Life has a strange way of pulling strings that surpassed human intellect.

What should she call this? Fate? Destiny? Curse? Or just an accident like everyone else was. 

Strangers. That's what she was to him. A stranger that wrecked his perfect life.

Nila was steeped in guilt that was gradually suffocating her. She was experiencing an excruciatingly painful death by making her aware of every possible happiness she had snatched away, albeit by no fault of hers. 

Every breath she inhaled, reminded her of the beautiful woman who was dead. The heaviness in her heart was so unbearable that she wanted to drown into the blackness and never come back. It was slowly filling her with emptiness and void.

As if three weeks of suffering from this numbing pain wasn't torment enough, his evocative bloodshot eyes questioned her very existence, haunting every last bit of her soul she had left.

"Naanum sethutena nu paaka vandhiya?", his barked that instantly made her tremble in fear.

"Sir.. Please..", she whimpered unable to make words.

"Idhu en Priya vaazhnda veedu. Inga un moochu kaathu kooda pada koodadu. Engalku edachu seiyanum nu nenacha... idhuku mela enna paaka try pannadha.", he fumed and slammed the door on her face without waiting for a response.

The door was about to shut when she stopped it.

"En uyira kaapathnadhu... unga Priya senja kadasi vishyam. Maybe she did not intend to. Aana adhu dan reality.", she trembled reliving those exact moments before everything changed.

"Indha vaazhkaiya naa enakaga vaazhardha vida... avangalkaaga dan vaazhanum nu aasa padren.", she confessed making him speechless.

She sniffed back her tears that were welled up, waiting to roll down at any instant.

"Ungala en paaka vanden nu neenga yosiklam. Naane solidren. Unga kanla irukra andha kovamum veruppum enaku nalla theriyudhu. Adhuku pinnadi irukra izhappum vedanayum enaku puriyudhu. Sari thappu nu solra edathla na illa. Aana ungalku idhu nalladhu illa. Priya ippo illa dan... aana ipdi neenga kashta padradha avanga enikume virumba maatanga. Please unga vaazhkaya neenga ...", she implored and tried to reason until he let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Ungalku onu theriyuma? No one truly dies until the last person who has memories with them dies. Until no one remembers they ever existed. En priya naa uyiroda irukra varaikum... en masula vaazhndutu irupa. Ava inga dan iruka... Indha veetla avalum naanum vaazhnda vaazhaiyoda ninaivugal iruku. Enakulla ava iruka.", he assured with his eyes filled with love for the love of his life.

"Neenga sonna veruppu kovam ellame iruku. Aana unga mela illa. En mela. Na avaluku apo phone panama irundurnda... ava ippo inga irundhurpa. Saagavum mudiyaama... vaazhavum mudiyaama... naragam.", he agonized.

"And every time I see you... I relive that day and end up killing my wife all over again. It's not about you. It's about me. I try to blame you and shut you off because I cannot face you. The guilt is killing me", he divulged the real reason for his sadistic behavior and a lone tear rolled down his cheeks.

"Why did he want to give her a reason?", his mind screamed at him and he had no answers. 

Those elegiac eyes of hers were making him nervous and he could not see her suffering in front of his eyes. He felt an overwhelming need to make her feel better and he did. 

Nila stood frozen, trying to process the sudden revelation.

If she felt so guilty for unintentionally being a part of that accident, she could only imagine the kind of pain and heartache he was going through.

She was witnessing first hand how emotions could mess with one's head. Most importantly guilt that creeps into every part of the soul and crumbles any sanity that was left. 

How was she supposed to console the man who felt accountable for the death of his wife? But how was she supposed to let him suffer alone when they shared the same pain?

When everyone wants to be a sun to brighten up someone's life, she wished to be his moon and shine on during his darkest hour. But would he even let her into his life?

"My life right now is meaningless. Aana your life is not. Make the most of your life. Make my Priya's death a meaningful one. Adhuve enaku podhum", he asserted and closed the door before he broke down.

***

"Indha nerathla enga poitu vara? Mani 10 aachu. Mazha ipdi kottudhu.", her elder brother chided after observing her for a couple of weeks.

Every day at 6 AM and 9 PM his sister went missing for about an hour. Her excuses ranged from meeting a friend, walking in the park to sometimes even as crazy as getting late night coffee when he very well knew that she never drank coffee.

"Vinay please. Don't make it more than what it is.", Nila pleaded.

Though Surya had wanted her to stay away from him, she could not keep herself away even for a few days. After a lot of contemplation, she came up with the idea to just look at him from a distance and make sure he was doing ok.

Walking and driving by his home became her routine. Early mornings and Late nights of her days were dedicated to him.

The irony was that she did not even know his name yet.

Having known her all his life, Vinay was confident that his sister was getting intensely attached to a stranger who wanted her out of his life. And, after weeks of trying to convince her that it would not do any good to either of them, Vinay could not take it anymore.

"Inga paaru Nila.. idhu nalladhuku illa. You have to live your life. Nee enga pora.. enna panra.. elam enaku theriyum. Eduku avara paaka ivlo try panra?", he snapped at her.

Glances of him pacing across the expanse of his balcony, rarely a small smile with someone who appeared to be a close friend or working out were keeping her from drowning in the guilt and emptiness.

Those eyes of his seemed less in pain and like the rays of sun promised a new day after every dark night, the gradual change in him gave her hope that this darkness would be replaced by a promising ray of light very soon.

As weeks passed by it was becoming increasingly evident that life was playing a game of hide and seek with them, and their souls were connected by some mystical energy which could only be felt by the heart.

How was she supposed to make her brother understand these complex and complicated feelings?

"I just want him to be ok. Avlo dan na. I feel responsible for making sure he finds happiness again. Vera edhuvum illa. Nambu", she reasoned placing her head on his shoulder like always.

Being only 2 years older than her, Vinay was not just her brother but her best friend too. 

"Nila. Ne enaku rombha mukyam thangam. Please enakaaga indha pazhakatha vitru", he begged.

"Avar normal aagardha paakardhu naala matum dan ippo na nimmadhiya thoongren. Purinjuko na.", she let out her tears unable to resist any longer.

Vinay couldn't really contest on the fact that his sister has definitely been more relaxed and peaceful after this new habit of hers had begun. Though his mind was suffused with multiple layers of concern and unease, he decided to give in, but on his terms.

"Ipdi mazha lam peiyum bodhu poga koodadhu. Late night la ponum na, naa dan kootitu poven.", he laid out his rules. 

"Love you na", she hugged her darling brother.

"Love you kutty ma", he hugged back his baby sister into a warm tight hug. 

***

It was three months since the accident and it was D-Day. Nila's final check up.

After her morning routine of walking past his home where she saw an older man and woman which she assumed were his parents and sadly no sight of him, she reached the hospital with Vinay.

"You are all cleared to go back to work Nila", the doctor said with a smile.

Finally, being cleared for work meant she will atleast have things to keep her distracted and not think of him every minute of the day. 

"Thank you so much. Evlo happy ah iruku nu solave mudiyaadhu. Thank you", she exclaimed with a wide grin.

"No strenuous jobs. No extra stress.", the doctor warned looking at the grin Nila adorned.

"Sona kekavaa pora?", Vinay complained with a frown and a sarcastic look. 

"Adhulam kepen. Na nalla ponnu dan", she assured and glared at Vinay who was nodding a big no.

***

Dressed in a beautiful white kurthi and blue jean, Nila looked chic and elegant.

On her usual morning walk, she had seen him having fun with the same older woman who was feeding him. It was such a heart warming sight to see on her first day at her new job.

For the first time in a long time, she felt happy because he was happy.

The workaholic in her was pumped up to show up at a new workplace and make heads turn.

Nila, Strategy Lead, StylesAndMore.

It definitely had a nice ring to it.

Working for StylesAndMore had always been her dream. The newest and exponentially growing fashion company that not only competed with Myntra but also was starting a new initiative to connect stylists with common people.  

Before the accident, right after she passed out of IIM-B as gold medalist, she had interviewed for the role and gotten an offer. However, she had also gotten an opportunity to work for Tesla in the US at the same time. Not willing to pass up on the opportunity to work in a company that was changing the world, she had chosen to go with Tesla and declined the StylesAndMore offer.

But with the unfortunate events that followed, her parents and brother had pulled the emotional blackmail card to keep their daughter closer to them and stopped her from leaving the country.

Entering the brand new, small yet aesthetically constructed and designed StylesAndMore office, her lips curved into an involuntary smile.

"Hi Ms.Nila. I am Sanjay. Business Operations Lead. Glad to welcome you onboard", he extended his hand and they exchanged a formal handshake.

"Hi Sanjay. Excited to join the team.", Nila responded with a smile.

After a brief introduction about this new team that will be focused on new initiatives and future strategies of the company, he showed her around the office and introduced Jaanvi and Akshay who were part of his team.

It was a young crowd with fresh minds which added to her excitement. 

"Is that all?", Nila asked.

"You will be directly working with our CEO. Surya.", Sanjay informed.

"Disclaimer. I say this because he is also my best friend. He is a very private person. That's just who he is. But he is an amazing leader and one of the finest entrepreneurs in the country. So don't take it personal if he snaps at times.", he warned.

"I get it. I will make sure that I keep things very professional. No small talks.", Nila assured as they walked towards the huge glass door.

Surya, CEO

"Nee Forbes India 40 under 40 la varnum", Priya's words still echoed in his ears when he heard a faint knock.

After a couple of knocks he sighed and said "Come in"

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Thoughts?

I really am not sure if this came out as expected. Did the best I could. Sorry if I disappointed any of you.

PS: I could not write more about their guilt and grief in this chapter because it was just too much for me to handle. There will be a continuing effect of their mourning in different places, brought out under different lights.