep?" I ask her hoarsely.

She shakes her head, "Was that scream just now...?" her voice trails away.

I nod at her question pouring myself water. Many unsaid words pass between us as our eyes meet. I gulp down the water, feeling as if whatever is clogging my throat can never be washed away.

She looks down at her hands, I sit next to her. Neither of us can talk about this emptiness we're feeling. Without asking for permission, I lay my head on her shoulder. I need this, her warmth, her closeness. She's real, and alive. I inhale her smell and presence. She moves slightly, and I think she's about to push me away, but she doesn't. She touches my cheek with her hand and rests her head against mine. To my surprise, Risa sneaks off my other shoulder, passing from my lap into Syianne's lap, nuzzling her arm. We both stiffen, it's the first time my Alprine has ever touched another human being. But somehow, this feels right. The three of us stay like this for a long time.

Even though Fellin is gone, things will continue as had been planned for us. We will finish our training, we will pass the team exam and then the rest will be more of the same.

I can easily forget about the fact that Syianne and I are Spares, and we don't even understand what that means. Maybe we could ignore the troubling behavior of the Zephyr and the way it swallows people alive, or the Humane Advocates, or the Core's sneaky plans and growing power. I can go on living without ever finding out the identity of the Scribbles, or even about Belgrun, the Alprine-holder that got away.

These thoughts disrupt any sense of calm and inside of me there is an eruption of irresistible restlessness. Syianne looks at me as she carefully strokes Risa's white fur.

Knowing us, knowing the world we live in, these things will come floating to the surface sooner or later. But I need to let go of fear. I think I understand now what Xeprim kept trying to tell me. As long as I don't forget who I am, as long as I don't lose sight of myself, I'll be able to protect what's important to me.

Besides me and my Alprine, at this very moment, out of all the things in the world that still need protecting, the only one I truly want to protect is her.

Syianne, Lemonade.

THANK YOU, my wonderfully dedicated readers, for reading Undefined. I hope you've enjoyed your first Plunge into the Zephyr!