Mister Bubbles wasn't big enough to carry more than one Troll on his back, so Poppy and Lavender decided to take the Caterbus Express to Ornery Grove. Riding with them were Barb, Val, and Holly while the rest of Poppy's friends were preparing for the Pop royal wedding.

"Ooh! I've never been on a Caterbus before!" Lavender said with excitement. "This is so much faster than a saddle spider!"

"And you can store your belongings up here," Holly said, opening a compartment above her seat. Inside was a gift basket filled with cookies, hair gel, fruits, chocolates, flowers, moisturizer, and scented candles. "Just a little somethin' for Poppy's groom-to-be."

"Wow!" Lavender exclaimed. "I would love it if someone gave me a gift like that! Or any gift at all, for that matter."

"Wait, no one has ever given you a gift?" Val wondered.

"Yeah, southern Pop Trolls aren't very affectionate," she admitted. "The only two exceptions I can think of are my mother and grandmother, but yeah. No one gives gifts to anyone. Not even for birthdays.

"That sounds really sad," Poppy sniffled.

"Oh, it's okay," Lavender assured her. "I can never think of anything I want and I already have everything I need. Except more food for the rest of Ornery Grove, but you can change that!"

"Speaking of which," Barb said, "tell us about your brother. With a sister like you, he must be a pretty sweet guy."

"Well, actually..."

"Welcome to Ornery Grove! Home of the rare silver-footed wasp beetle! Is it a wasp or is it a beetle? Or maybe a wasp-tle, if you will. Please don't stand until the bus has come to a complete stop."

"We're here!" Poppy gasped, feeling both excited and nervous. "I can't believe this is actually happening!"

"Relax, Popsqueak," Val replied, rubbing her shoulders. "I'm sure Branch is gonna love you. Maybe not enough to give you gifts, of course, but he'll think you're great."

Once the Caterbus stopped, the five Trolls stepped out of its mouth towards the gates of the southern Pop kingdom.

"Thank you again for choosing the Caterbus... EXPRESS... ess... ess... ess..."

💍💗💐🍾🥂🌹💍💗💐🍾🥂🌹

"Halt! Who goes there?!" shouted a guard at the top of the wall.

"Don't worry, Sal, it's just me!" Lavender answered. "And I brought some guests over!"

"Two of them are Hard Rock Trolls!" he pointed out.

"We're not here to rob you or destroy anyone's property!" Barb yelled.

"Yeah, what she said!" Lavender said.

"Very well," Sal replied, "but if I get reported, I'll be looking for you!"

Once the gates were opened, Poppy, Lavender, Barb, Holly, and Val made their way into the town where Pop Trolls were gathering wood, harvesting fruits and vegetables (or fighting over what was left of them), or selling and buying weapons and traps. Then, they all broke out into the weirdest song any of them heard.

I'll be the light when you can't see

I'll be the wood when you need heat

I'll be the generator

Turn me on when you need electricity

Something's 'bout to go down

I'll be the one with the level head

The world can end now

Baby, we'll be living in The Walking Dead

'Cause I got supplie-ie-ies

Oh-oh, oh-oh

Supplie-ie-ies

Oh-oh

I got you, I got supplie-ie-ies

Oh-oh, oh-oh

Supplie-ie-ies

Oh-oh

Ain't no need of stopping, girl

Can't nobody top it, girl

Ain't no better option, girl

Okay

Ain't nobody stopping, girl

This here when I drop in, girl

I work, work when I clock in, girl

Okay

"None of these Trolls act like you," Poppy said to Lavender.

"Yeah, my sparkle's a bit too sparkly for Ornery Grove," she admitted. "Well, I might as well give you guys the grand tour. Over there is the market, then the juice bar, that's where they throw a lot of poetry slams. On your left is the café, the blacksmith, the silversmith, the town healer, my friend Karma's house, and up ahead is home sweet home!"

"Lavender, your house is pretty awesome," said Val.

"Thanks!" she replied. "Branch normally hangs out in this bunker he built, but I can go get him so he can meet you guys."

"We'll be waitin'!" Holly called out as Lavender ran off. "He built himself a bunker? He must be very strong."

"He's probably dark and mysterious," Barb assumed.

"I bet his eyes sparkle," Val said dreamily. The others stared at her in surprise. Val's eyes widened once she realized what she said. "Uh, I mean... Yeah, that's cool. Whatevs."

Lavender skipped all the way to a boulder with a doormat that read "GO AWAY!" She knocked on the rock and said, "Oh, big brother! I have a surprise for you!"

"Oh, your highness!" a voice screamed in pleasure. Lavender pressed her ear against the ground to get a better listen. Once she realized what was happening, she got back on her feet and ran back to the others.

"He's gonna need five minutes," she told them.

"That's okay, Lavender," Poppy said. "To be honest, I'm still nervous about meeting him. I mean, in order to help my fellow Pop Trolls, I have to marry someone I don't even know and that terrifies me. I mean, what if we don't like each other? What if we have nothing in common? We could spend the rest of our lives together without ever saying a word to one another because we'll have nothing to talk about!"

"Worked for my parents," Barb muttered.

"Don't worry, Poppy. You and Branch will be very happy together," Holly attempted to reassure her. "Besides, all Trolls love music. You'll have that in common."

"Well," said Lavender, "the thing about my brother and music is-"

"Yeah, Popsqueak," Val interrupted. "The two of you can sing romantic power ballads to each other or maybe something wild for the heat of the moment. Hey, Lav, does your big bro have a falsetto or a roughness in his voice? Or does he have both?"

"No, but he goes to poetry slams every third Saturday," Lavender answered. "You should've heard the one about fall and the sun and... the bloom of... It was very hard to understand."

The girls' faces fell.

"Branch doesn't sing?" Holly asked in confusion. Before Lavender could answer, she saw a Troll with messy hair and sweat beads all over her forehead stepping out of Branch's bunker.

"Well, her sparkle's bright right now," Lavender muttered before running towards the bunker. Before the doormat, which was also an actual door, could slam shut, Lavender slid on the ground all the way to the bunker and used her foot to keep it open. The teenage princess grimaced in pain before the door opened back up and out popped up a gray face with black hair and icy blue eyes.

"You know most Trolls knock, right?" Branch asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I did knock, but all I got was an, 'Oh, your highness!'" Lavender reminded him. "And, uh, I just got back after a weeklong quest and you don't even give me a hug?"

Branch just rolled his eyes at his sister and said, "What do you want, Lavender?"

"I got great news for you!" she answered. "Time to get out of that dark, lonely man cave and start anew! You, dear brother of mine, are getting married!"

Branch's eyes widened in horror. "Holy hair, is Sierra... I never touched her!"

"Who's Sierra?" Lavender wondered.

"Look, maybe I can... Wait, this isn't about her?" Branch replied, feeling slightly relieved. "Then what makes you think I'm getting married?"

"Remember how the Great Hatching cut our food supply short?" Lavender asked. Branch nodded. "Well, the Pop Trolls on the north side of Rapid River have a predator problem. They said they'd do anything for our help and are willing to share their food with us if we teach them proper defense, but the Trolls around here are stubborn. So to ease their nerves, all you have to do is marry Princess Poppy and we'll all be friends again, just like we were all those years ago."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard," Branch denied.

"Come on, big brother!" Lavender said. "Our kingdom needs this! And you need to open your heart to other Trolls instead of making other Trolls open their legs for you."

"Okay, first of all, I don't make them, I ask politely and leave them alone if they say no," Branch explained. "Second, you know I don't like getting all touchy feely like you do."

"Oh, you do, just not emotionally," Lavender muttered.

"And third," Branch continued, "I don't have the time or patience to spend the rest of my life with some princess who can't protect her people or solve her kingdom's problems."

"I told you, they're willing to help us if we help them," she reminded him. "And Princess Poppy is actually a good Troll. She has a boyfriend but she's giving him up for this peace between both kingdoms."

"Well, tell her she doesn't have to," Branch insisted, "because I'm not marrying her and no one's gonna tell me I am."

With that, Branch closed the door and put the bunker on lockdown. Lavender turned around and noticed Poppy and the girls hiding in their own hair.

"I don't know about you guys, but I think he's cute," Holly said.

"Well, I guess we better go back and tell them the wedding's off," Poppy sighed sadly. Barb placed a hand on her shoulder as they began to walk away.

"Oh, this wedding's not off," Lavender said with confidence.

"Uh, Lav, weren't you listening to him?" Val asked. "He said no."

"Only to me," Lavender pointed out. Then, without warning, at the top of her lungs...

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!"

Sorry this took so long. I've been dealing with a lot lately.

Until next time. 🌈