https://youtu.be/CkIyL3ApIXo

The night was long and lonely. It always was. The clock struck three a.m., and he was tossing and turning on his hotel bed. His mind itched to go for a run to get some fresh air. However, it wasn't something he could freely do anymore.

Once upon a time, he could sleep on the streets, and no one would care. But now, he couldn't even step out without paparazzi following around.

Haneul had a room conveniently booked in the same hotel, same floor. So tomorrow, when they left the hotel, reporters would see them together, and it would further solidify their relationship with the press.

What a mess.

Jungkook sighed. He tossed again, kicking away the sheets that pooled around his waist. Sleep used to be so easy for Jungkook. He was a heavy sleeper and would fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

It wasn't the same anymore. Sleep wouldn't come easy because the one person who promised to hold him every night wasn't here anymore. The one man who protected him through everything wasn't here to protect him anymore.

Jungkook had no one but himself to blame. He caused this. His greed for more caused this.

He threw the sheets off and rushed to the bathroom. Yanking the shower off, he stood under the steady stream. A loud wailing sound erupted from his chest as he broke down. Pulling his hair, he slid down the wall, sitting under the stream with nothing but his memories as a company.

"Jungkook, what's wrong?" Jimin's concerned voice reached him before he felt the soft touch on his back. "Your agency called. They said you ran out of the set today."

Jungkook curled further under the thin blanket that had become his fortress of comfort. A place where he would hide when things became too much. His eyes burned with unshed tears, and the first tear slid down his cheek at the sound of Jimin's soft voice.

"Jungkook-ah, talk to me," he demanded gently. "Did someone bother you?"

Jungkook shook his head, turning away. He didn't know how to approach this issue. No one told him he'd have to kiss some actress when he landed the role. It was brief and just a simple peck. But Jungkook panicked and ran out. He never kissed anyone in his life; if he did, he wanted it to be Jimin.

Jimin pulled the blanket away from his face. "You can tell me, Jungkookie. Hyung will take care of them for you. Did someone say something to upset you?"

Jungkook sniffled, lunging to hug Jimin. Instead, he only wrapped his hands around him. The rookie actor shook his head again.

"Then what is it?" Jimin coaxed again. "Don't keep it in. You know the rules."

Yes, he was aware. No secrets. Always speak your mind.

"They wanted me to kiss someone today," he confessed. "I didn't know I was supposed to do that."

"Aww..." Jimin cooed at him. "Is that what got my baby all upset?"

Jungkook nodded. He sat sideways, leaning on Jimin's chest. All the stress seemed to evaporate just at that.

"It's just acting, sweetheart. It doesn't mean anything."

"But I'm a supporting actor, not even a second lead. So why do I have to kiss the girl?" Jungkook whined. "I don't like it."

"Maybe it's important for the story," Jimin said, voice still soft and understanding. Gentle fingers stroked his hair. "I read the script. Your character plays an important role in the series."

"I don't wanna," he whined again, fisting his shirt.

"Why, sweetheart?"

Jimin has always used endearing terms with him. Jungkook didn't exactly remember when it started, but it felt so natural. However, those words only started to make his heart flutter for various other reasons recently.

As a shy high school graduate, who had just turned eighteen, Jungkook was still new to these fluttering feelings that started almost a year ago. He was too scared to admit, though. His Yoongi hyung, however, encouraged him to follow his heart. He was the only soul Jungkook spoke to about this. No one else knew.

Last fall, Jungkook was so confused as to why he was feeling this sudden urge to kiss Jimin on the lips. Why did butterflies erupt in his stomach whenever Jimin kissed his cheek or forehead? Why did he begin to daydream about Jimin in school, and why he felt things when they held hands?

"Baby..." Jimin called, bringing him out of his thoughts. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

Jungkook buried his face into his chest. His heart began to race; breathing grew erratic. Finally, the answer was on the tip of his tongue.

"Should I talk to your agency?" Jimin asked again. "You can leave the cast if you don't want to do this. I won't allow anyone to force you, Jungkook-ah," he continued without realizing the turmoil in his mind.

"No," he whispered. "It's not that." He knew it was just acting. The director told him they didn't have to do anything else—just a brush of lips and the rest they would take care of with the camera angles.

"Then what is it?"

Jungkook chewed at his lip. "Because I don't want to give my first kiss to some random stranger in the sets just because it's needed for some stupid drama." He pulled back with a pout. "I won't kiss her."

Jimin stiffened as he stared at him. Then he laughed. "Why are you so cute?" He pinched his cheek.

"Don't laugh." He pushed at Jimin's chest but didn't move an inch from him. The position was just so comfy. "I mean it. I don't want to give my first kiss to her." Not when he was saving it for a special someone.

"Do you have someone you want to share it with then?" Jimin teased.

Jungkook fiddled with the sheets. Heat spread across his cheeks.

"Someone is blushing," Jimin sang. "Who is it? Do I know this person? Why didn't I know about this before?"

Jungkook scowled. "What do you mean who it is?" He pushed at his chest again. "Of course, it has to be you. You're the only one in my life."

A sudden silence fell over them, and Jungkook slapped a hand to cover his mouth with an alarm. Shit. He hadn't thought twice before blurting that out. He didn't meet Jimin's gaze for a long time.

Jimin put his index finger under his chin, gently lifting him. "Look at me."

Jungkook shook his head. His lips jutted out.

"Jungkookie, please... I want to see your eyes."

Jungkook blew out a breath and squared his shoulders, slowly lifting his gaze. Jimin had a soft smile, even the most delicate look in his eyes.

"Did you mean it?" he asked. "Do you want to share your first kiss with me?"

Jungkook swallowed. "I want to share all my firsts and lasts with you," he whispered. Then, a sudden bout of courage burst through his chest. "Want to be yours and yours only."

Tears filled Jimin's eyes in an instant. He searched Jungkook's face before a soft laugh escaped his lips. "Are you for real?" he asked before his gaze fell on his lips. "That's all I ever wanted. For you to be mine and for me to be yours."

A smile tugged at Jungkook's lips. He fisted Jimin's shirt. "What are you waiting for then? Kiss me already."

And when has Jimin ever said no to him? So he kissed him, first, at the corner of his lip that caused him to part his lips in anticipation. He cupped his face and tilted his head, lips hovering over his and breathing fanning his mouth.

It was as if he was given a chance for Jungkook to pull back. When he didn't, Jimin moved to kiss his lips. Not a peck like the director explained to him on the sets today. Instead, Jimin took his upper lip between his lips, gently sucking on it before doing the same with his bottom lip.

Jungkook felt his breath whoosh out of his lungs as both his hands flew to grip Jimin's biceps. Jimin repeated the action, and Jungkook followed, mimicking his movements. Then, slowly yet firmly, they began to slide their lips.

Jimin's tongue teased him, licking at the seam of his lips before he deepened the kiss. Jungkook fell back on the bed, and Jimin followed, chasing his mouth. He tasted like coffee and the flavor of lollipops he often sucked between those lush lips.

Jimin's familiar scent surrounded him. A special combination of sweat and whatever hard work he had to do that day. It was unique to Jimin. And it offered so much comfort to Jungkook. It was the scent of safety and assurance. The one thing that promised him the world and made him feel protected.

That was the best kiss to date because it was his first, followed by many. The one that taught him the difference between a real kiss and the reel kiss he shared with his onscreen pair the next day on set. Till then, Jungkook has had his fair share of onscreen kisses. But none could ever hold a candle to the passion Jimin could ignite in his heart and body with just his eyes because Jimin owned his heart. He owned his entire being.

Jungkook couldn't breathe. The pain in his chest continued to grow, and he clawed at his chest, tears rolling down his cheeks. It was unbearable tonight. The supposedly happiest night of his life wasn't happier .

He lost his happiness the moment Jimin left him. Jungkook was elated with his success that he had lost sight of what was going on around him. When he had caught on, it was too late. Jimin was already too far away. Gone from his life.

He found out he was in a gilded cage, and his life was that of a caged bird. The contract he signed without considering the consequences was a noose to his neck. He was doomed for life.

Jimin was his strength. Without Jimin closer, the company had strung him like a puppet. Nothing was the same as it looked. He was lost. So lost without Jimin.

The nights were long and cold without Jimin. Sleep was too far from his reach. He had everything, yet he had nothing. Tonight was the worst of all.

The media was already talking. The photos of him with the actress were spreading around like it was supposed to be. His newfound Hollywood fame was nothing but a sword hanging over his head.

It had been three years since he was home. He wasn't even allowed to leave the States in the name of the shooting and his passport was held hostage by his manager. He was subjected to rigorous work in the past three years. Forced to learn martial arts and English during that time. Filmed three movies that would forever be a milestone in the history of his career.

There was only so much a person could do in a foreign land, especially when you didn't speak the language nor knew a single person around you. Jungkook was stuck. He was still stuck even after he slowly built courage and learned the language. He felt helpless as ever.

"Jungkook-ah, come on, get up," Taehyung urged. "Shit. You're shaking. You've been in here for so long. It's cold." He pulled him up from the cold bathroom floor.

Warmth flooded him as soon as a towel was wrapped around his shoulders. Another was being used on his hair. Taehyung tied the towel around his hip before leading him outside. His wet boxers flexed uncomfortably.

Jungkook blinked. He didn't notice how or when Taehyung got here. Thankfully, his friend had another key to this room.

Taehyung was the only good thing that had happened to him during his time in the States. Introduced as an only fellow actors from Korea, they'd stuck together in an unknown country for the past three years. Jungkook didn't think he would have lasted long without his friendship and support.

Taehyung came from the same agency and suffered through similar rigorous schedules. He was also someone with a talent to outshine any actor on the set, but the agency had something against the actor. Taehyung once said it was because he was a rebel and refused to budge. It was their way of getting back at him. They blocked several projects, diverting them to other artists.

"Change your clothes first." He led him to the bedroom. Taehyung sifted through his items, grabbing a pair of clothes.

Jungkook began to change while Taehyung turned around to give him privacy.

"I saw your bathroom lights on from my balcony. So I came to check on you," Taehyung said. "You could have just come to my room if you couldn't sleep, Jungkook."

At nights Jungkook missed Jimin too much; he found comfort in Taehyung, who had become a dear friend. Only one who knew about Jimin. Jungkook was speechless. He had no answer for his friend. There was so much going on in his head.

"We are going home soon. We will figure something out," Taehyung said. "I'll personally find Jimin. I promise."

Home. California was never his home. His home was with Jimin. That was where he belonged.

"You're in the same agency," Jungkook whispered. His shoulders slumped. "They're monitoring your calls and texts."

"Then we will figure out something," Taehyung assured. "You're not alone anymore, Jungkook-ah. You have me. We will find a way."

Jungkook could only nod. He didn't even know where Jimin went. He brushed the tears and slid under the blankets. Taehyung settled beside him with a worried look.

That night once again, sleep failed Jungkook. His heart was heavy and bleeding with each passing minute. Jungkook felt like dying without Jimin close to him. The pain was too much to bear. He missed him. Missed him so much.

***

Jimin carefully made his way to his apartment on the other side of the globe. His steps were slow and steady yet had a little sway. He didn't have work the next day, so he didn't have to worry about waking up early because sleep evaded him even after getting drunk.

Walking these streets with his poster held close to his chest felt like he was holding Jungkook's hands again. If he closed his eyes, he could still hear the musical giggles and soft words he spoke in his ears. He could feel the ghost hugs and heavy weight against his skin. So he did the only thing he was doing these days, reminiscing his memories with Jungkook. Those memories were his only solace.

They met when he was thirteen. Jimin never had an easy childhood. When life became too hard, he ran away from his home and away from their abusive parents to start over elsewhere. On one rainy night, in one of the dingy streets, he found a little boy curled in front of a closed shop while searching for shelter, shivering in the cold. The rain was pelting hard around them.

Street life wasn't easy. There were no rules. It was always a game of survival. The strong one here always won the bread. But Jimin was always careful. He ensured he didn't run into trouble and always respected the other's boundaries. If someone else had taken up a place he frequented to sleep or take shelter, he just found another.

Tonight was challenging because of the rain, and this was the only place with shade in the vicinity. Jimin would have to walk at least ten or fifteen minutes in this rain where he couldn't even see past one foot to find the next shelter.

"Can I stay here?" Jimin asked.

The boy eyed him with fear in his eyes before moving away, putting as much space between them as possible. He brought his knees to his chest, turned away from him and tried to make himself as small as possible.

Jimin sat beside him, eying him curiously. The boy looked younger than him. So small, thin and fragile. Jimin knew hunger. And he saw one in the boy's eyes. He pulled the piece of bread he saved for the next day and offered it to him with a soft smile.

"Are you hungry?"

Jungkook hadn't made a move to take the food at first, eyeing him up and down as if he'd strike him if he reached out. Then hesitantly, after several minutes, he grabbed the bread, chomping it down in a few bites and swallowing it hungrily.

"My name is Jimin," he said.

"Jungkook," the boy replied hesitantly.

The silence settled around them after that was comfortable, and Jimin didn't know when he fell asleep. The rain had stopped in the morning, and he found the boy curled on his lap, his mouth agape as he slept. A smile tugged at his lips as he brushed his hair away from his face.

They had stuck together ever since. Jimin, the older of the two, always took care of Jungkook, always putting him first and ensuring he had something to eat. It was hard surviving on the streets as children. But, then, he'd learned Jungkook was two years younger than him and ran away from foster care for reasons he couldn't explain. Later, when he did, Jimin learned how much of a pig his foster parent had been.

Jimin worked hard, taking odd jobs, sometimes several a day, to support both of them. Jungkook, too helped wherever he could. Then, at fifteen, Jimin stumbled into some goons who got him into an underground fighting ring, where he fought for the first time to protect himself and emerged as a winner. The victory money had provided them with food for an entire week.

Jimin became a full-time fighter. Sometimes he won, sometimes he lost, but the money was excellent. Jungkook wasn't happy but couldn't complain when they brought food to their table every night and didn't have to go to sleep on an empty stomach.

Jungkook began to go to school. He was a good student with a keen eye for details, and Jimin thought it was for the best. He didn't want the same fate for both of them, and Jungkook wasn't made for the rough life in the streets anyway.

So he constantly took up the fighting ring as Jungkook studied, promising to take care of both of them one day.

When one-day talent scouts spotted Jungkook in the street, a fresh high school graduate full of energy, they whisked him away to cast him in a supportive role in an upcoming school drama. Though Jungkook wasn't interested, the pay was higher than what Jimin could earn through his fights and weekday bartending.

When he said that he'd do just one drama and go back to his studies, Jimin didn't see a reason to stop him. Jungkook was going to be famous, and it would bring good money. Poor Jimin didn't know what would entail afterward and surely wasn't ready.

Jungkook's drama has been a huge hit. He earned more fame than the lead role, that brought him more opportunities. The money helped them to move from the leaky shed they stayed to a rickety old apartment above the meat store.

It wasn't much. It just had one room with a kitchen and a bathroom. It was small. Two people couldn't fit into the kitchen without bumping into each other. The bathroom was too small and could accommodate only one person at a time. But it was enough.

They were happy and in love. So much in love, perhaps. Jungkook accepted the opportunities that came his way with an aim to help Jimin. Their lives got better, and they began to save for a better home. Something they could call their own and move to a better neighborhood.

Things were finally looking up, and Jimin had reduced the fights. It was great. When Jungkook wasn't shooting, they roamed the streets hand-in-hand, eating to their heart's content before returning to their room and making love all night. On rare weekends when he was home, they stayed in bed all day, watching something on their phones and kissing each other lazily or making out.

It was too good to be true. Jimin's heart was full of love, and Jungkook was just so sweet. But good things never last too long.

The film role was too good to say no to. The pay was better that any drama had ever offered. Not to mention it was a lead role.

"One movie, and we could get settled for our lives," Jungkook had announced with bright eyes glistening under the light.

However, he had to sign under an agency for that. They didn't know much about the contract and all the legalities. It was for five years and Jungkook didn't see any risk. They had nothing to lose and they had even paid half the salary in advance.

Their lives definitely changed after that. That movie was a huge hit, and they moved into an apartment in the heart of the city. Jungkook received more opportunities, which he accepted because the money was too good to say no to.

He began to travel often for shootings and was barely available at home anymore. Jimin stopped fighting and stayed home; taking care of everything because that was the only way he could spend more time with his boyfriend.

Their love was still the same, if not more. Jungkook showered him with priceless gifts and spoiled him rotten. "You wouldn't have to fight another day, hyung," he had said. "I'll take care of both of us. We will never run out of money again. We will always be warm in winter, and there will always be food in our kitchen."

Jimin had nodded happily, just content to be with Jungkook. He was content with their life as long as he had him. Nothing else mattered. He still visited his old friends when Jungkook was away for a shoot. Their relationship was a secret because it was bad PR, Jungkook's company had said.

It didn't matter to Jimin anyway. He was sickeningly, madly and deeply in love with Jungkook. And Jungkook loved him back. But Jungkook often took him along for his shoots and introduced him to others as his best friend. Jimin was once again happy, not bothered with any of that. He would spend his time watching Jungkook working or sleeping in his dressing room. Life was good.

Once again, all that shone wasn't gold. Jungkook's manager, for some reason, hated Jimin. Henry Li was all smiles in front of Jungkook, but in his absence, he never let go of a chance to remind Jimin where he came from.

One day, Jimin wore one of Jungkook's shirts. Poor Jimin didn't know it was a luxury brand or cost several thousands of dollars. It was a simple black shirt, and the material was too soft on his skin. Jungkook hadn't said a word when he came down to go to the shooting.

His manager wasn't kind though. Henry forced Jimin to remove the shirt immediately, calling him a filth who was unworthy of such luxury, reminding him not so kindly of his origins and why he didn't belong here, telling him Jungkook only had him here because he pitied him.

Jimin had tearfully removed the shirt and later lied to Jungkook, saying he spilled something on it. The taunts didn't stop there. The manager continued to scold him for everything and anything.

When Jungkook got out of the car first, Jimin always had to wait and go back later, so people didn't know they had come together. The manager used that chance to berate him for getting the car seats dirty. Jimin swallowed it all, taking it with a grain of salt as he continued to belittle him.

Jimin tried to tell Jungkook a few times, but the manager's dark warning had rendered him tongue-tied in front of him. "You see this, Jimin, this will last only as long as Jungkook is with the company. The company only cares about the money Jungkook brings in. One problem, and Jungkook is out. Then both of you will be out in the streets where you belong. If you don't want that, you will keep your mouth shut and stay away from him. This is for his own good."

Jungkook's happiness was important, and he couldn't afford to mess with his career. But he refused to leave Jungkook. He knew what the manager was trying to do. He continued to accuse him of holding Jungkook back, and kept taunting him that he was standing between Jungkook and his success. That Jungkook would get nowhere as long as he was with him.

This time, Jimin did try to tell Jungkook, but the younger one was constantly exhausted, overworking his bones, running from one schedule to the other. They barely had time to talk, and Jungkook often crashed as soon as he reached home. Jimin didn't have the heart to tell the exhausted boy and add more to his work stress.

Jungkook's success continued to grow not only in Korea but beyond. Unfortunately, the time they spent together continued to dwindle, and sex became almost non-existent. Still, they were happy. Happy to just see each other at the end of the day.

One day Jungkook was signed for a supportive role in one of the Hollywood action movies, and his fame skyrocketed. He had to travel often, and he couldn't bring Jimin with him this time because of some issues with the travel documents.

It was supposed to be Jimin's first trip outside of Korea. He was excited because he was never flown in a plane before. Jungkook would have to stay in the States for six months for training and such. So he had tried to take Jimin with him this time. Later Jimin would learn that the issue wasn't with his travel documents but with the manager who never processes his documents.

Not surprisingly enough, Jimin found himself locked out of Jungkook's apartment, forced to go back to his friends. The manager conveniently blocked any calls in and out. The time zone difference definitely played a role. It has been almost three years since then. Jungkook had also finished three more movies as the lead actor and also won the best actor award.

It hurt to see him kiss that actress on the red carpet, but it was expected though. Jimin didn't expect him to move on so quickly, but life changed people it seemed. Still he couldn't bring himself to blame or hate Jungkook.

He wanted to believe Seokjin's words. Wanted to believe Jungkook would come back to him. But he had nothing to offer.

He just didn't fit into Jungkook's life anymore. He glanced around his rickety apartment. The lights from the outside illuminated the dingy walls with Jungkook's pictures he collected over the years. It felt ironic to be back in the same place where it all began.

When Jimin returned with just the clothes, he was wearing and a wallet and phone on his back, his friends, allowed him to crash into their couch for the next month.

He stayed with them and ate at the bar while he waited for Jungkook to contact him. To say something. When the first month rolled into the second, Jimin knew he had to move on and couldn't hold onto the same hope anymore.

Jungkook always gave him wade of cash along with his card. He found out the card was conveniently blocked, and thankfully, he had the money to push him through. He was surprised to find their old apartment available for rent, the person occupying it had moved just a month ago.

It was funny how life had become. Jimin began to work for a company that did grout and tiles restoration. And occasionally when the pain in his chest got too much to bear, he went to the underground fight ring again to fight it out.

Reaching his bedroom, he carefully pasted the poster near the mirror, where he could see him every day. He traced Jungkook's face on the poster, smiling sadly.

There was nothing he could do to soothe the ache in his chest though. In the end, in the nothingness of the night, it was just him and the old bed with memories of them together. In a place where they first made love, he only had those sweet memories to hold onto.

Jimin smiled, ignoring the tears sliding down his cheeks as he glanced at the new poster among other pictures that decorated their wall, falling asleep eventually.