"It's clean, you know."

Gabriel's comment caught me off-guard. I'd hardly noticed him sitting in the living room when I came in, still rubbing sleep out of my eyes. The smell of chicory coffee turned my empty stomach; he brewed his strong and dark. I stopped when he spoke and tried to impart at least a hint of anger in my countenance, for Odette's sake. But he looked damn good today.

"Your apartment," he clarified. Oh. My heart sank a bit. I hadn't thought about it, nor had he mentioned it since he had me all but pinned against the wall—the absolute last thing I wanted to be picturing in that moment.

"I see."

"I can take you over later if you'd like to look at it." Leaning back against the counter, he seemed at ease. He was the calm version of himself again today, at least for the time being. The tiredness that had been etched into his face and weighing down his shoulders when he came the other night seemed to have lifted. His muscles rippled beneath a thin sweater and his hair was tied half-up. It was my favorite way he wore it—part tame, out of his face, but still wild. Just like him.

"I can walk. Or have Ephraim take me," I said. "I don't want to trouble you."

"I'll take you this evening when you get off." He took his steaming mug and left the room, apparently disinterested in entertaining any further discussion on the matter.

The looming threat of being alone once again with Gabriel had me on edge all day, watching the clock as though I was waiting for something much, much worse than a short car ride. I envisioned myself standing in the middle of the apartment, telling him that I would stay. I'd pack my things and move back in and that would be the end of it. If I pictured it hard enough, and wanted it bad enough, maybe I could manage to be strong when it came time to say the words for real.

But the guesthouse was furnished and comfortable and had a much better view. I didn't have to trek two miles to get to work, nor did I have to wait for twenty minutes for the shower to heat up when I came back freezing cold.

And the guesthouse was close to Gabriel.

I'd be lying to myself if I said that wasn't a factor. I'd tried, but my gut wasn't buying it. Even when I called to mind Odette's hurt, tear-soaked face, it wasn't enough to dissuade me. I was ashamed by that. But when he'd shown up on the doorstep the other night, some part of my resolve had broken. I knew full well that it was unlikely to happen again, but if I went back to the apartment, that slim chance became non-existent.

Despite my attempts to find extra work to do or to convince Ephraim to keep me late, Gabriel knocked on the door of the medical room a mere five minutes after my usual departure time.

"I wouldn't keep him waiting," Ephraim teased. He knew I was nervous; my anxious energy had been irritating him all day.

"I can drive if you want." I hurried to catch up to him as I pulled my coat on. It hadn't snowed since the day before so the roads would still be clear, but with Gabriel behind the wheel the trip would still take twice as long. He ignored my offer and trudged ahead, opening the passenger side door and standing beside it. Impatient, as always.

When he squeezed himself into the driver's seat beside me, I felt his heat hit the left side of my body with a rushing intensity that felt like a gust of wind. I shifted to my right and tried to make myself small, to give him space. He'd pushed his sleeves up to his elbows and his forearm flexed as he put the car in drive. Don't stare. I trained my eyes on the dash instead.

We passed through town slowly and in silence, and with every minute I grew increasingly thankful that their settlement wasn't more than ten miles from one end to the other. Even still, the mere thought of making the drive back had staying in the apartment sounding better and better. The tension in the car—between us, around us—was almost more than I could bear, so palpable on my skin that I could feel it pressing into me.

It was pulling me in two, this indecision. This divide between the parts of me that feared him, and the parts of me that were drawn to him. Since the Alpha gathering it had left me feeling restless and frustrated. I felt that I was coming to the high edge of a precipice, its sheer rocky face stretching down and down further than I could hope to see. My growing anxiety should have been a warning to turn back before I reached it at all.

"Come on." Gabriel had parked and climbed out of the car and opened my door while I was lost in my head but his voice quickly brought me back to earth.

Inside, the damp smell of mold had been replaced by the sharp, artificial lemon scent of cleaning supplies. Gabriel was visibly repulsed when the harsh chemicals burned his nose and throat with every breath.

Except for the cleaning, the apartment remained unchanged. The sparse furnishings were right where I'd left them, though it seemed that the cleaners had taken the liberty of throwing out my coffee table crate. Paint still peeled off the corners of the kitchen cabinets, and the carpet was still a dingy gray, if maybe a few shades lighter. But I can work with it. It was livable. The mold issue had been abated. I could buy furniture, maybe put down some throw rugs over the carpet.

"It looks better," I tried. It did, in a way. If I squinted.

Gabriel sniffed. "Hardly."

I walked down the hall and he followed, obviously uncomfortable in the tight space. The bathroom was the biggest improvement, and although the shower pan was still stained by rusty water, I at least wouldn't cringe stepping onto its surface with bare feet.

"You couldn't walk to work from here." Gabriel mused from the doorway. "You'd need to buy a car." He was giving me excuses and I wanted to take them. My gut wanted me to take them. I turned away, pretending to examine the shower once more while I took a quiet moment to listen to my intuition. Nothing inside me wanted me to move back here, clean or not.

"Ephraim could drive me until I got a car."

"You'd need a new mattress." He had moved to peer into the bedroom.

"I mostly sleep on the futon, anyway." I wasn't sure why I was pushing back, really. Maybe some part of me wanted to test him, to see if he would say that he wanted me to stay in the guesthouse. He wouldn't, of course, but I'd accept his negativity about the apartment as close enough.

"That futon?" He eyed it apprehensively.

I sighed. "You win. It's a dump."

"Pack the rest of your things."

I did as I was told. Given that I hadn't ever fully unpacked to begin with, the task was quick and too soon we were back in the car. The sun had set and the streetlights did little to cut through the blackness. Just as the sky, Gabriel's mood was darkening by the minute, the muscles in his jaw working as he ground his teeth together quietly. He was beginning to get agitated, just as he always seemed to when we were together for more than a few minutes.

I tried to think of anything I'd done or said to set him off, but there was nothing to recall. I wasn't moving back, I was staying in the guesthouse. Was that not what he wanted?

Desperate for clarity, I tried once more to give him an out: "I can move back there. It really isn't that bad now, I don't mind it."

His wolf's low growl shut me up.

Back in his driveway, he was leaning over the trunk lifting my suitcase out before I could even get my seatbelt off.

"I can get that," I offered as I scrambled to get out of the car. He slammed the trunk shut, hard, and stalked off toward the path that led around the side of his house. The whiplash of his mood swing tightened my chest and brought tears to burn in the corners of my eyes. I chased after him but his long strides had already carried him halfway across the yard and I struggled to keep my footing on the icy gravel.

"Hey!" I yelled finally. Gabriel didn't turn but stopped in place, so I jogged to catch up then stepped around him to block his way forward. "I'll take it."

"Go inside." His expression was unreadable. As hard as I searched, I could find no emotion there.

"Just fucking give that to me." I reached for the handle of the suitcase but he jerked it back out of my reach before our hands could touch. When I met his eyes defiantly, his were cold and hard. They had darkened significantly, no longer pale blue. I tried again: "Leave it and go."

"Move," he growled. The threatening tone of his voice raised the hair on the back of my neck, but anger overtook my good sense and I shook my head. Instead of staying to argue, Gabriel pushed past me and moved to the porch of the guesthouse. Standing under the light, he turned back and waited, scowling.

I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. "I'm not staying here."

"Yes you are."

"I'll walk back if I have to, I don't want to be within a hundred yards of you!" I spat the words, hoping hurling insults at him would quell my anger. If anything, it made me burn even hotter.

He dropped the suitcase onto the porch with a loud thud that made me flinch and advanced toward me quickly. My blood, once boiling, froze solid in my veins when I saw the look on his face as he approached: pure, primal rage. I'd pushed him too far, and he'd finally snapped.

I stumbled backwards away from him, nearly losing my balance and falling onto the wet ground but he caught me by my upper arm. Instead of letting go once I'd righted myself, he held firm with an iron grip.

"Let me go," my voice shook now, against my will. My whole body shook with it.

"Quit talking, quit moving. Just stand fucking still."

In the span of a breath, Gabriel closed the last few inches of distance between us then all at once, his lips were pressed against mine. It felt like I suddenly woke up, my body and my senses springing to life under his touch. His grip on my arm softened and he pulled me closer to him, inhaling me deeply as though this would be the last breath he'd ever take. Everything else fell away: my anger, my fear. There was only us and the deep, satisfied growl of his wolf rumbling in his throat.

I raised a hand to touch his face, to pull him even tighter against me, but he froze when my fingertips grazed his cheek. He stiffened, every muscle in his body going rigid before he pulled away. His chest heaved. Without another word, he released my arm and disappeared into the woods, leaving me alone in the dark with lightning dancing across my skin.