Chris Donovan vs. Shane Lewis

Pix of the sexy Damon, on the side.

Enjoy!

***

"Are you okay?" Shane finally asked quietly.

Chris nodded and cleared his throat. "I'm fine." He said quietly.

"Please sleep here tonight." Shane pleaded softly.

"I have to go to work tomorrow. I have a meeting early in the morning." Chris murmured.

"You're the owner, Chris. You can be late." Shane made a conscious effort to keep the whining out of his throat. Then he completely ruined his accomplishment by whining... "Please." Then without waiting for Chris' response, Shane moved to place his head on Chris broad hairy chest loving the feel of the soft hair beneath his cheek. He sighed in contentment when he felt Chris' arms wrap around him.

When Chris heard Shane's soft even breathing, he pressed a kiss on his head and allowed himself to think of what had taken place. If someone had told him two months earlier that he would be on his knees in front of a man, sucking him off and actually loving it, he would have probably given that person a dirty slap. But it had happened. And it had been hands-down his most exhilarating experience. What shook Chris was how much he'd loved doing what he'd done to Shane. But beneath all the feeling of contentment and exhilaration was a feeling of uncertainty and restlessness. He'd been determined to give Shane pleasure and he'd achieved his goal if Shane's reaction was anything to go by. But he couldn't help but feel Shane might see him in a different light. Would he respect him in the morning? Did Shane attach any importance to what was going on between them? Chris couldn't help but remember what Shane had said about his hand-job and phone sex. Though he knew Shane had been angry and had even apologized and said he hadn't meant what he said, just thinking of it hurt like hell. Chris couldn't help but feel Shane was merely having fun and was probably not attaching much importance to it as Chris himself was. Was it possible that he was opening himself up to be hurt by Shane?

Chris never thought he would admit it but he wanted Shane in a way he'd never wanted anyone. He wanted to be with him body and soul. His heart beat faster anytime thoughts of Shane intruded...it felt like his life revolved around Shane. Chris was powerless to stop how he felt. Suddenly Shane had become his world. He was the first thing Chris thought about when he woke up and the last thing he thought about before he slept. He wanted to be with Shane all the time, thought about him whenever he wasn't near, lusted after his hot body and literally didn't want to go a day without seeing the man. Chris didn't really know exactly when it happened but...Shane had become his life. The thought of being used therefore unsettled and shook him. Did the other man feel what he felt? Or was it just sex and fun for him?

Chris couldn't sleep. He felt vulnerable, needed to be reassured that he wasn't being stupid, needed to know that he wasn't in this alone, needed to know that Shane felt the same way. The tension within Chris was intense and kept building up by the minute. He couldn't help but wonder whether that was how women felt when they let themselves go and don't receive any reassurance from their men. It was such a shitty feeling. Suddenly, Chris groaned, remembering... The way he felt must be nothing compared to how Shane must have felt when he received blows, after giving the boy he loved and thought loved him back, pleasure. How about the cruel words he'd flung at Shane all those years ago? Had Shane even believed him when he said he hadn't meant them? If he expected Shane to believe that he hadn't meant those hurtful words, then he might as well believe Shane when he said he hadn't meant what he'd said about their sexual encounters in his office...right?.

"Fuck!" Chris swore. Was he ever going to get over what he'd done to Shane?

Chris turned to look at the clock on his side of the bed. It said two, twenty-three a.m. Chris carefully disentangled himself from Shane's embrace and got out of bed. Then he started dressing up quietly. When he was done, he bent down to press a kiss to Shane's cheek and turned to leave.

"Drive carefully." He heard Shane say quietly behind him.

Chris turned and went back to the bed. Then he sat on the edge of the bed beside Shane and gathered Shane into his arms for a tight hug. Then without a word, he left.

***

Chris woke up to the beeping of his phone, indicating that he had a message.

Shane: Are u up?

Chris: Just did. Sleep well?

Shane: Couldn't. My bed still smells of u.

Chris: Do I smell that bad?

Shane: Lol! That's not what I meant and u know it.

Chris: Do I? [straight faced smiley]

Shane: Yep. Your scent made me wish you were in bed with me. Did u sleep well when u got home? I noticed that u tossed and turned the whole night...

Chris: I slept just fine.

Shane: May I call u?

Chris stared at his phone for a moment, and then dialed Shane's number.

"Is everything alright?" Shane asked immediately he picked up. Somehow he couldn't help but notice a strain within Chris.

"Yes." Chris said. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know. I just..."

"What?" Chris' voice was low.

Shane sighed. "Never mind. Let me allow you to get ready. What time is your meeting?"

"I'm going to be in meetings from eight a.m. to noon." Chris informed Shane. "How about you? Have a busy day ahead?"

"Not really. I do have a meeting with Damon this morning. The rest are not so important."

"Okay. Have a lovely day then." Chris said quietly.

"You too."

"Catch you later." Chris said and then hung up.

Shane stared at his silent phone, wondering what was going on. Chris sounded distant...seemed to be withdrawing and Shane could feel it. Had he done something wrong, Shane wondered as his heart pounded. Was Chris regretting what had happened between them? Was he perhaps angry because he hadn't returned the favour? Shane didn't know what to think. But he knew one thing for sure... He couldn't stand the thought of Chris withdrawing from him. He wasn't going to let that happen. He needed to talk to Chris.

***

Shane stared at the bowed head of Damon, wondering what was going through the man's head. They had just finished their meeting which had taken place in Shane's office. It had been between just the two of them and they'd covered everything on the agenda. But though the meeting had come to an end, it was obvious Damon still had something on his mind. It was also obvious that whatever he wanted to say, he was having difficult spitting it out. When Shane felt he couldn't take the silence any longer, he cleared his throat and spoke.

"Err...Damon?"

"Shane?" Came Damon's gruff tone.

"What is it?"

Damon raised his head and looked right at Shane with worried blue eyes. "Listen, I know this is none of my business but...could you please go easy on Chris?"

"What?" Shane whispered, looking at Damon with confusion and incredulity in his beautiful eyes. "Did he say I did..."

"He hasn't said anything, Shane." Damon said, cutting Shane off. "Actually, I've been waiting for him to say something but he hasn't. And he spends all his time with you now so I don't get to really talk to him as I would have wished." Damon raked his fingers through his hair, showing how frustrated he was.

"So if he hasn't said anything, why would you..."

"I know my friend, Shane." Damon started in a somewhat cold voice. "I know the two of you go way back but..." Damon shrugged, "with all apologies, you've been apart for a very long time so you don't know the kind of person he is now."

"I'm sorry Damon but Chris and I understand each other." Shane's voice had gone equally cold. "We are both old enough to know what we want. I'll agree with your first words...what we do is none of your business." Shane stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me..."

"Shut the fuck up and listen to me." Damon growled, shocking Shane so much, Shane's jaw dropped. "Chris is my friend and I care about him. You don't know the kind of man he is now. He's a very noble and decent person but he's also a very proud successful young man. Calling him out at that meeting as if you were talking to a small child was not a good thing. No one talks to Chris like that." Damon got to his feet then and stared Shane down. "I know he wronged you. I know what he did was terrible and totally awful. And you might feel he deserves to be punished or even mistreated as payback. I mean the guy probably feels too guilty to fight back, right? But trust me Shane, he's been punished enough. You were not the only person who had to live with what he did. It's affected his life too you know." Damon took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck! Do you know he actually tried to kill himself when he came back to his senses and realized what he'd done to you?" Damon rasped.

"What?" Shane whispered, feeling his heart beat accelerate.

"Uh-huh." Damon nodded his head. "When he left you in his room that night, he ran to his dad's study, grabbed his gun and run into the woods to shoot himself."

"Oh my God!" Shane's voice shook.

"Fortunately, the gun was empty. He only got to know it was actually empty when no bullet came out after he'd shot at his own head. Twice."

"Oh fuck!" Shane lost all feeling in his leg and sat heavily in his chair. "I didn't know that." He whispered.

"And I bet he hasn't told you how he looked for you when he was old enough to but you were nowhere to be found..." Damon looked down at Shane as the other man shook his head slowly, indicating that he didn't know Chris had looked for him. "Well, now you know." Damon gave a deep sigh. "He's had to live with that guilt for all these years. Have any idea what it feels like to live with that kind of guilt? It eats you up...destroys you. Cut him some slack, Shane. That's all I ask." With that Damon turned and left Shane's office.

Shane stared after Damon till the door shut behind him. Then it really hit him just how close he'd come to really losing Chris. He remembered checking that gun out with Chris several times as his father had almost always been absent. That gun had always been loaded and Chris knew it. Chris had actually taught Shane how to load a gun in that study, just as his father had taught him. They would take out the bullets and reload...timing themselves the whole time to see who was faster. It was a miracle the gun had been empty that day of all days and Shane felt an intense wave of gratitude pass over him. Shane clearly remembered that a few days to that horrible day, Chris' dad had told Chris sternly not to play in his study. The old man must have noticed the two boys were spending time in his study, probably playing with his gun, and unloaded it. Christ!

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck." Shane chanted as he stood up on his shaky legs and reached for his car keys. He suddenly needed to see Chris so bad.

***

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