CHAPTER NINETEEN.
YOU MAKE IT EASY

    After creating their own dance hall in the middle of nowhere, Kit Lainey had made a realization. Kate Carter was going to be it for her.

She knew it was a fast realization, it's not one she would ever voice - she didn't need to scare Kate off,- but it was a realization that just seemed to click. After spending years trying to move on, years thinking Kate wouldn't love her back? Kate was here.

It was everything. Her arms were wrapped around Kit while they danced to the music and the sun completely set. She held her like it was the only thing in the world that mattered. So truthfully, Kit didn't care if it was too fast. She knew that Kate was it for her, that was that.

At some point as the world around them began to grow dark, Kate pulled back from their dancing. She tilted her head at Kit and looked her in the eyes.

"Thank you, for this," she spoke softly. Kit shrugged as if it was nothing but she couldn't hide the soft smile on her face.

"I'd do anything for you," She looked, moving her one hand to cup Kate's face. Kate leaned forward and pressed her lips to Kit's. Kit still couldn't hold back her smile.

Neither of the women wanted to let go, neither really wanted to go back. Being here together, it just felt right. Eventually, however, as the sun finished setting, they realized it was time to leave.

Slowly, Kit sat down in the truck bed and slid off. She offered her hand to Kate to help her off and she happily took it. When Kate took a step ready to get down, Kit wrapped her arms around her and spun her around before setting her on the ground with a giggle. Kate rolled her eyes but the smile didn't leave her face. She was very happy.

....

They drove back to the farm in silence, Kate had moved to the sort of middle seat at the front and her head was lying on Kit's shoulder while Kit drove. The country music radio was playing quietly and Kit used one hand to drive while resting her bad hand on Kate's thigh.

Glancing at the clock as they pulled up to the farm, Kit could see it was only about 9:30. The Wrangler's were still up, over where they were parked. She could see them watching when she parked the car. Kate sat up, but she held Kit's hand.

"You want to go over and hang out for a while?" She nodded her head towards the team. Kit paused for a second and furrowed her eyebrows before she shook her head.

"No, I - was kind of thinking we could go up to the loft. Just us?" She spoke a little hopefully. She wasn't ready to go back to a bunch of people, she wanted to continue just being with Kate for a while.

Kate seemed surprised at the suggestion and for a second Kit was worried. Did she maybe not want to do that? She was about to speak and say they could hang out with the team if that was what Kate wanted, but she didn't get the chance when Kate spoke again.

"Yeah," she said nodding. "I'd like that." Kit's grin returned and she let go of Kate's hand just for a second to get out of the truck. When she met her outside she immediately grabbed it again.

Walking towards the barn, Kit kept glancing towards Kate. She couldn't help it. Kate was beautiful and it was hard not to focus on.

Kate was doing the same to Kit, so when they both looked up at the same time she laughed. She nudged her a little bit and Kit mock gasped before removing her hand. Kate almost frowned until she realized Kit's arm was swinging over her shoulder, pulling her closer.

When they reached the doors that were already slightly opened, Kit turned to Kate as if motioning for her to enter first. Kate paused. She looked up at her but didn't move. Kit narrowed her eyes, wondering if something was wrong.

Nothing was wrong. She realized that only seconds later when Kate kissed her again. This time pushing her into the barn without breaking the kiss. Kit's eyes widened a little but she didn't stop it, she only returned it and moved to wrap her hands around Kate's waist

Kate pulled away for just a second and Kit poured until Kate had shut the barn door and returned to the kiss. This time it deepened and she pressed Kit against one of the beams.

Letting out a small gasp at the contact, Kit leaned in more. She moved her hands through Kate's hair and didn't let her go. Switching their positions she managed to push Kate to one of the work tables lifting her up to set her on it. She didn't miss the way Kate's legs wrapped around her waist.

Pulling apart just for a second so they could both take in air, Kate pulled at Kit's jacket. She didn't have to say anything, Kit immediately pulled it off.

"Good," was all Kate said, before she pulled Kit back into their kiss, her legs wrapping around her once more.

Kit couldn't help the way her stomach filled with butterflies as she held onto Kate. Her lips tasted like strawberry lip gloss which Kit was pretty sure she'd stolen from her stuff. Not that she minded of course.

Focusing on the kiss, Kit was happier than she knew was possible. It was an embarrassing thing to admit, but she'd had dreams that ended up like this. It genuinely felt perfect. However, as she kept her arms wrapped around Kate there was small thought in the back of her mind. Kit couldn't help but wonder if Kate would be okay with taking her sweater off, the same way that Kit had done with her jacket.

She didn't want to ask, well she did but she was afraid of ruining the moment. Instead, she said nothing. It wasn't like it was that important anyway. No, the important thing was what they were doing.

Kate however seemed to notice the slightest bit of hesitancy coming from the woman in front of her. A rush of panic filled her and she pulled away to make sure Kit was okay.

Kit narrowed her eyes a little, surprised.

"Are you okay?" she asked beating Kate to speaking. Her voice sounded concerned. Kate nodded.

"I was going to ask you that," she said softly. "You seemed...hesitant." She watched as Kit flushed and shook her head.

"Not about this," she promised. "Never about this." Kate raised her eyebrows, wanting her to explain what she was hesitant about. Kit hesitated again. "It's stupid."

"Nothing you say is stupid."

"Kate-" Kit shook her head. Kate wasn't backing down so reluctantly she gave in. "I was going to see if you would take your sweater off, but I didn't want to push."

Kate's mouth opened a little. That hadn't been what she was expecting but she understood. This was the first time either of them was really doing anything, not just together but in general for the first time since Jeb and Connor had died. She didn't want to admit it, but she was kind of relieved that she wasn't the only nervous one.

Thinking over what Kit had said, Kate could see the way she tensed, the way she was getting ready to probably change the subject. Kate didn't want that. She didn't want whatever was happening to stop yet. So instead, she moved and slowly took off her sweater. Kit's eyes widened.

"You didn't have to." Kate interrupted her.

"I wanted to," she confirmed, her eyes softened. "This is a lot for both of us, I know that. But I wouldn't do anything I'm not comfortable with. I wanted to take it off."

Kit's mouth felt dry but she felt relief cloud over her. Logically she had known Kate would agree, but she was anxious and saying that was hard. She leaned forward a little and pressed her forehead against Kate's.

"It is a lot." she agreed. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Everything is okay when I'm with you," Kate spoke and Kit felt her heartbeat quicken. "I may not be ready for everything, but I'm ready for this moment. Can we just-  go slow for the rest?" It wasn't that Kate thought she would say no. She knew that she wouldn't, but she wanted to ask anyway.

"Slow." Kit nodded softly. "So this is okay for now?" She wanted to clarify. Yes, she did want to do more with Kate eventually, it was just that she didn't want to rush anything.

Kate nodded and smiled back at her. She was feeling the exact same. They both had physical and mental scars the other hadn't seen. Taking things slow was for the best. After a moment, she bit her lip.

"Yeah.." she said. "But can I do one more thing?" Kit looked at her a little confused but nodded nonetheless. Kate immediately tightened her legs around Kit to pull her closer, once she was, Kate leaned forward but instead of kissing her lips, she began kissing her jawline.

Another small gasp left Kit, and then she relaxed. She tightened her grip around Kate and ran her hands through her hair. She could hear Kate's breath shake.

"Stop," Kate ordered. Kit froze a little. "You're making it hard to focus on what I'm doing." She relaxed again but giggled. Kate pulled away briefly and gave her a look. The small grin on Kit's face didn't leave as she held her hands up in surrender before Kate leaned back in.

This continued for a while before they ended up in the loft of the barn. Kit's neck had a few red marks she knew she'd have to cover tomorrow but that wasn't her focus at the moment.

Kate was on her lap while they sat on a beanbag chair. Her legs straightened while she leaned towards her. Kit didn't know how long it had been, but she knew that even if it had been forever, she didn't want to stop.

They pulled away one last time and the two women looked at each other.

"I love you," Kit was the first one to speak. Kate held her face between her hands.

"I love you too," she gently kissed her lips for a brief second and pulled back. "Thank you for everything." Kit shrugged her shoulders but Kate shook her head. "Seriously Kassidy, thank you for making this easy."

Kit narrowed her eyes a little, not out of confusion she what Kate meant. But she also wanted Kate to realize what she was doing was making things easier too.

"It's not just me." she tilted her head. "You pulled back the minute you felt hesitation. You're making this easy on me too." After everything that had happened, the last thing they needed was to rush into their feelings just because of how long they'd been holding them back. "We both have scars we're not ready to show yet. What matters is that we're dealing with it together." Kate smiled.

"One day I'll show you my scars," she promised. Kit chuckled.

"And one day I'll show you mine."

To anyone outside, it would seem that they had already seen each other's scars. The red jagged line down Kate's thigh, the ones on Kit's hand. Both knew of the nightmares the other held from the past. That didn't mean they knew everything. There were still things they had yet to share.

So yeah, they'd seen each other's physical scars before, the obvious ones. This promise, however, wasn't about that. It wasn't a promise to just see the scars they'd gained, it was a promise to share them, a promise to not hide anything from the other. It may not have been a promise made in words, but they both knew what it meant.

Drifting into silence, neither woman wanted to move. So instead of moving to go into the house for the night, Kit leaned over and grabbed one of the blankets they kept up in the loft. She draped it over her and Kate and pulled Kate closer. Her girlfriend rested her head on her chest and closed her eyes while Kit leaned back.

It was the first night in a long time that Kate's dreams weren't completely nightmares.

....

Kit couldn't sleep. It wasn't that she didn't want to and it wasn't that she wasn't comfortable- she was. But she still couldn't sleep. Not when she had lyrics swimming through her head.

She was careful to not wake Kate when she leaned to the side to grab an old notebook and pencil. If she didn't get these words out then she would forget them. She may have said that she wasn't really into performing anymore but that didn't mean she didn't still love music.

Thinking of the way that she and Kate had danced in the truck, she managed to write it. Once she started, she couldn't stop. Of course, she couldn't play her guitar to make sure the songs went together, but from the way she was reading the lyrics in her head, it totally worked.

Nodding her head a little as she tried to come up with a melody in her head, she paused when Kate stirred. She held her breath for a second. The last thing she wanted was to wake her.

Luckily she didn't, Kate shifted again but then let out a long breath signaling to Kit that she was still asleep. Kit almost let out a sigh of relief.

It's not like her songwriting was a secret. After all, everyone had made a big deal about the fact that she was writing again. But although her writing wasn't a secret, this song was. Actually if Kit were being honest? Most of the songs she wrote about Kate were secret. Other than the one she had given her of course.

For a while longer, Kit continued what she was doing. Writing small notes in the song, trying to figure out a melody - which proved to be rather hard when she couldn't play her guitar. Eventually, she managed to get a draft finished. She scribbled the words "Dance Hall" on the top and then tucked the notebook away. She didn't want Kate to see it.

Kate moved in her arms again and Kit paused and held her breath. She didn't have much luck because Kate looked up at her. Her eyes narrowed tiredly as she tilted her head.

"What are you doing?" she yawned. Kit shook her head.

"Nothing, go back to sleep." She wrapped her arms around her and pulled her closer. Kate didn't argue, she just nodded and soon enough had fallen back asleep.

Leaning back completely on the chair, Kit looked down briefly at the woman in her arms. A small smile formed on her face. This was perfect.
Slowly she pressed her lips to Kate's forehead before closing her eyes, finally letting sleep take over.

....

When Kate woke up the next morning, Kit was fast asleep. Her arms were still glued around her waist and her neck was lying in a way that Kate was sure would cause her pain later, but she was asleep. So Kate came up with a plan.

Kit had planned everything the night before. Sure she would say it wasn't much. But to Kate, it was everything. She needed a way to do the same for her.

Her first thought was breakfast. She could always sneak into the house and make something. After thinking about it for a minute she decided that wasn't good. If she had made breakfast then it likely would've turned into everyone else wanting breakfast and that's not what Kate wanted to do.

It was then, her eyes landed on a small notebook near the wall. Her eyes shifted to Kit and she could see the smudges of black on her hands from writing. Slowly Kate leaned forward, grabbing the notebook. She was about to open it, to peek at whatever Kit had written when suddenly it was pulled out of her hands.

"No," Kit held the notebook to her chest while she leaned back against the chair. She closed her eyes again. "Secret." Kate frowned.

"Oh come on," she complained. "You always show me your music."

"Not when it's about you," Kate raised her eyebrows and Kit suddenly opened her eyes wide.  That wasn't something Kate was meant to know.

She sat up shitshot and turned to Kate to try and say something but she was met with a large grin forming on Kate's face.

"You've written songs about me?" Sure, she had known about the song Kit had given her. She didn't know that there were others.

Kit shut her mouth tightly and tried to figure out what to say. She could deny it, say that wasn't what she meant. Kate would know she was lying. Which meant she had no choice but to come clean.

"Yes.". she ended up saying closing one of her eyes as she spoke. "But before you say anything... You can't read them."

"Why not?"

Kate immediately asked the question. She was protesting Kit's answer. She moved a little closer and grabbed her hands. Kit's grip on the notebook tightened.
If Kit was writing about her then she wanted to see.

"Kate-"

"They're about me!" Kate argued.

"It's like a diary," Kit answered. She decided that this explanation was the best she could come up with. "The songs are about you but they're also about feelings and thoughts that I've had. Thoughts and feelings that I'm not ready to share yet." She looked up at Kate while chewing on her lip, hoping she understood.

Kate didn't say anything, she just went quiet. Kit was worried. Was she going to be mad? That was the last thing she wanted.

"I get it," she spoke after a minute. "I mean I want to hear them but, I get it." Kate squeezed her hand and then stood up. Kit nodded. "But maybe one day you can show them to me?"

Both the understanding and the question hon style took Kit by surprise. She was relieved that Kate understood even though she had been expecting more pushback. The question, however, made her realize she'd never really thought about showing them to anyone, let alone Kate. Sure she'd sung one or two of the lighter ones before, but she'd never sung any that had really meant something to her.

"One day," she ended up saying with a small slightly sad, smile. Her mind went back to what Kate had said the other day about missing her performing. She's been so quick to say that it didn't seem like something she wanted anymore. Honestly, she had thought it wasn't. However, the more time she spent writing and the more time she spent with Kate, she was reminded of one of the biggest reasons she loved performing. She loved making Kate smile.

When Kate left the loft with a quick kiss on Kit's cheek, she was left alone. Thinking about performing and music. Thinking about how everything had changed. A big part of her mind was still insisting that performing wasn't for her anymore. A smaller part, that she was trying to keep locked away, was telling her the opposite.

She stood up and looked out the loft window, watching as Kate walked into the house. She held the notebook with her new song tightly in her hands.

She had some more thinking to do.

....

note.

the song kit wrote in this chapter is dance hall by danielle bradbery!

domestic kit and kate!!
unfortunately my twisters brainrot has faded. i have one chapter left in my plans and i am excited for it. i'm excited for my girls to get their happy ending.
i really did originally plan to write more extra chapters but i have surgery in just over a week and i can't take any pain medication right so it's really hard because i'm in a bad fibromyalgia flare up. that's why this chapter took so long to get out.
   also going to remake all the gifs from the rest of the chapters because the quality and coloring is annoying me. oops.
i hope you enjoyed! please remember to vote and comment!! <3

- c.j