8. The Heart of a Beast
Dedicated to Saphire--flames for being my first follower! I appreciate her from the bottom of my heart!
This chapter is unedited so please excuse the grammatical errors
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Suzzanah's POV
I had become the girl who had stared death in the face...or so I thought, because those who stare death in the face, they...well, they die, but for me...it never came, even when I thought I was ready for it, well, that is, as ready as I'll ever be, to die. But my waiting was only rewarded by more waiting.
Somewhere along the course of events I had clamped my eyes shut, because I didn't want the last thing I'd ever see to be the inside of a wide animal's ravenous mouth with forty something razor sharp teeth ready to sink into me. But I soon figured out that doing so was indeed a very bad idea because it just made the trepidation and anxiety worse.
The idea of playing dead occurred to me much later in the sequence of events following my sighting of the wolf, so despite my voracious nagging need to want to do so, I held myself back, telling myself that it would only make me hope for something that wasn't meant to be...or was it?
It seemed like hours had passed since I shut everything out and my world became black, but in reality it had probably only been a few exhausting seconds.
I couldn't feel my body. I didn't know whether it was owing to the fear or the blood loss, but a small part of me was grateful for the numbness. Hopefully it would last till the end.
But when is the end?!
I knew that in the last few seconds there hadn't been any movement on my part, but why did it seem like there hadn't been any movement on the wolf's part either?
Have I not only gone numb but also deaf?
Somewhere in the distance a bird sang to the open sky and I felt my ears return to me and I both praised and cursed the feeling. Suddenly I felt extremely auditory. I could hear the wind moving, blades of grass rustling, the leaves falling and my heart beating.
But I couldn't hear the wolf, not at all.
But of course my thought was negated once again when I heard a soft sniff coming from right next to my face, making me go into Rigor mortis. Then another sniff came from near my shoulder, another by my waist, yet another by my thigh and back up by my face again.
I'm being sniffed like a piece of roast chicken on thanksgiving!
The sniffing went on and on and on till I was so sick of the sound that I was ready to slap the stupid animal.
Oh for crying out loud! My body odor is the same on all parts of my body!
I had already heard too much sniffing for one day in the office, and to think the only normal occurrence of it had to be from this creature standing upon me right now!
I wished that it would either eat me or leave me alone, the latter being my desperate and only prayer- none made for being alive at the end of the day- because even if the animal didn't kill me, the anxiety most definitely would.
But regardless the sniffing continued, much to my chagrin.
I stayed unmoving even when I heard it sniff my battered calf, even though on the inside I wanted to scream at a note not yet attempted in the natural world, but it was when a soft wet mobile thingamajig skimmed my wound that I jumped twenty feet into the air and back.
My eyes shot open to yet again be greeted by cautious chocolaty ones which looked too human for comfort. My eyes darted from the rich brown pools to the blood red one by my leg, then back to the brown ones. And then it registered.
It just tasted me!
The minute that thought flashed in my mind, a glass shattering screech left my mouth and filled the wind, the forest and our eardrums- mine and the wolf's.
And for the first time ever, I saw an animal squeeze its eyes shut and clamp its ears to the top of its head as an expression too alike a cringe crossed its face.
When all breath and sound had left my body, the air was yet again filled with silence, and in my opinion, this was far more deafening.
The wolf's ears slowly perked up, its eyes opened cautiously, narrowing on my face, making mine bulge out of their sockets.
A deep low growl left its lips that momentarily curled up before it bent its head towards my bleeding calf, its eyes never leaving my pale face.
My heart rate sped up to a thousand beats per minute as its face, or more specifically its mouth, got closer to my body part. All too quickly I could feel everything again, the tree behind me, the grass beneath me, the wind around me and the animal atop me.
In a split second my hand found a thick broken branch lying by my side, which no doubt got there from when I was performing my acrobatic fall from the open sky, and before I could contemplate what I was doing the thick wood made violent contact with the side of the humongous animal's face.
A loud snarl filled the air as the wolf was forced away from my leg by the impact and it took my body less than a second to pick itself up from the dirt and blood on the ground and dash towards more trees, just away from this particular one.
I didn't know where the pain went and where the strength came from as I found my legs crashing into the forest undergrowth at a speed I didn't know they possessed. I flew through twists and turns of green and brown as adrenaline fueled my body while my brain continued on shutdown.
It was only when a thunderous growl resonated through the woods that my mind returned to me and the full impact of what I had just done hit me knocking me forwards as I ran. Almost immediately the pain returned like a nuclear blast leaving my body burning and throbbing at levels I had neither experienced nor expected.
My body begged me to slow down, pause, quit but I pushed myself forward, my steps faltering but not stopping.
At the same time I became increasingly aware of the powerful inhumane footsteps hurtling after me, only adding to my detriment.
My eyes filled with tears of pain and fear, blurring my vision till everything was just a smudge of greens and browns interrupted occasionally by a brighter shade.
And just when I thought my vision couldn't get any more distorted, a heavy mass of muscle and fur landed on my back causing me to lurch forwards, out of control. My world spun as I went from seeing the ground under me to the open sky above. A feeling of weightlessness engulfed my body as my feet left the ground and I was momentarily suspended in the air, arms spayed out, hair flying in all directions, eyes seeing too many things at the same time to be able to make any sense of them.
It lasted all of two frozen seconds before the weight of my body descended into me again and I landed heavily yet smoothly on a bed of strong softness. A groan- more of exhaustion than pain- escaped my lips. My hand fisted the soft velvety material that had broken my fall. It felt so good against my fingers that my head immediately shot up to look at it, only to be met with a pair of hauntingly familiar wolf-human eyes glaring daggers at me.
I fell on it! I fell on the wolf!!
My body now lay sprawled like a blanket on the massive wolf's back as it sat on the ground. My reflexes kicked in and my mouth fell open to release yet another ultrasonic scream but it was cut off abruptly by a loud growl from the very pissed off looking wolf.
I immediately rotated my body and slid off its soft back onto the hard ground with a thud. Pain hit my back, stabbing at my wounded and battered body. Ignoring it I pushed myself up on my elbows only to be pushed back down when the large wolf stood on top of me, two massive paws flanking each side of my body, its large head less than an inch away from my own.
It growled again, baring its threateningly sharp teeth at me making me cry out in fear and panic thrashing around desperately. That only made the animal press its heavy body into me preventing my flailing as it growled louder.
Finally feeling utterly frustrated and helpless, my eyes squeezed shut, the barrier of my self-control shattered and I burst into unrestrained tears. Every part of my body ached. Every inch of me felt exhausted. I didn't have the energy to do anything but cry.
Cry about the pain now inhabiting my body, cry about the cruelty of life towards my fleeting moments of happiness and freedom, cry about anything and everything hurtful that had transpired in my twenty one years of breathing.
There I lay, sprawled pathetically on the dirty ground, under a colossal beast preparing for dinner, bawling my eyes out as all hope left me.
"Please", I wept, "please, I don't want to die. I don't want to die"
I kept repeating the words over and over again, as my tears slid endlessly down my dirty face.
Above me the beast remained deadly still. I could tell it was still there only because I could feel its fur on the exposed skin of my legs and feel it's warm breath on my face.
As minutes passed, my breathing became ragged and my lungs burned from the effort. My tears slowed till they came to a stop. Exhaustion took over me and I felt my consciousness escaping me as darkness clouded my senses.
Slowly I opened my heavy eyelids to see the world one last time. Through my blurred vision I saw the large beast staring down at me with eyes so sad that for a short minute my consciousness shot back into me like a bullet.
Within that short minute, the large beast bent its heavy head towards mine and licked my tear streaked face clean. Within that short minute it lifted itself off of me and settled next to my injured leg, licking at my stinging wound, numbing the pain. Within that short minute its head returned to the side of mine, burying itself in my unkempt locks as a pained whimper escaped it, filling my ears.
And all too suddenly I didn't know why I had screamed, why I had run, why I had cried and struggled and thrashed around. Within that short minute the same eyes that had up until now seen a wild, hungry and dangerous beast, saw a quiet, pained and compassionate soul.
I saw the wolf for its strength and not the fear it evoked, for its company and not the hairs it raised and for its intentions and not the methods it used.
And when that short minute ended and the wolf raised its head to look into my eyes with its burdened dark ones, I felt satisfaction fill me when the sadness in them cleared and was replaced by something that closely resembled surprise, awe and even relief. And as the consciousness seeped out of my body, I felt my gratitude expressed to the large kind animal as I fell into a dreamless sleep with a smile on my face.
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A/N
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Until next time,
All my love
Angel
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