As agreed, USA and USSR carried on with their little international staring contest for the next ten years, though both became increasingly busy with other political matters - and other arguments between the Big Five, the protocol for which was to phone the newly-independent Germany and make him solve their problems for no apparent reason. Poor guy-

After these ten years of silence were over, they met once again... and did absolutely nothing.

Ten years after that, they also did absolutely nothing.

Ten more? Still, they did nothing.

Nothing, but stare angrily.

Thankfully for the rest of the world, they never made it to the fourth meeting: throughout the 1990s, USSR's health declined drastically, much to the concern of not many people at all, to be honest. Still, UN would occasionally send him letters (most requesting his 'big, fluffy, warm, Russian hat thing with the funny flappy bits'). Sadly, he didn't get many replies.

What did I do wrong? Did that offend him? I was only offering to rehome it!

By some miracle, Soviet was able to attend the 1999 Big Five meeting (with a little help from a wheelchair and a very disgruntled-looking Poland, who had been dragged into this goodness knows how). For the first time in years, the Big Five nations were united again!

Cheerily, UN commenced the meeting, displaying yet another PowerPoint, this time concerning 'the economic state of Australian swimming pools'. Disappointingly, nobody paid any attention to this, as they were busy being blinded by the neon-blue Comic Sans that was plastered onto each of the presentation's slides.

[Not relevant, but the English and Maths departments at my school use Comic Sans for everything! I even had a Science test written entirely in Comic Sans last week! It was painful!]

"Why aren't you all reading along?" UN asked, gazing around confusedly, like a lost puppy.

"Well, UN, dear," France began, "You see-"

"Your PowerPoint is burning our eyes," UK finished bluntly.

"W-what? Y-you don't like my PowerPoint?" Union sniffed, blinking rapidly, "O-ok, I-I'm sorry..."

"UNITED KINGDOM LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" France yelled, rushing over to hug a now crying UN.

"Well, what was I supposed to do?"

"NOTHING!"

"You weren't going to do it yourself though and everyone else agrees with me anyway."

"BRITAIN, YOU ARE SLEEPING ON THE SOFA FOR THE NEXT WEEK!"

"Good, you snore really loudly anyway, so I might finally get some sleep!"

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"Can you two not kill each other, I just ate and you're making me feel nauseous," China interjected.

"Fine," France huffed, "UK, we're finishing this conversation at home."

"Whatever, dear."

"UN, want me to finish the meeting?" USA asked, patting the sobbing organisation on the back. Nodding, UN stood up and shuffled away into the back corner of the room, watching America's speech, offended and a little jealous.

"To begin, we ought to assess the data," Ame began, "So, lets turn to page 1463 of the Guidebook and read from paragraph- USSR, wake up!"

"Erm... USSR?" France muttered, poking Soviet's arm.

"Soviet?!" Britain yelled, throwing tea over his head.

"My tea..." China screamed, "How dare you!"

"Well, I wasn't going to waste mine, was I?"

"PEOPLE, WE HAVE MORE PRESSING ISSUES!" USA yelled. "I think USSR has finally collapsed..."

"He's... He's dead?" UN stuttered, walking back over to the startled group, he too rather taken aback, "Does- does that mean I can have his hat now?"

"Never mind that," Ame sighed, "Do you know what this means...?"