Chapter 44 - Business as Usual

"I got the truth out of Caius. Can you tell me which level you would have put me in truthfully?" I ask at the beginning of my training the next morning.

"Level two," Felix answers with a regretful smile. I sigh. That's a lot closer to what I was expecting anyway. At the very least, I'm still glad I beat level one.

"Well, teach me as much as I'm allowed to learn, I guess. Please just tell me my actual level from now on so my progress doesn't feel so fake."

"That I can do."

* * *

I wait impatiently for my next couple classes to finish. Marcus is getting busier now, so the teaching role went back to the original teacher for new recruits. It's kind of a shame. It would have been nice to get some more one-on-one information from him about everything soulmate related. Caius and my disagreement last night continues to plague my mind into the afternoon. So much so, that the second my independent study time starts, I march up the spiraling staircase to Sulpicia's room. I'm dying to talk about everything with someone, and she's really the only one who would understand. The walls wrapping around the tower feel more and more suffocating amidst my growing frustration as I replay the argument in my head. By the time I reach her doors, I don't hesitate before knocking.

The doors open a moment later, revealing the familiar light-filled room. Sulpicia is already by the door waiting for me.

"Anna," she greets, "I could hear the distress in your footsteps from several floors down. Come in." She guides me to another room out of earshot from her bodyguards. "What's wrong?" she asks, gesturing for me to take a seat next to her on one of the sofas in front of what looks to be her own personal library.

"Caius," I admit, "He's driving me insane."

Her lips quirk in a knowing smile. "I figured," she says lightly, folding her hands in her lap. "What has he done?"

"I went to watch the level seven training class last night, the same level I was told I was at, just to see that they're way more advanced than I am. I confronted Caius about it and he said he doesn't want me to train past a certain, lowlevel, so he made Felix lie about my level so I assumingly wouldn't suspect anything when Felix eventually tells me he has nothing more to teach me," I let the words tumble out.

Sulpicia tilts her head, her brows knitting together. "Caius told you this?"

"I had to drag it out of him, but yeah," I say, shaking my head. "He said I should be happy he even agreed to let me train at all. He said he doesn't want to risk losing me, but it doesn't make sense. I have my shield. Nothing can hurt me thanks to the control I have over it now. Even if something could, you'd think better training means I'd be safer, right? He has to already know that, but he still refuses to let me train properly."

Her expression softens, but there's a flicker of something in her eyes. Understanding, or maybe even pity. "I can't say I'm surprised about the training, but Caius has never been one to admit to fear. You may not see it now, but that's a massive step for him, and possibly for you."

"A step to what?" I ask.

Sulpicia leans back slightly, her fingers brushing the fabric of her dress as she considers her next words. "Caius is controlling. All three of them are. You're more indestructible now than you've ever been, Anna, but your near-death was only a few short days ago. Caius's emotions are likely still clouded by that, and they will be for a while. He, Aro, and I all saw how Marcus changed after the death of his wife. Caius knows the state of mind that would have awaited him if you were to have died. The soulmate bond isn't something to be taken lightly. It would have ruined him."

I try to think about how I would feel if Caius died, and an immediate, heavy panic overtakes me. I guess the only difference is that I'm confident I can protect us, and everyone else now, preventing that from ever happening. "So what do I do? Just let him dictate what I am and am not allowed to do for the rest of my life?"

Sulpicia's lips press into a thin line, her expression thoughtful. "No," she says finally, her gaze sharpening with a slight hint of mischief dancing in her eyes. "You still have time to convince him before you reach the end of the training Felix is allowed to give you, right? But if he still refuses, sometimes it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission."

I blink, surprised by her words.

"Since you've gotten here, you've had more confidence to push back on their orders than I've ever had. And you're Caius's soulmate. That has already brought you immunity that no one else here could ever dream of. Caius's fear is blinding him, but that doesn't mean you should let his fear blind you as well. If you believe you need this training, then there has to be a way to make it happen."

"Hmm..." I think, but how? I could never ask Felix to go against Caius's orders. "Thank you Sulpicia. I guess I have a lot to think about."

She reaches out, placing a hand over mine before guiding me back to the doors. I feel a new sense of determination, but I'm still not exactly sure what to do with it. For the time being, I'll train business as usual. Felix said he'd be transparent about my true level. Maybe by the time he says I've reached my limit, I'll have a plan in mind like Sulpicia suggested. Although, I really don't want to go behind Caius's back. I don't even know if I could, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I'm just hoping that I'll be able to get him to change his mind before then.

* * *

Thankfully Antonio's Italian lesson raises my spirits a bit before my next progress meeting. I go through the motions sharing my progress with the three of them as Caius and I both seem to be trying to hide our lingering emotions from last night. At the same time though, it's as if there's a magnetic force ignoring any tension between us that only makes me want to wrap myself in his arms again. He's the reason I'm upset, but conflictingly he's also still the only one I want comforting me while I'm upset.

I don't want things to be tense between us, I think, frowning as the meeting ends and Aro and Marcus leave. Caius seems to have the same idea, because he stays planted to his seat right next to me.

"I let anger get the better of me yesterday," he says when Aro and Marcus are out of earshot. "For that, I apologize."

I blink, caught off guard. "But you won't take back your decision," I say, trying to keep my tone steady.

He lifts his eyes to meet mine. "No," he says softly. "Please trust that I understand your desire to train like the other members of the guard." He hesitates. "Caring about someone the way I care about you is still completely new to me. I'm well aware that you don't find any of this logical, but it's the option that leaves me with the most peace of mind right now. It's too soon to imagine you needing to prepare for another battle."

I sit with his admission for a moment. Sulpicia basically said that even admitting his fears like this was out of character for him. I don't want to be indifferent to what seems to be progress, but I also don't want him to think I'm okay with just obeying his every order, especially ones that won't do me any good.

"Thank you. I still don't really understand how the whole 'soulmates' thing works, but the universe knew we were both stubborn when it made the match. You know I'm not the type to lie down and obey orders without question," I start, "Is it wrong for me to expect a partnership between us rather than a power imbalance?"

He shuts his eyes. "Please don't think this is about power, Anna," he says quietly. "One thing you should understand about the soulmate bond is that I take your life more seriously than anything else in my existence. Your presence alone strengthens the Volturi. Your shield is invaluable. Aro and Marcus also expect you to be fully trained..." he trails off. My eyes widen.

"Then I'll have to be fully trained eventually, right?"

"They will follow my decision about this," he says, opening his eyes again. His hand lifts to my cheek, the tips of his fingers light against my skin. It takes all my strength not to melt into him right there. "But I agree. You are stubborn, and I can't imagine you any way else," his says, his lips twitching into the faintest hint of a smile. "It keeps things interesting." I keep my eyes on him expectantly.

He sighs again, letting his hand fall back to his side. "We'll revisit this," he says reluctantly. "But for now, I need time to get used to the idea of it. Please."

It's a step, at least. "For now," I echo, nodding.

With a soft smile, he pulls me into a tight embrace. I let myself rest against him and savor the moment I've been craving. "Will you do me the honor of accompanying me back to our quarters?" he asks between planting kisses onto my neck.

"It would be my pleasure," I giggle softly, my lips brushing against his hair.

* * *

The next morning I'm on my way out of our quarters into the hall when I notice an envelope taped to the door. Inside there's a card that has been decorated by Emily, no doubt.

Dear Anna,

I heard you're a vampire now! I know it must have hurt but I'm glad you're like me again! I'm back in school now that my Christmas vacation is over. I miss vacation. I played with my friends a lot. Raphael already said you're still recovering but we'll be having my play soon! He said you might not be able to make it. Don't worry if you can't make it. I love you and I miss you and I hope you'll be okay soon!

Love, Emily

Tucked inside the card is a school-made invite that Emily's teacher must have sent out to all the students' parents. I miss Emily and I really want to go. Would it be okay? I reach in my pocket for my phone to text Raphael.

"Hey Raphael, I got the note from Emily. Is it really okay if I see the play?"

A minute later, he replies,

"There'll be no humans here, so you're more than welcome to come if you think the drive here will be okay. There's something I'd like to discuss with you in person too if you can make it. Otherwise I can stop by to visit you again."

The drive there... I don't know how sensitive the scent of humans will be on the road, but I can feed before leaving, and then hold my breath. I can even hide my eyes under my robe in case the sight of a human tempts me. Thinking about it, it might be better to bring someone along who can stop me if needed.

"I'll try to be there!" I finally message back.

"I'll save you a seat :) ," he replies.