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Love lots, -AV

Scott was laying on the bunk in a solitary confinement cell. The warden had made it clear that this was not punishment, rather it was to keep Scott close by for observation due to his medication. Still the boy didn't like the deafening silence around him. He knew his cheeks were stained with tears but he wasn't sure when he had started to cry. He needed to talk to someone, he needed to ask if Avi was okay, he needed to Mitch to know he loved him. But right now none of those things were possible.

Eventually he rolled over and sleep took him. He woke up to Rashad shaking him. He groggily turned to face the man, weariness evident in his tired eyes. The warden helped him stand and together they made their way back to the infirmary. Neither talked, Scott just leaned heavily on the man so he wouldn't collapse in the hallway.

Rashad helped the boy get settled onto the gurney before he stepped back and allowed a nurse to enter. Scott was thankful that it was not the cranky woman from yesterday but a rather young man. He seemed more friendly than the previous nurse. That was until he made his first comment and Scott immediately wanted to take back all the nice thoughts he had about the man.

"Pardon me warden but it there a reason the prisoner isn't restrained?"

Scott ducked his head in embarrassment, Rashad stewed for a moment, staring at the young nurse before he responded.

"I understand you're new here but one of our biggest rules is our boys are not referred to as prisoners or inmates, they are residents. Also, I am the warden so I have final say in what goes on, and if I chose not to restrain a resident you can guarantee I have a damn good reason."

"I didn't mean any offense sir, but isn't this the same pris--uhh resident that knocked Jake out yesterday? Don't you think it's a bit irresponsible to not have him as least handcuffed?"

"He was having a panic attack yesterday. If I felt you or I were in danger he'd be cuffed and shackled. But I'm here and Scott isn't going to do anything. So now if you'll worry about doing your job and check him out. I have things to take care of."

The nurse eyed the older man for a moment before he took to taking Scott's vitals. After a few moments of never making eye contact with the teen, the nurse announced he was done and Scott was cleared to re-enter general population. The man left without any further interaction with Rashad or Scott.

When the door closed, the warden reached and placed a hand on Scott's shoulder, the boy looking up to meet his eyes with a watery smile.

"You have to ignore people and their idiocy Scott. He's new and doesn't understand."

"But he's right, isn't he? It doesn't matter what you call us, we're still technically convicts, inmates, prisoners, all of the above. Calling us something else doesn't change that."

"Do you know why we have that rule?"

Scott shook his head no before allowing the man to continue.

"It was put in place by my predecessor when I was just a guard here. When I asked why we did it he responded that it was because he didn't want to give any of the boys an inferiority complex. He didn't want them to think less of themselves because of where they are. He understood that people make mistakes but those mistakes don't define you. Scott, your mistakes don't define you. You have to understand that or else you'll never move past this point in your life. You may not see it but you have a very bright future ahead of you. Don't let what's happened up to this point dull that brightness."

"How do you know that though?" Scott's voice was heavy with emotion as he whispered.

"Because I just do. I'd like to think I'm good at reading people and I know that Amber believes in you. So does Kyle, Summer, and Sara-Beth, Danny, the Grassis, Kevin, Avi, Mitch... and me, I believe in you Scott. You'll make it, I know you will. Don't beat yourself up over this, okay?"

Scott replied with a weak "okay" but Rashad wasn't having it. He placed both hands on the boy's shoulders and looked him straight in the eye.

"No, promise me that you will not let this get you down. Swear to me you will work hard and build a life to be proud of."

"I promise I'll try."

Scott smiled genuinely at the warden before reaching to wipe the tears that were now pouring down his face. He never got to have deep conversations with his father, the man was never one to have heart-to-hearts. But Scott was sure that this was how they were supposed to feel. In that moment he couldn't stop himself as he throw his arms around the man and thanked him profusely.

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Mitch had been in the hospital for a few days. It seemed as if everyday was a repeat of the last, wake up, get force fed, puke, therapy, lunch, throw up, tutor, dinner, vomit, group session, bed. He was on a new cocktail of medication that seemed to be helping his anxiety and depression but nothing seemed to be working for his eating habits. The doctors always seemed to focus on this particular issue during sessions but Mitch couldn't even really explain what he was feeling.

He had been talking to Kirstie and to Kevin. Both of which assured him that they would visit as soon as he had been cleared to receive them. So far the only people he had been able to see were his parents and that did him no good. His mother would always end up in tears by the end of their short visits making him feel like a terrible person. Today had been one of those days. It was a Saturday. He should have been in Dallas with Scott but instead he was stuck in this room with the blue and yellow walls.

Group was to be held in his room tonight so after he had tidied up everything he sat and pulled out his phone, not surprised to see several messages from Kirstie, Jeremy, and Kevin.

Kevo: What is wrong with you?

Kevo: I get you're in the hospital but why aren't you writing Scott

Kevo: Avi said he's been out of his mind all week

Mitch sighed and moved on look at Kirstin and Jeremy.

J-man: Mitchy! You have got to write to Scott

J-man: He's completely distraught

J-man: I've never see him like this Mitch, it's bad

Now Mitch felt even more guilty.

KitKat: You're an idiot

KitKat: I hope you are aware of that

KitKat: A complete and total idiot and an asshole

KitKat: I know you're mad because Scott's the one who told on you but really Mitchell... what the fuck did you expect him to do? Let you cut again until you accidentally go too deep and bleed out again

KitKat: I know you want someone to be pissed at but damn Mitch, that boy's crazy about you

KitKat: Straighten your ass up, write him a letter, tell him you love him and you're not pissed anymore

Mitch sat and thought it over for a moment. He had a stack of unopened letters from Scott that had accumulated over the week. He got up from his couch and retrieved the stack before he opened the first one, dated Tuesday.

Mitchie,

Avi told me that Kev kind of spilled the beans to you about me letting Rashad know about the cutting. You have to believe me. I didn't do it to get you sent away. That is honestly the thing I want least right now.

I got myself taken away from you but at least you were still able to visit me, now you can't even do that. I'm going to miss you so much. I know those few hours every week aren't much but they mean the world to me and keep me going. They give me the strength to get through day after day in here.

Though I may not like that you can't come see me and I can't go see you, I know that this is for the best. Honestly Mitchie it is. It may not seem like it but it'll help you get better. I want you better babe. I want you happy and healthy.

I love you so much my baby boy,

Unconditionally,

Your Scottie 💙

For the first time since he'd been admitted, Mitch pulled out his stationary and began to write to his boyfriend.