Chapter 29 - High On Emotions
Riley was coming out of the shower stalls when he saw the rest of the team enter the locker room. Making his way past them all, he sneakily picked up his tossed clothes that were thrown away when he was low key seducing Jessie.
Riley undid the latch on his locker so that he could get his fresh set of clothes. He was in the middle of changing when he felt a pair of hands pushing down his shoulders.
When he turned around, Riley saw Cameron in front of him. Cameron was in the middle of changing out of his sweaty shirt when he asked where his brother was. "He left with you, but he's not in the room anymore."
Riley peeked a look around the room, and he couldn't find Jessie either. "Jessie was here when I went to shower. I wonder where he went."
After Cameron left Rey to go shower, Riley decided to call Jessie. The phone picked up after a couple of rings, and so Riley asked Jessie where he was.
"I'm coming back now." Jessie responded, as he hung up straight afterwards.
Riley looked at his phone funnily when he saw the call disconnect. He shrugged his shoulders as he took a seat next to Jessie's belongs - waiting for him to come back.
A couple of minutes later, Riley saw Jessie walk right past him and gather his belongings. "You alright?"
"Olivia knows." Jessie whispered to Riley without looking at him.
Riley was taken back after hearing that somebody found out about them. When he saw Jessie abruptly leave the room, Riley blinked himself awake as he chased after Jessie.
Riley unknowingly pulled Jessie into the same room he talked to Olivia, and he closed the door behind them so that they could talk in private. "She knows?"
Jessie nodded his head as he told Riley about their conversation, "She saw and heard us going at it in the locker room. And when she asked about it, I just told her the truth since we were so obvious."
Riley stopped Jessie in his tracks when he saw Jessie reach for the door. Jessie was silent as he looked at everywhere but Riley.
"Is that it? You don't seem to be reacting much." Riley mentioned.
Jessie looked at his shoes when he whispered, "There's nothing I can do. She said she will do whatever she wants with the information, and she said she wants to see me punished."
Riley held Jessie's wrist when he tried to reach for the door handle again. Riley was growing frustrated at how dismissive and avoidant Jessie was being. "I'll go talk to her then, and make sure she doesn't spill anything."
"I'm pretty sure she hates you for turning me gay," Jessie sadly laughed. "Given all the shit she told me about you, I highly doubt that she's going to listen to anything coming from your mouth."
Riley finally understood why Jessie was being so 'off'' with him during the time he disappeared from the locker room. "What did Olivia say exactly?"
"Nothing new."
Jessie shook Riley's grips from his wrist so that he could try to leave again. Riley's frustration peaked when he saw Jessie try to leave through the door, and so Riley pushed Jessie against the wall so that he couldn't run away from him.
"Get the fuck away from me!" Jessie yelled.
Riley pushed Jessie against the wall even harder so that he couldn't squirm away. "Why are you being so difficult right now Jessie?!"
"Because I'm the fucking idiot that thought we could make something out of us one day!"
Riley was still confused on why Jessie suddenly needed to be anywhere but with him. However right now, Riley was even more lost after hearing Jessie talk more. "What are you talking about?"
"Olivia made me realise that we were doomed from the beginning. I thought I was willing to give up everything to be with you, but then I would be an idiot for thinking you felt the same about me." Jessie finally explained.
Riley's heart jumped at the chance when he heard that Jessie thought they could eventually be together. But because it was coated with mistrust, doubt, and anger, Riley was scared that Jessie was taking it back.
"You change more sexual partners than a chameleon changes colours. So what's stopping you from throwing me into the wild once you've had your fun with the captain of the football team?"
Riley felt physically weakened when he listened to Jessie criticise their potential relationship so easily. Riley's grip on Jessie was loosened, and Jessie took advantage of it by pushing Riley away from him.
Jessie took pity on himself as he felt ashamed of how easily whipped he was for Riley. "I'm just your dirty little play toy Riley! You know I would do anything you ask me to, so that's why you're so fine with me keeping us a secret - when it doesn't even benefit you!"
Jessie grew even more furious as he then accused Riley of potentially blackmailing him in the near future. "If I make one bad mistake and piss you off, then you will easily out me and embarrass me in front of everyone! Messing with my feelings is all fun for you, and I bet that you're just waiting to screw me even more when you find someone better!"
Riley was hurt, betrayed, and disappointed that Jessie could even think of him like that. He wanted to step closer and hold Jessie, so that he could whisper how everything he said was nonsense.
When Riley tried to hug Jessie, he ended up being pushed away instead. That rejection gave Riley a feeling that he hated, and Riley couldn't stand Jessie being so mad at him.
Cameron heard all of the yelling when he hesitantly entered the room. He sensed the uncomfortable tension in the room, as he asked them both. "Everything okay in here?"
"Jessie thinks that I'm using him for my own personal gain and fun," Riley soul crushingly explained. "Olivia's got it into his head that we're not going to last long, because I'll get bored or something crazy like that."
Cameron saw how serious they both were, and he was dumbfounded when he learned why they were suddenly arguing. "Jessie, you can't possibly think that..."
"Because it's true!" Jessie emotionally yelled.
Jessie began to tear up as he punched the wall besides himself. "Why would anyone want me? Mom and dad hated me forever, so there must be something wrong with me. I could never make it work with the perfect girl, and now she despises me too. I don't doubt she's going to drive everyone away from me, and it won't take long until both of you hate me too!"
Cameron walked up to his brother and began to try and shake the idiocy out of him. "Why would you even think that?"
"Because I'm a fucking delusional mess!" Jessie then rambled on about reasons why people would be driven away from him, "I'm having confusing and conflicting feelings about another guy. I'm so needy for attention that people are eventually going to get sick of me. I'm too competitive which means that I constantly look like an asshole. And I'm stupid enough to think that anybody would ever like me for being me!"
"But I like you!" Riley screamed from the top of his voice.
Riley pushed Cameron out of the way so that he was stood in front of a tearful Jessie. He wanted to look into Jessie's eyes, and let him see and feel the words coming out of his mouth. "You're being delusional for believing all the crap you and Olivia just said, but that can't drive me away from you!"
Jessie was shaking his head vigorously because he didn't believe anything Riley was saying. "You're lying. You're making me drop my guard so you can use me again. You hated me a few months ago, but now that's suddenly gone away?"
Riley believed that Jessie's heightened emotions distorted his rational and logical thinking. He didn't blame Jessie for being so upset, but he didn't know what he could do to make Jessie see some sense. "I could say the same to you! If your feelings changed for me, then why can't my feelings have changed for you?"
Jessie began to bitterly laugh to himself. "Because I'm always stupid enough to be played by the people I trust and care about! I don't want to wait around and see the pin drop - to see you hate me even more than you probably do right now."
Jessie began to flee the room as he tearfully ran away. Jessie was too quick this time for either of Cameron or Riley to stop him, and so he left them both before he could hear them hurt him.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Riley didn't wait long to find the girl that started all of this mess. He hunted down Olivia, who was making her way towards the gymnasium, and dragged her towards the back of the school.
"Get your disgusting hands off me!" Olivia screamed.
Riley only listened because he was too close to strangling her. He paced the floor as he vented his anger out loud. "Jessie hates me now, and it's all your fault! What kind of messed up shit did you feed him?!"
Olivia mockingly laughed at how she successfully driven a wedge between them. "That little fag deserves what he gets for using me as his beard."
"Jessie never used you!" Riley defended. "I thought you cared about Jessie, so why are you hurting him like this?"
Olivia did used to care about Jessie, but it quickly changed once he broke up with her. All of her feelings for Jessie quickly turned to hatred when she discovered the truth about them two, and so she then began to hate Riley for stealing the one guy she liked.
"I thought I was falling for Jessie, I've had feelings for him for as long as we've been friends." Olivia admitted.
Suddenly Riley felt a slight sense of pity for Olivia, because he understood the feeling of pining over Jessie for so long. But that feeling soon changed when Olivia continued to talk.
"People are going to find out soon that I turned the school captain gay, and that was the reason why we couldn't be together - because I was his fucking beard! Do you know how embarrassing that's going to be for me?" Olivia squealed with anger.
Riley was extremely mad at how Olivia could be so selfish and so self-centred. "None of this is about us Olivia. Jessie's been through a lot of difficult shit, and making him distant from the people he cares about won't help him be happy like he deserves."
Olivia snarled as she laughed at Riley's words. "Because he has mommy and daddy issues? Please..."
Riley felt like his jaw dropped and his heart sink after hearing Olivia's venomous remarks. He never pegged her down for being such a vile human being, and he felt sickened that he used to call Olivia his friend.
Olivia snapped her fingers as she dramatically changed the topic. "You know, I always thought it was weird how you two were such good friends. I'm guessing it was so you could eventually manipulate the 'vulnerable' Jessie into having sex with you, because he's desperate and you're kind of skanky."
Riley was taken back at how vicious and sharp her words were. "You're making up you your own narrative, and it just shows that you are fucking deranged!"
Olivia's rabid behaviour soon changed when she switched her personality to the usual sweet and loving type. "As much as I hate Jessie right now, I really don't want him to be hurt by you - even more that he already is."
Olivia stepped closer to Riley so that she could whisper into his ear. She then placed a hand on his shoulder, and put an intense amount of pressure there. "That's why I'm going to make sure he stays away from the minefield that you are. He's going to wake up from his gay panic soon enough, and then he will eventually come crawling back to me - since I'm the best thing in his life."
Riley was shaking his head because it seemed like Olivia genuinely believed what she was saying. "All I've done is look out for Jessie, and I'll never mess with him like you're doing now."
"Yet! "Olivia added. "People think you're this alright and friendly enough guy, but this whole school deserves to know how despicable and disgusting you are."
Olivia kissed Riley's cheek, and then sadly shrugged her shoulders. "I guess Jessie will just have to be a casualty when I show people the truth about you..."
Olivia flicked her hair as she confidently strutted pass Riley. She began to laugh when she waved goodbye to a speechless Riley, "See you at the pep rally soon! I'm pretty sure you won't want to miss it!"
Olivia was quickly lost in the crowd, so Riley couldn't bring her back and ask her what she was planning. He felt threatened that Olivia was going to spread more hatred about him to the school, so he wanted to stop her.
But most importantly, he wanted it to stop infecting Jessie before it was even more too late. So Riley quickly made his way towards the gymnasium in an attempt to stop her.
~~~~~~~~~~
Cameron found his brother hiding in the corner of the library after a long time of searching. Jessie was slumped over the table as he hid his face from everyone, and Cameron was confident that his face was stained with tears.
"Leave me alone." Jessie mumbled into the table when he felt Cameron's presence next to him.
Cameron did the opposite as he pulled up the chair next to Jessie. "I really do love you Jessie, and I could never hate you. But right now your stupidity is doing it."
Jessie finally looked up at his brother so that he could see his face. Cameron was laughing quietly with a small smile on his face, but his eyes were misty as he then put his arms around Jessie's shoulders.
"I can't even describe how insane you are - for even remotely thinking that I will get sick of you." Cameron leaned in closer so that he could gently whisper to his brother. "I know mom and dad messed you up pretty bad, and that's why you're trying to drive everyone you care about away from you."
Even though Jessie was silent, he was admitting to himself that this was all a self-preservation method. If people couldn't grow close, then they wouldn't be able to hurt him as much.
Cameron took in the silence and hugged Jessie tightly. "I don't need to say why I love you, because I think you buried it deep down so you'll be less hurt if we ever drift apart."
Cameron pulled himself away from Jessie so that he could look at his face. Affectionately pinching his cheeks, Cameron told Jessie. "Sadly for you dear brother, you're stuck with me until we both die of old age - side by side and fighting for the hospital bed by the window."
Jessie began to laugh at Cameron's suggestion that they would still be this close until they die. He felt a sense of safety with Cameron next to him, and Jessie felt lucky his brother loved him this much.
"Riley looks at you as if you hang the moon and stars. Every time I see you together, his eyes always follows you because he's obsessed with you."
Cameron squeezed Jessie's hand as he tried to drive it further at how Riley was always going to stay by side as well. "I know you seem all sceptical about him, and you may not know how you feel about him yet since you're still figuring things out, but I have no doubt that Riley is willing to sacrifice everything so that he can be with you."
Jessie's eyes glistened as he was overwhelmed at how guilty he felt for trying to push Riley away. Jessie knew he was in self-preservation mode to protect himself, so he pushed Riley away to save them both from getting hurt in the future.
Jessie didn't know that it could hurt this much. Jessie felt like he was in agony for treating Riley the way he did, and he felt even more stupid for remotely believing what he said to Riley.
"I think it's over between us now," Jessie whispered sadly. "I ruined one of the few good things I had."
Cameron laughed too loudly, and it drew several looks from the people around them. When they all told him to quieten down, he quickly apologised to them all as he then turned back to an embarrassed Jessie.
Leaning in so that he was quiet, Cameron said, "Riley never call it quits about anything. And I'm certain he's still going to fight for you - if that's what you want?"
Jessie nodded his head as he admitted he wanted Riley. There was no more confusion about his feelings for Riley, because he was certain about how he felt for Riley.
A couple of hours ago, Jessie thought that he was willing to give up everything to be with Riley. But a few pathetic words from Olivia made him doubt his own feelings, and Jessie regretted it ever since.
Riley was the person he first thought about when he wakes up, and Riley was the last person he thinks about when he's sleeping. Falling asleep in the same bed as Riley, and waking up next to him, Jessie never felt as wanted as Riley made him feel.
"I've fallen for Riley, and I don't want to lose him."
"Then what are you waiting for?" Cameron laughed again. "Go get him back."
Jessie began to psych himself up as he then shot up from the chair. Cameron heard Jessie keep whispering to himself, as they then both stood up together to leave the library.
"Where is he?" Jessie asked.
Cameron explained where Riley was going to be. "Given that the whole school has to go to the pep rally, we'll see him with everyone else in the gymnasium. Let's go."
Nodding his head, Jessie began to head towards the gymnasium with Cameron - and fix his own mess so that he could get Riley back.
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