James' POV

Before going over to Alex's house as planned, I decide to head towards the pack first, Cody's retreating figure in the distance, catching my attention as I go to turn towards the North west side of Kaulike.

  As hard as I try to entertain myself with other thoughts and ideas, my mind keep coming back to that weird feeling of connection, the faint spark I felt in the cafeteria.

  'Was it a spark or a little bit of indigestion?' Sloan remarks chuckling to himself.

   'Come on, Sloan you're telling me that you didn't feel it?' I ask my wolf as I walk down the street, passing by the bridge that leads towards the north part of the city where the Faerie Kingdom lies, out near the outskirts of the maze like city streets.

   'Sorry, but you're going to have to get someone else to entertain your delusion.' He tells me, nodding as if sympathetic but I scoff and ignore him. Ever since we were younger Sloan always gets a kick out of messing with me. I don't blame him though. If anything I'm grateful that he didn't hate me and pass on like some wolves do.

  I shake my head of the memories and the feelings they bring up, instead deciding to shift into my wolf form, hoping the run will quell my restless thoughts. I feel my limbs get longer and bones start to shift, the sound unsettling to new ears, though nothing but white noise for me as my fangs grow and hair erupts around my body. By the time I'm done shifting, I'm already moving, running through the last stretch of neighborhoods before the turn off for my pack comes, over 20 miles of woods surrounding both our pack and our Sister pack as well as around the entire eastern part of the city.

    I jog along the beaten path, the scents of other wolves entangled with the smell of oncoming rain in the evening. The quiet thumping of my paws hitting the earth comfort me and quiet the noise inside my head, though the image of curly hair and glasses can't seem to escape me.

   It's only take me five minutes to arrive at the pack house, the biggest and main house in the pack, half for business and the other for residence. It was built like a cabin, naturally with the woods we inhabited, and while the second and third floors were for pack meetings and all type of pack related business, on the higher floors, unmated, Scorned Mates and orphans live there. And of course the first floor and basements are all for both business and pleasure.

   Most Scorned wolves, those who were rejected by their Mate for an inject reason end up leaving the pack to join the rouges, grief, and anger driving them out, but the ones that choose to stay, come here. It was where Alex and Bri had been living here last year until Alex finally became old enough to take over the house that his family had built.

   I walk into the Pack House, greeting the other wolves as they call out their hellos to me, their smiles warm and genuine as I walk in, something I pride myself in.

   Not wanting to talk much, I hurry through the massive multipurpose room towards the stairs where I make my way up towards Zee's office. The first door on the left is open, the wolf biting the cap of a pen as she stares at the computer screen, mumbling to herself incoherently.

   Zee has been in my life longer than Alex himself. Just like Alpha and Beta positions, the Elders pass their knowledge and positions down to their heirs. The type is work and training it requires though is different, and since Zee is a year older than me and already graduated high school, we haven't seen much of each other. But when we were kids, we would spend most of the day complaining about and making fun or our families, annoyed with their expectations of perfection and power.

   We aren't as close now, and Heaven knows I wouldn't dare breath an ill word about my father here, but it's always nice to be around her. It feels comfortable. Like I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. I don't even feel that way with Alex sometimes.

   "Hey, Zee, what's up?" I ask, dropping into one of her chairs across from her desk.

   She turns towards me with her best unimpressed face and pulls the pen cap from her lips. "Hello, James, what do you want?" She asks me and I gasp, offended as I press a hand to my chest in mock shock.

   "Whatever would make you assume that I want something?" I ask her innocently, not appreciating the assumption, no matter how true it is.

    "Because the only time I don't have to track you down and force you to attend meetings and do your paperwork is when you want something. So what do you want?" She repeats and I scowl at her lightly, betrayed she would decide to call me out the way she has.

   "Fine. I need you to get some files ready for me. Any files you have on Cody's parents and their mental health records I need printed and waiting." I tell her, but she frowns and studies me.

   "And why are you the one getting these files. And what for?" She asks me without moving a music and I sigh, knowing that she isn't going to indulge me unless I tell her the why.

   "They are for a project that Cody has for his Mental Health class. I wanted to help out by having them ready." I explain to her plainly, but I avoid her eyes, knowing that her intense gaze is always anyones undoing.

   "Why?" She asks me again, and I cuss at her favorite question, feeling ridiculous over my answer.

   'You should be. You're already obsessing over this boy and you didn't even know his name a few hours ago. You look a mess.' Sloan scolds me, but of course I ignore him.

   "I just want to learn more about him, Zee. I'm curious. I don't know... I just... when I saw his earlier, it felt like a spark, you know? And I know he's not eighteen yet but I couldn't help but wonder if maybe..." I trail off, my ears on fire, too embarrassed to continue. To my surprise moments later I hear a sigh of defeat before she turns back towards her computer.

   "Names?"

   "Garret and Janet." I tell her, thankful for the information Alex gave me, thinking about how I can repay him for it. But Zee freezes, turning back to look at me, her gaze sharp.

   "James, you're sniffing around Janet's boy? Casey's little brother?" She asks me as if the names should be familiar but a lot of my childhood that isn't training or my father feels fuzzy to me. Unreachable and unclear. All of my memories almost strangers to me.

    "What's the big deal?" I ask her, not wanting to come off like a dick but also not understanding.

   "He's been through so much already, James. He's completely different than the kid I used to play with. Casey was my best friend. I know exactly how much that incident hurt him. The last thing he needs is this extra attention and interest all do you to throw him away and toss him to the side when he's not your Mate." She tells me, and I see unshed tears enter her eyes at the mention of her friend. I vaguely see the face of hazel eyes and crazy curly dark hair and a laugh that could light up a room. But the fog in my brain stops me from seeing it all, so my grief is shallow, and it's all that I have to give. It doesn't feel like enough.

   "I'm not going to toss him around, Zee." I try to defend, but before I can continue she shakes her head.

   "And what about Jessica? The girl you've been dating? I'm surprised she didn't walk with you home." I groan as I let my head fall onto the back of the chair, regret passing through me at the idea of Jess waiting for me just to realize that I left already.

    "She's different." I try to tell her but she shakes her head again as the papers start to print out on the other side of her office.

   "Because she, in contrast, knows that it's coming eventually?" She questions, but before I can answer, she's standing up to go towards the printer and leaf through the documents. After checking them, she placed them in a fresh manila folder before writing Cody's name on the tab. She placed it on the edge of her desk and sit back in her chair, looking to me again.

    "I love you like my brother James, but that means I know you that well too. You can't lie to me. But more importantly you have to let yourself stop lying to yourself. The last thing Cody needs is to be abandoned and strung along and the same could be said for Jessica. I know I can't control you, but make sure that you're doing the right thing, James." She tells me, and I can tell that it's a dismissal from the way she turn towards her computer and continues the work I interrupted.

   With no response to give, I get up and leave, my thoughts whirling in my head over the fact that Zee just tried to set me straight.

   'Its nice to know I'm not the only one that sees the mess that is you.' Sloan muses.

   'You talk a lot of shit for someone that can't watch a Tinkerbell Movie without crying.' I snicker and while he cusses me out I make my way towards Alex's house, Zee's words boucing around in my mind.

   When I get there, I notice that the grass isn't cut, the mailbox is broken, and the house hasn't been cleaned since the last pollen season.

   The beautiful house that was my safe haven is growing old and starting to lose the love and charm thag brought it to life in the first place. My heart squeezes at the sorry state of it as I climb the stairs and knock on the door twice before trying the knob, twisting it when I find it unlocked.

   "Yo, Alex, it's me." I call out into the house, trailing down the hallway, the family pictures from three years ago, the last ones that they took.

   "In the living room." I hear just as I come around the corner into the massive room, the fireplace empty and barrens as it has been for the past three years. "What's up, man?" I find Alex sprawled on the couch, book laying across his chest as he looks over at me, the slight bags under his eyes proof that he's still not okay.

   "Nothing. I just came to hang out and see how you were doing. I know you've missed Bri this year." I say to him, going to sit in one of the recliners along the opposite wall, giving me a good look into the overgrown front yard.

   "Yeah, she graduated a year early last year and went all the way to California. I know she said that it's because she wants to advocate for Supers  and all marginalized groups world wide so that we can all have equality. I know that that's supposed to be a beautiful selfless thing. So why do I feel like she did all she could to leave me behind and get away from me?" He asks me, his voice low as he stares up at the ceiling, but I don't judge.

   We've seen each other cry and break down way too many times to do anything other than just sit here and be here for one another.

  "I get it. Even though she's adopted, she was a reminder of your parents. The things they believed in and fought for. And now she's gone. A year earlier than you thought and half a continent away. I'm sorry man." I tell him, wishing that I could do something to help bring the spark back to my friend.

   For a while we just sit there and talk. Him telling me about the things he still misses about his parents, how he still has nightmares, and how Brianna used to sing to make him feel better. His little big sister he sometimes called her, though he would never admit to Bri herself just how much Alex really relies on her. He said he doesn't want her getting a big head but I think it's because he doesn't want to add another burden to her already tired shoulders.

   The conversation is nice and I find myself relaxing for the first time in a while, happy that Alex and I can talk about these things without fear of being told we're weak or being ridiculed.

  Just as I'm finally allowing myself to fully relax, my phone starts ringing, interrupting our recount of the first time we met, Alex struggling to speaks through his laughter as I fish myself phone out of my pockets.

  When I see the name that flashes across the screen my face immediately falls, all trace of humor and amusement sucked out of my and replaced by mind numbing anxiety. My heart starts to pound and I motion for Alex to be quiet and answer the phone, his laughter instantly stilling once he sees the hand signal we invited ten years ago. I swallow thickly as I raise the phone towards my ear. 

   "Hello, James, this is your Father. I told you I would be back today. You've kept me waiting." Is all that's said before the call is dropped and I'm left sitting with the phone to my ear, absolute terror coursing through my veins as the phone falls form my veins.

   "Fuck." Is the only thing out of my mouth and the only word repeating in my head, my chest almost hurting from the way my heart is pounding. Until I notice that I'm struggling to breath, panic seeming to seep into my stomach twisting it in knots before crawling it's way up my esophagus into the back of my throat, bile following quickly behind.
  
Fuck. Why did I have to get so distracted by Cody and Zee? Why did I let myself forget? Why did I let myself get comfortable?

   I'm vaguely aware of Alex in my face trying to snap me out of it, but I can barely make out his silhouette, much less his voice which sounds like it's calling to me form underwater. "I have to go." I hear myself say and it's almost as if I'm watching from a third person as I get myself out of the chair and head towards the door. Alex calls after me but I barely hear him and can't make out anything, as if my ears have popped and blocked out the sound.

     The next thing I know I'm walking up the pack house steps, the walk over here gone in my mind.

   My intake of breath is sharp and quick, but I release it slowly, doing my best to try to calm mt heart down, knowing that showing fear is a sure way to make everything worse.

   I take a few deep breaths and while my sweating hands along my jeans hoping to dry them. Knowing that every minute I make him wait is going to be more that I have to answer for. More I will be punished for. I take a deep breath and open the door, accepting my fate and readying myself for my parents coming to visit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okaaaaay. So you guys are getting more of a well rounded friendship from Alex and James as well as more information on their families earlier than before. What do you think about Zee's message? What do you think will be different about this situation in the rewrite?

Thoughts?

Comments?

QOTD: What is your biggest fear?