CHAPTER TEN.
WHY DID YOU COME?

Five years ago was the last time that Kit Lainey had been inside Kate Carter's barn. She still remembered it like it was yesterday.

It was the day before everything fell apart. Kit had forgotten her guitar in the barn so she went back to get it. She hadn't meant to overhear anything or interrupt, but she paused at the door when she heard voices.

"What are we gonna do tomorrow?" Kate asked, she was at the bottom of the barn. When Kit peeked, she could see Jeb holding a camera from the top.

"We're going chasing... Uh, we're gonna kill a tornado, right?" Jeb's eyes narrowed a little while he asked for clarification. Kate grinned and did a little spin while looking up at her boyfriend

"We're gonna be... We're taming a tornado," she said stopping mid-spin just to make sure Jeb heard her.

Kit didn't go in to get her guitar. She had decided that she wasn't going to interrupt the two. Truthfully she felt stupid. She was with Connor and she loved him. Yet despite that, for some reason, her feelings that she had for Kate just hadn't gone away completely. So she felt a little jealous when saw Jeb and Kate together.

It was a stupid feeling and she knew it, but it didn't matter. All she could do was keep pushing it down. She was fine. They were just feelings. They'd go away at some point and she was completely happy in her relationship.

Now, of course, the situation had changed. Kit didn't have a boyfriend anymore and neither did Kate. Kit wasn't able to push the feelings she had down anymore, especially after the tornado when she'd almost lost Kate, again.

....

Kit didn't exactly know what her plan was here. She'd gotten shakily out of the truck with Tyler and begun to talk towards the barn, but first, she was met with Cathy.

"Kit Lainey? That really you over there," the woman greeted her with a smile. Kit couldn't help the smile that formed on her face. She loved Kate's mom.

"Ms. Carter," she nodded her head a little. Cathy stopped and raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Formalities? You used to sneak into my house in the middle of the night." Kit flushed a little and she could hear Tyler laugh. She didn't need to look at his face to tell he was smirking.

Cathy stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Kit. For a moment, she froze. Then she relaxed, hugging Cathy back with a soft smile.
"It's real good to see you, Kit." Kit pulled away.

"It's good to see you too. It's been a while."  Catchy nodded, a sad look passing through her eyes. They both knew why it had been so long, neither needed to bring it up.

"Kate's in the barn." Kit had figured, but now she had no excuse to stay out here any longer. Cathy had pointed her in the direction of Kate and now she needed to actually talk to her.

She stayed in place for a second, chewing on her lip out of anxiety. Tyler placed a hand on her shoulder and she took a deep breath before looking at him.

"I'll stay out here," he offered. Kit immediately shook her head. She knew she needed to talk to Kate, but she didn't want to do it alone- not yet.

Slowly walking towards the barn, Kit's anxiety only increased. It wasn't that she was scared to see Kate, she was just scared that Kate was going to leave again. No part of her wanted that to happen.

Kate didn't notice them come in. Tyler was still next to Kit, his hand placed on her shoulder just as before. Neither of them said anything at first. They just watched as Kate fiddled with an s science project. Kit still remembered when she made it.

"Build your own tornado. Look at that." It wasn't Kit who spoke first, it was Tyler. He was watching the project in fascination. Kate looked back towards them. She was clearly surprised to see them, but it didn't show as much. Kit had been expecting more- she was a little relieved that there hadn't been.

"Middle school science fair project," Kate explained. Her eyes landed on Kit for a brief second but she tore them away almost immediately. Tyler noticed, but Kit didn't.

"Well, you must've won."  He noted.

"First Place." Kate had a small proud smile on her face. "Was almost second because of Dawson Brooks' volcano but Kit argued that anyone could make a volcano. Not everyone could build their own tornado,"

Kit remembered that clear as day. The judges were just about to announce the winner. Dawson's volcano hadn't even been impressive, his mom was just the principal.

"Well someone had to, Dawson was a dick anyways," she mumbled a little. Tyler laughed and Kate smiled. The. the smile dropped.

"How did you know I would be here?" The question was geared towards Kit more than Tyler. Obviously, they had gotten there because Kit knew where she lived, but Kate didn't know how she knew that she would come home.

Kit couldn't answer. She opened her mouth and it just came out as random words stumbling together. It didn't sound like anything, because really Kit didn't know how she knew. She just knew.

"Kit thought that you might come home after what had happened." As usual, Tyler was her saving grace. He always seemed to know the right thing to say. "Kit, she uh-, she told us about you and your friends.  I'm sorry."

Kate didn't say anything to that, she only nodded. However, her eyes went back to Kit, a little surprised that she'd told him. It wasn't exactly bad that she had, but she wasn't expecting it.

If she was going to say anything, she didn't have the chance because Cathy reentered seconds later.

"I'm fixing some food, you three okay eating outside?" Kate blinked, her mom was just- inviting them to dinner without asking.

"Oh, Ms. Carter you really don't gotta make us anything." Kit said. Kate had to pause for a second,  had they driven that long to not stay? Why would they have come at all?

"Yeah they're not staying," Kate agreed despite her questions, she didn't exactly want them here either. She was hoping maybe they'd just forget and she could go back to New York. It was easier.

She didn't see the hurt pass through Kit's eyes when she insisted they weren't staying.

"They're staying. Tyler you can call me Cathy."  Cathy didn't ask, she simply told. "Kate, why don't you set up the table?" It took Kate a second before she listened and walked out, she tried to avoid looking at Kate and Tyler.

The minute she was gone from the barn, Tyler turned to Kit. His own eyebrows raised as he looked at her. She hadn't even tried to talk to Kate, which was half the goal of coming here. His secret half of the goal was to get Kate to come back with them - he hadn't told Kit this part. He needed them to talk to each other first.

"You didn't even try."  He shook his head at her.

"Tyler she doesn't want us here, I think she made that clear." Kit ran her hand through her hair frustrated. "We shouldn't have come."

It wasn't about what Kate wanted. Both Tyler and Kit knew that. It was about the fact that Kit was scared. She didn't want to face Kate because she knew that she couldn't handle holding her feelings in anymore. She was afraid that once she told Kate how she felt, she'd lose her. Though she felt like she was losing her either way.

Tyler however, wouldn't budge. He'd only known Kate for a few days but it didn't matter. He wasn't stupid, he could see what was happening and Kit needed to admit it. They weren't leaving until she did.

"No." He was firm in his answer. Kit glared at him. Why did he keep having to disagree with her? "You gotta talk to her, so have dinner and then talk because I ain't driving us anywhere until you do." Kit tried to interrupt. "I ain't budging Lainey."

She hated it. She was terrified of talking, but Kit had no option. So she followed Tyler out of the barn.

....

Kit didn't talk much throughout the start of dinner. She was sat on the opposite side of the table, facing Kate - while still avoiding looking at her. She just listened with a small smile while Cathy talked about Kate when they were younger.

"These two tell you how they met?" Kit sat up straight, this was the first time she was being brought into the conversation. She didn't need Tyler knowing how she got her nickname.

"Oh I don't think that's real import-" Cathy waved her off with a grin before she could even finish her sentence.

Tyler had a smirk on his face while he looked at her. She had heard all kinds of embarrassing childhood stories about him from Boone. Now it was his turn to hear some about her.

"Why no they haven't," Kit flushed a little and Kate looked at her confused. Why was she embarrassed by this? Their meeting wasn't that embarrassing?

"So Kit over here, had been crowned Junior Rodeo Queen." Cathy started explaining. Kit let out a sigh, there was no use arguing about it. "She was still going by Kassidy at the time." Tyler didn't get what this had to do with the story. "So she wins, and on the winning laps- she falls off the horse."

Tyler couldn't help but laugh a little. He looked at Kit, expecting this to be the reason she was embarrassed but she hadn't reacted. Cathy continued.

"So she falls off, they set her up with an ice pack and bandages and left her. Kate goes up to her, starts talking to her. 5 minutes later I've been introduced to her new friend... Kit ." There was a grin on Cathy's face.

"I thought she was going by Kassidy?" Kit put her head in her hands at Tyler's words.

"Oh, she was. Kate and I showed up a little late. Didn't hear her name. So when Kate goes up to talk to her and sees the girl with the first aid kit..." Cathy was almost finished, but Kate decided to stop her and finish it instead.

"She didn't tell me her name at first, I asked her if I needed to keep calling her first aid kit. When she did tell me her name I told her I liked Kit better. She's been going by it ever since."

Kit's head was still in her hands, she wouldn't look at anyone. It wasn't that she was embarrassed by the nickname. She just - happened to be embarrassed that she only got the nickname after a pretty girl called her it one time.

Tyler seemed to catch onto this. He was grinning ear to ear as he saw Kit's embarrassment. He decided to make it worse.

"You met one time and suddenly changed your name? Damn."

Kate looked between them. She hadn't ever thought about that. She'd assumed it was just a nickname that she liked- now that she thought about it, she didn't think she'd ever heard anyone call her anything other than Kit after they met. Had she really taken Kate that seriously when she said she liked it better than Kassidy?

She glanced back towards Kit. The woman was now shoving food into her mouth, trying to avoid talking. She still wouldn't look at Kate. Why had she come if she wasn't going to? She didn't understand.

At some point, the conversation moved on. Kit was relieved, she didn't want the topic to be on her. Tyler was probably going to tell their friends anyway and they would never leave her alone. She could already hear them asking if she really had basically changed her name because of a crush. The answer was yes. Yes, she had.

Apparently, the topic had changed to storm chasing. She didn't clue back in until Tyler was halfway through a speech.

"That only gets you so far, and every chaser has to make a guess, and the good ones have an instinct for it." He was explaining something about chasing. Kit knew what it meant. Science, it was the science that would only get you so far.

"Oh, she had that early on." Cathy turned to Kate. There was a proud look in her eyes. " Always knew when weather was coming," She glanced at Kit for a second, smiling a bit. "Even better than the cows."

Kit couldn't help but laugh at that and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Wow, you hear that? You're better than the cows." Tyler grinned. Kit did too. She knew it, after all, Kate had seen a tornado before anyone else on the day they'd met.

"That's a compliment." Cathy furthered her statement. She stood by it. Kate chuckled. "Got to have a feel for it."

Tyler looked interested. Kit had seen it before. There was always something that drew him to people. He collected people like a person who collected stray dogs. Kit, of course, knew that from experience.

"She always had a feel for it, huh?"

"Oh, yeah." Cathy laughed. Now it was time for an embarrassing Kate story. Kit much preferred those. "One time, I was giving her a bath..."

Kate immediately interrupted. She didn't want her mom to tell this story of all stories.

"Can we not?" she tried to ask, she looked to Kit for help. That didn't work because Kit simply shrugged at her.

"Maybe just a little?" Cathy said back. Kate cringed and leaned back. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad? "And we heard thunder, and she shot up out of the tub and ran out the house. Naked as the day she was born..."

Kit was the first to start laughing. Tyler did too. Kit had heard this story a dozen times. It was one of those that was Cathy's go-to when she explained Kate's love of storms. Hearing it again was nice.

"Oh, my God." this time it was Kate who had hidden her head in her hands just as Kit had been doing minutes prior.

"I was terrified. And when I finally caught up with her, she was standing in the middle of the wheat field, staring at the sky."

The laughter faded. Kit finally looked at Kate. She knew Kate had always been good when it came to storms. It fascinated her just how good she really was.

"I got to try that out," Kate looked up and sent a tiny glare to Tyler. She almost felt relieved when she saw Kit looking at her out of the side of her eye.

"Will you stop encouraging her?" She asked him.

"Keep your clothes on, Kate. Let your mom finish." Kit laughed again. She'd forgotten how much she loved being here. Sitting at the Carter's table, listening to Cathy's stories. It felt like coming back home.

"All I'm saying is, she always loved weather." Cathy finished her story softly. "Worse the weather, the happier the girl." She asked Tyler next about how he started chasing. Kit didn't pay much attention. She was too busy looking at Kate. She could hear Tyler's words faintly.

"Well, when you love something," Kate looked up from her plate, and they met Kit's. Neither of them looked away. "You'll spend your whole life trying to understand it."

It was only a second but Kit felt like she couldn't breathe. For once it wasn't out of panic or anxiety, it was because Kate was looking at her so softly. She hadn't ever looked at her that way before. Or if she had- Kit had never noticed.
She didn't want it or stop, but she forced herself to look away, just as Kate did.

"Katie was studying for a PhD," Cathy spoke again. "I keep telling her to come back and finish it."

"She should, she's a genius," Kit said. Kate deserved better than an office job in New York. She deserved to be doing what she loved.

"Okay, Mom." Kate wanted to change the subject. Cathy didn't.

"She was heading up a big study with her friends: disrupting tornado dynamics."

It was those words that caused the mood at the table to completely change. Suddenly Kate was standing up. She wouldn't look at anybody. It was obvious why. She didn't want to think of that project. It got her friends killed.

"Uh, does anybody need anything?" She stood up and asked. "I'm going to clean up." When no one said anything she picked up the stuff and left. She didn't come back and Kit could see her going into the barn.

With one look at Tyler and Cathy, Kit stood up and followed her. It was time that she and Kate actually talked.

....

Walking into the Carter house, Kit's eyes wandered. It hadn't changed even a little. It was still the exact same as it was 5 years ago. In fact, when she looked toward the corner where she used to sit while Kate worked, her old guitar was still against the wall, collecting dust.

She turned to look at the rest of the house, when she found Kate standing, looking down at the photo of their friends while she scrubbed the dinner dishes clean. She remembered that day so clearly. God, she really missed them.

"Kate," Kit spoke softly. Kate's head turned around quickly. She hadn't been expecting to be followed. "Hi." Kit didn't know why she felt so awkward, but she did.

"Hey." Kate looked hesitant as she turned around completely.

"I uh- I just wanted to see how you were doing?" It was more than that of course, but Kate had left the table so quickly that she wanted to make sure she was okay.

Kate looked down, then she turned back to the photo she'd been looking at. Kit walked forward and looked at the photo. Kate's arm was slung over her shoulders, the rest of the team linking arms or doing the same position. They all looked so happy. None of them had known what was coming.

"I miss them," Kit said. She hadn't been expecting the words to leave her mouth but they did before she could stop them. Kate looked at her.

"Me too."

They both went silent and then Kate cleared her throat and kept washing the dishes. She was going to try and push the subject away again.

Kit sighed and after one last glance at the photo, she walked toward the table, leaning against it as she watched Kate.

"Kate..." She started speaking. She didn't know how she was going to start this conversation, but she needed to.

"Kit, why did you come?" Kate asked. Kit looked taken aback. What? She was about to ask what Kate meant, but Kate just kept talking. "You don't have to. I'm fine."

Kit crossed her arms over her chest, she narrowed her eyes a little.  A small flare of anger filled her chest.

"Are you serious right now?" Kate didn't react. "You were going to go back to New York. Weren't you?" She needed to know. She needed to know if Kate was just planning on leaving again.

Kate didn't reply, but she looked back at Kit and that was all the answer she needed. Kit scoffed.

"Wow." she shook her head and started walking. Kate looked at her.

"Why does it matter?" Kate sighed, she didn't understand why Kit was upset. It looked like she was heading toward the door and Kate called out again. She needed to know why she was mad.  "Kit! Why does it matter?"

"Because you were leaving me again." Kit turned on her heel and walked towards Kate. Her eyes were filled with tears. "You left 5 years ago when I needed you. You ignored me for - years. You finally come back and now you're leaving again? God, do I not matter to you at all?" Her voice came out strained.

Kate hadn't been expecting her to say that. Her face filled with shock. Kit wasn't done speaking.

"I know that you were going through it. God Kate, I get it. But you disappeared without so much of a word after we lost our best friends. You were the only one who understood and I couldn't even talk to my best friend because she was pretending I didn't exist."

"I couldn't be here Kassidy! I felt like I couldn't breathe and everything was a reminder of them." Kate's voice raised. 

"And that meant that you had to spend years acting like I didn't exist?"

"Yes." Kit's whole face flashed with hurt. "If I stayed here. If I stayed then I would've gotten you killed, just like the rest of them." 

Kit froze at the revelation. She knew Kate had felt guilt, she did too. What she hadn't known was that Kate felt like the entire situation was her fault.  She shook her head immediately.

"No. That wasn't your fault. You could not have known that it was going to be an EF5. That was not your fault." Kate refused to listen.

"Yes, it was. I made a bad call and it got Addy, Praveen, Jeb, and Connor all killed. You don't get it. It was my fault." Kate's cheeks were lined with tear streaks.

"If it was your fault then it was my fault." Immediately Kate went to disagree with her. "No. Kate if that was your fault then it was my fault too. I went out there. I slowed Connor and Addy down when we ran to the overpass. Connor died while getting me to safety. If it is your fault then it's mine too."

Both of them had revealed something to the other that neither of them had before. It was a step forward in a strange way. Neither of them were thinking about this. They were too caught up in the emotions they were feeling.

"You were only out there because of me," Kate refused to let Kit blame herself. She'd been the one to drag her out there instead of letting her stay back with Javi. It was her fault.

"You didn't force me, Kate. I chose and if I had to choose again? I would still go."

That wasn't an answer Kate was expecting. What did Kit mean she would go again? Why would she do that?

"What?" Kate stared at Kit intensely. "Why- why would you say that?"

Kit let out a groan. She shook her head in frustration. Kate really hasn't realized it yet?

"Because you were there Kate!" Kate's mouth dropped open. "If I had to go through it all again, then I would. Just so you wouldn't feel alone."

"Why?" Kate didn't get it. She didn't understand why Kit would want to go through any of that for her. "Why would you want to do that for me?" Kit shook her head. Kate stepped forward. "Kassidy! Answer me! Why?"

"Because you idiot. I love you!" The wind felt like it had been knocked out of Kate. Kit was looking at her, her eyes red from crying. She was so frustrated and hurt and confused about everything, it was all too much. "God Kate," She started. "I have been in love with you since we were 15. I would do anything for you."

In every scenario that Kit had played through her head where Kit told Kate she was in love with her. It never ended well. In her head, it always ended in rejection. Now that it was happening, she had that same fear.

Kate didn't speak for a second. It was almost like she was speechless. The words that Kit had just said were replaying in her mind over and over again. She couldn't believe it.

"You're- what?" She wasn't shouting anymore. Her voice had softened. "Why wouldn't you say anything sooner?" If she had been in love with her since she was 15, why hadn't she said anything?

"Because I was scared! You're my best friend and I didn't want to lose you when you didn't feel the same." Kate wanted to scream. Hadn't Kit realized that she did feel the same?

She opened her mouth to speak, to find the right words to say. She couldn't. The fear of telling Kit how she felt was still there. What if she told her and then something happened? Kate couldn't lose someone else.

"Kit, I-" The words died on her tongue. Kit took that as her answer. Kate didn't love her back and even though it stung like hell, she couldn't let it show.

"You don't have to say anything, Kate."Kit's voice was soft, Kate could hear the sadness that she was trying to hide. "I accepted a long time ago that you wouldn't feel the same."

That wasn't it. Kit didn't know but that wasn't it. Kate was so in love with her that it physically hurt to not say anything, but she couldn't. The last person that Kate had loved had gotten killed, Kit could say that it wasn't her fault but Kate wouldn't believe her. Which made sense, because Kit wouldn't believe it wasn't her fault either.

The two women didn't speak. Kit just watched as Kate looked like she wanted to explain. She didn't need to. Kit didn't need to hear why Kate didn't feel the same way. It was enough that she didn't.

Kit couldn't look at Kate, she still had tears in her eyes as she tried to avoid crying. She couldn't let Kate see how much this hurt.

"I don't want to lose you." Kate suddenly said. She was terrified. Kit looked back at her finally, and she immediately shook her head.

"Kate you ain't ever going to lose me," Kit walked toward her. She placed her hands on her shoulder. "You couldn't if you tried. But you can't just- leave. I can't lose you either. Not again." Kate pulled her in closer, their foreheads almost touching. A silent promise being made between them. Kate wouldn't leave without saying goodbye and Kit wouldn't let her. They were too important to each other.

Even though Kate didn't feel the same way about her, despite the fact that Kit felt heartbroken. Neither of them would let go. Kit had accepted when she was 18 that Kate wouldn't feel the same, she wasn't going to leave now because it had been confirmed. It had always been her and Kate. That wasn't going to
change now.

The sound of the door is what caused them to pull away. Cathy walked in. She glanced between the two of them for a second, trying to decipher what she had walked in on. With the tears still on both Kate and Kit's faces, she chose to not question it. Instead, she spoke casually.

"I invited Tyler to stay the night in the guest room. Kit you're staying too." Kate sighed a little, irritated that her mom was pushing this. She didn't say anything, she just turned to Kit.

"Do you know where Tyler is?" Kit shrugged, why would she know? She was a little busy talking to Kate. She glanced towards the barn that had a light on and she pointed towards it. Kate took a deep breath and shook her head. Of course, he was in the barn. She stepped back from the dishes and walked outside.

Kit stayed back for a moment. Did she follow Kate to make sure Tyler didn't say anything stupid? Or did she let them talk? She looked over at the picture of their friends and boy down on her lip before looking back at the door. Then she walked out. Kit hadn't gotten through to her when it came to the fact that the EF5 wasn't her fault. Maybe Tyler could.

She really hoped so.

note.
love confession part one is done.
i couldn't have kate admit her feelings yet. she's too traumatized for that still and i feel like it wouldn't have made sense for her to admit that she loved kit yet.
but kit did, and now she thinks kate doesn't feel the same so that's a little sad.
anyways. as always please vote and comment. tell me if you enjoyed.
see you next time.

- c.j