Author's Note: I know I keep thanking everyone for reading, but I can't help it -- thank you so much for enjoying my book! Please don't forget to vote and.... well, this chapter features a song I wrote called "Underground" that my friend actually composed music to. I'll try to somehow attach a recording here later on.... anyway, that's enough babbling out of me, let's go back to the story, shall we?

27 - Syianne

I sweep Cello's dark hair into a pile on the bathroom floor. "Let's eat something!" Fellin calls to me from the kitchenette. He places two mugs of water on the table. We decided, for tonight at least, not to mention the word Zribble, and to drink water in mugs and pretend that it's tea.

I bend down and brush Cello's hairs onto an old hologram paper and throw it into the bin.

"Have you ever tried the orange kind?" he says while rummaging through the boxes on our counter, he's quite at home here and for the most part I like having him around. It was a relief to talk about everything with someone. Telling our story and all its details allowed us to make sense of it. We aren't any wiser about what is happening to us, but at least we have a clear picture of what has already happened.

"I think it's supposed to be orange flavour." I say, sitting at the table.

He opens the box and pops a ball into his mouth, crunching it loudly, "fruity," he says with a shrug and then drinks the entire mug of water. "With an aftertaste of eww."

I laugh, despite the fact that I feel a little bit irked. "Don't you think it's strange?"

"Yeah, I can't figure out why we can't at least drink tea!"

"No, not that," I stare at my palms, "this whole thing with Risa Medrick."

Fellin rubs his smooth boyish chin, "Yeah, I guess. Had it been Risa Medrick without the black Jewel — it would have simply been awesome for Cello. But things as they are, and happening so fast —"

I point enthusiastically at Fellin, half rising from my seat, he couldn't have phrased it better. "Exactly!"

"But then," Fellin drops his gaze and cradles his mug with both his hands, "I think everything here feels so strange."

His mood sinks into me as well, and I lower my eyes to stare at the table. "At first it was just a very long dream," I say quietly, "but now I'm becoming accustomed to it and I feel" — I pause. What do I feel? I don't know the right words to describe it. "I've lost something."

"Our childhood?" Fellin ventures, "I miss my little sister. She's such a crybaby. I'll never see her grow up."

"I miss my dad." I whisper. Today, despite the knowledge that I wouldn't be able to get through, I tried to call but the line was always busy. I didn't have the time to feel anything or even to think about anyone. And now that I do, it hurts almost too much to bear. My old life, so organised, protected and warm, has dissipated into meaningless nothingness. My very existence in that old life is only a brief, sad memory.

At least, I still have Artus.

Fellin bangs both his fists on the table, "enough of that!" He forces a remarkable amount of cheerfulness onto his face and jumps out of his chair, clumsily stumbling across the room and turning on the radio. "Let's listen to some music."

The first piano notes of a popular song flutter out of the speakers. I pause, trying to recognise it. I know it very well —I've heard it at least a hundred times.

And I'm deep down,

Deep, deep down,

Underground.

Can anyone hear me?

Does anyone know I'm here?

I want to know whose

Tears wet my cheeks.

Will it only be the earth

That holds me when I weep?

And where's that white light

That you promised me?

You promised me

I wanna rise

I wanna scream

But there's no air

Is there even anybody

Out there?

"Speak of the devil," Fellin laughs.

It's a Risa Medrick song, a classic — one of her biggest hits. I am angry and storm across the room, why is she everywhere today? I'm about to switch the radio off, but my hand freezes.

And I'm falling down

Deeper, deeper down,

Underground

Can anyone save me?

Does anyone know I'm here?

I can't stop this fear

From taking my heart

The darkness that ate me

Will never let me out

And where's that white light

That you promised me?

You promised me

I wanna rise

I wanna scream

But there's no air

Is there even anybody

Out there?

I have never understood the words of this song, not until today. It was always hauntingly sad, maybe a song about a breakup or death. I switch off the radio, but the damage had been done, it's a song about something worse than a breakup and worse than death. My heart is pounding painfully in my chest, why do I feel so miserable and so horribly alone?

Fellin is frozen in his seat staring ahead with vacant eyes. My knees are weak and I sit on the lower bunk and bury my face in Cello's pillow. It's captured his smell and right now that's enough to calm this ache in my heart. But it's not Cello's smell that should be comforting me. It has to be Artus, it has always been Artus for me.

Without saying a word to Fellin, I grab the telephone, fumbling with it, and then dial Art's number.

"Hello?" he answers almost immediately; I'm so surprised that I can't say anything at first. "Hello? Sy? Is everything alright?"

"Art," I almost yell his name, "Art, I'm fine. Things turned out fine. Are you okay? Did you get into trouble? Is your friend..."

"He's not my friend. They sewed his thumb back on. I didn't get into trouble either."

I sigh in relief, but remain silent. It feels strange to talk to Art like this. The constricting sadness continues to bloom in my heart, have I already lost him? It feels like I have, it feels like we're talking through a thick barrier that stands between us. It had been a mistake to allow myself to love him. Nothing could bridge over the chasm now, not love or desire. I've been selfish and mean to him, tying him to me even when I clearly knew that he'll never be able to reach me. "Art..." I begin.

"I've tried to call you about twelve dozen times," he cuts me off. "Why didn't you call your parents? They're worried sick about you. I told them you were fine, but you should talk to them."

"I..." I don't have an excuse. I still can't believe it will always be impossible to speak with them. Why can't I speak with them and I can still speak with Artus?

"Just call them, Sy. Don't think too much of it and just throw them a line. That's all they want."

I say nothing.

"Anyways." As always, my silence doesn't threaten him and, he just goes on talking, as if he's having a conversation with me. "Can you come out tomorrow evening? We're having the first practice game. Vencit is coming too, and I have free time afterwards."

"I'll come," I say so fast and so suddenly it makes me cough. The prospect of seeing him gives me energy. I hang up soon after, the phone conversation is so distant and painful, but seeing him in person might cure me of all these feelings. Later, after Fellin leaves, I do my laundry and paint my fingernails. By eleven Cello has still not come back, so I go to sleep, eager for tomorrow to arrive.

*

The next morning Cello and I sit in silence and eat Zribble. I got used to its tasteless taste by now, and I'm absolutely sick of it. If at first it had been difficult to eat, now eating has become an odious task. I just want to get it over with and rid myself of hunger. Although a form of hunger still lingers even if I eat an entire box of Zribble. It's not a physical hunger, it's the sensual hunger for different tastes and textures, for the various degrees of fullness one experiences with real food.

Cello seems to be having the same sort of trouble. He sighs after every mouthful he swallows, until at some point he tries to swallow and sigh at the same time and chokes. After drowning himself in several mouthfuls of water, he glares at what remains in his bowl and pushes it away, "I hate this stuff so much."

I nod.

He squints at his plate, "What's it made of anyway?"

"Something engineered?" I suggest.

We don't talk much that day, I don't ask about his date and he doesn't tell me anything. He doesn't ask me any questions and I don't tell him about tonight. It's not an unpleasant sort of silence; we're both preoccupied with our own thoughts. Fellin joins us and the three of us pass the day with more studying. The only notable event is that Jika, an Undefined man in his late twenties, sits at our table during lunchtime and chats amiably with us — though neither of us appear to notice anything he says. Risa doesn't show up and Cello doesn't seem to look for her.

After lunch the skies become overcast and it looks like there will be rain. We decide to head to room 599, a library room where we can study.

"Syianne Locke," someone calls out from behind me. While the voice is that of a little boy, the dry clipped tone belongs to a peculiar creature. I turn to meet Dairyk's dark glare.

"Dairyk." I say.

"I would like to speak with you alone."

I exchange a glance with Cello, who looks from me to the black jewel and Fellin nods a greeting at Dairyk who promptly ignores him. "We'll see you upstairs." Cello says and they continue walking, leaving me alone with the thirteenth Black.

"What is it?" I keep my voice proper, trying to mimic his tone and mannerism. He's not the kind of kid who wants to be showered with warmth or kindness. I'm comfortably passive in his presence, but I'm also curious why he would seek out my company.

He looks left and right, but no one is around. He looks bored and annoyed. "The Blacks are plotting something."

"Oh?" I don't really see why he's telling me this.

"Whatever they're planning, you're in the centre of it."

I take a step back, surprised, but I regain my wits and remind myself to always ask questions when I can. "What do you mean? What are they planning?"

His glare intensifies, "I don't know, I'm not in the loop yet. They're excited about it though, they're having long intense conversations about you and arguments too."

I instantly think about Rimtake and the conversation I overheard. I feel a shiver run down my spine even as I ask myself what he could do to me. "Cello too?" I ask.

"Only you."

This only makes my heart speed faster. Can I trust Dairyk? He seems too new and too young to be lying already. "Why are you telling me this?"

He breaks his gaze away from me and for a very short moment he looks like the twelve year old boy that he is. "We're allies, for now. Let's agree to exchange information that could benefit us."

I bite my lip, and nod. I don't know what kind of life Dairyk lived before coming here, but he seems accustomed to not trusting people. "Deal," I say.

"Okay, then." He glares up at me again, "Bye."

As I walk up to main dome, my knees are shaking. All twelve Blacks planning something? I can't shake the feeling of dread that's hammering my stomach. I stare at text in the tablet but don't read a single word. Cello touches my elbow, "What's wrong?" he asks softly.

I look up at him and shake my head, "It's nothing."

That's right, it's nothing. The Black Jewels were discussing me? Who's to say that's a bad thing? I didn't hear anything specific that time with Rimtake, it doesn't have to be about that. It could be something good, it could be anything.

But until it becomes something, I have to convince myself that it's nothing.

*

Late that afternoon Fellin leaves us to attend a meeting with his guide. While Cello and I walk through the quiet Zephyr campus on our way home, I can finally think of something other than diabolical schemes being plotted against me. I wonder if Cello's date with Risa didn't go as well as I thought. Since he returned well after midnight, I naturally assumed that they hit it off. But shouldn't Cello seem happier and more absorbed in thoughts of love? Wouldn't he at least mention her?

"Any plans for tonight?" I ask him casually, disguising my extreme curiosity. Luckily, Cello fails to notice this.

"Yeah," he answers distractedly, as if he's thinking of something else while answering my question. "Risa wants to show me more of Rockdem, or something like that."

"Shouldn't you be a little more enthusiastic?" I pretend to be joking, but what I actually want to know is if he's even interested in her.

He turns to look at me thoughtfully and for a moment I think he is going to point out how overly inquisitive I am about his love-life. "Should I be?" He smiles, not with his usual confident smile, but one that's a little bit crooked and half-hearted. I like this side of Cello. "That is, I don't know what to think. I..." he pauses to scratch his head. I think the haircut I gave him makes him look much better. He looks like a good boy from a good family now, the sort of person they would choose to play the good guy in a film. "I don't understand why she wants to date me."

I laugh before I realise how cruel it is to make fun of someone who is feeling insecure. "It's because you're cool," I say quickly, trying to compensate for laughing at him.

"Humph," he says and continues walking. I follow him in silence, unsure whether he's insulted or embarrassed. He continues to be deep in thought and doesn't pay me any attention. I wish I was more like Minty who can just giggle and act cute, and turn an uncomfortable moment into a joke.

Only when we reach the call-board outside the Zephyr gates do I remember that I'm not going back to the Doorstep.

"I have to go somewhere," I blurt out as Cello steps up to call a car.

He pauses and looks at me, "Where to?"

"Erdry Field, I'm going to watch Artus play. They have a practice game."

He enters the address and then pauses before adding the amount of passengers. "Is it alright if you go alone? I'm not a fan of football."

"I don't think you were invited," I don't mean it to come out that.

"That's good, then no one will miss me." He hands me the ticket for my rail car and calls one for himself. A yellow car arrives and I hesitate a moment before opening its door. "See you."

He nods, but then frowns and grabs my wrist, "Be careful, okay?"

"Okay?" I say and it sounds like a question, I pull my wrist away and climb into the car.